Life is weird.

Honestly.  Well, MY life is weird, I don't know about yours.

I mean, I've gone from poor college fangirl to personal assistant to my celebrity crush to sleeping with that celebrity crush and having more money than I honestly need. Weird.

I've been all over the world, stayed in some of the most luxurious hotel rooms and seen some of the most amazing sights. I've done so many things I never thought I'd do, most of them with (or TO :-p) Scott. It's funny how experiences can change you, how quickly life can alter and mold you into something different without you even noticing.

It's been a few months now since Scott showed up at that hotel room in San Francisco because he couldn't wait one damn day until I was back in LA. (He's an idiot, but he's my idiot and that's why we love him right? My big hearted blonde idiot.) I'm still not 100% used to all of this, I mean, you'd think there wouldn't be THAT much difference in the way we are now and the way we used to be, right?

Wrong.

I honestly didn't think Scott's cute/sweetness level could be turned up any higher but it's currently dialed up to 1000... He's so cuddly and snuggly and he says things that are SO cheesy and mushy that I want to simultaneously vomit and cry from the sweetness. I don't even know what to do with myself. He takes such good care of me that I'm a little lost. Don't give me that look. I know it sounds psychotic to say that someone taking care of me is bad but hear me out.

I mean ... I'M supposed to take care of HIM... it's LITERALLY my job. He doesn't realize how difficult it makes things when he just wants to cater to me. Well... I mean, I won't complain about the massages or breakfast/lunch/dinners in bed, but when we're not in LA and I'm not being pampered by Mr. Generous, I'm supposed to do my job. Well, apparently he doesn't know how to turn off boyfriend mode. I love it, don't get me wrong, but I don't want him getting burnt out because he thinks he has to treat me like a queen 24/7 plus meet fans and put on a smile and be social and then sing for hours and... well, you get what I'm saying.

He's done three shows in four days and this morning I STILL woke up to find he'd already ordered breakfast AND somehow managed to have flowers delivered to me.

Like, really? FÜCKING FLOWERS! How much romance can a girl take before melting?  I don't know that I'm worthy of all of that.  No, I KNOW I'm not .

So no. Mama is not having it. I love the attention and I'm obsessed with the stupid, proud smile that crinkles his eyes when he knows he did good, but I love him (shut up) and it's time for him to relax and let me take care of HIM like I'm supposed to.

I know arguing with him will be pointless, (boy is almost as stubborn as me) so we'll just have to render him speechless so he HAS to listen won't we. I have an idea but I'm not really sure about it. I mean, I haven't done this in awhile, but I'm hoping it'll have the effect I'm going for.

