•Chapter sixteen•

I didn't know it would be this difficult.

Taehyung had returned to his room right after breakfast with a crestfallen face and a hurt heart.

Mira had chosen to take a seat right next to Jungkook and had been especially clingy, holding his elbows and leaning closer whenever someone unknown came closer or when the ministers praised her beauty.

She had been happy most of the times and had been embarassed and shy as they continued to praise her for her bravery, trying to win the heart of their future queen.

Yet, most of them had failed to notice how tense and uncomfortable Jungkook was whenever she held him, and she didn't seem to realise too.

She was just holding him in innocence, thinking of him as someone who would save her always.

But Taehyung and Jungkook hadn't been happy with all these things, none blaming the girl for it but blaming the situation.

Jungkook didn't have no one worry about him though. The servants kept trying to make him eat something and Youngmi had her entire attention on Jungkook, looking at him carefully and just trying to make him calm down.

Taehyung had no one to care for him.

He didn't expect anyone other than Youngmi to care for his state, and though he had been sitting right next to her like always, she didn't look at his hurt face even once.

She always wished to see and take care of her own son first before looking at anyone else.

Taehyung hadn't just been careless or rude towards her for nothing. He wasn't the wrong one; he hadn't just misbehaved to his mother like guardian when she said a few harsh words to him.

It was just... She failed to make him feel like she would always be there for him even if no one else was, like a mother would.

He hadn't known what a parent's love would feel like, but he could clearly see the difference in her attitude and behaviour towards him or any of her other kids and Jungkook.

It was alright. She had done just so much for him--financially--that he couldn't see her as a person who didn't do anything good for him.

He still hoped, believed, that she'll see him as anything more than just a pretty omega she took under her wing as a sacrifice.

And he needed her the most now, just as much as Jungkook did.

He thought he had been severely lonely when Jimin came in, and had also hated the poor male omega for that, but this was much more bitter.

This feeling was eating him up.

He had been bottled up with worries and insecurity, having no one to look at him, care for him, ask him how he's doing or just making sure he's alright.

He had no one to share anything with.

As he sat in his room and flipped through the many letters Yoongi sent him, most of them pleading for a response and begging him to let him know whether his baby brother is alright or not, he couldn't help but feel his heart clench.

He didn't want to cry.

He thought he had already shed so many tears that he wouldn't feel more for the same matter or would grow numb to this loneliness.

Still, he couldn't help the shamefully weak shudder of his shoulders as he looked through the words his brother wrote for him. He couldn't shake of the heavy feeling of discomfort.

He couldn't order himself to stop fresh droplets from escaping his eyes.

He wanted to write a letter back to Yoongi, who seemed to be the only one who actually unconditionally loved him, but his pathetic hands wouldn't stop shaking.

He couldn't just write anything and send it to Yoongi because his brother understood easily what his emotions are even through his words.

He let it go. He just wanted to let go of all the things that were hard to hold on to.

He wanted to run away from this dark palace and live with Yoongi for the little while until he died due to this bond.

That's all he wished for.

And the urge to fight was too less, easily suppressed.

He wanted to see if Jungkook was also troubled, but he didn't have to walk around to search for him as he found Jungkook on the garden.

His blood boiled when he saw Jungkook smiling, a strained smile, at Mira who was bursting in happiness, having her hand around Jungkook's arm as they walked around.

Taehyung felt jealously for the first time. He was envious of both of them. He was envious of how Jungkook could be so carefree to hold her arms and show her around the palace like a gentle, soon-to-be husband just because this bond couldn't do anything to him.

He was envious of how Mira held his hand and managed to open her eyes so soon to understand who's best for her. 

He wished... He wished he was standing in Mira's position, holding Jungkook and looking at him with the happy expression Mira had on.

It was a reckless wish. It was stupid and dumb, and it made him angry on himself because he could've done something better than rejecting Jungkook.

