I have been trying to forget all that happened and as expected, it's not easy. Of course it wouldn't be because I kept seeing him at school and he kept approaching me.

In the end, I just kept running away from him.

I don't want to face him now or maybe never.

I just want to settle this feelings of mine. I keep telling myself that I'm not in love with him and that I was just being blinded by the mate bond.

But I'm still hurting and his words echoes in my head.

"..nothing special...he gave himself to me...we're not dating.."

It sounded like I'm just playing hard-to-get but I'm actually head over heels for him and that I would gladly spread my legs for him.

I'm disgusted at the thought of him looking at me that way but I can't blame him. It was also me who said that I'd never be his but look what happened.

In just a month, he was able to claim me.

He played well huh and I admit it, I'm bitter about all this.

My head hurts from over thinking, my body feels tired, my eyes looks swollen from crying every night, my chest feels a sharp pain like being stabbed by thousand knives and it hurts...it just hurts like shit.

But don't get the wrong idea! It hurts not because I love him?...I-It hurts just because at least I thought he's not much of a jerk that I thought he was and...and...we're mates so, we didn't really have much choice but to feel  betrayed.....stupid mate bond!

But if....

If he rejects me then...

We'll both be free and...

And he'll be happy right?

Ohhh...I just realized.

Is that why he's trying his best to approach me? Because he wants to talk to me and....

Reject me?

If that's the case...then...I don't have a choice but to accept it, right?

I need to be strong...

I may have to suffer the pain of rejection but no matter what, I know I'll get through it because...

Knock knock

"Tae? Can I come in?"

"Yes Jiminie."

"Can..uhmm...we talk?"

Jimin said and sat at the edge of my bed, beside me.

"Tae. I know you've been hiding something from me. You haven't been looking well for the past weeks. I could see through your fake smiles y'know and it hurts me too."

He said in a soft tone, his eyes were full of concern and sadness. I'm making him worry, again.

Suddenly, as I was engrosed in my brother's eyes, the emotions I've been bottling inside started to hit me real hard and my chest felt so heavy.

And I couldn't take it anymore...I just feel like my heart's going to explode then I burst into tears and buried my face on my brother's shoulder and soon, my room was filled with my muffled sobs.

I know...I know how hurt I am and I can't do anything about it. I'm so disappointed and frustrated at myself that my fake smiles were so transparent.

Have you ever felt so tired and everyday just felt like exhausting...so exhausting that your breaths became heavy and deep sighs, that your thoughts were just blank and that your body felt numb...it would be nice if your whole body doesn't feel anything, including the heart...But life's a bitch so...you'll always end up hurting...that every beat of your heart will just tighten your chest until you can't breathe anymore.

"Shhh...Tae...it's gonna be okay."

Jimin said as he rubbed comforting circles on my back.

"N-no...i-it's not...I Jiminie I..."

I tried to speak in between my sobs but I couldn't talk properly as I sniffed my snot, my shoulders trembled and my voice let out cracked sobs.

We stayed like that for awhile until I finally calmed down.

"Tae...please tell me?"

Jiminie asked and I softly nodded my head and hummed in response.

"Jiminie...I think Jungkook will r-reject me."

Jimin pulled me closer and he didn't say anything for awhile but I felt him tensed up. He's maybe thinking of a good response since it's a crucial matter for we all know what rejection meant.

For werewolves, a mate's rejection is the worst. It's even worse than having your mate die. If you're rejected, you'll suffer an unbearable pain for a certain time, which actually depends on a werewolf's emotional, psychological and physical strength. I heard many stories about rejected wolves committing suicide and some even lost their sanity. In simple words, rejection is a painfully slow death, torturing you every second of your messed up life and would eventually drive you crazy or kill you.

"Tae, I know he's a jerk and you know I hate him...but...after seeing him care for you at the trip, I could actually feel that he's not going to reject you...I just know he wouldn't."

"Jiminie....I'm scared."

"I know...I know it's frightening to even think about being rejected...but, you need to think positive too right? You've told me that you have felt sincerety in him...just...uhmm...try to believe in what you felt, not only on what you saw or heard 'kay?"

"But Jiminie...what if...what if he..."

"Tae, it's not gonna happpen okay?"

"Jiminie...there's one more thing."

"What is it?"

I gently pushed him away, breaking the tight hug to look at him in the eyes.

"J-Jiminie I...uhmmm...I."

I stuttered and my voice was hoarsed as my words got stucked in my throat.
So instead of talking, I looked down and and held his wrist.

I slowly raised his wrist as I watched his face turned from confused to shocked as he realized what I wanted to tell him when I put his palm on my belly.

"T-Tae...you're."

He gulped and his eyes widen in disbelief as I nodded my head in confirmation.

Then once I again, I burst into tears.

"I-If he...he rejected me then this..he'll never..."

"Shhh....Taetae no...please don't think like that."

"He...he'll never accept this."