It's going to take some help, though. The things I do for him...

~~~

Jeezus all the wiggling I just had to do better be fücking worth it. I mean how the hell is he going to get me out of these things. We will cross that impossible bridge when we get to it, Hunny.

I toss my head a bit to get my hair out of my face as I step out to see 3 mouths drop open and a lot of wide eyes.

Fantastic. I'm making a fool of myself already. "That bad?"

"Mitch... just...! I mean, just look at yourself." Kirstie aggressively points to a mirror and I'm a little concerned that her eyes are going to pop out of her head.

"Woowww..." Nicole half laughs half exhales out as she shakes her head staring at me.

Candice is just leaning against the wall with a shít eating grin on her face. "Nicole hasn't even touched him yet. Are we sure we're not going to give our poor boss a heart attack?"

I roll my eyes and make my way over to the mirror. I know I'm staring for a second, I mean... I'm a little taken aback by what I see.

It's a little extreme, I'll be honest... but I'm into it. Sure the stiletto boots are difficult to walk in, but I'm getting used to it. The black pants I look like I poured myself into were a pain in the ɑss to get into (seriously girls how/why do you do this to yourselves?!) but DAMNNNNNNNNNNNN my ɑss looks phenomenal (ok...that's why.) 

I'm wearing another custom distressed tour tee with a stretched out neckline (we know how my man feels about clavicles) and I'm already feeling the shift in my body language. Isn't it odd how the perfect outfit can literally change your confidence level?

"I think he's going to give me a heart attack first." Kirstie is grinning and I can't help but smile at her.

"Oh, just you wait..." Nicole has a smirk on her face and I'm not sure I'm ready... " Time to go to work, Mitchy."  I'm 100% sure SCOTT isn't ready.

~*~*~*~*~

Ok, I know I felt confident before, but maybe this whole thing is more MY taste and not Scott's? I mean... we've known each other awhile and I've worn a little makeup before and I've worn smaller heels a couple of times, but not since Scott and I were a thing so I'm not exactly sure how he feels about things like this.

Dammit, I should have thought this through a little better.. Still, I'm a little obsessed with myself at the moment. I want to take a million pictures because I feel like a fücking BAD ASS! Nicole is like my fairy godmother with this miracle she has created with my hair and my face. Ok, I think he'll be into it. I think?

Fück. I need another opinion.

I make Kirstie take a few pictures of me and I send one off to both David and Ava with a 'Do you think Scott will like this or is it too much?'. I need reassurance. I'm needy.

David is the first to respond (no surprise there) and the shouty caps that pop up on my phone screen make me laugh.

David: WHAT THE HELL?????
David: oh boy what the actual fück?? why would you HURT me like this
David: he better fücking like that because if he doesn't 1. i'm gonna question his sanity, 2. I'M getting your ass.

Still with his Mitchy crush. Adorable.

Mitch: are you sure about the heels? i mean I love them but i dunno about him
Mitch: also good to know i have a fallback plan if things with Scott head south in a nonhappyfun way

David: Am I sure about the heels?? As sure as I am that holy damn I'm gonna drool!!

Mitch: aww thanks babe
Mitch: what do you think about the makeup

I take a selfie, turning on the sex kitten and sliding a finger to my lip just because I think it's funny to get him riled up. I'm an awful human, but whatev.

David: I think that if you keep going I either need to go find Connor, or find you. And at the moment I'm ready to fight Scott :-P

Love him and his compliments. :) I swear I don't ONLY keep him around for the compliments... honest ;P

Mitch: <3 love you
Mitch: I thought about walking into Scott's fan meet & greet tomorrow like this but I'm not sure how he's going to react so I think it's best to do it in private

Also, I'm not sure I want fans judging me in this. I mean... I think I look sexy as hell, but fangirls can be vicious and the less ammo I give them, well... 

David: I mean, if you actually want his fans to find out you're 100% together because he tears his pants apart with a raging boner, go for it
David: that will give it away for sure

Mitch: HA HA that mental picture - thanks for that
Mitch: Besides most of them know anyway even if we haven't confirmed it. Scott isn't exactly subtle
Mitch: Uh oh... Nicole wants to put fake lashes on me but I think that might be too much
Mitch: i mean i'm already trying to figure out how he's going to be coordinated enough to get me out of these damn pants I had to wiggle my ass into

David: listen, let me practice so then i will show him ;-P
David: yessss bitch get those lashes!!!! Blink at your man and he'll give you the world
David: by world I mean sex
David: in case you were wondering

Mitch: lmao girl you should see the magic between his legs it really is the world
Mitch: what if he hates it i'm worried whyyyyyy am i so anxious i mean fück i know he loves me but what if he laughs

David: mitchhh are you serious
David: you look amazing. Like even better than usual and that is saying something
David: if he laughs it's because his brain is not functioning

Mitch: you're sweet but also verrryyy biased

He totally is.

David: also yes please give me details about the magic world between his legs
David: oh I AM BIASED?? NOT YOUR FÜCKING BOYFRIEND???

Mitch: ughhh stop being rational you're ruining my downward spiral
Mitch: maybe this was a dumb idea but i had to do SOMETHING before he runs himself into the ground trying to take care of me instead of letting me do my JOB and take care of him
Mitch: he turned off my alarm last night and let me sleep while HE ordered breakfast and planned lunch and somehow found the time to have fücking FLOWERS delivered for me ... FLOWERS DAVID