He didn't have any feelings for the alpha back then. And now, he felt rage and jealously which still counted as some feeling which would later develop into other things; he didn't know what to expect from himself anymore.

He had seen dreams of love just like any other omega. 

But he never knew none of those could come true.   

He was born to just be a sacrifice, it seems. He got all the toys and clothes he wished for but had no parent or friend who would play with him or dress him up after helping him in a bath. 

But what right did he have to say anything against it? He was just a nobody given things any common man would love, so he had no choice to complain. 

Just like that, he would be expected to be at the feet of the king and love him selflessly just because he was lucky to have held the eyes of a royal. 

He was just beauty which could trap hearts. They didn't consider him to hold a heart which would dare to raise his hopes so high to wish for love. 

Jungkook loved him. That could just be enough of a reason for him to spread his legs for the alpha when he asks for it or smile sweetly to greet him to look pretty for him. 

To hell with all the beautiful principles and rules of this place. 

When jealousy burst the people here, when they saw that the commoner had more riches and attention from royals than others or the higher officials, they would wish to put them to place. If rank wasn't a problem, class always was. 

Taehyung wasn't a fool to trade respect for the sake of satisfying others. 

He stayed in his room for a much longer time and got out only when it was evening, wishing to go to Youngmi and just try to know what she was doing and if she had time to let him hug her for a while. 

It seemed too much to ask for. He remembers the number of times he had gone to her room when he was younger and coming back dejected because she was too busy.

"Queen?" he called, entering when he heard no response. 

"Tae?" Youngmi looked up and gave him a tired smile. "Is there something you need?" 

"Could I not come to see you?" Taehyung asks, walking further inside and standing before her, wishing that she would just give him a hug. But she stayed seated, looking up with confusion. 

"You could, son, but that's unlikely of you. You usually come when you need something. Anyway, if there is nothing you want, could you help me out with these? I'm trying to give things to Mira but don't know what she might like." 

You could just ask me if I was alright. 

I needed a warm hug and a few questions of, at least, fake worry towards my health or my wellbeing.

"Don't worry about this," he said, taking the papers from her hand. "I'd take care of this. I guess... you expect me to take care of Mira because even today morning you asked me to go get her ready. I'll do it." 

Youngmi didn't realize the hurt and disappointment in his tone. 

She just watched him walk away quickly and didn't understand that his fast pace was because he didn't want to just show his vulnerable eyes and twitching, restless hands to her. 

She wished to have a good talk with Jungkook about Mira, and that was what was occupying her mind. 

*-*-*-*

More days passed. 

It seemed like Mira had become a huge center of attraction of the people. They kept asking her questions and have her the respect she always deserved to have. 

Jungkook was expected to be with her always and act like a responsible "mate" to her, and he didn't have a choice to refuse. 

The only reason anyone ever thought about Taehyung was when they wanted him to do something for the girl. 

Jungkook only grew tenser and more stressed as he saw the lifelessness of Taehyung increase.

A few days back, Taehyung had refused to read a letter sent to him by Yoongi and had just kept it in his room, not even opening it. He looked duller, and all the smiles of his seemed so broken and forced that Jungkook felt the feeling of pure torture. 

He couldn't leave the girl's side. She didn't go away from his side even once. 

When he was busy, she'd go off to Taehyung and excitedly tell him about the things she received from Jungkook as a gift--the things he was forced to give her--and the places she had visited with Jungkook. 

Taehyung wouldn't react much. She understood that it was because he was still in a bond with Jungkook and was worried about being stuck in it. 

But she seemed to be lost in glee to think of the million pricks in his heart Taehyung felt when she spoke of Jungkook. 

"My prince gave me this necklace!" Mira exclaimed, barging into Taehyung's room a while after dinner. Taehyung sighed, giving her the most genuine smile he could muster. 

"Don't barge into the room, darling." he said, eating up his frustration when her face fell. "That necklace looks beautiful on you." 

I chose it. I was made to chose it by  queen Youngmi. 

