•Chapter twenty two•

Ill.

Taehyung gagged, hands twitching to a fist, clenching on his shirt as he squinted his eyes close in disgust before scooting closer to the bowl in front of him.

He threw up everything he had eaten since yesterday night, and his entire chest and throat burnt.

He was trying to inhale and exhale calmly and try not to think about the only possibility or the outcome of this situation.

He was a general doctor. He knew exactly what it is.

He let pained tears slide down his cheeks, holding his hurting tummy. How did this happen? He had made sure to take medicine that day... How could he make this mistake? 

God, he should have known. Jungkook's knot was too strong for its effects to be erased by just some medicine. Yet, he had taken a proper dose of it and had made all efforts needed to ensure safety. 

It wasn't possible until the herbs he bought wasn't right or didn't have any poisonous effect in their leaves in them. 

He pulled away from the bowl once he thought he was done emptying his stomach, staying right there so he doesn't have to come back here in case he felt like throwing up again.

His lids drooped in exhaustion. He could only let out soft sighs and gasps when his throat clogged shut and refused to let in air and making his chest burn, almost like trying to make him suffer for this things he was doing.

He tried. 

He tried to stop this from happening. 

It would fucking be miserable if the baby is born. He wouldn't be able to just let  go off his baby and hand it over to a devil like Mira. 

How could this happen? 

Not until he felt a familiar sting in his eyes and the wetness near his jaw did he know that he was crying again.

He wondered if there could be other outcomes of the symptoms he was experiencing. 

There was no point of being in denial. there was no other way to end the all this other than killing the child after its birth. 

Taehyung could never in his life do such a thing. He could stain his hands with own blood, not his pup's. 

There was just no way out of this.

Absolutely nothing could be done except going along with the flow now, or going away and telling Jungkook about everything. 

That would be good. He could go ahead and put an end to all of Mira's delusions by telling Jungkook what happened and what she wants from him. 

He couldn't yet understand how this happened. 

A sudden memory of Mira's hands dripping with some liquid holding the herbs came to his mind. He gasped. 

It's her. Taehyung growled at the thought. She is the who fucking caused this. 

I'll show her fucking place. That bitch... I'm not letting her force Jungkook into loving her. I'll tell Jungkook about it and see what she does next. 

Jungkook will hate her. 

And... maybe... maybe he can tell me what I'm supposed to do next. 

He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, still feeling all sick because of the piercing pain of throwing up all the way down to his foodpipe and stomach. He could even feel his head spin and not become any better even when he widened his eyes and focused on a certain spot to make his eyesight clear.

He forced himself to stand after he was finally feeling like he wouldn't throw up. The morning sickness was just too much; he had spent only two days like this but that day was the worst.

Jungkook was back to barely having any time to spend with him. 

Taehyung felt like someone was choking his throat. He felt so suffocated because...

It wasn't difficult to love a beautiful girl who looked so pretty and was willing to give her entire life for Jungkook. Jungkook just needed to be shown a glimpse of the happiness he could get by being with her, and he might leave. 

This made Taehyung feel scared. 

What if Mira did succeed in her plan and made Jungkook hers? 

Taehyung had lost all will to have the bond break, but what if Jungkook starts seeing the bond as a painful thing after a while?

What if he just begs for freedom and tells Taehyung that he cannot love him for any longer? 

Mira was pregnant with his child. No father would ever feel love blossom the the mom of his child. 

But... what about him? 

Jungkook was the only one thinking about him or trying to help him out with the problems, and if he left... 

Taehyung couldn't imagine what might come of him. 

He walked to the giant mirror, and looked at himself for a second.

"A baby..." He sighed and held the hem of his shirt before slowly lifting it up to observe his flat stomach, no change in him at all for now. "A baby will be in me."

He couldn't help the small smile on his face, his wolf also being at peace. He knew his wolf was calm and happy and hadn't pounced on Mira yet just because he was going to hold his alpha's pup.

However, if he went according to Mira, the child wouldn't be his. 

He didn't want to think about that now as he let the soft feelings of warmth and comfort spread in him like the rose petals blossoming at dawn while spreading its petals softly, slowly.

He loved this feeling even though he hated the situation.

He knew he will have the comfort and love of the child.

His child. 

He will be the mother of the child, no matter what comes in his way. 

The child will have to be born, and as much as Taehyung wanted to curse himself for being an omega and having to hold pups, he was happy to feel this warmth in his chest as he wrapped his hands around his waist, trying to hold the puppy. 

His and Jungkook's child. 

He caressed the tummy gently, lovingly and raised his hand to blow a kiss to the reflection of his belly. He giggled because he knew he was acting like a fool now.

