It was like everything was a feverish dream. And it was slithering through this fingers, like sand in the wind.

Nico bit his lip, feeling as stiff as rock. How could he have let this happen? After everything he had promised?

Don't make promises you can't keep.

Maybe he should have listened.

He took out the keys from his pocket, twisting the lock open as Percy wandered after him through the door, looking a little lost, looking a little found.

"Do you want some water?" Nico asked, trying to sound as gentle as possible. He didn't want to shake him more than he was already shaken. His green eyes looked faraway, stuck on a horizon further than sight can reach.

Percy acquiesced with a nod, but he still didn't make eye contact, as if he was almost... frightened. Nico's chest tightened. He had said he was going to be his guardian angel. But he didn't even feel like one. He couldn't even keep danger out of the way. He had been blind to all the obstacles still standing in their way.

"You can go to my— our room first, if you want. I'll prepare lunch." he murmured, reaching out to brush their fingers together. But if it was to comfort Percy or himself, he didn't know.

"Okay..." Percy whispered, the first words he had said since they returned. It was like he was in shock; in disbelief. But Nico couldn't blame him. How could he? It had just been brought to their attention who was behind it all, and even his own father had kept it a secret from them.

They would have to talk when they get home. Why did his father have to go to work again? Weren't they more important. "Shit." he cursed under his breath. Percy's mom was gone to wherever again, and they were home alone, not knowing when anybody would come back.

"We'll get through this... o-okay? We will. I—" Nico stammered, shaken. He was going to promise it again. But he couldn't. Not anymore. Not when he felt like lying again.

"...I love you." he murmured, looking into Percy's eyes hopefully. Was he going to look back?

Percy's lips tugged upwards for the slightest of moments before he squeezed Nico's hand and left, his footsteps getting quieter with each step up. "I'll see you later, then, I guess." the brown-eyed boy thought, leaving his hand open as if Percy's fingers were still interlaced with his.

*   *   *

"Percy?" Nico asked, a glass of water in hand. He opened the door slightly, and saw Percy laying on the bed, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. 

He noticed his fingers sliding against the keyboard. "Were you talking to someone?" he inquired, feeling strangely empty inside. What was this feeling?

Percy sighed. "No... I don't know what to do. I mean, I still have piles of homework I didn't finish, and we're almost halfway through the break. I feel like I should tell someone. I should, right? Piper, Jason... Leo... They still don't know, right? And the teachers?"

Nico smiled reassuringly, despite feeling even more nerve-wracked than him. "Percy, it's your choice. But when our parents come back, you should probably ask them to tell the teachers. It's unfair that you have to deal through all of the homework and all of... this. But, if it's about our friends, you should decide that yourself. I don't want to push you to make a decision you will regret in the end."

The green-eyed boy looked up, his tangled hair falling into his gaze. He put the phone down."Thank you, Nico. It means a lot."

Nico felt like breaking. He was too fragile. Maybe he was made of glass.

"Here." he said, handing the cup of water to Percy. As their fingers slid against the others, Nico sat next to him, fiddling with his fingers. What could he say now? He needed to comfort him. They were together. He had to be a good boyfriend.

Boyfriend. What a strange word. Nico felt as if they had gone through so much more, that even the word boyfriend was not enough to describe what they had.

But what if it was fantasy? What if this was all some feverish dream, and he would wake up and everything would be gone? He turned towards Percy.

And seeing those green eyes, he knew he had to be strong. Not just for him, but for Percy too. Because he needs to be here. He can't expect others to take initiative anymore. He has to be there, to fix everything. He has to.

He took a deep breath. "I-I know the world feels like it's crumbling sometimes. I know it feels like you can never wake up from this perpetual nightmare. I know I could never fully understand what you've been through, but you can. You can, and you know how dark the night can get. But the sun will always rise over the horizon. Good things take time. And I hope you know. You're worth more than any gold, Percy. Please. I can't bear to see you like this. You're enough. Life will continue pushing you down. But you have to get back up again. Please, for you, for your mother... for me."

He hated that he was begging right now. But this bittersweet feeling was one he could not get rid of. "I love you. Please. I wouldn't survive if you never smiled again. I know you feel alone in your head. I know how it feels like to be lost, cut away from everything else. And you've helped me realise what it's like not to be. Please, let me help you too." Nico cupped his hand gently in his, trying to warm Percy's cold fingers.

"I love you. And you're not alone. I'll help you through this all. But you have to be strong, Percy." Tears slid down his cheeks as he buried his head in the crook of his neck, careful not to spill the water in his hand. "I can't bear to see you like this. Please, please, please. Come back. I can't do this without you."

The taste of defeat was bland on his tongue. He shut his eyes close, tensing up as he prepared himself for the next sob wrecking through his body.

"Please..."

Distantly, he heard the sound of a cup being set down, and suddenly he felt arms go around him.

"I'll try my best. But you have to be there for me, too." Percy whispered, his voice raspy and raw.

"Yeah, I'll try my best!" Nico sobbed incoherently into Percy's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his neck as he fell down on the sheets with him, their lips locking into a sincere kiss, the bittersweet taste of love blending with the salty taste of tears.

"I love you, and I can't even describe how much."

"Me neither," Nico laughed as the warmth engulfed them.

*   *   *

"Nico? Percy? Are you home?"

"Huh?" Nico groaned slightly as he set his phone down. He glanced around, getting accustomed to the dim lighting in the room.

The sheets shuffled under his touch. He looked down and saw black hair spread out against the pillows. 

