My sleep was tortured with nightmares and flashbacks. I tossed and turned the whole night barely sleeping for more then half an hour at a time.

When morning came I was more tired then when I had gone to sleep. I took a long shower to wake myself up more, which succeeded a little. I got dressed into sweats and a big T-shirt. I didn't feel like going anywhere, and I certainly wasn't dressed to impress.

I did put some makeup on, but only to cover the bags under my eyes that were quite noticeable. I tidied up my room for a bit, and then flopped on my bed.

I turned on some tunes that fit my mood and just layed there. I was there for a good hour or so before I heard a knock on my door.

I sighed and paused my music before standing up and walking to the door. I plastered a smile on my face, and pulled open the door.

"Hey Jess, just seeing if you're good. I can get you some breakfast if you want." Niall said with a smile.

"Hey, I'm good thanks for the offer though." I lied smiling back." I already ate this morning."

"Okay, well I guess I'll go then." He waved before turning around and heading back to his room.

I softly shut my door, and started crying. I couldn't even tell my boyfriend the truth. I wasn't okay, not that anyone knew that. I felt trapped inside myself. All my emotion was stuck inside the walls of my mind. That I had built, I didn't know how to let them down. How to really let someone in.

I sank down against the door my head in my hands while softly crying. I sat there a while, even after the tears had dried on my face. I knew I needed to go out sometime, but I really felt like staying in my room all day.

I took a shaky breath and pushed myself up. I wiped my eyes, and reapplied my concealer which had run down my face.

You can do this. I told myself trying to gain some confidence for the day ahead. It was already 11:00 and my stomach was growling from the missed breakfast. I slipped some soft socks on my feet and headed out.

The house was pretty quiet which was unusual. Come to think of it, I hadn't heard Louis yelling all morning which made me curious as to why. He normally would be up and loud by now.

I walked downstairs and spotted the back of Niall's head as he was sitting on the couch. He turned around at the sound of me walking.

"Hey! Care to join me?" He asked gesturing towards the empty spot beside him.

"Actually I was going to go for a run or walk." The idea had just popped into my head, but exercising would definitely make me feel better.

"Mind if I join you then?" He switched off the TV.

"Of course." I grabbed myself an apple and bit into it. Apples were amazing I thought as I munched on the crisp, juicy fruit." Let me just go and out some sneakers on." I said going back upstairs.

"Okay I'll be here."

I slipped on my running shoes and changed into a tank top and sports bra. I left my sweatpants on as they weren't very heavy.

Niall was filling two water bottles when I walked back into the kitchen.

"Thanks." I said grabbing the one already filled and twisting the cap on.

"Your welcome. Ready to go?" He asked looking at my hair. What's wrong with it? Oh, right. It would probably be a good idea to pull it up off my neck.

"Yeah just a sec." I grabbed the band off my wrist and pulled my hair into a high ponytail.

We headed out and down the sidewalk. We started at a walk, but quickly picked it up till we were jogging. Niall was in pretty good shape so he had no problem keeping up. We ran for a few minutes then took it back down to a jog.

We jogged the rest of the way around the block. I had to stop a few times to use my inhaler, but other then that it was good.

We were currently walking around the block to cool down.

"Wow you're in really good shape." Niall said out of breath.

"Thanks so are you."

"Not so much. I didn't know you had an inhaler." He said gesturing to it as I pocketed it.

"Yeah, I don't use it much, but when I run it gets bad. Or when I'm in a panic."

"Interesting." He said with a smile.

"Yep."

We continued talking the rest of the way around the block, and by the time we arrived back at the house my heart rate was back to normal. I certainly felt better then before emotionally.

I took a sip emptying the remaining contents of my water bottle. We headed inside to grab some lunch considering it was almost noontime.

"What do you want?" Niall asked opening the fridge and peering inside.

"I don't care. What do we have in there?" There was probably some leftovers we could eat up.

"Well... We have some pizza and a grilled cheese. Oh never mind just the pizza, the grilled cheese says ' don't touch, if touched death will occur." He laughed as he finished reading the grilled cheese writing.

"Mmmm let me guess Louis?" I couldn't help, but laugh. The note was so absurd and funny.

"I don't know it's signed L so I would assume Louis, unless you could see Liam doing this."

"Nope, definitely Louis. Speaking of him where is he?" I wondered, come to think of it I hadn't seen or heard him all morning which was quite unusual.

"He's sick in bed with a stomach bug."

"Oh that sucks." I said sympathetically.

"Yeah... But hey at least it'll spare our hearing for one day though." He shrugged as if to prove his point.

"Very true." I nodded, Louis was amazing and sweet, but sometimes he was a little loud.

He placed the cold pizza in the microwave and started it up. While it warmed up he grabbed two plates from the cupboard and placed them in the counter.

The microwave dinged and he pulled open the door. He set the pizza in the two plates and handed one to me.

"Here you go love." He said with a smile.

******

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~Ash❤