He flinched suddenly when the door barged open. Snapping his head around, he frowned before fuming in anger when he sees Mira.

He did the first thing that came to his mind. 

He stomped his way to her and slapped her, hard and tight. "Bitch!"

She gasped, pushing him away before he could grab her hair that was just set properly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She yelled, pushing him away when he tried to grab her again. "Have you lost my mind?"

"I'll kill you today!" He yelled, grabbing her nape and pulling her close before growling at her face. "How dare you fucking think you can do as you wish?! Did you think you'd get away by that pathetic deed of yours without me killing you?"

She took a while to process his words. Her ears hurt by all his yelling and by the impact of the slap.

She gasped when she understood what she had done the previous day.

Now, she had to initiate the next task of threatening.

Before she could say a word, Taehyung scrunched his face, groaning as he ran back to the bathroom with his hands pressed to his mouth. Mira looked at him with wide, shocked eyes before breaking out in a bright smile. 

So he just didn't know about it but is had already happened?

God, she was so happy. She could finally get to the point of being the receiving end of affection now.

She jumped gleefully as she ran inside and found Taehyung throwing up, sniffling after finishing his work. 

"Oppa!" she cheered. "Is it happening? Are you pregnant?! Is there my baby in you now?" 

Taehyung ignored her yells, too tired and sick to even care for her overexcited yells and cheers. He pushed her away from the entrance of the bathroom and exited, wiping his mouth and eating up the petals of a rose on the table to remove the disgusting smell from his mouth.

"Is it true?" 

There was no escape from the girl. 

"Yes, it is!" Taehyung yelled, holding her hair and growling menacingly. "I'm pregnant, but don't fucking think that I'll do as you wish! How could you do this?! When will you understand that forcing things on people after having being said a no is wrong?"

"Why did my father hit me even when I told him I don't like it?"

Taehyung exhaled deeply. "Is all you want now is to be like your pathetic father?"

He saw her eyes droop, lips puckering out. He knew she just wasn't understanding what she was doing wrong.

And it was his duty to tell her where she is wrong.

"It's not good to just think of yourself now, Mira. Not when all of us want you to be happy. Why are you making all of us suffer in return of giving you happiness and helping you."

She shook her head. "If you do wish for my happiness then why don't you just let me have Jungkook."

Well, it was up to her to take his words or not, and she didn't take it in the right way.

All she was doing was proving her actions right, not seeing how wrong she is.

"People will only hate you if you see people like objects you can trade and give, child. Jungkook is not a thing I can give you. You think it's wrong for me to tell you to stop loving Jungkook, and it's just as wrong as for you to do things like this to him."

"Do you love him?" Was all se asked. "Is that why you don't want to help me out willingly?"

"I don't want to fucking tell my reasons to you! You're such a dumb person that it's so pointless to even talk to you about this anymore."

Mira held his hand and forced him to stay right where he was. "Just answer my question."

She suddenly didn't seem like the sweet and innocent girl. It looked like she was deliberately doing these things even after knowing that it's wrong.

It made him see her in a light.

Like... Like she knows everything is wrong but was still doing it selfishly, different from his opinion from earlier when he thought that she was just immature to know what's wrong.

It scared him.

She looked like someone who can just destruct everything to get what she wants.

The few moments of suffocating silence he spent there, looking at her challenging and dangerous eyes, made him much more conscious and afraid of her.

He tied to pull his wrist away from her hold.

She just held him tighter. "Don't make me just conclude that you love him by this silence, Taehyung."

"T-that doesn't matter," Taehyung managed to croak out.

God, he hadn't known this omega could be this strong and threatening to trap people in a trance and make them do as she wished for them to.

He could understand why a strong alpha like Jungkook just let her use him that night.

He discovered that she wasn't just someone who was happy to hold the palm of a person and be satisfied. She would grab their arm and hold them until they died of suffocation.

Taehyung almost whimpered when she held him more tightly.

"Stay away," she said, voice low and demanding. "Know your limits."

"I'm telling Jungkook about the child," Taehyung said, not caring of the consequences anymore. She was pushing him to insanity by thinking he will do nothing to stop her.

"I'm telling him everything I know."

"Go ahead." She smirked, just the way her father always did. She knows that only the ones who hurt have more power. She'll be like him so no one hurts her.

Taehyung took shaky steps back, afraid as she wasn't trying to stop him now. He turned around to go to Jungkook right away.

"Kim Namjoon. Jung Yoongi."

Taehyung's entire body was suddenly frozen. He couldn't move a single muscle. His heart stopped, dropped, and drummed harshly against his ribs when he took a strangled breath.

