you can't

understand

she snuffled

ending

our 1 a.m.

telephone tiff

coming in

later

that morning

pretty much figured

it'd be another

black day consommé

either

she'd be under the covers

comatose

or maybe collapsed

at the kitchen table

head resting

sideways

on one

outstretched arm

staring blankly

at a mug of tea

sneaked a glance

into the bedroom

not there

must've gone over

to her parent's place

for a visit

before Mum

left for work

passing

into the empty kitchen

caught a glimpse

of something

inside

the guest room

doorway

it was her

lying limp

on the hardwood floor

another step

sketched the back window

reflecting off

a sidelong

puddle

of blood

will it ever

be forgiven

my first thought

goddamn grandstander

just perfect

what better way

to accentuate

our little drama

than a suicide attempt

adrenaline

fired me

to a close

kneel

Jesus kid!

What have you done?

felt

for a carotid pulse

nothing

cyanotic and unconscious

she seemed crumpled

her pink onesie

torn

left arm

ribs

and breast

exposed

oddly heavy

clumsily

rolled her

onto her back

detected movement

and lunged

to a 911

learned later

it was likely

only the slosh

of massive

internal hemorrage

squatting

propped against

the wainscot

looking through

binoculars

from the wrong end

ruby red smudges

pocked

the white wicker

headboard

an ornamental rung

clung

by a bloody palm

pale bedspread

soaked in burgundy

ivory lesions

dotting

her naked chest

rawhide laces

sprouting from

the deep creases

that hid roots

wound

down inside

badly bloated

wrists

picking at the gnarls

useless

twin strands

hanging loose

from the bedpost

congealed blobs

bulging

at the tips

no visible

respiration

pupils fixed

and dilated

bit by bit

the stuttering collage

of freakish stills

translated 

to a whisper

faint at first

but ever nearer

ever clearer

white wicker

ruby red

oh my Christ

she's dead

she's dead

https://youtu.be/KwbeHSI-3Co