Here's Chapter 1, forgive me if I get anything wrong, the SCP universe is just really huge and always growing so inaccuracies might be here.

I was a bit hesitant about publishing this.

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2 figures sat across from each other in a small room, a table between them.

The first figure was a female scientist.

Vanessa Oxton:

The 2nd was a male in a prison uniform, not an orange one but an old black and white striped one.

(Y/N) (L/N):

"You know, I believe we should give you the anomaly status." Vanessa stated making you chuckle.

"Really?" you asked with a raised brow. "And why is that Doc?"

"Because you should've died a long time ago (L/N)." Was her simple response making you chuckle once again.

"You're right." you agreed casually. "I wonder why I'm not dead though?"

"Believe me, a lot of us are wondering the same thing." The Researcher replied pulling out a file and placing it on the table.

You stared at it curiously.

"Most amazingly you managed to avoid death by 682 despite directly enraging it..." Vanessa began.

"Oh yeah, Puppy...y'know I thought I was screwed in that situation too." Was your reply.

Flashback:

You looked up curiosly at the Kaiju-sized lizard glaring down at you.

The monster growled while you kept your stare.

"Why am I here again!?" You asked the 3 Researchers watching.

"We'd like to see what happens." Was one Researcher's simple reply.

"Huh?" You asked.

"You have survived longer than any D-Class should, and so we all made a bet, see if your luck holds out against this monster." Another Researcher replied making you glare.

"So this wasn't even authorized was it?" You asked angrily.

"No, not really, but I doubt we'll get into trouble for a bit of fun." The 3rd  Researcher snickered. "Who cares if one D-Class dies anyway, we have hundreds more."

Sadly they were right, you were expendable, a Guinea Pig, a test subject, you didn't matter in here.

However it did make you angry that these jerks thought they could just mess around with people's lives like this.

At least the decent Researchers did stuff like this for the sake of understanding whatever fucked up thing they managed to contain, these ones were just sadistic.

Your attention returned to the giant lizard before you who examined you carefully.

"So you can't do anything?" 682 asked you making you shrug.

You heard from other D-Class that this was the unkillable Lizard that the foundation were trying desperately to get rid of, so she was probably expecting some kind of attempt on her life.

Usually whenever someone comes here they try and fail to kill me, you're just another worthless human. She scoffed but you kept staring.

"Too afraid to even speak or move huh?" 682 asked getting on all six of her limbs and menacingly crawling towards you.

The Researchers watched in anticipation as the Lizard woman approached her soon-to-be meal.

"You humans taste repulsive but maybe you'll have a different taste...likely you'll just be as gross as the rest though." She continued to mock but you just kept staring, more specifically at the large breasts she had hanging on her chest.

The Death Lizard loomed above you, opening her massive maw revealing rows of sharp teeth as well as a long slithery tongue ready to devour you.

"Well boys, it looks like 1515 is finally gonna die." The 1st Researcher chuckled.

"Knew it." The 2nd agreed with a sigh.

"Oh come on!" The 3rd growled having perhaps foolishly bet on you surviving.

However before 682's maw could engulf you, you asked a question.

One single question that stopped the Lizard in her tracks.

"Why do you have boobs?"

682 immediately stopped in her tracks while her jaws were just about to enclose around you.

That question was enough for her to pull back and stare at you much to the shock of your spectators.

"What?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"Why do you have boobs?" You asked again as if you weren't just about to go down a strangely sexy lizard monster's gullet.

"Wh-wha...WHO ASKS THAT!?" She roared and blushed at your audacity.

"Well you have boobs, which means you can produce milk, but you're clearly some kind of reptile and producing milk is something only mammals should be able to do." You explained flustering the lizard further who's whole face went pink.

You noticed this and got curious.

"Lizards can blush?" You asked with a raised brow and this caused 682 to cover her face with 2 of her 4 hands to hide this blush.

"I-I...don't n-need to explain what I am to a lowly Cockroach like you." She stuttered out and this made the Researcher's Jaws drop at what they were witnessing.

