•Chapter fifty one•

Then what exactly are you doing? 

"I left after knowing about him," Namjoon started. "I heard he was someone who was experiencing the worst pain anyone could imagine, of losing a mate you had completely given yourself to." 

Taehyung had a nervous look on his face as he looked at Namjoon, waiting until he said everything he has to. 

It was nerve-wracking. 

"Unlike you, he had himself agreed to the imprinting just so he could make sure that his parents wouldn't separate him from the person he loves. He was a beta; his chances of becoming the king were difficult, but it was a given that his elder alpha brother was going to rule. That's why, when his brother killed himself for a reason none other than Jin knows, everyone pressurized him to become the king." 

Namjoon glanced at Taehyung, patting his hair softly. "Can you guess what happened when Jin disagreed?" 

"Did his parents...do something to the person he loves?" Taehyung asked, face turning pale. 

Namjoon smiled, but it was clear that he held no happiness within himself. 

"Everyone expects the person who has everything to lose something too. Out of spite, the commoners always expect the royals to give up their everything for them. Why should the royals enjoy it? They have all the wealth they want, have the warmest rooms and softest bed; why can they not handle having their loved ones die before them?" 

Taehyung hissed at his words, closing his eyes shut tightly. "They did what?" he seethed. "Did they--" 

"They demanded Jin's mate to be hanged before the public after being lashed like the ones who have sinned the most are punished. Jin's mate's crime as they mentioned was to manipulate a royal into forgetting about their priority and swaying Jin from his responsibilities." 

Taehyung's heart squeezed on hearing those words. He wished strongly that it hadn't happened. even when his hyung just said that he liked Jin, he hoped that Jin hadn't had to go through such a horrendous thing. 

But it was obvious it happened. 

Nothing could've stopped it. 

If there was no Hoseok to Jimin, Jimin would've suffered so much more than anyone can imagine. The fear he felt on thinking about his future when he knew that the bastard king wanted him would've been unimaginable too. 

The vexation and fear Jin felt was something Taehyung never wanted t experience. 

"Jin's parents sided with the commoners. They ruthlessly did just as they wished and forced Jin to be a king. I heard from someone that they had made the palace guards drag Jin from his room where he was crying--just the evening when they hung his lover dead--to the throne and he was forced to sit there while they all said stuff about..." 

"His dead lover?" Taehyung scoffed painfully. "How could they do all that?" 

"From what I know, they had actually told him stuff to pacify him by telling him that he could find other people and that the world hadn't come to an end. bt while you're in such a state that you're blaming yourself for everything that happened and the imprinting bond is killing you from within, you cannot be convinced that things were done for making things better." 

"It wasn't done to make anything good!" Taehyung deadpanned. "They killed a person from within by doing whatever they did. They don't have a right to do what they do." 

"Well," Namjoon shrugged. "they regretted having done that only after they did all the loss they could. Jin became the king, and he is a perfect king to them. He does everything for their safety and their happiness even if they took all of this. This does the job of making the people guilty." 

"What use is it of?" Taehyung was just so angry that all of that happened. "What is the point of that worthless guilt they feel after murdering someone who deserved to live a happy life with their mate?" 

Namjoon kept quiet. 

He didn't have a right to feel this way, but it hurt to think about how Jin did deserve to live a life with that man who was killed. 

Jin wasn't his anyway. These feelings that he suddenly developed weren't meant to be there. 

"Hyung," Taehyung grabbed his attention again. "You told me about King Jin, but you didn't tell me what you had done after going there. Did you make his pain less? did he move on from him--" 

"There is no moving on for him, Tae," Namjoon looked into his eyes lifelessly. "There is no moving on for a man who is imprinted because if he does move on and his heart regrets his decision of moving on, he will die." 

Taehyung's fall fell more. 

So things were still stuck in the past then? Had Jin not felt any relief yet? Was he still suffering? 

"I went there to find my own happiness selfishly by wanting to see others' pain, thinking that when I see someone suffering more than me, I will instantly find the happiness that I should be feeling. But I brought more pain, Tae... I brought more pain on myself." 

"Hyung..." 