Mitch: he just did 3 fücking shows in 4 days and he's ordering me flowers
Mitch: and he did all of that before he left for the world's longest and most boring meeting! He needs a fücking break and I need him to shut the fück up so I can lay down the law. 

David: THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING EVER
David: find me a damn scott hoying!!!!

Mitch: yeah it's sweet but hes going to burn himself out if he keeps doing it
Mitch: but he won't listen to me
Mitch: so i thought maybe if i did this... he'd shut up long enough to listen ... or if not I could tire his ass out so i can do my fücking job without him trying to be the perfect boyfriend ugh

David: lmao sounds like a perfect plan

Mitch: i just don't want him doing too much ... you know how he is. he's an overachiever ...
Mitch: besides we haven't had sex in over two weeks.. i'm DYING

David: no sex in two weeks, WHAT A HARD LIFE GRASSI

Mitch: Oh i can do without regular sex... obviously i did for months...
Mitch: but without sex with Scott?
Mitch: you don't understand
Mitch: you CAN'T
Mitch: withdrawals are happening

David: trust me I'd LOVE to understand
David: you're not the only one without sex though

Mitch: connor holding out?

David: yeah. well he's not in town right now but even then I don't know if he will ever..or if we'll ever be something more than guys who like to make out lol

Mitch: give him time ... he's a very sweet, very shy, very newly out boy ... he's still figuring it out
Mitch: plus i mean, damn look at you he can only resist for so long

David: I know that, so I'm trying not to force him! I just think we might want different things

Mitch: don't get in your head - you're worrying about troye aren't you

Another notification pops up and it looks like Ava finally got my text. Let's see what bestie #1 has to say.

Ava: WHAT THE FÜCK IS THIS!?!?!???

Mitch: I'm trying to do something for scott bc... bitch is doing too much for me right now (FLOWERS AVA HE GOT ME FÜCKING FLOWERS)
Mitch: but i don't know if it looks ok?

Ava: Babe, he's gonna wanna do YOU after he sees this.
Ava: You look hot. Simple as that.

I love my girl, but she's also kinda biased. Still, she's usually brutally honest so I'll take her word for it.

Mitch: not if he can't get me out of these fücking tight pants
Mitch: nicole wants to put lashes on me i feel like i'm going too far ugh why is this harrrdddddd
Mitch: you know I can't make decisions

Ava: He'll just have to slowly peel you out of them. No biggie.
Ava: Omggg fake lashes would be amazing. I've always wanted you in eyeliner and mascara. You already have lashes girls would die for.

Mitch: Thanks babe <3
Mitch: I tried to get Davids opinion too but you know him
Mitch: he's just being useless and talking about getting into my pants himself lol

Ava: if you rolled my way I'd say the same thing.
Ava: boys are useless anyways. Except you.

Speaking of David, I should check on him.

David: ...no....
David: Okay yeah fine.

I'm stopped mid response as Nicole starts measuring out lashes against my eyes. Oh God, this is going to happen. Why does it feel like a huge deal?

After she's put them on and added more eyeliner  I stare at myself again. I'm not trying to be vain, but I'm just not used to seeing myself this way.

I take a few more selfies and hope I'm not going overboard with this look.

Mitch: sorry nicole was putting lashes on i told her i'd give it a shot but nothing too crazy and it's weird
Mitch: I mean they feel weird ... a little
Mitch: but anyway back to Connor - don't be worried
Mitch: i mean... troye is crushing hard but he's aware of con's feelings and i also may or may not have put the fear of god in him if he caused any issues

David: TROYE IS CRUSHING???
David: Oh great. Send me a selfie w lashes so maybe you'll finally kill me for good

Mitch: trust me con isnt biting or troye wouldn't be pouting so hard

Well... he asked for it. Have a selfie or two.

David: WHY ARE YOU GORGEOUSSS
David: also its not like we're exclusive so he can..

Mitch: wait ... you haven't talked to him about being exclusive?! BITCH WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR get those claws in him

David: When was I supposed to do that??
David: Also he KNOWS I'm all in. He's the mysterious one

Mitch: so TALK to him - tell him all the things you're telling me
Mitch: don't be me and scott
Mitch: we could have had this for ages but you know the story

David: Buttttttt
David: If he wanted more he would say something. I've hinted at it

Mitch: and what is it you said? if this were reversed and I was saying it instead of you what would you tell me?!

David: Listen bitch you guys were being obviously morons. Don't even

Mitch: david you're the dominant personality in that relationship you know that ... you have to be a little blunt with Con he gets distracted in a microsecond. He's a precious little ray of sunshine.
Mitch: just tell him before i do

David: I don't wanna do it via skype. We talked via skype for months I want for it to be in person..and he's never here bc of work.

Mitch: well then you have to make a choice - what do you want and what are you ok sacrificing to get it? I mean i'd suggest Gus but he's off on another tour too so

David: Oh shush. I want Connor and you know it

Mitch: then tell him ... otherwise you're just wasting time like Scott and I did
Mitch: and giving your hand a workout

David: Of course that's what you're worried about
David: Why am I even surprised

Mitch: hey, i've been there it ain't pretty

David: I knooow. Fücking hormones

Mitch: unless you wanna video that shit for my enjoyment ;P

David: lmao with that magic universe between Scott's legs I doubt you'd be interested
David: but do let me know if you need a third

Still a damn thirsty fangirl. Can't blame him for trying though ;-P

Mitch: you got it babe
