Nico woke up with a starting headache blooming inside him, the pain feeling like a bullet through his skull.

He groaned as he lifted himself off his sheets, which smelled like sweat and sweet alcohol. 

Sitting up, he felt his head his head pound and spin as he strained to grasp for last night's memories. And slowly, they did.

But at a moment, everything just seemed to be blocked. He drank one cup, he danced with... Percy? And then, he brought him up on the rooftop, and they talked and talked, and...

Nothing.

He couldn't remember.

Clasping his hands to both sides of his head, he shut his eyes tightly, blindly grasping for an answer in this vast ocean of darkness. Struggling, his fingers tensed around him.

He recalled... talking about poetry. The fact that Percy liked that part of him, unlike what he had first thought. Nico had painted his feelings on his face, and the green-eyed boy had gladly added his own strokes. Bold, blind strokes.

And... favourite colours. Percy's mom made him blue food. Yet if he tried to remember more that that, he couldn't find anything. His mind was blank. A big blank painting.

He couldn't even remember what was his response. It was probably stupid, he had probably made a fool of himself... Nico ran his tongue over his teeth, blush creeping onto his pale cheeks. 

What had truly happened? He desperately hoped the alcohol didn't make him say things sober him wouldn't have dared said.

Enough thinking about yesterday, he told himself. Get a hang of yourself, today.

But Nico couldn't. Who had brought him in his house? He scanned around the room. There was a tall glass of water on his bedside table, and just underneath it, a small rushed scribbled note with two words standing out on it like tattoos on skin. Drink this.

He couldn't help it; his lips stretched into a smile. He wasn't used to being cared for like this. He swallowed down the water as he set back the empty class on the table. Nico then swung his legs over the edge of his bed, getting up.

The room looked intact. There was still littered pieces of clothing from when he was trying to choose for a party outfit. The jacket he had wore yesterday was slung over his desk chair, and his phone was plugged, fully charged. But who had done all this? Was it Piper? 

Or Percy? he thought hopefully.

With a jolt, he looked down at himself. He was still dressed in his clothes from the past day, but the two upper buttons of his dress shirt were open.

Turning around, he faced the mirror, apprehensive. His dark hair was incredibly tousled, like, way more than general. Little spikes shot up in every direction like baby bat wings. His skin was ghostly pale, and his hooded brown eyes looked tired. His long black lashes touched his cheeks, and his cheeks were flushed pink. The outfit he had wore was bedraggled, lines tracing the fabric everywhere.

He sighed as he felt his stomach churn. A slightly nauseous feeling filled him to the brim as he stumbled towards the bathroom, his bare feet thudding on the wooden floor.

He swung the tall door open as he felt his insides lurch. Quickly, he kneeled on the floor.

Needless to say, his stomach and head hurt a whole less more after that.

*   *   *

Nico sighed.

He seemed to be doing that a lot, today.

He had shrugged on an oversize black hoodie and ripped boyfriend jeans tinted a nice dark shade of grey. Glancing at the mirror again, Nico was pleased to see that his skin had regained most of its colour after he had emptied his stomach in the bathroom, and he could hear it grumble as hunger clawed at his throat. He liked the feather light brush of the material of his top touching his skin. He liked not feeling skinny jeans hugging his legs tightly anymore. It was almost enough to forget about facing the consequences of his actions.

The dark-haired boy had also taken a shower to feel more refreshed after a long night. He smelt of delicate rose petals, and he took a deep preparing breath before stepping out of his room, phone in hand.

The house was eerily quiet, as it was usually on weekend mornings. Nico had fifty unopened notifications from last night, and he was a little too scared to read them. His skin prickled with apprehension. The soft air made goosebumps erupt on his neck.

It was 9:03 AM, which meant his father would go to work in exactly twelve minutes.

He paused in the middle of the hallway. Should he wait until he departed to delay a father-to-son conversation, or stand up and be a man to face the consequences? Sweat beaded on his forehead.

He carefully ran over the options in his head, but his curiosity got the best of him. He needed answers, and he would only get them through his parents. A strangled breath escaped his lips as he tensed. He heard footsteps, and if he wasn't mistaken, they were coming towards him.

"Nico? Are you up?"

Oh.

"Um, good morning?" he awkwardly said, holding his arms tightly as he folded them over his chest, staring straight ahead. His father, already dressed up in his work suit, was just exiting his bedroom, putting on a blood red tie.

"Oh, Nico, good. You're awake." he said. His face was so unreadable, it looked like it could have carved out of stone.

The sleeves of his hoodie were rolled up, and Nico's fingers were starting to grip on both side of his arms in a vice-like grip. "Uh, hi."

His father sighed as he rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "Nico, we need to talk about yesterday."

Panic flared up through him like a wildfire. "Right, haha, about that—"

"Your friends brought you here." he interrupted. "Just thought you wanted to know."

"Who, Piper?" Nico asked, incredulous.

Nico's father approached him, putting his hands on each of his shoulders. Their height difference was so ridiculously wide, Nico felt like a child all over again. He wondered what it was like to be the gods' favourite, while he was stuck with his petite height. He was 16, for Pete's sake—

"Her, and another boy. He looked an awful lot like that Percy guy you used to be friends with." Hades said, but Nico didn't hear the rest of his sentence. Percy had brought him here? With Piper? He had a nagging feeling he shouldn't be surprised, but he was, he was.

