there exists
an internal battle
an eternal battle
between the desire for happiness now
and the plan for success in the future
it's a war
and i've been making sacrifices.

currently
i am sitting in my room
on a friday night
wishing i was somewhere
doing something
living
in general

but right now i can only dream
only fantasize
about this curious thing known as
"living as if i'll die tomorrow"

instead
i must stay sheltered
to prevent myself from making mistakes
that i'll regret later on
i must continue studying
so i can have a successful career
when i grow up

my whole life
i've been taught
that the future matters more than the present

but what if i spend the rest of my life worrying
and worrying
so much about the future
that i forget to live?

how will i learn if i don't make any mistakes?