So I'm going to go ahead and assume you've seen my last artbook (if you haven't... Don't, it's all old art) so I'll just jump right in. I'm a weirdo and I'm going to regret what I'm about to do.

I'm about to give you a whole bit of info that will probably make you think of me differently.

1. I live in New Brunswick, Canada on an island (not gonna tell you which one, stalkers).

2. The school I grew up in had on average 50 people from grades Kingergarten to 8.

3. I am 13.

4. Most people didn't pick up on this, but I am a girl.

5. I don't swear.

Now that you know that, let's get on to some lovely backstory. Not that I have a big one, but...

So in grades 3 and under, I had all guys in my class, save one or two girls. I was a normal kid at that point, but then my best friend who was the last girl in the class moved onto the mainland (that's what people who live on islands call the rest of the world XD). So, for the next four years, I was growing up with boys and reflecting their personalities. My interests were never Barbies, dolls, makeup, babies after that. Instead I loved FPS's, four wheeling, wilderness, and hockey above all. This was just last year, I was 12 and in 7th grade. Since it was considered a 'date' to have a girl over, I probably went over to someone else's house maybe once or twice a year. That's a lot of alone time. My only interactions with other people even close to my age was either over the Internet, or with the pastor's kids. With nobody else to call my friends, instead of treating them like I was an adult and they were kids, I treated them as I would someone my age. So, I never really matured.

Then, in the entire class of 13 boys and one other girl who didn't hang out with me, went through puberty.

One kid (who I won't name, let's call him Charles) was particularly interested in my, er, 'developing' body to say the least. So one time I was on a boat ride with my basketball team which Charles was on as well, going to a game we were playing in. When he walked behind me, he touched my, well... Rear.

The second 'incident' for lack of a better word, was when I was bent over on a water fountain drinking. Charles came up behind me and air humped behind me.

The third and final incident was when we were playing ball hockey for gym. I was goaltender with Charles on my team. So he takes his stick and touches my rear with it. When I realized, I looked at him like 'did you really just do that' and he just grinned. That was it, that was when I cracked.

I threw off my gloves and started chasing after him mid - game, trying to hit him with my stick. I never ended up hitting him because of all of my clunky gear on. If not, I would've ripped him in half.

I'm not sure if his mother ever found out, but after the coach talked to him he came up to me and said, and this is the funny part, "please don't tell your mum". He knew he'd get it if I did. So, I told him that of course I would, this isn't something to keep a secret. After I said that he didn't bother me much again except for writing "(insert my real name here) is so hot" in his math textbook. Mom offered to call his mother, but after a few months of nothing he seemed to stop and so we never called.

After this, I started to get the teenager feelings of 'I have no friends'. But this is what I am currently struggling with.

After years and years of being alone, I started to wonder if I was going 'crazy' for lack of a better word. I took an anxiety test, which said that I should get a therapist. I talked to myself, and did some research on why people talk to themselves. I found out that people who talk to themselves are lonely, and so talk to themselves because they have nobody else to talk to.

The year after the Charles incidents, this year, I got the opportunity to go to the Christian school that I go to currently. My first impressions were pretty good. I was learning so much more than I was at the other school. I loved it. But then I made a few discoveries. We didn't go outside for break like we did at my old school. None of the kids (there were around 20 from grades Junior Kindergarten to 12) didn't play sports or have any interest in them. There were also only three boys, and they didn't care for sports at all, so this is when my family tried to girl me up.

The year before, I had worn a low ponytail and t-shirts with leggings, no makeup. Now, I was wearing makeup with my hair in a pretty bun and my school's uniform was a fancy white polo and dress pants. I sat inside all day, awkwardly drawing in the corner while everyone else chatted for hours on end (kids from 7 and up had known each other from out of the womb). Two weeks after being blocked out of the picture, I started to get worried that there was something wrong with me - that I was crazy. The first week of school, we did an activity in Chapel where one person lays down on a white board and people around you have to write nice things about you. Somebody actually wrote 'crazy' above my head.

People tried to convince me that it was just 'crazy in a good way'. However, I disagreed, especially because I had already come to the conclusion that I had completely lost my mind. 

I discussed my feelings of loneliness to my sister, who had gone to a new school the year prior. She said that it took her at least two weeks before she started making friends. I was a month in, still nothing.

So then I started noticing this one girl who also had the smallest interest in hockey. Let's call her Lucy. I jumped on that spark, and it made a flame. Soon enough we were both checking out each other's new gear and playing hockey in the tiny lunchroom at break. It was pretty awesome, but of course, all good things have a catch.

One night the youth group was going to see a hockey game. Lucy and I went in the same car. Since she lived on the mainland and the hockey game didn't get over until very late and I wouldn't catch the last ferry, I stayed the night at her house. In her town there was a hockey rink, so we planned to go skating and play hockey for the entire game.

Long story short, jokingly, I stepped onto her back.

Then I was completely ignored, not talked to whatsoever even though I was at her house for the entire day. She did this for two days.

After that (including the time I'm writing this) she has forgiven my multiple 'sorry's. When I told my mother what had happened, she assumed that I nearly broke her ribs, considering her reaction. So, she texted Lucy's mother, who herself said that I shouldn't worry about it and that Lucy overreacted, which I understood.

So now I am extremely careful what I say and do around anyone at all times. I constantly tell myself, "be normal", and try to stop myself from talking to myself. I think I'm the opposite of an introvert, but I have been shoved down and compressed to look like one.

This past week has been pretty good - I had someone over for every day this week. It could very well be my last hang out for weeks, but all we can do is hope.

So here we are now. Now you know a crap ton about me, and why I am convinced that I'm insane. I had to laugh when I was talking to the mother of a kid who goes to my school. Said kid used to be homeschooled. His mother said that homeschooling was 'too much alone time'. Yeah, no kidding.

For the finale of my sob story, we get a face reveal, so people can know what I look like because... Reasons. Also, people probably wonder why I make male characters so much. Like I said, I have the mindset of a guy, living with them does that to you. So this picture is of me just a few weeks ago when we were at that Newsboys concert. My mother and sister forced me to have my hair done and makeup as well. That smile... That smile is fake. I hate makeup.

If you're wondering why my nose is so flat, I stood in front of a cartwheel last summer and my nose almost broke, bleeding everywhere. I didn't get it checked out by a doctor, but it wasn't broken and it works just fine now XD

So the cover for this book is one I made purely because I wanted to get on with this book and the things in it, but I needed a cover for it. I made a little WIP type thing. It was made in probably 2 1/2 hours.

Now I have a few things planned for this book so far, so here they are in order, probably coming out by the end of the week.

1. I went through a lot of stuff today in my room, and I remembered that I hadn't shown any of you guys yet. I'm going to give you guys a little tour of my newly rearranged room.

2. Last year's sketchbook cringe showcase. Eeewwww, it's so old and cringe ya I've already looked through it. It's probably going to be in two parts, there's a lot of pieces. Brace yourselves.

3. Childhood drawings. Made from roughly ages 6 and under, these pieces are going to be shown (with much regret) in probably three parts (stupid Wattpad image limit) because there's so many.

So welcome to my new artbook! Sorry I had to make you read, I just figured that you know more about me now.