"How do you know he wouldn't? Did you tell him already?"

"N-no."

"See? Tae, you need to talk to him. Promise me you'll talk to him."

I nodded softly and I clutched my belly while thinking that I needed to be brave and just face him already.

For him...

for me...

and for the precious life growing inside me.

~•~•~••~•~•~

It's been two weeks...

Two weeks since we had a proper conversation.

I sighed as I watched his back while he quickly walked away, disappearing in the crowd.

He's avoiding me.

He's clearly running away from me.

But why?

I sighed again at the thought.

"Yah! Juancock!!!"

I heard Jackson screaming behind me. I turned around and saw him running towards me with his goofy smile.

"Zup Jerkson!"

I said as I smiled at him and playfully punched his arms while we walked going to the cafeteria.

"So, how have you been with y'know?"

He asked with a teasing tone while his eyesbrows wiggled.

"He's been avoiding me."

"What? Why would Taehyung, aka your mate, would avoid you? Did you do something stupid?"

"I obviously don't know why he's been avoiding me."

"And why are you not doing anything then?"

"I did. I tried approaching him in all different kinds of manner: gentle, happy, aggressive, a little sad, angry and all sorts I could think of but he always gave me a blank look and ran away."

"Shit. You must've messed up big time bro."

"Maybe? I don't know what to do anymore."

I said as I let out a great sigh of depression.

"Woah woah! Is this really Jeon, The Fucking Great, King of Kings, Jungkook?"

"Shut up."

"Hahah. Sorry it's just that for the first time, you looked so hopeless."

"I'll let that slide just because you're my best friend."

I glared at Jackson as he tried to surpress his laughter...but he's right. I feel hopeless and lost.

Kim Taehyung, what are you doing to me?

"Hey, Kook, she's looking at you

"Correction, staring."

"You used to have a thing with her right?"

"Yeah. She's a great fuck and I remembered that I need to tell her something."

"Ohoo~ You gettin' it huh? Are you that sexually frustrated 'cause of your mate? Hahah!"

"Whatever Jerkson. See yah later."

I rolled my eyes and sighed as I stood up and walked towards her, ignoring my best friend's teasing remarks.

~•~•~••~•~•~

Okay, I promised Jimin that I would talk to him but I chickened out awhile ago and ended up running away.

But, no, Kim Taehyung you can do it! It's still lunch time, this is your chance!

And that's how I found myself nervously walking to the cafeteria...but was disappointed when I can't find him anywhere.

"Hey! HEY!"

I heard someone scream and I turned towards the voice.

He was waving at me?

I looked behind me and saw no one so yeah? He's looking at me right?

I hesitantly walked towards him.

"Hey! I'm Jackson. You lookin' for my bestie?"

He asked, showing his bright smile but I gave him a confused look.

"Bestie?"

"Yeah! Jungcock!"

"O-oh..y-yeah..I was k-kinda looking for him."

"Well I just heard him said he's heading to a quiet and less crowded place when he dragged Irene with him."

Irene? So she's back after getting suspended huh...but why?

With my chest aching, I thanked Jackson and walked out of the cafeteria.

As soon as I stepped out, I sprinted heading to nowhere in particular, I just let my legs take over.

So, he's with Irene?

That slut.

Why does my chest hurts so much?

Why do I even fucking care?

We're not even in a relationship right?

He just played with me.

That night was a mistake.

Stop...don't.

Taehyung...don't!

Don't cry.

Please..just..don't cry.

Fuck!!

I stopped for a moment, exhausted from all the running I made. I gasped for air as I turned around and I notice that my legs brought me to my favorite spot, the old garden behind the school.

I took a deep breath and my nose caught up with a familiar scent.

It was behind that bush...I took slow steps going towards it.

I peeked from the bush and my eyes widen.

It's Jungkook.

It's my mate.

Kissing Irene.

I couldn't breathe and my heart just felt shattered, broken, destroyed, damaged..I DON'T KNOW!

I just felt hurt.

I bit my lip and ran away, again...but this time I couldn't stop my tears anymore...I didn't care about the curious looks and kept on running.

I just want to get away from here...

Far away from them....

Far away from him....

I told you, he's a great player.

Have I really fallen in love with him?

But to him,

Everything was just for fun...

I'm just a toy...a trophy.

And now that he's done with me, he's going to throw me away.

I

meant nothing to him.

I never did.

I should've known.

But it felt so real.

Why can't it be real?

Why did you have to do this?

What am I supposed to do now?

Jungkook,

I trusted what I feel, you know.

I believed your sweet words.

Your bright smile.

Your calming voice.

Your gentle touch.

Your scent that was made only for me.

And the look in your eyes that tells me how precious am I to you.

Lies.

Liar.

Player.

You're the worst.

I hate you.

I love you.

Hahah. See? I'm really stupid.

Sorry. This is UNEDITED.
I love you all.
❤❤❤
Here's a pic of Kookie massaging Taetae! 😍