The list of things SCP-963-131, dubbed "Fresh", is not allowed to do at the foundation.
Why did I take the time to make this?

Anyways, I don't expect all of you to read through the entire thing. But if you do, you get insight of amazing/oh-dear-god events that won't have chapters of their own.

This is probably going to be updated every-so-often. -w-

1: Fresh cannot feed anything s̶u̶g̶ga̶r̶y̶ at all to SCP-999. SCP-999 broke out and tried to hug SCP-001-B.

2: Telling new researchers that SCP-001-B is a crocheting partner is not allowed.
     *Or knitting partner.
     *Or sewing partner.
     *Or any other kind of 'partner'.

3: No longer allowed to challenge S̶C̶P̶-̶0̶7̶3̶ anybody to games and/or competitions. Yes, that includes the Game of Life. And Heads-Up 7-Up. Yes, AND the drink 7-Up. ...wait, how is that even a game?

4: SCP-682 should never be taunted and be called "a caged octopus"!

5: Using 682 as a new "host" is just plain pointless. The last time Fresh tried to use 682 resulted in 682 attempting suicide, and failing horribly.

6: Do not challenge SCP-001-A to d̶r̶a̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ any kind of contest.

7: While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing. No, not even for SCP-3,000. Who even let Fresh in 3,000's chamber, anyways?

8: Fresh is not king of anywhere or anything. Or queen. Or lord. Or any other kind of ruler, genderless or not.

9: 297 should not be used for s̶e̶x̶u̶a̶l̶ any kind of purposes. Actually, never let Fresh within ten yards of SCP-297. Or vise versa. Yes, that does include when 'in heat'. SCP-297 IS A SKELETON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

10: Although it is entirely possible to use SCPs currently under control of the Foundation to make Fresh a tentacle monster, no. 073 and 682 are already a handful. Doesn't Fresh already have tentacles?

11: There is no market for SCP brand pornography.
     *No, not even with 297.
     *Yes, it probably would generate a great deal of revenue if sold in Japan but still, leaving 297 and 999 together? Jesus Christ man.
     *Do NOT replace the camera in 682's chamber with a hidden one, drug 3,000 with ████, and let him into 682's chamber. That was an awkward experience for all of us. Yes, that helped us understand skeletal reproduction. But that does not mean you can force two SCPs to reproduce ever again.

12: Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Nyx's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or liquefied soul magic personally from Fresh's host.

13: Should not replace any lamp with either SCP-001-C or SCP-001-D.
     *Should not replace SCP-001-C or SCP-001-D with a lamp.
     *Or SCP-134.

14: Never let Fresh have ANY contact with Grillby, or any other cafeteria worker.

15: Fresh must never come in contact with anyone under the age of 18. We don't need any more people hypnotized into 'keepin up with da lingo'.

16: Fresh must never let Anti and Error personally meet....ever again.

17: Victims of SCP-010 are not pets.

18: Fresh is not allowed to bargain with personnel for their souls if they are unaware of SCP-3,000.

19: Don't let Fresh come into any contact with SCP-001-B.

20: Not allowed to go off any medication. 
     *Not allowed to pretend he has any medication to be on.

21: May not use any form of the word 'accident' as an excuse.
     *Even if more people are backing Fresh up.

22: No, your day-to-day clothing is not a mandatory part of the dress code. Do not tell new workers that it is.

23: If an SCP file says never to do something, it is not because we want to eliminate your species. Y̶e̶s̶ i̶t̶ i̶s̶!̶ No, it's not, and Fresh may not edit this document.

24: A(ny) knife(ves) belonging to SCP-3,000 is not to be handed out as weaponry to ̶n̶e̶w̶ w̶o̶r̶k̶e̶r̶s̶ anyone at all.

25: Do not drug 297, 073, or 682 for...any use.

26: Do not insult Toby Fox.
     *Or Temmie Chang.
     *Or Crayon Queen.
     *Even when they are not around.
     *Even when it's true.

27: Not allowed to lead a Mobile Task Force, even when 'THE WORLD IS SPLITTING APART!!!'. In fact, just stay 500 feet away from any Mobile Task Force at all times.

28: Fresh is not allowed to sing "Let it Go" to 682 until he repeatedly hits his head against the wall.
     *Or sing any other song.
     *Or PLAY any other song.
     *To any other SCP.
     *Or any staff. Seeing Cami loose her cool was horrifying.

29: Fresh is not allowed to go to any sort of carnival or public event.

