'Just a lap more' Jungkook thought as he crossed the starting line yet again. At the far end of the vast sports ground, the volleyball team kicked dust as they jumped up to hit the soaring ball. His own team members were engaged in various activities and workouts nearby. He heaved a sigh as he relaxed into a slow jog. The last lap of the workout was meant to let off steam and that's exactly what he did. He breathed in and out rhythmically, allowing his body to get used to the steady calmness of the jog. Despite the pleasant atmosphere, he was dripping with sweat from head to toe. Jogging past the finish line, he made his way to their bench and plopped down on it from exhaustion. He greedily uncapped his bottle of water and chugged it down to quench his mighty thirst. He ran a towel through his clammy hair and torso in an attempt to dry away the sweat. The coach walked past him and slapped him on the back, appreciating the day's effort, and vanished into the school building.

"Any news on the Tournament?" Asked a tired Seju, reaching out for his bottle of water.

Jungkook shook his head. "Not yet. Coach says it might be in by next week."

The other boy nodded and gulped down half a bottle of water in a single go. Jungkook handed the fresh folded towel and the older boy smiled in gratitude. Nam Seju was a sprinter who specialised in short-distance tracks, unlike himself, who specialised in medium-distance ones. He was a senior who'd graduate off by next year, depriving the school of one of their fastest sprinters. He was tall, well-built and had an evidently toned body that often drew attention from admirers.

"Listen, Jungkook. I uh need to talk to you about something." He started uncertainly.

'There it is.' He thought. Even before Seju uttered anymore, Jungkook had a hunch on what it would be about. He had tried to deny it and he had tried desperately to convince himself that he had made a mistake; that he had mistook someone else for Seju in the dimness of the party lights. But all of his denials had been wiped clean with the onset of the wild-fire news. Arden Kim is officially dating Nam Seju. If that really was the truth, Seju was the last person Jungkook wanted to talk to at the moment.

Jungkook felt stupid. When Arden had informed him that she no longer felt anything for him and that she was interested in someone else; Jungkook had been devastated beyond words. She was his first love. He had been a broken-hearted mess after her and he would be lying if he said he still wasn't one. Seju had definitely been one of the very few from their team with whom he was close to. He remembered ranting to their small gang, Seju included, over cold mugs of coffee. Seju was also one of the very few people who knew how truly heartbroken Jungkook had been; one of the few whom he had trusted with his vulnerable self. When he'd seen her dancing with him the other night, Jungkook did everything in his power to convince himself that he was simply imagining things. It sounded absurd even to his sensible mind. He had come up with various theories and excuses to justify what he saw; to deny what he saw.

"I wanted to talk to you before you found out from someone else but I guess you...." He continued. "I really had no intention of hurting you but when she-"

"Hyung, stop." Jungkook said, staring hard at the bottle in his hand.

"But I need you to know-" Seju tried.

"Don't." Jungkook shook his head, eyes still trained on the bottle. All he could see at the moment were images of them dancing together.

"Hey!" He heard her voice say. "Ready?"

Jungkook frowned. He had heard it before. She used to say these exact words when she came to see him after practice. She'd smile brightly and make her way towards him, instantly evaporating all his exhaustion. But the voice he heard at the moment sounded too real to be just a voice in his head. He snapped his head sideways only to see the very scenario he dreaded to see. It was funny how things changed within a span of mere two months. The same face that gave him the warm fuzzy feeling now spread coldness within him.

He watched as she approached them, smiling shyly at Seju. He smiled back sheepishly, clearing his throat as though to signal a warning. Jungkook didn't have the heart to wait and see any further. He got up, picked up all his stuff and left them quietly. She must have noticed him only then, for he heard her whisper his name in surprise. He didn't pause to neither talk nor look at her. He simply slung his small backpack over his shoulder and walked past them. He crossed over to the roofed part of the building and clenched his fists in frustration.

From behind, he listened as a set of brisk footsteps approached him. "Jungkook, wait." Said Arden, a little out of breath.

"Not now." He said, not bothering to turn back around.