"I went there and trained for a few years before I was sent to the royal palace as a full-time guard because I excelled in training and the trainers thought I am responsible. From the palace gate guard, I became Jin's personal guard. I stood outside his room the whole night and heard his heartbeat which never calmed down because he didn't sleep. If he slept, he woke up after a nightmare." 

"A person in pain requires someone to help him, hyung," Taehyung looked at him with sad eyes. "Please tell me you didn't just stand outside and let him suffer." 

Namjoon shrugged, twirling the twig he had just picked up from the ground between his fingers. He looked up at the clear sky, trying to remember all those emotions he had himself felt. 

"I went in one day," Namjoon noticed how Taehyung's eyes lit up. "I don't know what had come of me that I fell on my knees before him and begged him to just let someone help him, told him that I couldn't see him in the state he is in." 

"And?" Taehyung grew impatient. "Did he understand what you're trying to say?" 

"I don't know, Tae," Namjoon let out a deep sigh. "He looked at me in the same way a king looks at anyone who speaks to them. It looked like... he had killed himself to be the king they wanted him to be. He kept looking at me, and I wordlessly understood that he was already dead. The man I was asking to seek help was already dead, so what use would any help be off?"

"No, he's not dead. He's just suffering; he's not dead! You cannot give up on him just like that!" 

"I haven't given up, Tae." The smile on Taehyung's face hurt the omega so bad. It reflected how much the alpha himself had bottled up so many things inside that he had to put on this fake smile to tell himself that he should keep going. 

It hurt. 

"I've stayed with him for so long now... almost a decade. He has this wall around him that I can never break." 

"Then I will speak to him," Taehyung was determined. "I'm imprinted too, hyung. I know that I won't be able to survive if anything happens to Jungkook. But if I cannot kill myself after my mate's death, then I will not let myself remain in this bond too. As much as it hurts me to even think of it now, I know I will let myself love someone else after my mate leaves my side." 

"It's easy to say..." Namjoon said. "It's only easy to say it now because you have an assurance that these thoughts about your mate being dead are just imaginary. You know that now if you get up to search for your mate, you'll find him. It's different when you search everywhere for him and don't find him." 

"Please..." Taehyung's eyes were filled with tears by now. "It hurts, hyung. I can't see someone living like that. You have to do something--" 

"I'll be by his side for the rest of my life, Tae." Namjoon swiped his thumb across his cheeks to wipe the tears away. 

"He has never spoken to me about himself even when I'm around him most of the time. He never let me express myself whenever I wished to. If I gather a lot of courage and walk up to him to advise him to move on, he just looks at me like he was dead the moment his mate died, but I'll stay by his side until he actually dies so when his soul leaves his body, he'll see me holding his body and crying and feel happy that he wasn't the only one who was suffering in this cruel world." 

"What good would it do to him to see you suffer? If anything, I'm sure a sane human would never feel happy seeing someone else suffer. I'm sure things will be better if you spend your life here as his lover, hyung." 

Taehyung couldn't stand that Namjoon had given up hope. 

He couldn't stand that Namjoon had concluded that Jin wanted to see him suffer. 

Everyone deserves love. Everyone deserves to fight their battle along with their loved ones. why would Jin and Namjoon have to fight their battles alone? 

Namjoon could see how dissatisfied Taehyung is, so he grabbed his hand and said, "This is the least I can do, baby. If Jin does move on, I'll be the one who'll give him happiness, and I'll be the one who is the happiest in the world." 

"You cannot just hope for it," Taehyung says while wiping his tears away. "I won't let you just hope and do anything for making things better." 

Namjoon just looked at him with fondness and rubbed his head, knowing that his naive brother was blindly believing that they would end up together. 

"For now, go inside and rest, hyung. I'm not letting you leave already. I'll go speak to King Jin as a queen and request him to stay, but if he doesn't then let him go back first and you leave after a few days." 

"Tae--" 

"I didn't say I was asking for an opinion." 

His innocence made Namjoon laugh. The alpha got up and rubbed his hair before nodding, letting Taehyung do just as he wished. 

