RESTY Fondejar was in front of a vanity mirror in the dressing room, sitting in a folding chair while holding his print-out. Tapos na siyang makeup-an ng stylist. He looked fresh and full of life. Idagdag pa roon na guwapo naman talaga siya. He has low, bushy eyebrows, thick light brown lips, and brown eyes that bore a naturally intense and penetrating gaze. Resty has those eyes that matched the graveness of the bad news he mostly reports on TV. Every bad news carried more impact thanks to his intimidating, serious stare, and stoic tone.

Resty also wore a gray suit with a fit that accentuated his firm, sturdy figure. Isang beses sa isang linggo na lang siya nakakapag-gym pero nagagawan niya ng paraan ma-maintain ang may kalaparang pangangatawan sa pamamagitan ng no-equipment exercises. He wasn't that bulky muscular-type but the shape of his torso made his body look like The Rock's. Humahapit tuloy sa balat niya ang matigas na mga muscle. No fats could be seen in unwanted places except an appearance of two thin layers of iton his stomach when he slouches.

Isang dekada na siya sa propesyon bilang tagapagbalita. Nagsimula siya sa pagiging field reporter, paggawa ng mga documentary, at sa wakas ay naging regular na news anchor sa TV. May ilang advertisements rin siyang naging proyekto kaya makalipas ang labintatlong taon ay unti-unti siyang nakapagpundar. Inspite of all these, his top priority is his physique, but it's more than just being fit and looking good.

Resty had been very body-conscious ever since he encountered things in his field of work. Una siyang naging field reporter. Napapasabak siya sa gitna ng bagyo at minsan ay sa kalagitnaan pa ng mga labanan sa pagitan ng militar at mga sibilyan. Nakatatanggap din siya ng paminsan-minsan ng bmga anta sa kanyang buhay kaya nanigurado siya. He kept his body healthy and fit. He made sure he will be flexible enough to protect himself, lalo na nang nagkaroon na siya ng malaki-laking pera na mailalagak para sa kanyang proteksyon. He just has this zest for life, in contradiction to how lifeless he looked when delivering news on TV. There's just a lot of things that kept him obsessed with staying alive.

Other people didn't bother or think of it, but Resty does. He always does. Walang nakahahalata at wala siyang pinagsasabihan na ang mamatay ang pinakakinatatakutan niya.

Ang pinaka-iniiwasan niya.

Ilang beses na niyang nautakan si Kamatayan, kaya hangga't makakaya niya, iisahan at iisahan niya ito.

So, aside from keeping his body fit, he attended self-defense classes. Nagse-self study din siya ng physical combat at pinag-aaralan ang mga video na nakikita sa internet. He could make things simple by hiring himself a bodyguard, pero mahirap na. Baka ang ma-hire pa niyang tao ay hindi mapagkakatiwalaan. Moreover, he didn't want another mouth to feed and a pair of eyes watching his every move. Resty preferred being the lone wolf especially when he's in a world where he was made aware of fruitless reliance and trust. Just fruitless, because his world is a jungle filled with biased and treacherous snakes. Napakasimple rin ng solusyon para rito. Puwede naman niyang iwanan ang mundong ito, ang media.

But when he realized he should leave, it was already too late.

He just . . . could not leave this world anymore.

Sunod na inatupag ng stylist na si Dindee ang kanyang buhok. Ang target nito ay magawa ang kanyang signature side-part hairstyle. 'Yong istilo na may nakalambiting ilang hibla ng buhok sa ibabaw ng kanyang kanang mata. Pero wala sa ginagawa ng stylist ang isip at atensiyon niya. He didn't need to worry about the result of the hairstyle because Dindee had been styling him for years and always met his expectations. Naka-focus lang siya sa binabasa sa papel . . . sa papel o cue card na hawak niya hanggang mamaya pagsalang niya on-air sa studio.

Mabilis namang pinasadahan ni Resty ng basa ang print-out. Gawain na nilang mga news anchor sa studio ito bago isalang sa harap ng camera. Bago pa mai-broadcast ang balita, nabasa na nila ito para maihanda ang kanilang mga sarili. At dahil handa na sila, kontrolado na nila anuman ang reaksiyon sa kanilang mga ibabalita na nakawiwindang kung minsan. Katulad na lang ng pangatlong headline na binabasa ng kanyang mga mata. Tungkol ito sa isang menor de edad na ginahasa muna bago pinatay.