"Good evening, Percy." he murmured as he bent down to press a soft kiss on his lips, careful not to wake him up. The older teenager replied with incoherent sounds and snuggling closer to his side. Nico felt his heart squeeze. Running fingers through his raven black hair one last time, he slithered out of bed, grabbed his phone and ran down the stairs. "Yes?"

His father was standing at the entrance of the house, setting his coat down. "Oh, Nico, there you are! I was wondering where you were. Is Percy okay?"

Nico put a smile on his face, trying to bury the mixed feelings in his stomach. He felt sick.

"Sure, he's fine." he lied. But immediately he felt guilty about it. Should he tell his father what's on his mind? How he knows about the things he's hidden from them? About Gaia, her father...?

"That's a relief to hear." his father chuckled. Nico swallowed, fidgeting with his fingers. He couldn't exactly be mad at him. It's not like he hadn't spent his entire life hiding everything from everyone. Wouldn't it be hypocritical if he was irritated by a white lie?

"I have a question to ask..." he began, wondering if Percy would want to be part of this conversation. But at the same time, he needed his well-deserved rest...

"Yes, son?" Hades asked, heading towards the living room. Nico glanced outside, noticing the sun already setting. How long had he been out? He thought about the remainders of the spaghetti he had made in the fridge.

He took a deep breath. "Was anybody else... involved in this whole situation. With Percy's ex-stepfather? ...Everything?" he asked, feeling his throat get tight. Even a sorry wouldn't save him now.

His father stopped in his tracks. "So... you knew?" he inquired.

Nico felt scared. He had always gotten scared by moments like these, where the pressure felt like it could make you crumble apart. How it feels like you can't breathe and the tears just won't stop coming... and how everyone would react to that...

"I'm not mad— I just want to know why? Why would you hide this from me— from us? Percy has the right to know who hurt him!" He swallowed, he couldn't stop now. His voice was shaking. But he has gone through this. He knows how this feels. He knows the pain. "Yeah, it's painful! But it's even worse not knowing what hit you! What you have done to make people hate you! I can't speak for Percy but I know how it feels to be lied to. Gaia— I'm not sure what happened, but we have a right to know! Why she would hurt us— why she would—"

That's it. He had went too far. The imaginary boundary he had crossed way too many times. When you're screaming so hard your throat becomes raw and your hands clammy and your eyes red. He could taste the tears on his lips. "Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.

"Oh, Nico." Hades reached out and enveloped him in his arms. "This girl Gaia... she doesn't know. Her father had never been human to her. I guess you know he's locked up... it's because he had threatened, physically and mentally his family."

But Nico wasn't listening. This feeling, of being hugged this way, it was one he hadn't felt in a long time. And was it his fault? That he had wasted so much time feeling lonely? He had missed so much great things because he was sad. He hadn't realised he had his entire life in front of him. This kind of warmth, in the arms of a parent... he missed it. He grabbed onto his father's shoulders, as if it was the only thing keeping him awake at the moment.

"I actually met Gaia's mother today. She's a fine woman. I hope her and her daughter will be able to heal from this. All these horrible things that I knew nothing about... they're going away now. Slowly... but surely. Nico, I hope you realise, these people are going to become happy... and it's because you helped them."

Helped them? Nico felt the guilt entering his bloodstream. He hadn't helped anyone. He had just been in the right place at the right time. He wasn't a hero. He certainly didn't feel like one.

He had punched Gaia. A girl that he had no idea that she just didn't know what kindness was, because she had never experienced it. He had screamed at Percy. A boy he didn't know suffered as much as he did every single day.

Nico was selfish. That's what he understood from this.

He thought his life was bad. He hadn't seen life from anybody else's point of view.

"I didn't help them." he sobbed, gasping for air. "I'm not the hero in this story. I'm selfish. I can't help anyone but myself."

His father pressed him in closer. "You're not selfish. You wished people had better lives than the one you're living. And that's not wrong."

"Your dad's right."

Nico had never left someone's arms so quick. "Percy?" he asked. "Aren't you supposed to be asleep—?"

The green-eyed boy wrapped his arms around him and pressed him tightly against his chest. "You're not selfish, Nico. Please don't put yourself down like that. I wouldn't be here without you. Please, now be here for us too. For me."

With a start, Nico realised his shirt was getting wet. Was Percy crying? Had he been listening this whole time? He felt like falling apart all over again. Hades seemed surprised, but took his leave as he noticed the two teenagers needed some time alone.

"Listen, please. You're much more than just 'Nico' to me. You're everything. You're the reason I want to wake up in the morning. You're the image of happiness in my head. You can't expect me to leave, because I don't want to." Percy's hands trailed down his back. "And I won't."

Nico knew he should say something. He needed to. Because the only thing he wanted to do right now was sleep all his worries away in Percy's arms. But he felt paralysed, the words he wanted to say stuck in his throat.

So he did nothing. He said nothing as Percy held on to him tighter. "I love you."

It was as those words awoke something in him. Nico closed his eyes. "I love you.

You're the only one I'm ever going to love."

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.･:*

wow... this was very rushed, and it's very messy.

i apologise! i felt like writing some angst. still around five chapters before i end this book! i'll see you guys at the epilogue, if i'm still alive then!

please don't restrain yourselves from reminding me in a week that i need to update this story... it just seems to leave my mind sometimes.
again, your comments just make my day sometimes! so thank you to DarkRosalia for constantly helping me through and through :)
i hope you have a great day. also, if you're old enough to vote in the usa, please VOTE!! we need to eliminate trump now more than ever!! every vote counts!!

- deniiial