30: SCP-038 should not be for any victims of SCP-010, or any other animal to relieve themselves. Keep in mind that 682 got out of containment, let 3,000 out, and killed off about twenty D-Class. We went through three days of total lockdown. THREE DAYS!!!

31: Fresh can never bribe SCP-3,000 to control others just so he can 'be as free as a bird'.
     *Or for any other reason.

32: There is no 'Fresh Fan Club'.

33: Do not give SCP-3,000 a lighter and convince him to make a '1,000 degree knife'.

34: Fresh is not allowed to have anything to do with ANY political figure.
     *Do NOT give us another "John F. Kennedy" situation.

35: Fresh is not from an alternate timeline.
     *Even if it is true, do not try to 'corrupt other timelines'.
     *Or bring another version of himself into the foundation.
     *Or bring ANYTHING from another timeline into the foundation. It took a month to convince 682 that he was under a drug! Yes, it does make sense that the other 682 was a lord of nightmares in that sick timeline. That does not mean our 682 is also a lord in this timeline.

36: Do not bet ANYONE that they can win a knife fight with SCP-3,000 as long as they have chocolate with them. If anything, it only decreases their chances of surviving.
     *Or any other kind of fight.

37: Fresh is not to try/succeed eating one of SCP-038's fruits.

38: Fresh and any SCP-001 are to never come into contact.

39: Furbies are not the answer to every containment breach.
     *Not even bigger Furbies.
     *Or Furby cannons.
     *Except for the one time you built one 8 feet tall and controlled it with a remote to scare 001-B back into containment. THAT was funny, but don't do it again.

40: There is no such thing as an "SCP strip club". 297 is already bad enough.

41: Do not show SCP-3,000 any more television shows about melee combat weapons. Or different types of knives.

42: Do not recreate "Bendy and the Ink Machine" with either SCP-073 or SCP-682.

43: Fresh is not allowed to use 3,000 as a host. At least we now know that 682 can remove Fresh from his host before any permanent is done. Maybe 682 will do it again if we ask nicely.

44: Do not ask SCP-001-C or SCP-001-D to draw sexual things, as they do not seem to know what they are.

45: Do not give any kind of lyrics to SCP-999 and ask him to sing them out loud.

46: Do not tease 3,000 about "his imaginary friend". Where did you even come up with that? It does make 3,000 very mad, though.

47: Fresh is not allowed to show SCP-073 or SCP-682 any form of the hentai you make for skeleton SCPs.

48: Fresh is not allowed to say "IT'S OVER 9000!!!!" in the presence of any staff member.

49: Do not play the knife game with SCP-3,000, or any other SCP.

50: Do not give any sexual toys to SCP-297.

51: If it involves doing something wrong, it isn't right.

52: If it involves something right, you did it wrong.

53: Do not try and make friends with any Keter class.

54: Fresh can never declare war on any living and/or non-living thing.

55: Never take SCP-297 to any form of stripper's club.

56: Do not give any form of sexual audio to SCP-999.
     *Any SCP.

57: Fresh is not the "Lord of the Furbies".

58: Fresh is not allowed to keep exploding Furbies in his fanny pack, or any other pouch.
     *Not even a kangaroo pouch.

59: Fresh is not allowed to take SCP-682 to any fan conventions.
     *Do not take ANY SCP to ANY convention.

60: Do not change 682's Object Class to Safe and give him to a trainee.

61: Do not tell SCP-999 where babies come from. You were very lucky staff were there to shut you up.

62: Please stop scaring SCP-3,000 with cows, or anything related to cows. Except milk. We don't think SCP-3,000 knows where milk comes from.

63: Do not dress up as a cow to make SCP-3,000 do your bidding. It would be a good idea, if 682 wouldn't breach containment every single time you did anything cow-related to 3,000.

64: Fresh is not allowed to defenestrate.

65: Fresh is not biologically proven to be sexually identified as an attack helicopter.

66: Fresh is not allowed to send E-mails. No matter what.

67: Stop saying that you 'ship' 3,000 and 682. It creeps everyone out.

68: You are forbidden to start a fight between 076 and 682.

69: Fresh is not allowed to show anyone the kind of porn he watches. Seriously, 3,000 refused to come into ANY contact with 682 for TWO MONTHS!!! How do you not get that 3k is LITERALLY the ONLY thing that keeps 682 calm?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES 682 TRIED TO GET INTO 3K'S CHAMBER?!?!

70: Vampires do not exist, so don't try and prove that wrong.

