Percy wasn't a shameless guy.

Most people assumed he lived carelessly, which in some ways, he did, almost expecting every day would be his last. 

That didn't mean he could respond with a sly smile to any remark, or stay calm during all situations.

Especially not now.

Did Nico know this yet? Percy found himself unable to reply.

Nico was one of the only few people who saw his true self. The part of him he had always kept closed away. The same thoughts had always ran around his mind.

Don't let them see you cry.

Don't let them see your scars.

Don't let them know you.

And he tried. But that Friday night, down on the dance floor, up in Piper's room, he had found himself with Nico.

Nico... The boy he hadn't gave much thought for, he'd admit. But he had a good reason why.

When he first met him, he had no idea in what kind of state he'd put his heart in. But soon the short, dark-haired, brown-eyed boy had stole his heart, and Percy realised he was catching feelings.

For two years he had gotten closer to him, and back in kindergarten, he had built up enough courage to confess indirectly his feelings by giving him a rose. But Nico hadn't caught on. A year after that, they didn't talk anymore. For the simple fact that Percy wanted to get over his unrequited feelings. His messed-up feelings. Weren't boys supposed to like girls, and girls supposed to like boys? Why did he like both? Why did Nico's smile turn his insides to mush? Why did Calypso's laugh make his heart skip a beat?

In his first year of high school, Percy learned about the term "bisexual" for the first time. 

And for once, he felt understood. But he had buried Nico too far down in his mind, to the point where he had succeeded into forgetting him.

Until that party. 

"It's your turn, Nico."

"Hey, it's okay, I don't bite."

"What's up, Nico? Am I not a good kisser?"

"Y-you're just not my type."

"Oh."

For some reason, his heart had sank.

And now, he knew why.

Earlier, under that lighting on the dance floor, he had remembered. Unconsciously, all the memories he had stored away of his beautiful smile, his beautiful laugh, his beautiful eyes, all of it, had came back.

He had remembered how much he loved him.

But he hadn't had that bubbly feeling in his stomach for so long that he had forgotten what it meant. What love was.

Percy was used to people calling him a ladies' man, or even a playboy.

But the truth was he hasn't dated anyone before. At parties, during games or when he accidentally got drunk (because he was always careful to stay sober to go back to his apartment), he knew he kissed a lot of different people. Guys, girls, enbies...

He never knew why he did it. To make up for the affection he lacked? To make his mind stray away from his problems? To get lost in the sensation?

He didn't always remember the people he kissed. 

But he had remembered Nico. Nico only had lingered in his thoughts afterwards.

Because he was scared of letting him go. Not a second time. Never again. 

"Hey..." 

Nico spun around on his swivel chair, cocking his head in the cute way he did. His cheeks were flushed, and standing from the doorframe, Percy couldn't see what he was doing.

"Yes?" the brown-eyed boy asked, sounding as if somebody stole his breath away.

Percy suddenly remembered that drunken night on the rooftop.  "What about you, Nico?"

"It's impolite to steal my breath like that."

He blushed. "What'cha doing?" he inquired, trying to sound nonchalant.

Nico blushed even harder, covering his arms over what seemed like an open notebook. "Uh, just writing in my diary." he said meekly, avoiding Percy's gaze.

The green-eyed boy turned a little pink. Could it be he was writing about me...? No, that's too much to hope for. Unless...?

He didn't know how to reply. He didn't even know why he walked in Nico's room in the first place. Obviously, they were going to sleep on the same bed, but it seemed a little early to him. It was like some force had drawn him here. It felt like... they were a couple. Sharing sweet nothings as they held each other to slumber, hearing each other's hearts beat. And it felt a little weird. But a good weird.

"Are we going to wait for your dad or are we going to...?" he asked, leaving the question open-handed.

Nico looked hesitant. "We can wait for him on the stairs, if you'd like. Just, u-uh... give me a minute, and I'll join you in a few."

Percy sighed in relief. "Sure." he breathed out, feeling a little dizzy as well. Turning around to walk out the door, he tried his best to ignore his heart beating hard against his ribcage.

He knew he had felt unsure about his feelings. He had been refusing Nico ever since he arrived, even though his entire being was burning for him. He wanted to kiss those lips he had dreamt of countless times, he wanted to hold him like he was never going to let him go, he wanted them to grow old together, he wanted them to be happy. He wanted to make Nico happy.

He had been doubting himself. Was he really the one? His insecurities had stopped him from confessing on the spot. He had too much unresolved conflict inside him. When he looked within, he could only feel turmoil. But now, he felt at peace. And hopefully, Nico did too. Because Percy had never felt more sure of himself. He didn't want to be with anyone but him.

He sat on the stairs' steps, leaning down to hug his knees. What were they even going to do here? Talk, and make the night turn out like it had yesterday? He felt Gabe's beatings sting on his skin.

