•Chapter thirty three•

Not the child. 

"Your temperature is high," Jungkook stated, his actual worry all hidden--so well that it couldn't ever be made out--and only his bland voice heard to the girl who had his hands around her waist. 

After about nine months of living away from Taehyung, Jungkook had managed to hide his emotions and behave in an opposite way of what he was. 

He did everything he had to. 

He killed Daesong, took care of his lover's brothers, threw out all the ministers who could stab him on his back, showed everyone that they needed to respect Taehyung, and displayed his protectiveness over Taehyung by imprisoning those who said wrong things about them. 

By now, they all had a clue that he had some sort of connection with Taehyung. When his love is revealed, it wouldn't come out as a huge surprise to them which meant that their reaction wouldn't be too drastic. 

They all know now that Jungkook might take things against him but not against Taehyung. 

He made himself stronger and strengthened himself to get rid of all the problems he had. 

Even when Taehyung didn't see him as anything, Jungkook was so used to seeing the boy every day that it was torture to wake up without the excitement to see Taehyung. He struggled without the boy. 

But now the thing that mattered wasn't how much he suffered; it was about making everything turn out the way Taehyung and he wanted it to. 

He had no idea about what he needed to do though. 

He was clueless about what his next steps should be. 

Mira was going to give birth any time that month. Maybe the moment they are presently living or the next day or the next week... but what was he supposed to do? 

Mira had been very loyal to him. In the past months, she had been with him even when he pushed her away and treated her like she was nothing to him. She hadn't ever made an affair even when she was allowed to as he wasn't loyal to her, and he had concluded that she wasn't planning to leave after the child's birth too. 

The only hope he had was that she didn't come to him for any reason after he killed Daesong. 

Even when he wordlessly--uninvited--came into her room that night and lay beside her, she didn't react as happily as she would a few months ago. 

She was barely able to keep her eyes open. Her head was on Jungkook's forearm while Jungkook held her huge tummy like he always did when he was asked to come here. 

She probably accepted the fact that I come here for the child and not her, Jungkook thought. My child... it isn't even mine.   

He knew it wasn't his since long ago. It enraged him that she lied to him, but he didn't want to make her face the consequences of her actions before understanding what exactly was going on. 

What if Mira herself doesn't know that the child isn't his? What if... it was about some matter related to the abuse Daesong did to her. 

What if just like the way he had thrown her to him, he had made her do things with others forcefully? Thinking about this broke his heart, but it was quite possible. 

If it wasn't that, then it was the stupidity and immaturity of Mira that was the reason for all these things. She was still too young, just a child, and had just come out of a dark room before she put more chains around herself by making herself pregnant. 

He couldn't even be upset. 

She was a major reason for his distance from his lover, but she would surely suffer more than him after the child's birth. 

His problems would end as soon as the child is declared to not be his blood, but what about her? She would still have to take care of the baby. She would have to be a perfect mother, and in case she doesn't remember the person who impregnated her or that alpha doesn't want to take responsibility for the baby, she would be a single parent. 

And for an immature child like herself, it surely was heavily difficult. 

Nevertheless, Jungkook will take care of the child. 

He had grown a strong attachment to it even when he disliked Mira. He wouldn't let the child suffer in any way. He didn't desire to keep the child in pain due to his spit towards Mira. 

"Are you awake?" Jungkook asks softly. "Should I go call a doctor? The servants told me you're very sick and haven't eaten anything so I came to see you." 

"Me?" Mira whispered, opening her eyes momentarily. She slowly shifted her hand down to hold her stomach before turning away from Jungkook slightly. "Not me but the child, right? I am alright. You should go rest." 

If you cannot be with me, don't be with my child too. If I leave, I will not leave behind the only thing I'm left with, so it's better you don't feel anything for the baby. 

I'll kill myself if something happens to my child, Jungkook. And with the rage you killed my father, how should I be sure that you won't kill my baby after finding out it isn't your blood?  

"I'm not leaving unless I'm sure that the child is safe, Mira. Don't neglect such things when you're in the last month just because of some stupid anger or jealously--" 

"I don't think I will ever be jealous of my own child, Jungkook," Mira said strongly, her voice wet. Jungkook knew that he said something he shouldn't have just by the tone of hers. "Not for someone who let me writhe and suffer all alone for all these months."