Tuwing may nalalaman siyang balita na may kinalaman sa rape, manginig-nginig ang kanyang kalamnan. Nawawalan siya ng gana sa usaping sex. Resty enjoyed sex a lot. He found a flicker of pleasure in it. But news like this makes his stomach turn.

Disgusting, wala sa loob na ngiwi ni Resty bago ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa.

He skipped the lines that were meant for his co-news anchors. Hindi para sa kanya ang nadaanan ng mga mata na introduction sa showbiz reporter pero binalikan niya ito agad nang may mapansin. Sa ikalawang pagbasa ay saka lang nag-sink in sa kanya ang nahagip ng tingin.

It was a summary of all the headlines that will be discussed in details by the showbiz news reporter. A particular part caught his attention because of the name on it.

Jen Duh, bibisita sa Pinas?

He felt his chest tighten.

His pants too.

Damn. Kailangan na naman niyang magtino sa harap ng camera. Magkunwaring hindi apektado. He has to keep a straight face even in this very moment when he read her screen name.

He momentarily forgot his recent thoughts about all the gruesome crimes in the news headlines. Everything was replaced by Jen. Every corner of his mind was occupied by Jen Duh— the Fil-Am Diva Sensation.

The very thought of her has an aftertaste. An exciting pinch of spice at first that awakens his whole system, then later on, something sweet as vanilla follows. Then, a bitter after taste. This always happens when he hears her name, when he sees her face on TV, on the internet, or in the magazines and newspapers. And the fact that he could still taste her always perplexes him because he knew he shouldn't. He just shouldn't feel this way for that woman.

"Ilang minutes na lang?" lingon saglit ni Dindee sa crew na sumilip sa pinto ng solong dressing room ni Resty.

"May thirty minutes pa, Dindee," sagot ng baklang naka-itim na shirt at jeans sa lalaking stylist habang palapit sa kanya. "Sir Resty," hinto nito sa kanan ng upuan niya, "nandito si Miss Meghan."

"Oh." He could not help the disappointed tone. Hindi siya natinag sa pagkakapako sa kinauupuan at sa posisyon alang-alang kay Dindee na inaayos pa rin ang kanyang buhok. "She's early." And she's not supposed to be here. Ang usapan, sa restaurant na kami magkikita.

It was Meghan Ordoniez, a daughter of a banker. They looked like they were dating but that's not the real score. Meghan was, sort of, courting him. It was her who kept chasing him. No matter how many times he rejects her, she would simply tell him to let her keep pursuing him. To give her a chance to change his mind. Siya na lang din ang sumusuko sa babaeng ito dahil ayaw naman niyang mamahiya ng tao, lalo na at may iniingatan siyang reputasyon. Meghan has a knack for making a scene, which always leaves him without a choice but to give in to her whim. But the last one she did five days ago—barging into his hotel room without him knowing was the last straw.

He refused talking to her since then, until last night, Meghan texted him to meet her tonight in a restaurant. She said, she wanted to give a proper apology for sneaking into his hotel room unannounced.

Naapuhap ni Resty ang isasagot sa studio crew. "Don't let her in—"

"Babe!" deretso pasok ni Meghan sa dressing room.

He spoke too late. Meghan already walked in, acting like she owns the whole place as usual. Huminto ang babae sa kaliwa niya, yumuko, at walang paalam na humalik sa kanyang mga labi. It was a quick smack. Her thick, loosely curled pale chestnut brown hair was rich in volume, bobbing in her every move. She immediately withdrew, stood straight, and smilingly gazed at the reflection of the four of them in the mirror.

"Damn, Meghan. Ano ang nangyari sa usapan natin?" anas ni Resty rito.

"Na-postpone ang lakad namin ni Janice tonight. So, kaysa naman ma-hassle ako kakapabalik-balik, dito na ako pumunta." May pagyayabang sa tono nito. "Besides, it's not out of the way."

His eyes moved, glimpsed at Meghan's reflection against the vanity mirror. He observed that she definitely glammed up. She put on a bright red lipstick and a peach-colored tube dress that contoured her body. Sheesh. Of course, Meghan would wear a tube dress, because that would be easier to slip out of when they starting fucking. She's just so easy to read . . . to memorize. So unfortunate of her to think that they will go as far as fucking, after he told her so many times that he's not interested with her.