For the few days he stays here, he would wish to spend time with his brothers. If Jin would stay, it would just be better for him because he wanted Jin to feel the warmth of the family. 

He made his way inside and headed straight to Youngmi's room, not to fight with her for letting his youngest brother suffer. He couldn't demand her to do something she wasn't responsible for, and after living with a king for so long he knew that emotions aren't the thing that drives a royal to make their decision. 

The fact that she did so much for them was enough. If she did have feelings for him and his brothers, she will feel the guilt she needs to feel after what she did to him. 

*-*-*-*

"King SeokJin." 

Jin stopped walking forward, and the guards behind him stopped too. He had just been in the closest village of Atlas waiting for his personal guard to be back so they could leave. 

It was late now. The sun had almost set. 

When Jin turned around, the first thing Taehyung noticed was the strong stance and the never crumbling cold and strong aura that he had. though he didn't have much experience himself, he knew that Jin was the perfect representation of what a person considers "royal". 

Just how much did he train himself to be like this... 

Does he even like this side of him at all? Oh, I forgot... this is the only side he has now. This is how he is now; his actual self is already dead. 

"I didn't get to introduce myself," Taehyung said, walking forward to stand before Jin when the beta didn't come to him. "I was overwhelmed after seeing my brother so I didn't greet you properly either." 

Jin didn't say anything cocky or rude as Taehyung expected him to, so he continued. 

"I'm the future queen of Atlas. King Jungkook is going to be my husband, and so I thought I had the right to come to invite you to stay at our palace for a while." 

"A normal blood cannot be royal." 

Well, Taehyung had expected to hear that when he came here, but he couldn't stand that it wasn't Jin who was questioning him but some guard. 

He had an answer decided when he was thinking about the conversation he was going to have with Jin, but he surely didn't want to give the same answer to the guard. 

"I'm sure you don't wish to question the decision of the king of the kingdom you're in presently," Taehyung said to the guard with a smile on his face. "I'm sure none of us would take it well." 

"Both are the same," the guard said back, slightly bothered by how Taehyung was speaking to him--with a proud face that all royals have--while they were of the same level. "Both brothers wish to lure royals and make them theirs to become a royal." 

"I don't think you know the power I hold to cut your tongue off for speaking like that," Taehyung said, still very much calm. "I'll let it slide because you're not knowledgeable enough." 

Taehyung was mildly surprised that Jin didn't speak in between all of this at all, neither yelling at his guard nor warning Taehyung to not speak the way he is. 

He just stood and stared at Taehyung with eyes that didn't shine, which weren't even as intimidating as it was before. 

The guard was about to say something back when Taehyung just turned back to Jin and began speaking before anyone else could, "I didn't hear an answer from you, King. I hadn't come here to waste my time." 

"I'll leave within a while now," Jin's voice was rough yet there was something in Taehyung that told him that this rough tone was deliberate, not real. 

"Are you going to just reject our invitation like that? Is it because you're looking down on me like your guards are? Or do you want to act like you don't care about what my brother feels by going away like this?" 

Basically, just nothing could ever startle Jin. Taehyung realized that now when Jin didn't show any drastic change in emotions even after being suddenly asked such a question. 

"I've left my kingdom unguarded and came here just because my guard requested that we first check the matter before just having a war after we found your spy in our kingdom. As you're the queen, I'll let you know that I won't tolerate these things again." 

He avoided it. He avoided giving a response to breaking Namjoon's heart. 

Taehyung just kept looking at him, hurt that the person who his hyung loves just called him a "guard". 

He didn't know what to do now. He hadn't planned anything more than this, so he just did whatever he can at that moment. 

"My brother had been working with you for so long; how can I be sure that he had been treated in the way he should? Like you have a right to come to fight us after finding a spy in your kingdom, we have a right to throw a war just because you mistreated--" 

"Being a guard was your brother's decision, your highness. If he has some complaints with the way we treat him, he has brought it upon himself." 

That's all. All the words died down deep within Taehyung's gut. Did I make things worse? Jin thinks Namjoon hyung was complaining about him now. Fuck. 

"I wasn't saying that he said you mistreated him. I was just saying that he has been away from you... wait, no. I mean  he has been away from me." What the fuck am I even doing? 

