White soft sneakers hit tiredly against the rigid grey pavement in a mechanical movement. There was barely any life to the rhythmic motion, it persisted out of necessity. She walked mindlessly, having lost the sense of aim a while back. She was sore. Her legs were sore, taking the beating for her wrathful mindlessness. Her throat was sore from all the yelling and it prickled as though someone was probing it with a broken toothpick. Her hands felt sore from being shoved into the pocket with nails digging into her palms far too deep for far too long. Her lips were sore from having bitten them too harshly, tearing the skin off with her teeth and pressing them together for the throbbing deliverance. Her eyes were sore from having seen things she wished she had never seen. Something told her that it would remain sore for a few days, crying out the restricted tears that she fought to hold back. Her body was sore from the physical toll that she inflicted upon it. Her mind was sore from thinking and re-thinking thoughts that had invaded her peace from out of nowhere. And finally, her heart was sore from having been dissected without warning, for having the life sucked out of it by her own negligence, for being taken out of its cellophane wrapping only for it to be squished like an insignificant bug.

What was all that? Who were they putting up all that show for? Why did she bother with anything in the first place? Wasn't she better off dreaming about her fictional characters and idols she'd never meet?

Jia looked up tiredly. Her feet had carried her somewhere and she wasn't even curious where. She stood in front of a familiar peach house with potted money plants hanging from its front veranda. This was a place she'd been frequenting for the past couple of months. The second option aside from her own house. A place where she let down her heavy bags after lugging it around from school. A place that greeted her with snacks, laughter, irritation and a bed if she ever needed one. Mechanically, she rang the bell and stood ignoring the pleasant warmth of the evening sun.

"Jia?" asked a puzzled face. Jungkook's doe eyes narrowed as he mentally checked if they had an appointment.

"Can I come in?" She asked feebly before he could probe her more about her sudden visit.

"Sure? Come on in. My dad isn't home yet." He chattered on, pushing away the empty food containers that lay scattered on the sofa. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, she didn't even have the energy to remove her shoes or pay attention to the rest of what he was saying.

"Um" He hummed uncertainly. "Is everything okay? Because you look all pale, like you've seen a ghost." He observed.

She exhaled heavily, letting out a weak attempt at a laugh. "I wish." The sofa, the empty food cartons, the living room and Jungkook all blurred away into an indecipherable blurry blob. The searing pain on her chest from the lack of breath, the already sore throat turning into sandpaper, the pinching throb on her forehead as she strained her brows, and the unending stream of salty-watery mess must have given it away; for she realised soon enough that she was crying. She found it ironic how it was the question 'Is everything okay?' that set her off, as though she was waiting for someone to ask.

"What-oh my god." He fumbled. "Jia, what happened? Why are you-uhh" He was clearly panicking but she didn't have the will to stop crying.

She sobbed hysterically, clasping her hand over her mouth to muffle her wails, but it barely made any difference. Her body shook from the intensity of her cry and her lungs struggled to take in air. "Yoongi and I broke up." She managed to say in between her noisy weeping.

"What?!" Despite the warnings that he'd been giving out, he seemed quite surprised himself. He extended his arms on her either side, gripped her shoulders and bent down to her eye level. "What happened? Did he hurt you?"

Jia wasn't sure she could recount her whole conversation in between her wheezy breaths. Accompanied by a series of scary shudders and pauses, she managed to say "He cheated on me."

***

The guttural scream had been a genuine instant reaction. Panting, she'd closed the door behind her, grinning to herself like crazy. It was only a few seconds in that she'd noticed the movement of a sentient creature inside the supposed-to-be empty room. She clamped her mouth with her palms as soon as she screamed.

In front of her stood a girl with choppy brown hair. Her hands were frozen in the middle of a failed attempt at trying to grab open the bathroom door. Breathing heavily, the two girls stared at each other, both terrified for different reasons. If there was one thing that registered immediately into Jia's mind, it was her unmistakably unique piercing eyes. Meeting Soo-Yeon was the last thing she had expected to happen that day.

"You?" Jia whispered flabbergasted.