You had managed to fluster this abomination with nothing but a simple question.

A question for some reason...no one had asked it despite constant attempts at communication.

"But then again lizards don't have hair either and you do, so you're pretty odd." You continued

"I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION COCKROACH!" 682 snarled making your hair blow back as you stared on with absolutely no reaction.

"I just feel the boobs and hair are unnecessary, the only purpose I see those things having is attracting a mate." You stated making her blush harder, so hard to the point steam began emitting from her face.

"Do Lizards find titties attractive?" You asked as if this was a normal conversation.

"I...I...uh..." 682 tried to stutter out but you kept going.

"The only species I can think of that finds titties attractive are humans."

"What are you trying to say!?" She asked not liking where this was going.

"Are you trying to attract a human mate?" You concluded and that question hit 682 harder than any murder attempt the Foundation could muster.

There was an awkward silence, with only the sound of SCP 4004-J to bring any sound.
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SCP 4004-J is my own joke SCP.
Object Class: Safe
SCP 4004-J resembles a normal cricket in every way, it only appears during awkward silences. Studies have proven that this is the exact same cricket, it can be in multiple places at once and is only visible and audible to those part of the Awkward silence.

Containment is impossible due to this ability but the foundation let's it be cause it's really not doing any harm and a little annoying cricket really isn't on the top of their worry list at the moment plus who's gonna suspect a cricket as an SCP, so no risk of exposing the foundation either so yeah.
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682 was beyond repulsed by what this human was insinuating.

Her? Have a Human as a mate? The thought disgusted her beyond anything.

The thought was more disgusting than the taste of any other human she devoured previously.

"I mean Humans would probably find you attractive, thank God I got baggy pants to hide my boner." You once again said causing more awkward silence.

"Did you just admit you find a giant monstrous death lizard sexualy attractive?" The 1st Researcher asked awkwardly.

"Yes." You replied simply with absolutely no hesitation and shame.

"So you WANT to die!" 682 asked her face going from pink to red and the steam intensifying.

"Yes." You replied once again.

And this made 682 stop and stare.

"What?" She asked.

"I want to die." You replied with a big happy smile.

682 had no idea what to say now, how should she even respond to that?

"What are we looking at guys?" The 3rd Researcher asked flatly.

"I have no idea." The 2nd one stated.

682's thoughts were in complete disarray, this human came in here, was not scared of her, asked her extremely personal questions, admitted she was attractive and told her he wanted to die.

"I think I'll leave now though." You said walking up to the door. "Can you guys let me out now!?"

"Hey wait, if you want to die why don't you just let her kill you?" The 2nd Researcher asked snapping out of his thoughts.

"YOU JUST WANT TO WIN THE BET!" The 3rd Researcher snarled angrily, but everyone just ignored him.

"I don't wanna die for your entertainment." You replied simply.

You were not gonna give these douches any satisfaction.

Before you went to the door however, you decided why not tease the lizard a bit more.

You just hope your luck doesn't run out now.

"Hey!" You suddenly yelled at 682 who also snapped out of her weirded out trance.

"Do you have a name?" You asked.

"E-even if I did...I-I wouldn't t-tell you human." She replied.

"Then I'll name you Puppy." You stated with a smile and it took a moment for 682 to process this.

You swore you could see the buffering symbol on her forehead.

The 3 Researchers were just as flabbergasted as she was.

682 or "Puppy" finally shook her head and glared at the D-Class.

"Puppy?" She asked 3 of her 6 eyes twitching in irritation.

"Yep, I think you're actually kinda cute too." You replied with a smile and at that moment Puppy realized something.

"I could have killed him anytime I wanted...SO WHY HAVEN'T I!?" She thought narrowing her eyes.

Meanwhile the 3 Researchers were too busy trying to make sense of the situation to hear you asking them to open the door as Puppy slowly lumbered towards you.

" Um...guys!?" You yelled out as the Keter-class SCP raised her fist and launched it at you.