So this is what she's going to do?

"What?" He asks, managing to not stutter.  He turned around, facing her, glaring at her. "What did you say?"

He was barely managing to not fall on his knees and beg her to not to anything to them already. She knew well what and who mattered to her.

"I took your brothers' name. Your eldest in Jin's kingdom and the other in a decided forest where no one else lives in, both not in safe situations."

"What do you mean by telling at this to me?" His voice cracked. No, he couldn't let anything happen to them. He'd die if anything, just anything happened to his hyungs, leave aside it happening because of him.

"Nothing much." She chuckled. "I know that they're your only family, both miserably in love with people who they already mated. They've given huge sacrifices for love, Taehyung."

"Why are you telling me all this."

"Just wait here for a second and listen to me quietly," she ordered, leaving the room. Taehyung was frozen still, not moving, not able to think of anything that could make sense.

She poses a threat to them. Both of his hyungs were no royals to stand and fight against her. She could kill both of them at a snap of her fingers.

No, no. She can't do that.

She just cannot do these things to the person who thought of her as a you get sister. What had he done to her for her to try and take away the biggest reason of his living?

She came back in a minute, ending the deafening silence as she fumbled with the two huge portraits in her hand. She came to him, grinned at him, and held the things close to her chest.

"I have a gift for you, oppa. See, I really do care for your happiness too, so I'm giving you the things you are surely desperate to see."

Taehyung snatched the portraits before she could give it to him. She laughed at his desperation.

Taehyung's chest heaved up and down as he let out vulnerable sounds, whimpers and cries, as he sank to his knees and carefully looked at the portraits of his hyung.

He recognised Yoongi way too well. He was sitting in between Hoseok and Jimin as they did some digging on the ground with plants on their side. Yoongi looked happy, and just that made Taehyung shed tears of joy.

"Yoongi hyung," he whispered, kissing the picture of his elder brother.

He placed the first portrait down and picked the other, having only a unclear image of how his eldest brother looked as he had seen him last when he was around ten years old.

He nearly gasped at how huge Namjoon looked in the portrait. This was of a scene from the courtroom, with Jin on the throne and Namjoon by his side, standing all tall and strong. He was looked huger than Jungkook too, and it made Taehyung so proud.

"Namjoon hyung," he was unfamiliar with calling him, yet it brought back memories of the time he used to fall asleep on Namjoon's chest which was wide enough to not let Taehyung slide away.

Heavens, he missed them. So much that he was just sobbing and hugging them close to his chest.

Mira watched, smiling genuinely as she was gleeful to make Taehyung reunite with his hyung's partially.

But she remembered her actual reason for making her servants send these portraits in the first place. She mentally shook herself to show herself the reality.

She wasn't supposed to be smiling right now. Putting on a fake smirk, she muttered, "you care for them, don't you? I suggest you do something to save them too, and you must've understood that I'm not lying about knowing them because these portraits I have you are of your brothers."

Taehyung whimpered, ignoring her words and voice as he continued to cuddle the huge sized canvas close to his heart.

"I'm the queen, Taehyung. I have enough authority to make your brothers, who aren't anything more than kids of servants, die. They've done so much for you; shouldn't you take care of them too!"

"You're ruthless!" Taehyung yelled, is pained face and features srcunched into hatred made her heart shatter. "You didn't ever deserve what you got,  Mira! I hate you so much!"

She was heavily hurt by hearing those words. She felt sad for making Taehyung so hurt, but it wouldn't remain like that.

She doesn't want to be Taehyung's enemy. She just needed help from her brother, and no sister out a sword on their brother's neck and threaten them to do things, but she's forced to be like this.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I can't help it. If you do say anyone about this, I'll go mad because that will be my end. I don't like doing this, but I'll kill both your brothers and Jungkook too if he finds about these things because I'm not letting him leave me to rot somewhere and move on after ending our relationship." 

"You're sick!" Taehyung cried, holding his stomach. "I'm letting you take my baby away from me!" 

"You'll have to chose between living and that child then. Either kill yourself or give me that child and leave this palace forever. Your hyungs and Jungkook will suffer if you do anything other than the options I gave." 

Taehyung kept quiet, looking at with weary eyes as she got to her knees and extended her hands out to touch his stomach. He growled, shielding him stomach. 

She was capable of doing anything. 

"I wouldn't hurt my child, oppa," she said, pushing his hands away and glaring at him. "I wouldn't hurt you too because you do matter to me even if it doesn't seem like that. 

"It's my child," Mira said authoritatively, almost like trying to tell him to not forget the reality. "I can touch it whenever I want." 