She jogged ahead of him and obstructed his path. Not wanting to look directly at her, he tried sidestepping her only for her to block him again. This time, with her palm resting on either of his shoulders. Annoyed, he looked up at her. That was a mistake. The moment his eyes met with hers, he instantly melted into nothingness. A part of him ached so much that he had to clutch his chest to try and soothe the pain. He held her gaze. It was one of desperation, as though she was pleading with her eyes to stop and listen.

"Kookie... come on. You have to stop being like this around me. And please, stop pretending like you don't know me." She said softly.

"Oh yeah?" he spoke out. "Then what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know?" She said, raising her arms exasperatedly. "Just be normal."

"Normal." Jungkook scoffed. "Nothing has been normal for a long while now."

"We agreed to stay friends, remember? I know that things changed and that... it was hard on you. But I don't want to lose you, Kookie. I want us to be friends again." She said, sighing.

"I can see that it was easy for you to move on but that's not it for me. I can't just pretend everything is fine and act like we're friends. I can't just ignore the fact that you cheated on me with my own friend. I just can't. At least not anytime soon." He said coldly.

"I didn't cheat on you." She countered sternly.

"Yeah. Right. The technicalities. Well, it sure didn't take you that long to start dating him." Jungkook replied, ugly bitterness evident in his words. "I just don't want to do this now." He sidestepped her yet again and moved past her. This time, she didn't stop him.

"Kookie?" She called out.

He stopped in his tracks.

"I miss you." She said. Her voice was almost a whisper; so low that he was scared it was all just his imagination.

Jungkook gulped, forcing down any emotion that threatened to capture him. He turned back around to look at her. She seemed hopeful. A few strands of hair had come out of her loose ponytail, falling over her face like the embellishments on a beautiful marble interior. She looked beautiful, as she always did. But she was not his to look at anymore. She no longer belonged with him and he let the thought weigh down his chest.

"Please stop calling me that." He said, almost as though he was begging. He felt pathetic. Now more than ever, he felt like he was a pathetic fool. But none of what he felt mattered anymore and so, he turned back; walking away from her without another word.

***

Jungkook yanked open his front door and scanned the shoe-rack. His mom was home early; which was normally a rare occurrence. He silently made his way towards his room. He could hear her rummaging around in the kitchen and he tip-toed in, careful not to draw her attention. He inevitably would have to talk to her but he needed to shower and clean himself before facing her.

Half an hour later, he walked out of his room feeling much more refreshed in a neat pair of jeans and white cotton T-shirt. His mind was still buzzing with every word that Arden had uttered. He knew he'd stay up all-night thinking about it too. He knew himself too well to try and distract himself from it. His mom was now on the couch, flipping through some random channels on the TV. He made his way to the kitchen, scavenging for food. He found a packet of chips and ripped it open hungrily. Track workouts always left him super hungry.

"Jungkook?" his mom called out.

He threw his head back in annoyance and groaned. Unwillingly, he went back to the living room and stood in front of her, wondering what she had in store to bicker about this time. She extended out the TV remote and muted it, drowning the place in a murky silence. Jungkook studied his mom's face for possible clues but he got nothing. She pushed her thin black metallic hairband further onto her head to keep the strands of hairs from falling onto her face. For a son his age, his mom looked young. Technically, she was young. A lot of his acquaintances often mistook her to be his older sister. She would have looked prettier had it not been for the dark circles and the light shade of purplish tint on her lips that seem to betray her.

"Your homeroom teacher called today." She said, staring at him with her wide eyes. People had often remarked that he had her 'innocent dark eyes'. Searching her eyes, he found no trace of innocence. Lately, he felt like he was staring into a lifeless pit.

'Fuck.' Jungkook thought to himself. 'This can never be good news.'

"You know what it is about already." She said, tossing the TV remote aside.

He remained silent.

"You thought I wouldn't find out?"

Suddenly, his mouth felt parched and he licked his lips.

"I thought I made it clear. If you fail, it's your loss. I won't bother paying for this crap and you can do whatever you want with your life." She shrugged. "I don't get it. If you can't even pass an exam, then maybe you just don't deserve to study."

He was used to hearing these. "You're a burden. Paying for you is a waste of money for me" blah blah blah. There was no point in arguing with her. The only way to avoid this was to not react at all.