I know how it would look on you more than your prince. 

"It does!" she couldn't contain her happiness. "I love it too, but I wish Jungkook had given it to me with a smile rather than just placing it on my table and telling me that it was a gift without looking at me." 

"He did that?" Taehyung asks, not seeming too interested. Such a great prince. so generous. He doesn't break just one heart but two of them. 

If he could just end her hopes already and tell her that he wants me then he could break one heart. 

If he could move on and love her and leave me, he could free me of the bond and break my heart by moving on like I was nothing in the first place.

But he knew Jungkook wouldn't do any of those because he couldn't. 

"Mira--" 

Taehyung was cut off by a knock on the open door of the room. They snapped their attention towards the door with Taehyung concluding that it was just another time the queen sent a servant to ask him chose something for the girl.

However, the person who stood at the door shocked both of them. 

Mira's face soured for a second before she put on a fake happy second, trying to think that Jungkook was here just to get her. "Did you need anything from me, prince?" 

Jungkook wet his dry lips, eyes set on Taehyung who looked at him with hopeful eyes. 

Hopeful.

Hopeful he was here for him, to be with him, and not for Mira. 

Jungkook could understand how desperate he was just by seeing how hope and expectant eyes looked back at him instead of raged and angered ones. 

"I need to speak to Taehyung. I would like you to leave, princess." 

Mira stood there for a while, a crease between her eyebrows as she just watched Jungkook. Her lips drooped and a frown formed on her face. She huffed when Jungkook just continued to wait without just telling what he wanted to in front of her and going away. 

It hurt her to leave but she couldn't act rudely. 

She wasn't his wife yet. She couldn't question why he couldn't tell whatever he needed to in front of her. 

She left quietly with a rather sad expression. 

But none of the two in the room cared of it at that point. 

Taehyung stood up from his chair, quickly lighting up a few more candles as it was too dark to even see each other that well. 

He faced Jungkook who stood motionless, lips wishing to utter out that he missed him and wanted to have a few minutes of his attention as he was too stressed. 

He kept his mouth shut in hope that Jungkook would say something first. 

But the alpha just waited. Just waited for him to yell out the things he had in his heart and scream angry profanities at him. He wanted Taehyung to free himself of the things he had being troubling himself with. 

Taehyung facial features softened. Desperate feelings hidden inside flashed in his eyes. 

Being too much of a coward to tell his feelings out, Taehyung just mouth a "I missed you" to Jungkook who barely caught onto the words. Jungkook's  heart stopped when Taehyung looked down and let himself uncover the inner tearing pain he has been feeling. 

What started as a sniffle turned to whimper then to soft, almost inaudible sobs. 

Taehyung hated that all he needed was for Jungkook to look at him with softness and love for him to break down so easily. 

Their hearts stopped when Jungkook's legs worked on their own to come ahead and embrace him. 

He wanted to provide Taehyung the warmth he needed but ended up seeking comfort from Taehyung when the omega leaned onto his stronger body and let himself melt into his arms.  

He could tell that Taehyung was forcing his sobs to die down. 

He hated his state. 

"I-I'll do whatever I can," Jungkook whimpered out a promise, holding him stronger. "I won't let you suffer like this. I will do just everything I can for--" 

For showing you that I love only you and nothing would change that.

"I won't tolerate being pushed off to a side and being used," Taehyung managed to sniffle out. "I'm going to kill you if you try those things with me." 

He had more to say. He wanted to tell Jungkook to not marry Mira and only think of him as a mate because Taehyung couldn't think of anyone else now too, not only because of the bond but because Jungkook has all the things he had wished for. 

He wanted to start fresh. Give a chance to Jungkook and love him wholeheartedly. 

He was too late to want Jungkook as more than just a alpha or someone who could fuck him well. He didn't yet fully accept him. 

But he wished to work on all of that and knew they could be better if these matters were solved. 

"I will try," Jungkook whispered. "I will not marry her no matter what." 

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