"You worthless--" Taehyung took a deep breath to calm his inner raging heart which grew dejected after hearing her repeat that the child isn't his. He still couldn't curse at her. 

She was making him chose between two people of his own blood, between his brother and his child. Well, he wasn't with his brothers but he still had his child with him, and he will protect it. 

He was a fool if he just gave her what she wants. No. Never. 

Holding back mean words, he said something which shut her mouth,

"It's still in my body, and I don't remember telling you that you can touch this child unless it's out. Keep your hands to yourself or you'll be raping people again" 

He held her elbow and pulled her back to her feet before guiding her outside and pushing her out wordlessly. She was fuming in anger on being called a rapist. 

He sighed deeply once she was gone, storming her way away. 

He was in too deep. 

It wasn't wrong to save her from her father, but it was way too wrong to let her have things her way since the beginning. 

*-*-*-*

Taehyung held his sweater and hugged himself more, not for warmth but for comfort. He wanted to be embraced and comforted but had no one to give him these things.

He was distressed, tired, and kept wondering what was right and what was wrong.

He was helpless. 

But he wasn't dumb to let everything be decided by the faith. 

He sent a letter to Yoongi today, asking him to be specifically careful of things and people around them and stay safe. He tried not to make things seem suspicious and acted to be just worried about him. 

He was desperate. He went up to Youngmi to talk to her, and she did tell a few things about queens misusing their powers and how they could be in deep trouble in doing so. 

However, it was really difficult to dig dirt against a queen because people tend to love them and suppress all wrong deeds of theirs unless its just unavoidable. The king also stands by her side and helps her out through all allegations against her. 

If the king doesn't, he would be dubbed as a bad and incompetent husband. 

She had teasingly asked him if he was planning against Mira, not knowing anything about what she was doing or what any of them were facing. 

He couldn't tell her anything because she had just told him that no one would support the person who wants to go against the queen.  

His mind was out of place. He felt so guilty...

Guilty to Jungkook. To cause pain to him without wanting to.

The child he will hold will be Jungkook's too, and it was so heartbreaking to be doing this to a father. 

He didn't have parents. He wished he did. 

Now, his baby will also have a life more or less like his own, where his "mother" will have much more matters to attend than tending to his needs of love. 

He was here now, holding his tummy, shedding tears of uncertainty and pain, guilt for his innocent baby which wasn't even properly formed yet.

He knew his future was dark, for even if he left Mira to be with Jungkook and his child, he'd end up killing himself internally by staying away from his family which consisted of Jungkook, his child and his guardian. 

He had deep affectionate bonds with them.

If he came back to let them all know what Mira did with him, it would just remain a empty allegation which no one would support. 

Jungkook could surely help. 

But he couldn't even go to him because he showed proper alpha behavior of recklessness when angry. 

Well, they were stuck in this situation just because one of his angry decisions. 

Taehyung let a soft sob ripple into the silent atmosphere, cuddling more into his sheets and hugging his knees. He was alone in his room, and it only made his loneliness more.

It all weighed down on him.

For the next nine months, he will hold the child of the alpha he's starting to feel addicted to but not be able to have his alpha by his side to hold and console him through the months. 

How... How will he survive the sadness?

What if... What if Jungkook did start loving Mira towards the end and moves on? 

He patted his chest and stomach to try and calm himself down.

"I'm sorry," he said to feel less guilt but only felt more pain because his actions dawned on him that he has a baby in him now. "I-- I hope you will be happy with your family at least, if I won't be able to do anything to be with you. I won't give up, puppy. I'll do everything, b-but if I don't succeed, remember that your mom loved you."

What will happen if the bond did break? 

Taehyung would go and beg his hyung to accept his dumb and useless brother to his house, and if Yoongi's mate don't allow him to live with him, he'd beg them to at least let him work there as a servant or whatever.

With the handful of people who love him, he needs to be happy.

And... Maybe years later... He could come back to this palace to see his child once. Just once. There would be no point of fighting if Jungkook had already moved on. 

And he would let the truth settle in his heart by letting him open his eyes and see how happy Jungkook and Mira is with his pup. 

Honestly, all he wanted to do now was cry and cry until he was left with no tears.

He didn't want to let the future to be the way he thinks it is. 

He promised to fight until death for his baby. 

*-*-*-*

Taehyung poked his tongue on the inners of his cheeks as he tried to not to gag at the suddenly disgusting smell of japchae. He couldn't swallow even a little bit of the food as the intensity of the smell was making his head spin. 

He, however, didn't complain about feeling like this because he secretly loved it as it reminded him that he is pregnant. 

It made him all fuzzy and happy. He was happy that he had a baby and tried to bury the thoughts of future that haunts him. 