"I-I didn't mean it that way..." Jungkook sounded apologetic. God, he shouldn't have said such a thing. It would upset him so much if someone thought of him as a monster who was jealous of their child for whatever the reason may be. 

Mira surely didn't love him more than her child. 

Even the words she said to Jungkook about him being there for the child were only for correcting him and not to show her enviousness. 

He looked into Mira's eyes with blank yet soft eyes which were enough for Mira to remember the time he first wrapped his arms around her. 

He had been so warm and sweet to her... 

He gave her everything, and she just took everything from him in return. 

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked away from the alpha who got more worried. "L-leave, your highness. Just consider whatever the servants told you about my health to be false news." 

"A-are you sure--" 

"I am." 

Jungkook stayed frozen for a while longer, looking at the back of her head with startled eyes before slowly getting off the bed and taking tiny steps towards the door. 

He stopped in his tracks when he heard her speak again. "For all that I have done to you, will I be forgiven if I disappear?" 

It was like she needed confirmation about something from his answer. She had something in her mind that she wasn't sure about, and she was indirectly trying to take his help by squeezing out answers from him. 

"By disappearing?" he asks, sighing. He didn't even what she was talking about. "If disappearing means you will let me and my family live a happy life and you live a happy one yourself, then yes, that is what I want." 

He waited a few moments in case she had something else to say. 

But she was done speaking. The conversation did end, but Mira didn't wish to make a conversation with him again. 

She couldn't be wrong about the stinging and squeezing sensation in her stomach. 

She wouldn't need to talk to Jungkook after this again. 

*-*-*-*

"Your highness!"

Jungkook jerked awake from his sleep, body instantly reacting to the desperate call as he strode to the door with wide eyes and a harshly beating heart.

"What's wrong?" He asked the servant, eyes looking around to see if anything was wrong there. He looked back at her after studying the empty corridor, glad that there wasn't possibly a sudden attack on the kingdom.

It was calm and quiet all around, like always. Nothing seemed to be wrong.

Jungkook was forced to think otherwise when he heard quick footsteps before Youngmi appeared in the corner of the corridor too.

"What's going on?" Jungkook asks the servant again, getting impatient now as he watched his mom make her way to him. "Did something wrong happen?"

"Your highness, queen Mira..."

Jungkook's heart sank on hearing that. He clenched his hands into a fist, his eyes turning colder. "What happened to her?"

"She ran away!" Youngmi cried as she reached him, grabbing Jungkook's arm and pulling him closer. "She vanished from the palace!"

"Explain, mom!" Jungkook didn't grasp the situation. "Please stop yelling and tell me what the matter is."

"Queen Mira isn't in her room or anywhere around. She left the place last night, and by what the few people who saw her said, she seemed to be very distressed. She ordered them to not bother her or tell anything to you, but we managed to make them say whatever they knew."

Jungkook couldn't believe what he was hearing. He pushed aside the people standing before him and walked to see for himself whether the things told were right or not.

And it was right.

Mira wasn't in her room. A few of her things lay on the ground, scattered around. The room smelled of her, but it was clear that she hadn't been here for a while. 

"She left?" Jungkook was so shocked that he couldn't think straight. 

"She did, son!" Youngmi whimpered. "The child... Jungkook, was the child yours or not? It doesn't matter if the child isn't yours! It's better that she's gone, but she cannot keep the heir away from us--"

"You're so selfish!" Jungkook yelled, holding his head with his hands in frustration. "The child and she needs to be in good health irrespective of what we want, mom! I dislike her but not to the point that I'll be happy that she ran away while being in such a state!"

And though it made it sound like he was dumb for being a person who forgives others' mistakes so quickly, he didn't care.

He will punish Mira but not in such an inhuman way.

What had he done...

Was it because of how desperate he made her that she ran away like this? Last night when she asked him if he wanted her to disappear, he didn't know it was something as serious as this.

He ordered his guards to go search for her with the only hope being that she couldn't have gone too far in her state.

He didn't expect things to turn out the way they did.

When he said that he wanted to show her the reality and make her realize that he loves only Taehyung, he didn't mean he wanted to stoop as low as Mira did to achieve things she wanted.

He didn't want to do anything wrong to her even if she has wronged him.

God, if something happened to her now, he will regret it his whole life.

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