With your quick reflexes you jumped to the side to avoid the oncoming fist.

Puppy anticipated this and swung her tail in your direction, but you easily jumped over the appendage and ran all around the cage to avoid her.

"GUYS!!!" You yelled in a bit of a panic as you barely avoided the lizard's snapping jaws behind you.

The Researchers finally snapped out of their daze when the door to their observation room opened and in stepped Vanessa.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" She yelled and all 3 turned towards her.

"IT WAS THEY'RE IDEA!" The 3rd instantly said pointing at his fellow colleagues.

"GET HIM OUT OF THERE!" She yelled angrily frightening the 3 who immediately began doing as she asked.

However you could not make it to the door as Puppy finally grabbed you and held you close to her face.

"Any last words Cockroach!?" She asked with a notable smirk at having finally caught her annoyance.

You just stared curiously, not exactly sure how you'd get out of this situation.

"I'll admit, you're far more resilient than most of the human trash I've encountered, but in the end..." Puppy had no time to finish her sentence as you gave her snout a tender and deep kiss.

The moment she felt your lips on her snout, she froze and gained a look of pure shock.

" You're still cute." You stated with your ever-present smile.

Unable to process what had just happened, Puppy dropped you.

You gracefully landed on your feet and bolted towards the exit which was now open.

The large door slammed shut behind you and sighed in relief at having escaped the infamous unkillable Lizard.

Flashback Over:

"Ever since that day 682 has become even more uncooperative, I did not think it was possible." Vanessa sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Hey don't blame me, those assholes put me in there, I did what I had to do to survive." You said defensively.

"It's alright (L/N), I understand." Vanessa sighed.

"Thanks for saving me by the way." You said sincerely. "Even a suicidal bastard like me can appreciate it."

Vanessa in response gave you a warm smile.

"I never liked unnecessary bloodshed, so don't mention it." She replied and you raised a brow.

"Doc, if you hated unnecessary killing then this job in this place is not right for you." You said concerned.

She sighed in response and replied:

"I know that, but this isn't a job one can simply quit y'know."

You simply shrugged, you don't get the specifics of being a researcher in the SCP foundation and you really didn't want to know, you simply took her word.

"Alright, so why did you decide to come talk to me here?" You asked curious as to why you were dragged out of your cell.

"Well, you see, surprisingly that was the first Keter class SCP you were exposed to." Vanessa said. "So far the most you've faced are Euclid."

"Really?" You asked. "Why though?"

"You're just lucky I guess." She shrugged. "So ever since that incident, plus you surviving many other lethal SCPs without even a scratch the foundation is going to try and test you against mostly other keter class SCPs, I just wanted to warn you ahead of time."

"Awww, Nessa you actually care about me." You said with a sly smirk making her blush.

To your surprise though, she smiled instead of getting the flustered reaction you were expecting.

"Of course I care about you...you're my friend." She said sincerely and this caused you to smile in return.

Honestly, you hated moments like these, they always made you feel so guilty about trying to off yourself.

This woman truly cared about you, she'd obviously miss you if you died.

"Aw Jeeze..." You stated blushing yourself wanting to finish up here so you can get back to your suicidal thoughts. "I'm fine with it."

"Okay." Vanessa sighed. "Violet, take him back to his cell."

Then a female guard stepped in and gestured for you to follow her.

Violet gestured for you to follow her which you did.

"Please promise me I'll see you again." Vanessa said suddenly making you freeze on the spot.

You 2 exchanged a glance, both of you looking rather sad.

"With my luck you probably will." You said simply and she nodded with a slight smile.

With that Violet ascorted you back to your cell.

Vanessa then stared at your file feeling an ache in her heart at the thought of you going up against the worst of what the foundation was containing.

"Why did I have to fall in love with a suicidal weirdo?" She thought before covering her face.
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Once again, so sorry for a long wait, really sorry.

The SCP universe is gonna be difficult, but I'll try.

I have absolutely no idea how a foundation like this works, so bear with me please.