But this disgust towards food didn't erase his need to throw up. 

He looked up and only felt more crestfallen because the king and the queen caught his eyes. 

In the past days, he had ignored Jungkook but only caused himself pain by it. Even now, he could see how Jungkook kept trying to get Mira's hands away from his arms while taking small glances at him. 

it hurt to punish the alpha by keeping him away, but he wouldn't be able to stop crying if Jungkook did come to him. 

When their eyes met, Taehyung could see pure desperate feelings of guilt and longing in them. It rendered him heartbroken as it dawned on him that he was hurting Jungkook too much.

He felt so much sorrow just by looking at him. 

He bit his bottom lip and looked away. 

"Mom," he called, and Youngmi instantly looked at him with concern. "I don't feel well. I'm going to go back to my room." 

"Eat a little--" 

He shook his head, denying her, as he forced his legs to straighten. His legs were wobbly, and it didn't go unnoticed by Mira or Jungkook. 

Jungkook found himself pushing Mira away as he got up, completely disregarding her as he took soft steps towards Taehyung to hold him. 

However, being the stubborn person Taehyung is, he shook his head at Jungkook and turned around to walk away. 

Taehyung hissed, holding his head when there was no possible way he could walk anymore with his legs a dot away from giving up and vision completely black.

Jungkook's reaction came quickly. He held Taehyung's shoulder and steadied him. "Just..." he whispered. "At least let me guide you to the room. Y-you look too ill." 

Taehyung didn't have the power to say no. Jungkook's touch was providing him whatever the hell he needed at that moment, including love, comfort, meaning and sweetness. 

He leaned his side on Jungkook whose heart rose in flames of satisfaction as he slowly wrapped his arm around his waist, gently, like he could break Taehyung any time if he applied a bit more pressure. 

With great love, he held Taehyung's hand and guided him along, taking slow and small steps so Taehyung could keep up with him. 

The ministers were already rolling their eyes in annoyance so it wasn't safe for him to just carry Taehyung here. Youngmi looked at Mira carefully and was glad to find the girl only looking at Taehyung with worry and not burning in jealously. 

Why was she not reacting to this? 

She still loved Taehyung so couldn't feel mad at him or get jealous. She would only ever have a problem with him if he developed feelings for Mira. 

Jungkook opened Taehyung's room's door and walked in slowly before gently carrying him and taking him to the bed. 

Taehyung was almost half-asleep in his arms as he was trying to place him on the bed. 

Something about Taehyung felt weird. He couldn't point out to what was weird as it was something very small that was odd. 

Trying to not enter Taehyung's personal space, he was about to get out of the bed and walk to some doctor and ask them to help Taehyung out, but the tired omega held him back. 

Taehyung whimpered as he parted his lids slightly just to see Jungkook's face. He held the alpha's palm and guided it to his tummy, placing it there. 

Jungkook was trying to calm his heart as he stares at Taehyung who closed his eyes again and fell asleep. 

Jungkook unconsciously rubbed his stomach as he stared at his peaceful face. 

You're so near, yet so far, love. So close but farther than someone living miles away. 

It was getting better. You started trusting me and started smiling your beautiful smile at me. I loved the way your eyes shone when I came to you and talked to you. 

Why is it all changing again? I knew it... I knew you will hate me for that night when I made love to you. You're thinking that I used you, right? 

I want to make things better, but it ends up worse. 

i want to complain to you. I want to tell you that it hurts to be away, but I keep quiet because I don't want to cause you any pain.

You'll never accept me again, will you? 

I don't want to live if it isn't for waking up to see your face or sleeping while thinking about you, but I can't end it too because my hopes hold me back. 

"I love you..." Taehyung snuggled closer and buried his face on his arm. "I love you so much, Tae." 

However, his instincts were just too high at the moment. He felt protective over him and wanted to stay with him more. 

Everything else was normal. Taehyung looked ill but not so ill that he would get this affected. 

There was something but he couldn't tell what was happening. He wanted to find out, stay there until he understood what was happening, but he couldn't stay here for longer as he needed to call the doctors here. 

Yet, he stayed there to caress Taehyung's tummy, looking at sleep peacefully. 

Right after he had managed to get out of Taehyung's hold, he went away from there with a restless heart and unsettled feelings. 

He had called for a doctor and had seen Mira heading towards Taehyung's room. 

I hope she doesn't plan something and put Taehyung in problems. Just the thought made him upset, but he buried his anger. I won't  stand it if she troubled Taehyung in her stupid desires of getting me. 

I'll never be hers. 

the sooner she understands, the better for her. 

x-x-x-x-x