He didn't want to make Nico feel like he was using him as a distraction. Because truthfully, he was the only one that made him feel safe and sane right now. People always used to say ghosts had an anchor on Earth, and that's why they never left to the other world. Whether it was owing a debt, or leaving someone behind, they wandered, but they were never lost.

Percy felt like that. Nico was his anchor, because he was sure of one thing.

He loved him.

"Hey..." Nico whispered, sitting beside him shyly, hunching his shoulders a little.

"Hey," Percy breathed out, knowing if he tried to say more, the words were going to get stuck in his throat. 

The brown-eyed boy brushed his tousled hair behind his ear. "Um... right." He glanced away, blush filling his cheeks. Percy smiled unknowingly. And it was so, so silent... just the way he hoped it'd be.

He hugged his elbows. He was wearing one of the other shirts Nico had found too big, this time a casual dark grey tee. He had also borrowed one of Hades' khaki shorts, since his son had said they were way too small for him anyways. Percy didn't know whether to feel weirdly flattered or awkward wearing the Underworld's C.E.O.'s clothes.

Nico had also changed his bandages that morning. The green-eyed boy still felt a little ashamed, to be truthful. He never liked to look at his body. Whether it was the band-aids slipping off, the scars, the bruises... his skin had endured so much. Percy didn't tell Nico yet, but he was actually going to the hospital for a check-up as well the day after.

But Nico... Nico looked at him like he was everything. The scars didn't bother him. His gentle touch was so different from his stepfather that he just wanted to lean into it, so he could get lost in the sensation forever.

"I'm sorry." Percy finally said. "For everything. The trouble I caused. I know you don't like me saying this, but I have to get it out. Nico, you've done so much for me. I don't know how to repay you. After everything I've said...." He thought about the night on the rooftop, the parties that were all steps to a change. "...After everything I've done, you still stuck with me... to the very end."

Nico looked on the verge of crying. "I have never let you go, Percy."

His fingers were tangled together in a pile on his lap. His deep brown eyes were clouded, his lips pulled tight, as if he was refraining himself. "I won't ever let you go."

Percy's heart seemed to squeeze. He choked a breath out, chuckling a little sadly. "Thanks."

But tears were running down Nico's face. Percy was perplexed. Had he said something wrong? Culpability hit him like a punch to the chest.

"You can't do this to me, Percy. Not again. It hurts too much. Because you don't know. But you deserve to."

The green-eyed boy felt the foreboding like spider webs on the skin. He shivered. He would run away again if things turned out wrong, for the fourth time.

"I love you, Percy. I have loved you for years, but you never seemed to notice. I didn't think much of my feelings until you left me. And that was my first heartbreak. It was like you broke up with me, even if we weren't even together back then. But from there on, I tried not to chase you anymore. But somehow, I always found myself closer to you. Whether it was your friends befriending me, or the times you'd catch my eye in class. I tried to put the feeling away. The butterflies in my stomach when you'd bump into me in the corridor and apologise. The flutters in my chest when our fingers brushed while handing papers. The warmth spreading throughout my whole body when you kissed me that night. All of it happened, yet we're acting like it never did. Why? Did you lead me on to believe that there may be a chance? Unknowingly, unwittingly, you were my lifelong goal. I love you, Percy. It all started when we were kids, but I've never stopped. I was always looking back, when you were always looking ahead. We were so different, yet I fell deep anyways. You are the image of perfection in my mind. But you keep putting yourself down, and I don't think I can handle this anymore, Perce."

Percy's eyes widened. Nico had loved him too... all this time? He tried to comprehend his feelings. He felt relief, but also guilt. He had forgotten him, but Nico had held on to him all this time?

"I— I don't know what to say...." he said, burying his head in his shoulder, wrapping his arms around Nico's tiny frame. "I don't deserve you."

The brown-eyed boy sobbed into his shoulder, smiling as he hiccuped. "You idiot..." He hugged Percy back.

"I can't stand seeing you in pain. Not knowing you were going through this all this time... I can't. It was just a crush, Percy. Just a crush. Until you kissed me that night. You pulled me in, and I can't get out. I don't want to get out. I love you too much for that. Gods, I'll regret this. But you deserve to know. I love you so much." Nico choked out.

Percy leaned out of their embrace, tears running down his face as well. "Y-You're the only one I want, Nico."

Nico had been kissed twice in his life. Both, when he was unprepared, scared of someone so close to him. Both, by the same person. Both, by the love of his life. This time, he wasn't scared. This time, he wasn't going to run away.

"You're the only one who could ever fit me, Percy."

But the black-haired boy bit his lip, the tears running into his mouth tasting like salt. "But I've done so much wrong things in my life. I've messed up so bad. You deserve more... you deserve better, Nico."