71: SCP stands for Secure, Contain, Protect, and does not stand for:
     * Sex, Condoms, and Penises.
     * In this world, it's kill or be killed!
     * In this world, it's eat or be eaten!
     * Stay in Control with Parasites.
     *Snap, Crackle, Pop!
     *Suicide, Control, Pain.
     *Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfucker!
     *Someone is getting stabbed.
          1)But some days, it should be.
     *Society of Creepy Perverts.
          1)Don't.
     *When in doubt, give it to 682.
     *Slapstick, Clowns and Puns.
     *Who wants to see what I can make 682 do in public?

72: Fresh is no longer allowed to drink 7-Up, Moutain Dew, or eat Doritos.
     *Fresh is not allowed to bribe any SCP to bring him these items.

73: A full five minutes of stunned silence does not mean "Do it again!", it means that you should run before someone gets a gun.

74: Pranks are not allowed, no matter what.

75: Fresh is not allowed to blame everything that goes wrong on 3k's 'imaginary friend'.

76: Fresh is not allowed to prescribe any kind of medical treatment.

77: Fresh should never be allowed a gun.

78: Stop saying that you used to work/be a student at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

79: Fresh is no longer allowed to utter the word "defenestrate".

80: Fresh is not allowed to hypnotize other SCPs. Seeing 073 so lifeless was legitimately horrifying.

81: Fresh is not allowed to get high or drunk off of anything.

82: The Gods you mention are not real, stop trying to prove otherwise.

83: Do not inject any SCP with your 'liquefied magic'. 999 was immobile for two days from just one cup.

84: Fresh is not allowed to tie 3k up and force him to train new Class-D via morse code.

85: Fresh was never, and never will be, a ninja.

86: Stop giving SCP-038 Gatorade instead of water.

87: Stop replacing the water with Gatorade.

88: Stop selling 297 to strip clubs.

89: Fresh is not allowed to teach Class-D personal 'the ways of the parasite'.

90: Fresh can no longer take these items as payment:
     *Your soul
     *Anyone else's soul
     *SCPs
     *Memories (real or imagined)
     *Pieces of your past (I don't know how, but 3k can do it)
     *The island of Manhattan
     *Beads
     *A child's laughter
     *A child's tears
     *Ponies
     *Furbies
     *Tattletail
     *Any other robotic mammal children's toy.
     *Anyone's grandmother
     *Anyone's grandfather
     *Anyone's sister
     *Any blood relative

91: Fresh is not allowed chalk.

92: Fresh is not allowed to say 'Thaumiel Class are the safest' to any trainees.

93: Fresh is not allowed to eat the matter 682 and 073 are made up of.
     *Yes, Fresh, we are 100% sure that it is not the cure for cancer. No, we did not test it on those with cancer.

94: Fresh is not allowed to drug 682 to put him in a rage state and let 3k into his chamber. It was actually sad to watch.

95: Fresh is not allowed to claim to know the location of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

96: Fesh is not allowed to sit in the corner and twiddle his thumbs.

97: 'YOLO' is not a valid excuse for anything, even if it is on his shades.

98: Fresh is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits fictional horror stories involving his species.

99: Fresh is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits factual horror stories involving his species.

100: Fresh is not allowed to edit this list.

101: Fresh is not allowed to watch or recreate 101 Dalmations.

102: Fresh is not allowed to try to feed 682 to the crows.
     *Or to any other bird.
     *Or any SCP.

103: Suing either 073 or 682 for littering is pointless.

104: Fresh cannot send others into alternate dimensions or timelines.

105: Stop putting 682 in 073's chamber, let 073 out, and proceed to scream that 'THE OCTOPUS HAS ESCAPED!!!'

106: Stop killing D-Class and blaming it on 682.
     *Or any other SCP.
     *Or staff member.
     *Or non-living thing[s].

107: Do not ask SCP-297 for 'a cup of orgasm' and give it to 3k.
     *Or any other unit of measurement of any other type of thing.
     *Or give it to any other SCP.

108: Do not swap 682 and 073, or 3k and 076. We were all extremely confused.

109: Fresh is forbidden to create any sort of TV show about any SCP.

110: F̶r̶e̶s̶h̶ i̶s̶ n̶o̶t̶ a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ f̶a̶k̶e̶ l̶e̶a̶k̶e̶d̶ s̶e̶x̶ t̶a̶p̶e̶s̶ o̶f̶ 3̶k̶ a̶n̶d̶ 6̶8̶2̶.̶
     *O̶r̶ l̶e̶a̶k̶ a̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶ s̶e̶x̶ t̶a̶p̶e̶ o̶f̶ 3̶k̶ a̶n̶d̶ 6̶8̶2̶.̶
Fresh is not allowed to interfere with other SCP's intimacy.

