Hi! This is the end.... finally. This ended up way longer than  I meant for it to and probably longer than it should have been.  It was simply meant to be that one chapter of nonsense but ...look where we are lol .   This chapter is a little frustrating to read but... I hope it makes sense in the end :) Thank you guys so much for reading!!! 

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Mitch pulled his hands into the sleeves of the sweatshirt he was wearing and wrapped his arms around himself. He shifted and fidgeted while waiting for Scott to say what he was going to say, but the silence continued to stretch on. All of the negative thoughts that had been plaguing him the last couple of weeks decided to come out of hiding again and slowly filled his chest to crowd his heart. The continued silence was like fuel to his doubts and fears and every single second without reassurance crushed him just a little more.

He took a deep breath, wondering just how much mental armor he was going to need to survive this. There was a hesitation to Scott's stance, his shoulders tense but hunched at the same time. He took notice of the pinky finger tapping against the side of Scott's leg and wondered if he was nearing an episode.

Could that be his reason for showing up at Connors?

The continued silence began to fill his ears until he was ready to scream. He opened his mouth to say ... anything .. to break the quiet but Scott found his voice first.

"You've been crying again."

God he felt like a stranger in his own body as he quickly wiped at his eyes again and fought down his embarrassment. "It's been two weeks, Scott! Of course I'm fücking crying!!"

Fück, here come the waterworks again. Why do I always fücking cry!?

"Mitchy..." Scott took a step forward, but Mitch held up a hand to stop him. He curled his fingers back in and tried to wipe at his eyes with fabric of his sleeve.

"Look, I get that you needed time. I get that you wanted to get over Alex. I even understand the whole space thing. I just...before all this even started you ignored me for over a week and didn't have an episode and then Alex told me you'd been lying and just using me and I didn't want to believe him, but I was terrified, Scott. TERRIFIED at the thought of losing you. Then you tell me it's not my penìs it's my smell and to put the icing on the information overload cake you tell me out of nowhere that you're in love with me. My world was spinning out of control. It was confusing and scary but you were there to talk to then. You were there to help me understand and figure out how to deal with it and even though it was a weird way that I needed to figure it out... it was still ok because it was us and it was you and you understand me and we trust each other. Then you kissed me ..." he hugged himself tighter, the memory tugging at him. "... and suddenly it all seemed real. It was like I could see us being ... together. I could imagine that you wanted me and that we could... really be something. I don't know... what I'm trying to say ...it just... happened so fast... and all at once and..."

"Mitch-"

"Wait. I'm probably not making any sense but ..." He bit his lip and sighed before trying again.  "I know it didn't go well with Alex, and I know what you said you needed, but... I didn't know what to do, Scott. You literally turned my world upside down and then left me to try and figure it out on my own. Connor is great but he'll never be you. He doesn't know how I am or how I think or what I need... not like you.  Now it's been over two more weeks of you ignoring me again and you still haven't had an episode and it's like I don't even know what's happening anymore. Everything is just doing the opposite of what I expect it to and everything I thought I knew... I don't know at all. I've just been floating out in space ... just waiting. You said a couple of days...then a couple more then a couple more... We can barely spend 2 hours without each other let alone 2 weeks. I have every reason to cry, Scott. I have no idea what's about to come out of your mouth, if all of this has been for nothing... I'm confused and scared and I just want ... I want everything to be ok again. "

He hadn't taken time to process what he was saying before it all came pouring out of him just like the tears that were still falling with no sign of slowing. He hadn't intended to unload, but it was Scott standing in front of him and his heart had always dumped its truths on his best friend without hesitation. He probably should have conveyed his thoughts a bit more eloquently, but it was too late and he didn't have the energy to try and start over.

Scott visibly swallowed, his own eyes beginning to well up. "I know I haven't been fair to you, and I'm so, so sorry for that, but I just had to be sure."

Mitch looked as if Scott had ripped the rug right out from beneath his feet, his eyes wide with disbelief, mouth dropping slightly open. "You weren't SURE? You-"

"-Stop. That's not what I meant!"

"You waited until AFTER you turned my brain inside out ... until AFTER you kissed me and AFTER you said you love me to make SURE?"

"NO! Will you just shut up and listen for a second!?"

Mitch hugged himself tighter and shifted his gaze to the wall at his left just so he wasn't looking at Scott anymore . He didn't even try to stop or hide his tears this time.

"Mitch, I've never been as sure about anything in my life as I am about you. I love you."

"... but you literally just said-"

"Stop! I didn't have to be sure about loving you... that's not even a question. I had to be sure I could handle my episodes on my own. I needed to know that I could be ok if you weren't there with me."