"We'll leave then," Jin didn't seem any more bothered than he was before. 

"W-wait," Taehyung was so glad that Jin was being patient with him at least. "We haven't handled the east gate well because you always closed the ways connecting the two places. It's dangerous for you to--" 

"We'll manage, your highness." Jin turned around, looking at the path in the dense forest. "Rogues can't win over us. I assure you your brother isn't coming with us now, so let him know that he needs to return fast or he can just stay here forever."

"Does your heart not hurt when you say that?" Taehyung asked, eyes turning sad. "After everything he did..." 

Jin's guards were watching Taehyung carefully, their eyes also turning soft when Taehyung turned around and walked away, the crunching sound his feet made when walking on the dead leaves being the only sound heard for a while. 

"He left," the guard who had been fighting with Taehyung earlier said, going to Jin. 

"Go ahead," Jin ordered the other guards there, pointing to the way. "Start making your way back in the chariot I brought. I'll be coming on my own with Byung-ho." 

Byung-ho instantly caught Jin's arm when the other guards left. "Are you really going back to our kingdom, hyung? You know you're lying to yourself when you say you'll manage without Namjoon--" 

"Are you trying to say that I won't be able to sleep without hearing his breathing and heartbeat?" Jin rolled his eyes. "I won't sleep then. It's alright." 

"You know it's more than that," Byung-ho deadpanned. "The only reason you're acting like a normal human right now is that he stays with you. Don't you remember how miserable you were before he came to you?" 

"I wanted him gone," Jin said, and it didn't feel like a lie. "I've just gotten used to his presence, so it eventually started comforting me. I need to live, so don't wish for me to be with him, Byungho-ah. I can't give him what he wants." 

"Why can't you?" Byung-ho asked, his face falling at the thought of Jin suffering again after while staying away from Namjoon. 

"I'm a king--" 

"You're not just a king, hyung!" The frustration was clear in the male's voice. "Why can't you just move on now? You can't get the one you love back, but you can hope for someone better!" 

Jin was still lifeless as he answered, "Will being stronger and bigger make him better than him? I wished that was how it was, Byung-ho. I wished I had never loved my mate wholeheartedly with his faults. At least then, I would have got this kid a chance." 

"You don't even call him by his name," Byung-ho scoffed. "You saw that omega's disappointment when he left from here? At least go for him." 

"You cannot fulfill every wish of a child," Jin stated. "I could tell from looking at him that he wanted to take me there just to do things to make his brother come closer to me. He's a child. He is all so proud of becoming a royal that he doesn't understand how much more being royal is than just a title. Am I supposed to keep his heart? He's not as unlucky as me, but none of us know when and whether things will go wrong for him. His heart is meant to break--" 

"Not every heart that loves is meant to break." 

Jin froze. He thought about those words for a second, knowing where it was hinting. Namjoon's heart isn't supposed to break either. 

"Come on, Byung-ho. Let's leave now. There's no meaning in all this talk." 

"Your highness?" Jin's heart dropped on hearing the voice. As much as he tried to restrict his conflicted and surprised face, he didn't manage to stop his eyes from turning a tiny bit warmer. 

"What are you doing here?" Jin asked, so happy that his voice didn't waver. "You were going to stay, weren't you?" 

"I'm a personal guard of you, king," Namjoon said, finally coming closer to them and taking a deep breath, having walked so fast that his legs hurt. "I can't let you leave without me. That's not what I'm getting paid for." 

"Your brother--" 

"Give me just a while. I'll go back to the palace and let them know that I'm leaving now. I couldn't meet my second brother because he had been out all this time, but I hope he is there now when I return. I'll quickly come after--" 

"I ordered you to stay," Jin got a bit angry. "Stop taking your own decisions, will you? Listen to what I'm saying and go back."

Jin turned around and left with quick steps. Byung-ho sighed deeply and followed Jin, leaving behind Namjoon who looked at their backs with sad and shocked eyes. 

He's never lost his cool before. He hasn't talked to me with that angry tone before.

Should I be considering this a good thing? 

x-x-x-x