"I don't care. Ayoko ng istorbo sa trabaho," tutok niya uli ng tingin sa papel. "Fuck," he muttered upon landing back on the printed name of Jen Duh.

"Come on, Resty," she smirked, teasing. "Ganoon ka na ba kabaliw sa akin kaya hirap na hirap kang maka-focus sa trabaho when I'm around?"

His eyes narrowed. Gasgas na kasi itong istilo ni Meghan na gina-gaslight siya para maramdaman para rito ang gusto nitong maramdaman niya.

"Resty!" his machine-gun mouthed co-news anchor, Peter, barged in. Masiglang-masigla ito, kulang na lang ay magtatatalon sa tuwa. His behavior is understandable because he's still young and a newbie. Six months fresh as a news anchor after becoming a successful field reporter for his viral documentaries. Peter skipped from major field reporting experiences like covering news about crimes, wars, and typhoons, kaya napakapositibo ng disposisyon sa buhay. "Tapos ko na basahin 'yong headlines! Holy shit! I've got an information that you'll definitely want to hear! You'll cum your pants to this! Pupunta dito 'yong pinapantasya mong si Jen—Duuuuh!"

He stopped mid-step. Huli na kasi bago nit napansin kung sino-sino ang mga nasa loob ng kanyang dressing room.

"Why is everyone in my dressing room?" Resty gritted. Nakapu-frustrate lang na hindi niya puwede igalaw ang ulo para lingunin sina Peter at Meghan para tingnan nang masama. Bumagal naman ang kilos ng mga kamay ni Dindee dahil nadi-distract. "Kitang nagtatrabaho pa rito si Dindee!"

Peter released an awkward laugh. "I'm just here to bring the good news. Dapat masaya ka kasi . . ." Hindi nito naituloy ang sasabihin nang maalalang kasama nila sa dressing room si Meghan. "Kasi narito ang girlfriend mo."

"Meghan is not my girlfriend," mahigpit niyang paglilinaw. "At puwede ba? All of you! Leave me and Dindee alone!"

Nahihiyang umeskapo na ang studio crew. Napakamot naman ng batok si Peter at aalma pa nang irapan niya sa repleksiyon nito sa salamin.

"I'll stay here," tawad naman ni Meghan. "I won't disturb Dindee. Wala kasi akong mauupuan—"

"It's a studio. Napakaraming seat sa harap ng stage, Meghan!" nagtitimpi niyang taboy rito.

"Hmph!" taas-noo ng dalaga. "Fine! I'll wait there." Palabas na ito nang may maalala. "Oh, do you want me to buy you some drinks—"

"Out. Meghan."

"Oo na! Geez!" napapailing na pinarolyo ng babae ang mga mata bago nagmamadali ang mga maliliit nitong mga hakbang palabas ng dressing room.

Nang sumara ang pinto, rinig na rinig niya ang pagbuntonghininga ni Dindee. Animo'y nakahinga ito nang maluwag.

"Don't worry, Sir Resty. Matatapos na rin ito," anito habang mas bumibilis na ang kilos ng mga kamay sa kanyang buhok.

He seriously returned his eyes on the cue card and read that name.

Jen Duh . . . What a stupid name. Why not stick to Meika? His jaws tensed. Fuck it. Her actually name still affects him. A sharp glint writ across his intense eyes, he saw it in his reflection in the mirror. The fact that he felt so strongly just by thinking of Meika's name made him feel ashamed. Lalo na nang hindi niya mapigilang maalala ang pares ng mga mata na nakita niya sa hotel hallway limang araw na ang nakalilipas.

That woman wore a face mask, but he never saw such eyes as sleepy and heavily-lidded as hers. As Meika's . . . He walked too fast, he had to shrug his shoulders a bit to catch a glimpse of her once more, yet he only saw her side profile . . . the corner of her hooded eyes . . .

So, I am not wrong. Ikaw nga . . . Ikaw nga iyong nakita ko.

Nagtitimping napailing tuloy siya.

Gulat namang napasinghap si Dindee. "Sir Resty!"

Namilog ang mga mata niya nang mapagtantong ang ginawa niya ay gumulo sa trabaho ni Dindee sa kanyang buhok. Ibinalik niya agad sa harap ng salamin ang tingin. He tried to keep his head straight as much as he could.