Will edit when I can read this without cringing.   IdK

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Mitch panicked. 

He didn't know what do so he did the only thing he could do.  

Run. 

Not far, mind you, just to his room. He couldn't decide if he felt better or worse after he'd slammed the door shut and pressed his forehead to the painted wood. 

He could hear Scott breaking down on the couch and every sniffle, every whimper or gasp of breath broke his heart. 

Damn those fücking thin walls...

Fück him. Fück him for dropping that information like it was nothing.

Fück yourself... You asked for it. You asked for the truth. Don't be pissed because you couldn't handle it. 

And yeah...like it was nothing. Does it sound like nothing to you?

"Ok. One thing at a time." He whispered to himself, trying to get his brain to stop trying to tackle it all at once and doing nothing but getting sucked down underneath it all like quicksand.

He could hear Scott's heart wrenching words from the other side of that door... 'i'm so sorry mitchie' ... and wanted to run to him again but no. He needed a plan. He needed to figure this out.

Ok. So it's not your penìs but it still kinda is. In the weirdest way possible. He didn't lie and he didn't just want to cop a feel. He isn't playing around... Alex was wrong.

Alex was wrong.

The knot his heart had been tied into began to come undone and the weight on his shoulders began to lessen.

Scott didn't lie. Scott wasn't using him. 

But he stopped taking his pills on purpose because he wanted to be close to you.

So what? You dumped soda on his bed once by 'accident' so he had to sleep in yours because you thought the hotel room was haunted and you were scared. 

NOT the same thing.

Kinda. You practically slept underneath him that night. Besides it's not the only time you've 'bent' the truth to get what you wanted.

"Fück!" 

He exhaled a long breath, the warmth bouncing off of the door and coming right back at him.

He smells you. Why would anyone want to do that!? 

He couldn't stop his initial cringe but he forced himself to take a deep breath.

"He can't help it."

Well... maybe it could be nice. Scott always kind of smells like... well... man. He always smells amazing. Maybe he smells good there too.

The idea of it still didn't seem right... the thought still seemed icky. Try as he might he just couldn't imagine it. How do you obsess on a smell!? On THAT kind of smell? 

But really, you're fine that it goes in your mouth... why is that somehow less gross than smelling it?

His brain was beginning to hurt in protest of all the work Mitch was putting it through. There was only one solution he could come up with in the moment and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

No matter what he did he just couldn't wrap his brain around it.. So he decided to stop trying to understand what he couldn't even imagine and instead go straight to the source.

He turned off his thoughts and ignored his inner monologue that was screaming that this was crazy and flung open his door before he could change his mind. If he overthought then nothing would get accomplished and they'd be stuck where they were in limbo land.

No. He needed to understand to move forward. 

"C'mere."

Scott looked like such a mess. Mitch hadn't seen him that upset since ... well he couldn't even remember. Regardless, he needed to figure this out and waiting until Scott was humanish again just wasn't an option.

He watched as Scott got to his feet and hurried over, eager to do whatever he had to to fix this. 

Mitch wasn't sure why he closed the door behind him, it was just them... but he still felt like he needed to. This was something he was almost 100% sure was going to be a mistake, but he needed it. He just had to know.

They stood face to face for awhile in silence before Mitch reached up to wipe the tears from Scott's cheeks. 

"I'm so sorry. I-" He stopped Scott's apology with a finger to his lips.

"Ssshhh." He didn't know what he was doing anymore but nothing in his life made sense so why should he. "I just want to try to understand. I need to."

Scott silently nodded his head, trying to get his tears under control.

"If you want me to stop just tell me and I will, ok?"

Scott sniffled a bit, nodding again in answer.

They were quiet for awhile, neither moving as Mitch built up the courage to try this. Finally he licked his lips, took a deep breath and walked around behind Scott.

Scott didn't move as he entered his space, pressing up against his back and letting his nose nuzzle in at the base of his hairline... just as Scott had done to him on so many countless occasions. He felt a bit silly, but he closed his eyes anyway, fingers gently gripping onto Scott's arms for balance... and inhaled. He was assaulted with a mix of scented shampoo, waxy hair product and a tinge of Scott's cologne he'd bought him for his last birthday ... but underneath it all was a distinct smell he'd always recognize. Scott.

It wasn't until he felt Scott shiver against him that he realized his lips were ghosting over that skin as he nuzzled in closer, breath tickling as let himself imagine how Scott felt when doing this. It was almost frustrating chasing that smell... trying to find a place where it wasn't so hidden under all of that other stuff. He moved down a bit to the collar of Scott's tshirt, but fabric softener just added to the mix and he huffed a bit in frustration.

Scott remained still, just letting Mitch do whatever he wanted and even though he'd given him an out, Mitch knew he wouldn't stop him no matter what he did. 

He let his forehead rest between Scott's shoulder blades for a moment, trying to shake off the sexual energy that seemed to be building up in his chest. When he finally felt he had himself under control he opened his eyes again and moved back to the front.

"Take off your shirt...       please."

Scott's tears had stopped by this point and his eyes stared directly into Mitch's as he tugged it off in one movement.

Hormonessss..   Hormones hormones hormones...  just put em on pause. Deep breath. Alright. In... out. 

He chewed on his lip, stepping forward to press against Scott, his forehead resting in the curve of his neck and shoulder. He could feel Scott's heartbeat, definitely quicker than normal but nothing like when he had an episode. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed it for a moment before nudging his nose against the dip of his clavicle and inhaling.