There was a series of loud knocks on the door behind her and Jia jumped a little. She took a few steps forward involuntarily and watched as the other girl took a few careful steps backwards. Jia had assured herself on the day of Yoongi's piano concert that it would be the last she saw of his ex. Meeting her had shaken Jia to the core and she had been confused, not knowing whom to believe. But seeing her in his bedroom was something she had never imagined. After everything that the girl had told her the other day, about hating Yoongi... Jia's brain seemed frozen, unable to process the two contradictory scenarios. Having managed to pry open the door, she stumbled a little as Yoongi pushed the door from behind her. She could hear his ragged breathing behind her as well, but she just couldn't take her eyes off of the girl.

"I thought you..." Her words trailed off as she struggled to form a coherent sentence.

"Look, I can explain." She heard him say as he placed his hand gingerly on her shoulder.

She turned to him with the dumbfounded expression plastered to her face. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't comprehend. She closed her eyes slowly and opened them again. "What?" She exhaled. "Explain...what?" the words were barely audible; they were more stressed air than words.

She suddenly found herself out of breath and it made her light-headed. Blinking her eyes rapidly to stay awake, she pushed past him and tripped out of the room, trying to find her footing on the upstairs hallway. The image of Soo-Yeon's bedraggled state just wouldn't leave her mind and she clutched the railing of the stairs to keep herself steady.

"Jia, stop. Let's talk this through." He tried.

"I'm sorry?" She said incredulously. "But what more could we possibly talk about?" Gripping the railing tight, she stormed down the stairs.

"Just calm down." He followed closely behind.

"C-calm down?!" She asked turning back to him, wondering how he even had the guts to face her, let alone talk. "How the fuck am I supposed to calm down after physically witnessing that?! Are you even listening to yourself?" With her temper rising gradually with each second, she regained enough to talk her mind. "I literally just saw a girl hiding in your bedroom."

"You're taking it all the wrong way." He insisted.

"Oh, am I? Let me guess, you were only playing an innocent game of hide and seek? Hmm? What do you take me to be? That I'll just readily buy into all your bullshit? I'm so stupid for believing all your fucking lies." The tears that were only threatening to spill, flowed generously down her cheeks.

"Listen to me. It's not how it seems-" he began in a low voice. But even as he said that, his eyes darted back and forth upstairs as if to check if the other girl was listening in on them.

"You have got to be kidding me. It's not how it seems? Alright, okay." Desperately wiping off the tears, she nodded. "I'll believe you. I'll take your word for it if you can give me one good reason as to why you were so concerned about hiding her in there. If it's 'not how it seems', you must have a pretty solid reason, right? Please. Feel free to enlighten me."

He kept quiet, his eyes struggling hard to maintain a steady gaze on her.

"That's what I thought." She scoffed, she no longer bothered trying to wipe her cheeks. "Forget about me. Remember all the stuff you told me at the Piano concert? You talked shit about her and now you're... Aren't you, in the least bit, ashamed of yourself?" Her voice was loud enough to reach upstairs.

"Shh, stop being so loud." He said, frantically annoyed.

At that, she took a deep breath to stop herself from screaming her lungs off. She couldn't think of anything cool enough to say that would mask her deeply vulnerable self. She was neck-deep in the rawness of her emotion and crying pathetically seemed to be her only reaction. After all that she did for him, felt for him, it hurt her to know that it wasn't worth the same to him.

"That's fine." She said hoarsely. "I'll leave and make things easier for you. I'm sorry for the disturbance. Please, go ahead and get back to having fun." She slung her bag over and wrenched the front door open. "Happy fucking birthday." She slammed the door on her way out and stormed away, harshly rubbing her wet cheeks.

***

"Shh shh it's okay." His chest hummed as he spoke.

The moment he had enquired about her well-being, she had broken down in a fury of emotions. She wondered how it was humanly possible to cry this much. Wasn't there a limit as to how much tears your eyes could generate? Each time she thought she was done crying, she'd be hit with another bout of emotion which added up to the previous one, rendering her in an endless loop of weeping.

They'd been standing at the same spot, a little away from the door, for a while now. She wasn't sure exactly how long but she was certain that it was well over ten minutes. She knew that she was taking advantage of his comfort, but it only made it harder for her to stop. She had her face pressed to his chest, his t-shirt soaking up all her tears, snot and saliva. She was too caught up in her moment of grief to feel embarrassed. But he didn't seem to mind at all. He stood there silently, his hand patting the back of her head soothingly as he held her in his comfortable embrace.