"I'm sorry." He said, trying not to look at her scorning face. "But I'll work harder next time. I'm trying my best."

"Trying my best, my ass." She scoffed. "Look here. All this energy that you waste on causing trouble and other useless shit? Put that to some good and try to make yourself useful for once, yeah?" Despite the considerable warm weather, she tugged her cardigan close.

He didn't say anything. What was he supposed to say? 'This is not my mother.' He told himself. This was not the woman he knew as a child. She might look and speak the same but this wasn't his mother. Only a shell of someone that he once knew and loved. Granted, she had never been the perfect mother but at least she wasn't whatever she was now. Everything had changed when he returned back from the boarding school. He wondered how a mother could turn so cold towards her own son. 'This is not my mother.' He repeated.

"... if not that- hey! Are you even listening to me? What are you staring at?" His mother growled. Instantaneously, she stood up; raising her hand upward to strike him. Even as she hit him, it did nothing to him.

Sighing, he simply moved aside and walked out the front door. Her loud yells were muffled with the slamming of the door. He'd have to stay over at Namjoon's again for a while. Late at night, when she's deep in her slumber, he'd sneak back into his room. Just like always.

***

It was only when she opened the door that he realised where he was, effectively snapping him out of his trance.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" Asked Jia, puzzled.

"I-uh..." He fumbled for words. At one point, he knew that he had to kill time before he went over to Namjoon's. With all the various classes that he took, Jungkook knew that he wouldn't be home for at least another hour. He then had thought of the math exam that was due the next day and before he knew it, he was at her door, ringing her doorbell as though it was the most natural thing to do.

"Yeah?" She said, waiting for him to speak up.

"The math test." He blurted out. "I know we said we'd start our classes tomorrow but I really need your help. I have no idea what to do."

"Oh." She said and looked around frantically. Then, she looked at him as though she was doing a mental calculation. Finally, she sighed and decided to let him in. She glanced nervously at the door and then at the clock.

"Look, I don't wanna trouble you." He asked, studying her carefully. "It's okay if you are busy. I'll just ask Namjoon or something."

"No no, it's just... I haven't told my parents yet that I'm tutoring you. I uh- don't want them to get the wrong idea, you know?"

He furrowed his brows and thought about it for a while. 'Oh.' He thought. When he realised what she was getting at, he blushed a little. A lot of kids their age often used tutoring as an excuse to well, do not-so study related stuff.

"I'll just leave then. It's completely fine." He assured, moving back towards the door.

She bit her lower lip, probably weighing out her options in her mind. "Wait, it's okay. Maybe I'm just overthinking it. We'll just stay out here in the living room and it should be fine." She nodded, mostly to assure herself. "I'll go get my books."

Before he could say anything, she darted up the stairs and disappeared into a room. He looked around, nervously drumming his fingers on his jeans. He was here anyway, might as well try out the whole study thing but he wasn't so sure he had the energy for it. The place was smaller in size compared to his own house. A simple living room and a kitchen, divided by a dining table. A master bedroom on the left, opposite to it the staircase, atop which he assumed would be her bedroom.

She skipped down the flight of stairs, carrying a bunch of books and a pencil kit in hand. She observed him from head to toe and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you bring any books?"

'Crap.' He thought. He hadn't thought through that far. He made a show of hitting his forehead with his palm and said "How stupid of me. I left them on my table."

He knew for a fact that she wasn't convinced but she must have decided to let it slip. She placed the books on the wooden dining table and pulled out a chair to sit. She motioned him to sit across her and he obliged.

He didn't have to say much after that. She opened up their math textbook and gave him a few problems to do. When he admitted that he had no clue how to solve them, she explained the steps in detail, assuring him that it was okay to take time and encouraging him to start doing them on his own. A few tries later, he got the hang of it and she pushed him to practice more. Writing down the question number by the margin, he subtly took a glace over at her. Her forehead was scrunched down in concentration as she scribbled away on her notebook. He was hit with a sudden burst of memory. He remembered sitting similarly across a girl who had had her head bent low over a notebook. Only, instead of Jia, it had been Arden. He sighed again. It was like everything reminded him of her. And each time he remembered her, he'd remember their conversations.