"Wait... what?" He felt like the room was spinning but he somehow managed to keep himself on his feet. The tumultuous emotional roller coaster Scott had bound him to was taking it's toll and it left him mentally exhausted. "I don't think I understand. Are you saying you don't want to be with me??"

Scott closed his eyes, his frustration evident. "I'm saying this wrong." He rubbed his palms over his face a few times before continuing. "I want to be with you more than anything, but I never want you to feel like you have to be with me because of my... issues. I don't want you to ever feel obligated to stay with me or feel like you have to give me more than you're willing to. I don't ever want you to feel trapped."

"It's not like your episodes are new. I already know about your needs and how to handle them."

"But you shouldn't have to. My issues are mine to handle. It's my own responsibility to manage myself and my ... mental ...quirks."

"Well, the meds certainly seem like they're working... you didn't need me at all." He knew that, logically, he should be happy that Scott's meds were working, but he couldn't help feeling a little sad about it.  

Scott laughed a humorless laugh and shook his head. "You have no idea how wrong you are." He took a small step closer, eyes locking in on Mitch's before taking another and then another. "I had a couple of minor episodes, both in the first couple of days after you left. I picked up the phone to call you dozens of times... typed out so many texts that I refused to send. I had to lay in your bed and bury myself in your sheets before I could calm down. I know you noticed when I hugged you extra tight at our wardrobe fitting that one day and then practically sat on top of you during that interview for Seventeen."

Of course he'd noticed but didn't see it as anything more than Scott's usual touchy, feely-ness. He'd still felt like his best friend was miles away even though he was right next to him.

"After that things slowly got better and when I talked to Alex on the phone to arrange for him to pick up his stuff, he started crying again and tried to somehow bargain or beg for me to take him back, but through it all I was still ok. It was sad and it hurt, but I knew it was right... for both of us. 

When you asked me to go to Tyler's party, I really wanted to reschedule with Megg and Jake just so I could spend some time with you, but I knew I had to get it over with so I could move on... with you."

Mitch could only nod, still not sure where this conversation was headed or if his head would explode before Scott got to the point.

"Thankfully Megg was there when Jake showed up because Alex came with him. He tried again to get me to budge but he just doesn't realize what you mean to me. He was angry and sad and said some things that I know he never really meant, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Megg let me cry it out after he left, but after a little while I really thought I was ok. I finally felt like I was ready to move on. 

I guess his words stung more than I realized because I woke up in the middle of the night and an episode hit me full force. I'd had a nightmare about you... and Connor. I just couldn't get it under control no matter what I tried and the harder I tried the worse it seemed to get. I almost broke down and called you but ..." He looked at the ground, embarrassment radiating off of him.

Mitch waited but Scott seemed unsure if he was going to continue. "but?"

Scott made a face as he tried to look at Mitch again but his focus ended up more on the couch behind him. "Your sheets weren't enough then... they barely smelled like you anymore. So I...um... "

Mitch didn't say anything just crossed the space between them to take Scott's hand in his and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"I dumped out your laundry basket... and..." he turned his face away, a tear sliding down his cheek. "I just lay there until I could breathe again. I just laid there and cried and missed you for hours until I fell asleep on a pile of your clothes. I don't mean to be this way... I swear. "

The mental image of Scott having a breakdown on the floor in a pile of his dirty laundry broke his heart. "You should have called me. You know I would have been there."

"I know. I know you would have, but you shouldn't have to. You have a life and I keep interrupting it. I have to try to get better for you.  I made an appointment with my therapist again... I didn't talk to her yet, but I'm going to."

"Babe, I accepted that part of you a long time ago. If you want to talk to a therapist or do whatever that's fine... but do it for you not me.  I hate that you put yourself through that..." He reached up to wipe away Scott's tears with his thumbs, but long fingers suddenly closed around one of his wrists and blue eyes looked him over as if seeing him for the first time.

"I - ... is this my shirt?"

Mitch blushed probably down to his toes as he looked at the floor. Well you left me to Scott deprivation hell so I had to get my fix in somehow. "Yeah, I didn't mean-"

He looked up just in time to prepare for the mouth that was pressed to his. He seemed to immediately melt, arms falling to his sides as Scott wrapped a supporting arm around him, the opposite hand lifting to cradle the base of Mitch's neck. It took his breath away and he let himself get swept away in it. It didn't last nearly long enough, but Scott pulled away and stared right into his eyes.

"Guess I'm not the only one guilty of going through someone's laundry." Scott smirked a bit and Mitch smacked his side trying to hide his blush.

"I came by to grab clothes when you weren't there and it was laying on your bed. I took a few others too. I just ...missed you."

"So come home, Mitchy."

"Are you sure this time?"