"It's okay. It's okay." He assured her. "Let it all out. It's better to let it all out than bottle it up for later." The words made her grip his t-shirt tighter, but he stood unflinchingly.

After what seemed like eternity, she finally found the will to stop crying. Her sobs having subsided, the two stood huddled together, drowning in the sudden silence. Still sniffling, she detached her face from his body and tried to move away. But he continued to hold her firmly.

"Jungkook, it's okay. I feel better." She croaked.

"Are you sure?" He asked softly.

"Yeah." She tried to say, but it only came out as a weird grumble. She nodded to assure him and he let go slowly. Having had her eyes shut tight, she struggled to open them through her sticky tears. When they finally opened, she guiltily studied the map of wet tear marks on his cotton t-shirt.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Your t-shirt is ruined."

"Don't worry about it." He said, turning away and making his way to the kitchen. He got her a glass of water and she gulped it down thirstily. "How about I make you some hot tea while you get freshened up?"

She tiredly made her way to one of the washrooms and stood, gingerly clutching the wash basin counter. Looking at the mirror was obviously a bad mistake. She looked nothing like the pretty-crying characters in a movie. Her whole face was red and her eyes were bloodshot. Twisting open the faucet, she splashed some water onto her face. Having cried for so long without a pause, her nose was stuffy and her cheeks were streaked with tear stains.

By the time she returned back to his living room, he had changed his shirt and had tidied up the couch. Placed on the tea table was a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits. She thanked him gratefully for the tea and felt her throat tingle as the warm liquid soothed it.

"You were right." She said, sipping her tea. "You were right about him all along."

"Come on, Jia. Now is not the time to think about that." He said, sitting close next to her.

"I didn't see it coming at all." She spoke genuinely. How could she? Heartbreaks and sadness had always been a foreign emotion to her so far. She'd read about it plenty and had even watched her friends go through it. But she had never imagined it as a tangible emotion that could affect her. If she loved him so devotedly, wasn't it only natural that he did the same? She had never bothered to comprehend the fact that it took two people to make a relationship work. She knew it all well theoretically, but in actuality, the thought hurt more than it should. It hurt horribly that she had compromised, gave in and adjusted, only for him to easily shove it all out of the window. That particular feeling sucked. "I am so stupid."

Even amidst all the horrible feeling, she was grateful for one thing. She was glad that it had all gone wrong before sleeping with him. She couldn't even imagine how horrible it would have been, had it happened the other way around. That regret would have been unbearable. She shuddered at the thought and let the tiny little reassurance calm her vastly anguished self.

"How did you uh-" he started slowly. "No. Never mind. Later." He shook his head.

"How did I find out?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's nothing. We'll talk about it later."

For the first time, she smiled faintly. "Don't worry, I'm not going to cry anymore." She said resolutely. "His ex was hiding in his bedroom when I got there."

"Yikes." He said, chugging down the last of his tea.

"All the lying, ditching and the silences. I should've guessed something was off. But I thought it was just how he was." She said, setting her cup down. "But I'm done crying about him now. I've cried enough."

"You and I know both know that's not true." He said, breaking a biscuit into two. "It's not as easy as we think it is."

Jia sighed. "I don't have the guts to face anyone." She said softly. "I feel so ashamed. It feels pathetic to admit that I knew nothing about the person I thought I knew everything about."

"I hear you. It sucks." He agreed. It was only then that Jia wondered how hard it must have been for him. Unlike herself, the whole school knew about him. The whole school had pried into his relationship, as though it was entitled to do so, just because Arden had been popular. She thought back to how he had kept a low profile right after his breakup. But no matter how much he had tried, people had still commented on him, making him feel like an outcast. Herself included, she thought guiltily.

She didn't know what to expect next. No matter how much she tried to deny it, it felt like there was a hole in her chest. No matter how much she tried to stop it, her heart ached when she thought of Yoongi's face. It had ended too soon. She felt terrible for not reading the warnings. "It will get better, won't it?" she asked hopefully.

"It won't be easy..." He shook his head.

"...But it will get better."   

A/N: HAPPY JIN DAY!!! 🥳💜
Also, Updating to make-up for the final day of the PTD concert. 🥺