Mitch: alright you figure out connor i have to calm my anxiety and figure out if i'm brave enough to see how scott feels about this look on me

David: good luck! I have work to do but I'm of course not doing it lmao let me know how it goes.. IN DETAIL. ALL OF THE DETAILS!

Mitch: if scott laughs at me prepare for tears
Mitch: love you!

David: love you and if he does send him to me i'll kick his beautiful ɑss

Ok. I'm still not sold on the lashes, and while my trio of magical miracle workers are all totally on board, I'm still a little anxious about it.

Back to Ava.

Mitch: Sorry, Nicole was putting on the lashes which let me tell you is a fücking process

I send a couple of selfies with the lashes and hope she will tell me what I should or shouldn't do.

Mitch: too far?

Ava: God Mitch STOP. No one could resist that. Scott won't be able to keep his hands or anything else off of you.
Ava: Why am I friends with someone so good looking
Ava: I'm wearing a brown paper bag over my head next time we're in public.

Mitch: what if he hates it
Mitch: stop queen you're gorgeous

Ava: There's literally no way he wouldn't love that.
Ava: I wanna see his face when he sees you. Priceless.

Mitch: Why am I so anxious what if he hates the heels

Ava: You won't be wearing any of that for long anyways.
Ava: it's not the first time Nicole has done your makeup though is it?
Ava: He's seen you in makeup and some kind of heel before. You're just adding a little more to it this time. He'll love it, promise.

Mitch: stopppppp ok his meeting should be done soon I just have to stop freaking out... I should get champagne right? that might help
Mitch: AVA i don't know what i'm doing
Mitch: what the fück do i do

Ava: maybe you need more than champagne to start...
Ava: you need some shots to calm those nerves dear

Mitch: fück I'm doing this wrong ...

Why am I suddenly having a complete meltdown!? This isn't meant to be about romance, it's about NOT romance. Let's be real ... this is about sex. Plain and simple. I need Scott to want me so I can shut him up and tire his giant ɑss out. I need to blow his fücking mind (and also him.) That's what this is about. 

Ava: NO
Ava: you could literally be in your pjs and have Chinese food and he'd thank you.
Ava: Which by the way sounds really good right now. Where's my boyfriend when I need him.

Mitch: i need to just be ... me and not worry and just ...follow his reaction i guess
Mitch: you can send me more pics of your boyfriend i like looking at him please and thank you :-p
Mitch: i'm awful at this ava save me

Ava: listen bitch. You have your own hot boyfriend.

Mitch: don't i know it - so does Logan ever get tired of seeing you sleep in a shirt with someone else's face on the front? don't think I didn't see that tour tee you were wearing to sleep in while in Europe girl

Ava: Logan knows that Scott is the exception. Plus he's nice to look at. He's lucky, he got to wake up to two beautiful faces that day 😉

Mitch: the two most beautiful people in the world <3
Mitch: ok i ordered champagne ... the girls are gone ... i'm all alone and shit he's going to hate it ... why do i panic like this?
Mitch: I hate itttttt

Ava: and HUSH. I love you.
Ava: I'm going to fly there and slap you.
Ava: He's gonna be so surprised and you better watch out because he might ask you to dress up again.

Mitch: i don't know if i can wiggle this ass into these pants more than once
Mitch: they may have to be cut off

Ava: What ɑss

My mouth literally drops open, I can feel it. Drag me 

This bitch... 

Alright, I can't even be mad. She's right. I know I have a skinny boy ass.. but not today. Today is different.

Mitch: bitch dont come for me

These pants and these heels are literal magic and I'm about to show her just how much. I take a side pic in the mirror and send it to her. What's an ɑss pic between friends?

Ava: Honey, work it!
Ava: How are your legs so perfect? And yes, you found your ass, congratulations.

Mitch: As long as Scott can find it, we're good.

Ava: I mean you might as well not be wearing anything if you're so desperate. Those pants are stalling the process. Just be naked on the bed.

Mitch: i've done that before ...but i mean nothing is going to top the fücking apron he killed me with ...so congrats to him for that

Ava: ah yes, the apron. Him and Logan need to start talking about things.
Ava: share some ideas.

Mitch: champagne is herrreeee and he texted me his meeting is ending now... uber takes like 10 minutes ish ok i have to make a decision like now

Ava: Basically just wait at the door with two glasses of champagne and get ready to strip.

Mitch: i think I can do that
Mitch: pray for me
Mitch: or y'know whatever the gods like...
Mitch: sacrifice a goat or something

Ava: Jesus is not helping you tonight sweetheart
Ava: But you'll be in my thoughts, for sure.

Mitch: thanks babe love you

Ava: love you back! I want a full report tomorrow bitch.

Mitch: if I can move then sure :)

Ok... now breathe.

I got this.

I put the champagne on ice and check myself in the mirror about 100 times.  Fück my heart is racing. I'm acting like this is my first time or something. Ok.  I go to the bedroom and pace a bit as time crawls by but when I hear the suite door open I feel like it's too soon.

Too late now. If he hates it we can laugh about it until I cry and then move on. Ok. 

"Mitchy, I come bearing gifts!"

Of course he did. I hear him tossing something down on the counter as I walk out of the bedroom and when he turns to look at me I wish I had a camera to capture the reaction. 

A paper bag slips from his hands and hits the floor as he just stands there staring. 

I dip my chin a little, moving closer... slowly (stilettos are hard, girl) 

I can tell by looking at him that I've already accomplished my goal. The look in his eyes chases away every doubt and that confidence slowly builds its way back up.

Now, it's showtime.