Mitch was a bit ... ok a lot overwhelmed. Sure he'd heard Scott say it so many times and yeah he believed him, but now the waiting was over. This was the final step he needed to take. Could he do it? Was he strong enough? Brave enough?

Scott just pulled him in for another kiss before holding him close and nuzzling into his neck ... trying to fill his senses with Mitch to calm both his heart and his mind. He whispered out the words he'd said so many times, always meaningful... always honest.

"I love you, Mitch. God, I love you."

Mitch waited until Scott's face lifted and their eyes met before he dared to voice his heart. "I love you too."

Scott's response was not exactly what he expected. He expected a passionate kiss or some immature jumpy, happy moment... Instead, Scott stood staring for a few seconds before he dropped to his knees, arms encircling Mitch and his face pressing into his stomach.

Mitch was so stunned he just stood there while Scott's arms tightened around him and it wasn't long before his shoulders began to shake. He feared that he was having an episode, but then he heard the sniffles and realized that Scott was crying. "Babe..." He slid fingers through gelled hair before sliding them down along the back of Scott's head and neck.

Scott's voice was unsteady and a bit muffled but he heard every word.

"Just hearing you say that... like that. You ... you don't know how long I've waited..." He whispered out on shaky breath.

Mitch didn't know what to do... and when fingers began to push up at the hem of his shirt he nearly panicked. They couldn't do this in Connor's living room! But Scott didn't pull down his pants or anything...he just pressed his face into the warmth of Mitch's stomach and continued to hold on tight.

"Babe... why don't you help me get everything together so we can go home." He inhaled sharply as the response he got was Scott shifting to rub his cheek against the front of his sweatpants. He knew why...he was well aware of Scott's needs by that point... but this was certainly not the place or time. He imagined Connor walking through the door and felt that little bit of thrill run through him at the thought. Still... this wasn't about anything sexual for Scott... at least at that moment.

"Please..." He nuzzled in again and Mitch had to steady himself with his hands on broad shoulders.

It was all Mitch could do to keep from dragging him to the guest room and throwing all caution to wind, but this was Connor's apartment.... While that would be something he was sure Scott would appreciate, the possessive man that he was, he wasn't quite sure he wanted Scott to stake his claim there in that place. He'd much rather Scott be in a better state of mind and in a place where they didn't have to rush for fear of interruption.

Regardless of what he preferred, he was a bit stuck as his words had sent Scott into a mild episode and soon the man at his feet couldn't take it any longer and his sweats were pulled down in a sudden haste and long fingers were wrapped around him.

If you had told him that morning when he woke up that this is what he'd be doing at 11:30AM he wouldn't have believed it... but there he was in the middle of his ex... boyfriend(ish)'s living room while his best friend cried at his feet while jerking him off.

What is my life!?

Scott's damp cheek rest against him just below his hipbone. He kept his eyes glued to the blonde and after observing for awhile he wondered how he could have ever missed the little inhales, or the way Scott tended to smoosh his face into his skin for long periods of time. It seemed so obvious now that he knew the truth.

He let out a tiny groan as Scott adjusted his hold and rhythm. He'd almost forgotten how well Scott knew his body... how quickly he could drive him crazy. His knees nearly buckled when Scott's tongue flicked out at his tip and slowly lips parted to allow him to slide inside. He'd grown so accustomed to restraint in this situation that he almost drew his fingers into fists to keep at his sides, but Scott wasn't taken by anyone else anymore. Scott was his... just his.

He let his head fall back, giving him an amazing view of the ceiling as he gripped one shoulder and let his other fingers slide back to the back of Scott's head. He let himself feel it, enjoy it without guilt or reservation and when he looked down to watch himself disappear into heat, he almost lost control.

As it were he only lasted just a short time more before Scott was cleaning him up with his tongue and nuzzling back into his skin.

Mitch ran the tips of his fingernails gently over the base of his skull and Scott practically purred.  They remained like that... staring at one another until Mitch reached up a hand to run along Scott's cheek. His entire body was buzzing with hope and love... but it was also a little soft and fuzzy with post-orgasm haze.

Scott smiled a bit sheepishly at him as he pulled Mitch's sweats back up and slowly got to his feet. "Sorry. Can we go home now?"

Mitch grinned and gave a short nod. "Only if you promise we can be lazy cuddle bugs for the rest of the day."

Scott laughed. "Let's go get your stuff."

"Scott?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you... all of your flaws and weirdness and smelly nose and all."

Scott pulled him back into his arms, arching him back a little with the kiss he pressed into his mouth.

When Scott pulled back to look in his eyes, one thumb moving to slide over Mitch's bottom lip... his world finally seemed to right it's rotation and he knew it was all going to be ok.

"I love you too. Let's go home."