Hey guys or girls so not many people read my book so I may not update as often ;)
-Ash

"Let her go Lou." Someone whispered.

I kept my eyes shut pretending to still be asleep.

"Why I wanna wake her up.". Lou whined.

I almost giggled but bit my lip to stop myself.

"Fine but if she gets mad at you not my problem." Liam said sighing and moving away.

"Ha-ha she won't she's my bestie!" Lou said happily. I heard them both walk away.
I opened my eyes and got up quietly tiptoeing over to the closet and going in shutting the door behind me.

"Ha-ha she is going to love this." Lou said." Where is she? Jessica Jessica?" Lou yelled sounding worried. He dropped something and walked towards the closet.

"Jessica are you in there." He asked coming closer. He opened the closet and I jumped out at him.

"Ahhh Jessica you scared me to death." He said jumping back.

"Haha serves you right you where gonna wake me up." I said laughing.

"Next time you want to wake someone up by scaring them try being a little quieter." I said." I heard you and woke up silly little tommo. " I ruffled his hair.

"Fine." He said pouting." I will be quieter next time." He had mischievous look in his eyes.

"Oh but next time I will be ready for you so bring it on." I said staring him down.

"Okay that's what you think." He said doing a maniac laugh which was actually very scary.

"Lou stop it your scaring me." I said backing away trembling.

"Oh Jessboo don't be scared." He said coming over and hugging me. I pulled away surprising myself.

He looked at me worry and surprise in his eyes. I turned and ran up the stairs ignoring his calls. I slammed my bedroom door and sank to the floor sobbing.

I couldn't ever keep a friendship sometimes little things like that made me remember my boyfriend and I got really scared. I felt really bad for probably ruining my friendship with Lou.

I put my head in my hands and cried. I got up wiped my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror my eyes where red and you could tell I had been crying. I sighed wrapping my arms around myself and sitting on my bed rocking back and forth. I was so scared he would come back, and it was ruining my relationships.

"Jessica can I come in?" Someone said softly knocking on my door.

"W-who is it." I stuttered still crying a little bit.

"Niall." He said.

"I guess." I said as long as it wasn't Lou or Harry I didn't care. He opened the door and came over to me shutting it behind him.

"Jessica what's wrong?" He asked. Sitting down and pulling me into him. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Ev-everything." I said and burst into tears soaking his shirt.

"If you need someone to talk to I'm here okay?" He asked rubbing circles on my back.

"Ok its just I keep thinking everyone is going to turn into him." I ended up crying again

"Shhh don't cry love its alright." He whispered. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes.

"Are you ready to talk to Lou?" He asked.

I shook my head no." I probably ruined our friendship because of one stupid mistake I'll never have any friends." I said sniffing.

"That's not true I'm your friend am I not?" He asked.

I looked up into his clear blue eyes they where filled with worry." Yes but wait till I mess it up." I said.

"Jessica nothing you do will make me stop being friends with you and I'm sure Lou is still friends with you." He said.

"Ok and thank you Niall I really needed someone to talk to tell the boys I'll be down in a few hours I'm going to rest." I said trying to make my lie look as realistic as I wanted it to.

"Sure." He said kissing my forhead and hugging me. Yes he bought it I felt terrible lying to him.

He got off the bed and went out closing the door behind him.

I went to the bathroom adjoined to my room and got out my blade. I rolled up my shirt and pushed it into my wrist. Everything my boyfriend had said to me came back and I put it to my wrist again and again crying. I put the razor away and washed all the blood off my wrist the water stung but I enjoyed the pain. I dried my wrist and pulled down my shirt. I looked at my wrist one more time before I broke down sobbing I couldn't help from cutting myself I just felt so worthless and this was the only way I could cope with it. I had never told anyone about cutting myself nobody knows except me.

I turned off the light and went over to my room flopping on my bed. I got out my new phone and turned on one direction their music was actually really good. They had really good voices I really liked Niall's voice it was calming to listen too. I turned up the volume and set my phone on the nightstand. I sang along to little things and some other songs that calmed me down. After I had listened to three songs I got bored. I got up turned the music off and got my guitar out.

I googled little things guitar chords. Surprisingly I found them without to much trouble. I sat on the edge of my bed and put my guitar on my knee.

I played the chords singing. I just finished and felt really calmed down. I put my guitar away I guess I should go down to talk to Lou. They are probably wondering where I am.
I pocketed my phone and went out in the hall gathering the courage to go downstairs.
I took a deep breath and went down the steps. I walked into the living room to find them playing truth or dare.

"Umm Hi." I said not sure what else to say.

They all looked up at me. I looked at Lou he didn't look mad he actually looked quite happy and I wondered why.

"Oh hey Jessica." Niall said breaking the awkward silence.

"What you guys doing?" I asked even though I already knew.

"Playing truth or dare want to join us?" Harry asked smiling at me.

"Sure I guess." I said wondering what I was getting myself into truth or dare with the boys was usually very... Interesting.

"Here take a seat." Liam said patting the empty seat beside him.

"Okay." I said sitting hesitantly it was right beside Lou and across from Niall.

"So I was just going." Lou said not looking at me.

"Since you just came Jessica truth or dare?" He asked me.

"I guess truth." I said lou had some pretty nasty dares.

"Ok do you like Niall at all?" He asked me smirking.

"A little." I said blushing.

"Awww you're so cute when you blush." Lou said looking at me. That made me blush even more and he just laughed.

Harry frowned at me and glared at Niall. What was his problem. I was going to ask him later. We played for a good twenty more minutes.

"Guys I'm bored can we have lunch?" Niall asked of course.

"Sure buddy I'll make it." Harry said getting up and leaving.

"Yeah let's go Liam." Niall said grabbing Liam's hand leaving me and Lou alone in the room.

"So er sorry about earlier." I said awkwardly.

"It's fine ok?" He asked.

"So you're not like mad at me." I asked surprised." We're still friends?"I asked him hoping he would say yes.

"Of course Jessboo and I know that's not all you have to tell me." He said suddenly serious.

I looked away he could tell from my eyes I was guilty.

"Tell me Jessica." He said softly.

I looked into his worried eyes. "Well uh I did this." I said rolling up my sleeve and showing him my cuts. I looked away embarrassed.

"Why Jessica?" He asked sadly.

"Well because it seems like I'm always a bother." I said. "And nobody cares about me much." I whispered trying not to cry.

"You know that's not true Jess we all love you very much even if you are sometimes scared of us we understand we'll never be mad at you." He said. He hugged me and I hugged him back.

"Please don't tell the other boys?" I asked him.

"I won't but you need to soon." He said pulling away and looking at me.

"I will thank you so much Lou I'm not ready to tell them yet." I said. I guess I just experienced the calm side of Lou and the good advice side of him.

"Ok but don't keep lying and saying you're all right.". He said seriously.

"Ok I won't ." I said." Ready to go eat?"

"Of course Jessboo." He said picking me up and taking me to the kitchen back to his normal crazy self.

So hope you liked
I nobody commented on the last chapter so I'm dedicating this to @LiamsArrows_ she is a really nice beautiful smart funny girl please follow her
Hope you guys keep reading
-all the love Ash