The cologne was stronger there, probably having soaked into the collar of his shirt when Scott sprayed it. He could also smell what he guessed was shaving cream or aftershave but it was faint. Still there was that ghost of Scott... that hint of what was beneath and he chased it like he had before... except this time it was different. As he slid across, coming to rest in the dip at the base of his throat, he gripped onto Scott's hips to keep himself from falling over. He'd never really had this much access to Scott, even that one time they slept together they were too young and inexperienced to really appreciate each other. This was a different kind of intimacy, something that he wasn't sure how to categorize or frankly process. It made him a little light headed. 

He really tried not to think too much, but he was still worried if he turned off completely he'd overstep. The urge was there... strong and insistent, but he pushed it down once more and headed downward, the smell of Scott gaining strength as he approached his stomach and rested on his knees.

He lay his cheek there for a moment, eyes still closed and nose still taking it all in. The comfort of it, the steady rise and fall, the heart beating beneath skin that he could still somehow feel even down there... the smell of .... Scott and home... he couldn't deny that it was nice and the familiarity of it eased a bit of the tension that had been plaguing him since the whole thing started. 

He knew he should probably stop there, should fill in the rest with his imagination, but his curiosity was about to get the best of him. He was beginning to understand, at least much better than he had when Scott had tried to explain it, but ... he needed to know what it was like. He needed to know.

He lifted his head and opened his eyes to look up at his best friend. Scott was just watching him... fingers curling into fists by his side before uncurling and repeating the process. 

"Can I?"

Scott didn't hesitate to give him a nod in response, the word 'yes' barely whispered into the air.

He slid his fingers into the waistband of Scott's shorts, curling them in and past the band of his boxer briefs as well. He waited until he was absolutely sure this was what he wanted.. and it took a few seconds but then he was exposing his friend completely. 

He'd done this before, seen it up close multiple times, but for some reason he felt like a virgin all over again. Maybe in this situation he was. He wanted to experience this differently, to try and understand how Scott felt when he did it.

His mouth felt dry and he swallowed nervously as he met Scott's gaze just to make sure he was ok. He closed his eyes again, his heart beat racing in his ears, and leaned in, nose settling in coarse hair, and the smell of Scott hit him before he could prepare. He would probably never even take notice if he wasn't specifically focusing, but Scott was right. The cologne, the shampoo, even his body wash... he couldn't really smell it there. 

What he smelled was Scott.

He opened his eyes and leaned back a bit, the discovery somehow giving him a push to continue... to see his experiment through to the end. He probably should have thought it through a bit better, but a bit of spit would have to do. Besides, Scott had done the same to him on many occasions when there wasn't much other choice. Desperate times and all that... Scott was mostly soft in his hand, but a few strokes and twists of the wrist quickly drew him to attention.

"Is it just the smell of my skin? Is it...." He slid his thumb over the tip, spreading the fluid around. "this?"

"All of it. It's... you." Scott's fingers were clenched tightly into fists again but his eyes were locked on Mitch.

Mitch inhaled, noting the obvious smell of sex, a hint of sweat and musk... but as he drew closer, opening his mouth and letting Scott disappear inside, it all mingled together to create an olfactory cocktail that could only be described as 'Dark Scott'. He closed his eyes again, trying to surround himself with it while still taking care of the task at hand... or mouth as it were. He could hardly believe how much of an effect the entire thing had on him. Scott hadn't touched him at all... but he could feel himself straining against his jeans. It was one thing to smell, but to taste at the same time. 

Scott was almost panting above him and he felt overly aware of it... of everything. He focused on the building scent surrounding him, the sound of Scott's shaky and uneven breaths, the push of muscle against skin. It was a clash of new sensation and familiar comfort and he finally understood.

He threw all restraint out the window and gave in to instinct and desire. His nails dug in where they had come to rest low on Scott's hips. He switched gears from exploration to pleasure and he swore he could feel the rumble from Scott's chest all the way down to the muscles beneath his palms and the one laid out on his tongue. He was a bit surprised that Scott wasn't pulling at his hair as he'd been known to be quite the hair puller, but even without seeing he knew Scott was holding back, letting Mitch have at him. No matter what he did, no matter the sounds escaping from the blonde's mouth or the hitch of his breath, he maintained restraint. It wasn't until Mitch opened his eyes to look up at him that he fell apart, a hand moving to Mitch's shoulder to keep himself upright as he found release.

Surprisingly enough Mitch had nearly done the same w/o a bit of contact. He kept his eyes on Scott as he let his cheek press against the other's upper thigh.

"I think I get it." He whispered.

Scott then slid his fingers over his head. "I'm sorry." 

He closed his eyes again, wondering just how silly they looked at the moment, but he'd been through so much with Scott by that point that nothing should ever embarrass him again. Now that the whole 'smell' thing had been sorted it was time to move on to the next item on the list.

He chewed on his lip a bit and finally pulled himself away from his comfy spot to pull Scott's shorts and boxers back up his legs. He made a face as he got to his feet, his erection sliding against fabric and sending shockwaves through his veins. He leaned his forehead against Scott's shoulder again, not at all surprised when Scott wrapped him up in his arms. 

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" He slid his own arms around Scott, pretending to ignore how amazing the tight body felt pressed against his.

"You never asked and ... I just thought you'd-" 

"No- I mean I get why you didn't say anything about the smell... thing... but I mean... that you're in love with me."

He felt silly saying it out loud. Scott... Scott I'm so hot I'm a danger to myself Hoying. His strange but perfect overgrown toddler of a best friend. In love. With him.

"I was scared. I didn't want you to leave me."

He tightened his hold and Scott reciprocated. "Do you think it's your disorder? Do you think that it ... is somehow clouding your judgement and making you think you're in love with me." 

"No. I know it isn't."

"How?" Mitch nuzzled in as if he could somehow get closer to the warm skin of Scott's neck. 

"Because I loved you before all of this started."