'Kookie.' Her voice ringed in his ears. Names have power and that particular name held a lot of power over him. Each time he heard her say it, he'd smile and blush, feeling like a child on a playful summer day. 'Kookie' she'd call out with a pout when he teased her, 'Kookie' she'd sigh when she hugged him after a long day, 'Kookie' she'd whisper the name over and over in his ears as he held her close. "You're my cookie with a K." She'd say in her thick American accent. To a stranger, it might seem like a trivial play on word, but to him, it meant warmth, tenderness and love.

"Everything okay?" Jia's voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts. She was no longer focused on her book and instead was looking right at him.

He shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed. "Nah, everything's good."

She capped her ball pen and leaned forward, folding her hands on the table for support. "You've zoned out for way over five minutes now. If something is bothering you, it's best to get it out of your system. Otherwise, you won't be able to concentrate. So, spill."

He looked back at her intensely and fiddled with the pen in his hand. She had a point. He had a lot of things on his mind but this particular one kept distracting him. Of course, he could opt out of talking about it to her but for some reason, he wanted to let it all out. Something in him urged him to open up. He was here for a reason and he knew all too well that studying was not the major one on it. Maybe he just wanted to talk to her about it all along? He remembered that night when they'd spent time playing the made-up game in his living room. That one night had made a lot of difference. They'd got to know each other a lot more than they'd hoped and it felt liberating to talk to someone new.

"I talked to Arden today." He blurted out.

"Oh." She said. Judging from the tint of sympathy in her eyes, he guessed she has probably already heard of the news.

Nevertheless, he said it out loud. "She's dating Nam Seju." He'd hoped that it would remain untrue if he refused to say it. He knew that it was foolish to think so and yet, he had dared to hope. But now that he let it out, it poked at his chest like a hot needle.

She drew her lips taunt and tilted her head ever so slightly. "I saw them at Lilly's the other day." She nodded.

"Seju out of all people. Why did it have to be him?" Jungkook knew that he would feel the same way no matter who it was but this felt like a harder blow to the face.

"You know him?" She raised an eyebrow.

"He's on my track team." Jungkook said but he was barely audible.

"Oh no. That sucks." Jia said in disbelief. "So not cool."

"Tell me about it." He said, sulking.

"What did she say?" Jia asked curiously. "How could she possibly talk to you after that?" She shook her head in wonder.

"She said she wants us to be friends. That I should stop being like this and go back to being 'normal'." He made an air quote. 'She said that she missed me.' He wanted to add but decided against it.

"And?" She pressed.

"And what?"

"Are you going to be friends with her again? It's going to be really hard for you."

"I don't know." He admitted. "I don't want to think about it and yet, I can't stop thinking about it either."

"I see." She nodded. "I wish I had something intellectual and helpful to say but I don't. This sounds tricky. So just take it slow and don't rush into something that you might regret."

"I understand." He replied. "I don't expect you to make a decision for me either. But hey, you're right. Talking it out does help."

"See?" She shrugged. "It works most of the time." She pointed out, uncapping her pen to resume her math problem.

He got back to his book too and sure enough, he was able to focus better. Of course, everything about it still bugged his mind but at least for the time being, he could take his mind off of it. Mid-way through, she brought them snacks and he munched on it hungrily. Soon after, her mom showed up and he introduced himself to her politely.

"Look how tall you've grown." Her mom said, amused. "Last I saw; you were about this height." She said, indicating her palm to the height he was back in elementary school.

He understood that Jia was a stricter teacher than Namjoon. She insisted him to work on a few more questions until the hue outside the windows turned to faded orange. When he was done with a fair share of problems, he got ready to leave. He politely said his goodbyes to her mother and stepped out their front door. Jia stood by the door frame and waved at him.

"Thank you." He smiled genuinely. As much as he appreciated her help with math, he was equally grateful to her for listening him out. He was also immensely grateful for the snacks. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Shoving his hands into his jeans pocket, he headed out to Namjoon's place. He stepped onto the pavement past her front gate, his mind a tad bit lighter than from when he had entered.