little late night humour (why are all of my oneshots never one shots?) 

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He awoke again to the cold still permeating the mountain of clothes and blankets. It wasn’t that bad yet, and he could tell that Scott was still asleep and he’d rather not wake him if he didn’t have to.

“cantellhim”

He raised an eyebrow at the quiet mumble, and smiled to himself as he heard a couple more he couldn’t discern. Scott was whisper/talking in his sleep. Again.

Well, if he couldn’t wake him… no one said he couldn’t have a little fun. He managed an almost cirque du soleil worthy move as he finally got his phone from beneath his pillow and turned around in Scott’s arms to face him. He took a little bit to turn on the video recorder. He’d once gotten Scott to recite the lyrics to an entire Beyonce’ song while asleep, every conversation was always worth recording. He took a few seconds worth of Scott’s sleeping face before he slid it onto Scott’s pillow, close enough that it would hopefully pick up their conversation despite Scott’s tendency to whisper/breathe/talk.

“Hey Scott?” he whispered.

He got a grunt in response and smiled to himself as he got comfy in their new position.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

He paused, lips twitching ever so slightly.  “wamish”

“What was that?”

“wanmish”

“You want…” He said it mentally a few times before he raised an eyebrow. “Mitch.”

“mymish.”

“You want to do something with Mitch? Go somewhere?”

“mmhmm.”

He was dying at the level of adorable happening. Part of him always loved hearing the way Scott said his name when he was sleeping. He always called him Mish and for some reason it was too cute for words.  

“So what is it you want to do with Mitch.”

“mkismish”

“Christmas? You want to go somewhere at Christmas?”

Scott shifted then, and he ended up chest to chest with him as his arms tugged in the warm body. Surprisingly it had been warmer without their shirts on under the covers. Maybe he’d have to mention that when Scott was awake. Hey, no shame in making an excuse to see a pretty boy without a shirt on. None.

“kismish”

“Christmas, right? At Christmas.”

“nooo”

There was the whine that was always worse when Scott was asleep. The boy frowned and his lips poked out further.

“Ok, not Christmas.” Kismish - he’s saying Christmas… he’s… wait. no that’s not even a possibility.

“wankismish”

He was almost afraid to say it out loud.

“You want to … kiss Mitch.”

“anholhmmm”

“and hold him.”

He let out a bit of a small sound in acknowledgment.

He’s got to be awake and fu¢king with me.

“cantellim”

“Who?”

“mish. cantellim issecret”

“I won’t.”

“likemish mymishhe …”

“he what.” He whispered, unable to keep from smiling at just the cuteness overload.

“wanhmmm”

“You want him? Him who? Alex?”

He scrunched his face a bit, lips pursing a bit as he squeezed Mitch a bit tighter.

“noooomish lovemish mymish”

“Ok, let me make sure I have this right. You want to kiss and hold Mitch for Christmas?”

I’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

“nakemish”

 No.he.did.not.

“You want naked Mitch for Christmas?”  What is happening right now.

“mmhmmm. wan.”

He watched his face, letting the quiet sit as he took the time to look for tells that would expose him, that would let him know he was faking, but none of them were there. All signs pointed to sleeping Scott.

Ok, well let’s see what else we can find out about what you want for Christmas.

“Ooook, so what are you going to do with a naked Mitch.”

This is the weirdest conversation i’ve ever had with my best friend. ever.

“kisshmmm”

“Yeah? Where do you want to kiss him?”

“hs lipsnallover      wanhiscokinmymou”

Took some mental dissection but seriously there was no denying the word right in the middle of all of that and right before what sounded like ‘in my mouth’. He practically had a heart attack as he realized what the words were doing, not only to his brain but to his body.

This is wrong. He’s with someone. You can’t do shit with him. FU¢k!

Had Scott been single he’d probably be rutting against him like a desperate whore by now. But the reality of the situation was that he wasn’t. He had to just... lay there...  and fu¢k this weather for making it impossible for him to escape.

“mishmine”

He was so cute with his lips all pouty and the whispers still falling from between them. Now all he could think about was kissing them.

“Ok. So you want a naked Mitch to kiss and do… other things with.”

“fuck”

He nearly burst out laughing. This conversation was 100 different levels of weird and cute and awkward and confusing all at the same time.

“You want a naked Mitch to kiss and fuck for Christmas.”

“yea”

He put both of his hands over his face to keep from laughing and waking up his source of entertainment.  

Oh my God if I told him what he was saying right now… he would DIE.

“What about a naked Alex?”

“noo” he pouted again, his sleepy voice cracking between whispering and normal talking.

“Do you love Alex?”

“lovmish”

“i thought you just wanted to fuck Mitch?”

“nolovmish wanmish.”

“and fuck Mitch?”

“mmfumish”

This was too, too much. He managed to adjust again, needing to put at least a little bit of distance between them for awhile. He needed to use the bathroom, but knew Scott would probably wake if he completely left him now. He was having way too much fun with this currently to risk it.

He picked up the phone again slowly and began to take video of Scott's face in the dim lighting.

“Ok, Scott. Christmas. Can you tell me one more time what you want?”

“wanmish” He was getting quieter, but so was Mitch because he was afraid to wake him.

“Are you sure you want Mitch for Christmas?”

“wannakdmish”

“You want naked Mitch?”

“yea"

“and what are you going to do with naked Mitch?” it took so much not to burst into giggles.

“fukmish mymishee”

“Ok, if you’re sure that’s what you want for Christmas. A naked Mitch to kiss and fuck. That’s what you want, right?”

“yea lovmish lovmymishee”

“Mitch loves you too, sweetheart.”

He turned off the recorder, knowing he’d never show the video to anyone else, but that he would probably watch it a million times himself.

He wondered what in the world had made Scott say those things, but now he had his own… problem… to worry about. Then he could worry about examining Scott’s words.