Nico scowled, but then his eyes softened like he just couldn't stay mad at him. "I've made mistakes too, you know. But you— you're much more than that. You're stronger than anyone I know. You've fell down so many times in your life, but every single time you got back up again. That's where your strength lies. Your real inner strength. It doesn't matter how much mistakes you've made, as long as you learn from them and fix it. You're just too good to put yourself down like this. We're all humans. Your life is your body. You get through stuff, and you get over it. Sometimes you break down, but it's your choice whether or not you'll piece yourself back up. Your scars, they show what you've been through. What both of us have been through. And that makes us warriors. And you, one of the strongest."

Percy's eyes widened. "You're selfless, you're strong, you're brave. That's what makes you a hero. You haven't messed up anything but my own feelings, really." Nico carried on, hiccuping a laugh.

"I—" Percy stuttered. "Nico, you're truly one of the most amazing people I know. I don't, I— I will always be there for you. Whether you're okay with it or not. Because I care about you. I..."

He swallowed down his fear, and finally, he said those three words. The ones Nico have been waiting for. The ones he has been waiting for. "...I love you."

Nico gasped.

The green-eyed boy leaned in, his shallow breaths landing on his cheek as he trembled, whether in anticipation or nervousness, he didn't know. Percy had taught him not to be ashamed of himself. He had taught him he had never been alone. And he will never be again, now.

Their lips met with a surprising gentleness Nico wasn't accustomed to. He gasped a little, feeling his entire body fill will an emotion he had never felt before. It was as if Percy had the key to the lock that had been closed for his entire life. This... was so different than all the other ones. The first one had been emotionless. The second one had been more than emotions. And this one was... bringing back memories, both from the future and the past. Like all the stars dotting the sky had been brewed into one kiss.

The unshed tears tangled in Percy's eyelashes fluttered against his cheek as they smiled and giggled against each other's lips, as if time had stopped forever. Everything else faded into the background, until it was only them. He had never known this day would happen. It was too perfect.

But it was just like he hoped it'd be.

Not really knowing where to put his hands, Nico just slung them around Percy's neck, feeling a little awkward. But the feeling dissipated as Percy laughed between their lips, their tears mixing together as he hoisted him onto his lap, their kiss breaking for a moment. Nico was laughing like he had never before. Pausing to catch his breath or cry, but this time, it was tears of happiness.

And Percy had never felt this way before. Gazing into Nico's eyes, that were just filled with so much love that the flame inside him seemed to turn into a wildfire. "Gods, I love you. So much." said the green-eyed boy, wanting to close the distance between them again. 

So he did.

Their lips slid against each other again, the touch like cool water as Percy whispered "I love you's" on his lips again and again, until he felt like he was drowning in time itself. "Just say you won't let go." Nico murmured against him, their foreheads touching as Percy's hands ran at his sides. 

"I promise I'll never let you go. I'll love you till my lungs give out. I can't believe it, Nico. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me." He ran his hands through his hair.

Nico laughed, still crying, as one of the green-eyed boy's hands slid under his shirt. "Is it?"

"It is."

Percy wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer until he could rest his head on Nico's chest, hearing his heart beat out of place. "I thought I'd never have the courage to tell you. I thought I'd grow out of it. But I never did. That must have meant something, right...?" the dark-haired boy asked, taking in a deep breath. Did Percy's legs hurt? Was he sitting on one of his bruises by accident?

"I loved you too, back then, you know? But I forced myself to forget you when we reached a certain age. I didn't want to wallow in unrequited feelings. But I— I never thought you kept on holding on to me all this time. I don't deserve you. How can I ever repay you?" Percy asked.

Nico let out a shallow breath. "Stay, this time. Please, Percy. I don't think I could handle it if you left a second time. I want to stay with you until we've grown. Because I don't think I'll ever stop loving you."

Percy's heart skipped a beat. "I'll never stop loving you either. No matter what, Nico. I can't lose you again."

And it came crashing down on Nico again. He couldn't get enough of this. He leaned down, his anxiety making his heart beat faster and faster. Should he be doing this?

But his question was answered when Percy closed the small gap between them, as if they were a pulled in by a force greater than themselves. But this was love, wasn't it? 

"I love you, Percy." Nico whispered against his warm lips, for what seemed the millionth time that night, fighting to stay conscious when this all felt like some blissful reality. "I won't ever leave you again." 

He was starting to lose control of his breath, but if he was dying this way, he couldn't be more satisfied. Nico had never wanted to get carried away. But for once, he was free of everything; his feelings, his past. So he let himself go.

He let himself be taken by the current of life. Him and Percy have came so far. They've grown so much together.

Nico closed his eyes. They'd be together now, helping each other through thick and thin. 

And only him could make him feel this way.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.･:*

guess who's not going to be able to sleep tonight!!!

anyways.... it's here. it's done. i've wrote it. edit (3 days later) I've changed it... lowkey inspired by the rayllum confession scene though lmao
but thank you for the support! i would have never made it this far without you guys.

see you guys next chapter <3

- deniiial