I moved on.   Did you?

I left you behind but only because you forced me to.   Isn't it funny how empty words really are?  How quickly "I'll love you forever" becomes "I don't love you anymore."   

Empty words; broken promises   

He moves with ease and grace, dignity and prestige.  He speaks with unwavering confidence, an air of condescending power masked as assurance. 

He opens me up and takes what he wants, breaking me into pieces only to put me back together again in the wrong order.  He tells me that he loves me, that he owns me.   You used to tell me I was yours...  you were mine.    

That was wrong.  You were wrong.   

I moved on yet still you linger, refusing to leave me be.  Does that count as moving on?  Do you even care?

I honestly think you do.  At least, I think you would if you could see the way his hand holds mine.   He doesn't caress my skin lightly with his thumb, not like you always did.   His hold is firm, possessive, smothering.    

He doesn't hold my hand because he wants to,  because he craves the contact... not like you did.   He doesn't take my hand absentmindedly just because it just feels right, two palms fitting perfectly together.   

He doesn't hold my hand out of love,  he holds my hand to remind me who I'm with, to remind me of the possession that I am.  He holds my hand to let others know what belongs to him.

He never asks what I want.   Why would he?  He says he knows what's best for me.      

You rarely made a decision without me and now...   I have no decisions.

I lost my power in this world.

Does that mean anything to you?   Does knowing that make you wonder why?  Does it make you wonder how I could love someone who makes me feel like less of a man...? Less of a human being? 

No, I guess it doesn't.    You don't even know who I am anymore.  You don't see the new clothes he makes me wear,  the new places he takes me ... only to show me off like a prized pony.

You don't see him put on that charming smile that makes the world fall to his feet.  You don't see the fake smile I force on beside him.   

Would you care anyway? Does it matter to you?

He tells me I'm weak...

He tells me I'm a coward...

He hurts me every moment of every day...

He's a lot like you.

Find me...

I beg you. You left me to drift away...    

I'm begging.   

I lost myself months ago.  

Am I lost?  Am I?   Maybe I'm not lost at all.  Maybe I've just forgotten.  It's all drowning in fake smiles and designer suits, bruises and angry words.

It's easy to get lost now that I have no anchor. It's easy to forget when you're not here. 

You...

Can you hear me?  No. Of course not.   If you could, would you listen?   Would you stare at me, chin in your hand, smile on your lips and listen like you used to?

Used to.

Everything used to....

Where are you?   

You're here. When I close my eyes you are right here next to me and even though I'm crying it's all that keeps me going.

When I close my eyes I feel the resistance beneath my fingertips as I hold on... clinging for dear life.   

It's you I cling to,  it's you I let take me...

It's you I submit to...

When I close my eyes...

Sing for me.

Sing and think of me.

Listen and be inspired by me...     

By your love for me...

by your acceptance of me.

Where are you? 

I lost you ...  

I lost me.

So I go insane

like i always do

And i call your name

He's a lot like you