111: Fresh is not allowed to give 3k to 297 just to see how skeletons force reproduction on one another.

112: Do not sexually harass 2̶9̶7̶ o̶r̶ 3̶k̶ any SCP or staff member.

113: Do not force 3k to consume the matter 682 is made up of.
     *Do not force 3k to consume the matter 073 is made up of.
     *Do not force 682 to eat any part of 3k.

114: Fresh is not allowed to show ANYONE "████".

115: "Challenge accepted" is not a good reason to do anything.

116: Fresh is not allowed to try and suffocate 3k b̶y̶ s̶h̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ h̶i̶m̶ i̶n̶t̶o̶ 6̶8̶2̶ o̶r̶ 0̶7̶3̶ by ANY means.

117: You know what? Just stop trying to kill other SCPs or staff members.

118: Stop taking Class-D who have previously been pedophiles/rapists and placing them in 297's chamber.
     *Or any other SCP chambers without permission from Dr. Cami. They are here for a reason.

118: Stop letting birds live in SCP-038.

119: Fresh is not allowed to cosplay.

120: Stop drugging 3k into sleep and then proceed to dress him in a cow outfit.

121: Stop drugging 682 into sleep, dress him in a cow outfit, and put him in 3k's chamber.

122: Stop going out into public while in a host and claiming that you have a face-crab in your skull.

123: Stop claiming that you have anything to do with Alien vs Predator.

124: Stop re-enacting Alien vs Predator with any SCP that looks like a character from AVP.

125: Stop dying all of Cami's clothing green.
     *Or dye any other staff's clothing to any other color.

126: Do not create an SCP article, and only have "Object Class: ████; Special Containment Procedures: ███, and Description: ██████."

127: Do not color 134's clothing, as they HATE it.

128: Fresh is not allowed to play, show others, or do anything the game "Little Nightmares".

129: Do not try to burry any skeletal SCP alive.

130: No not grave-rob, dig up a skeleton, and claim it's an SCP.

130: Fresh is not allowed to try any sort of ritual.

131: Seeing that SCP-049 does not seem to understand 'Death', do not let them meet again against 049's will.

132: Do not question what you've done to make something appear on this list.

133: Do not let SCP-001-B and SCP-134 meet again.
     *Well now we know that 001-B has monophobia and has actaully began deteriotating mentally.

134: Do not tell new workers that they can calm 682 with candy and a pat on the head.
     *Or if they slap 3k in front of him.

135: Do not make 3k and Seraphim fight again. 3k won and actually got out of the foundation, but ended up coming back to let 682 out. While escaped, though, he wandered into a populated town and was seen by basically everyone.

136: Do not light 073 or 682 on fire. They are both flammable, but that doesn't mean you should use them as walking torches.

137: Don't give 048 to 682, or any other Keter class.

138: Dear god, don't let Fresh anywhere near Paperjam. For the love of SCP-343 don't do it.

139: Do not lock staff in their offices and make it seem like a Keter or Thaumiel is trying to get in.

140: Do not let 999 into 001-B's chamber, as 001-B has a phobia of being touched. 001-B breached and nearly killed 999.

141: SCP-297 is not a guide. Do not make him teach D-Class.

142: Fresh is a parasite, but we can't kill him. He can kill everyone. He is NOT the leader of the foundation. Toby and Temmie are not impressed.

143: Don't tell SCP-076 he's a demi-god. I don't know where you got that, but just don't. 076 is already full of himself in a few topics.

144: Fresh is not allowed to dress up(his parasite) in any type of clothing.

145: Do not bribe SCP-1498 to steal dreams.

146: Fresh is not allowed to have a pet ferret and name it Murr.
     *Not allowed to get a ferret at all.

147: Fresh is not allowed to utter "SCPs are like [LANGUAGE REDACTED]. You have to keep them warm, clean, and away from children."

148: Do not tease Camilia.
    *Or Nyx. Dear god, just don't.

149: Do not tease SCP-1498, SCP-073, or SCP-076 with an overly-dramatic German accent.

150: "Kill it with fire!" is not something to say any time you see a Keter class.

151: Fresh is no longer allowed to speak with Paperjam.
     *We'd tell the addendum name that caused this, but none of the people reading this have an O5-Level clearance card.
     *Fresh, despite having the powers of an O5-command, is not allowed to change this rule.