"Oh, yeah. Him. Haha." he chuckled nervously, feeling his nails digging into skin, drawing blood.

"Son." His father took a deep breath. "What happened last night? You didn't even tell me, or Persephone about this party. We aren't mad, you know? Just..."

Just disappointed. The words hovered in the air between them, unspoken.

"You could have at least told us you were going out. We came home with no one there. We were worried sick! We had to call your friend Piper."

He called Piper?  he thought, stunned. What had his friend told him?

But if his father had seen his expression, he pretended not to. He carried on like nothing happened. "They brought you in, and you were unconscious. Drunk. She was the only one sober."

Sober? How could have Piper been the only sober? She usually was the one to arrive blackout drunk on his doorstep at 2 in the morning.

"Nico, promise me next time you'll tell us. We were scared, you know? And the alcohol..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "Please be careful next time. I hope you're fine." he said, patting his shoulder of emphasis.

"Okay, dad. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Nico murmured, looking down, heat blazing in his face. 

His father's face was edged with restrained stress, but the worry was clear in the crinkled lines around his fathomless black eyes. His spiky black hair looked like ink on paper, falling onto his corpse-like white skin.

"Take care, son."

And he took off, suitcase in hand, his car keys in the other.

"Bye, dad." Nico whispered, knowing his father couldn't hear him from so far away.

He sighed, finally letting out a breath he had been holding during their conversation. He supposed it could have been worse... but the scare it had given him couldn't heal the small beads of blood leaking from the wounds his nails had left on his arms. It hurt, but he felt so, so numb inside. Maybe that was why his anxiety led him to do this— giving himself pain outside to ease the pain inside. But sometimes, it just worsened both.

Walking down the stairs, he felt hollow as he heard the mechanical thunks of his sock-covered feet hitting each step. 

Nico quickly prepared himself a bowl of cereal as he let his mind drift off like a wavering spirit.

When he was done, he sat on his chair, finally unlocking his phone to discover the dreaded texts he had received too early in the morning or too late in the night.

Blush crept on his skin.

percy 
(11:58PM)
sorry, the party got kind of out of hand. piper drove us back home, in case you couldn't remember.

(11:59PM)
hope you're fine. left u a glass of water. take care, xoxo

Nico's eyes widened. What did the XOXO mean? Had something happened between them last night? Gods, he hoped not. He answered quietly before checking his other texts.

jason
(8:42AM)
um, saw piper drive u back home last night?? u ok, bud?

Oh gods, why was everyone worrying? He was fine. Didn't everybody pass out eventually after a party?

piper
(9:01PM)
where are u?? leo said you went to the rooftops with percy??

(9:01PM)
wyd??? where u @?

(11:12PM)
percy brought u downstairs, and said u fainted?? drove you both back home. u ok?

(8:31AM)
how you doing? drink the water, ok?? call ASAP!!! i want to know what the hell happened last night!

Nico smiled and rolled his eyes at the screen. He quickly typed out an answer.

nico 
(9:16AM)
i'm fine, thanks. i actually barely remember a thing from last night, but that means i probably had fun, right?

Piper immediately replied.

piper
(9:16AM)
right... running off with percy... i hope he didn't try anything though, yk, just in case.

nico
(9:17AM)
what the hell is that supposed to mean?

piper
(9:17AM)
oh, nothing. are u hurting anywhere??

nico
(9:17AM)
gods, no! i had a minor hangover, but i'm completely fine now! and you can thank percy for that.

piper
(9:18AM)
what for? the water?

nico
(9:18AM)
uh, duh. what else?

piper
(9:19AM)
pff, how am i supposed to know?

(9:19AM)
you were there. why don't you tell me?

nico
(9:19AM)
ughhhhhh

(9:20AM)
thanks, anyways. you know, for driving me back home. i don't want to think about what might have happened if you weren't there. so... there.

piper
(9:20AM)
no problem. though, percy looked very flustered. don't know what had gotten into him.

nico
(9:20AM)
idk. pretty girl rejected him?

piper
(9:21AM)
don't think so. he acted like that mostly around you. not like that means anything, though.

nico
(9:21AM)
jeez, piper. always trying to rub it in my face. it's not like he likes me. 

Nico paused, biting his bottom lip. Not the way I like him.

piper
(9:22AM)
hmm

(9:22AM)
well, those hardest to love sometimes need it most

(9:22AM)
welp, gtg! cya :)

She disappeared, and Nico put his phone down onto the table. His cereal had gone soggy. He groaned, burying his face in his hands.

The smell of sweet milk filled the air, and as he took a deep breath, it filled his lungs as well. The soft whirring sound of the fridge was barely audible, but it was there. And, disturbingly enough, he could also hear the milk washing over his cereal bits, dampening it, taking away its crisp. Not like he cared. Nico tapped his fingers awkwardly against the table. Should he call Percy? Jason? Reyna?

But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. It would be slightly suspicious, and the acute pain throbbing in his head was slightly diminishing as his mind wandered back into the black hole of swirling thoughts.

He tried to think about anything else. Anything else than what might've happened at the party. He thought about checking social media, but it hit him he was mostly with Percy the whole night. And if he remembered clearly, they had been alone on the rooftop. 

That should've made it awkward. It should have made Nico blush thinking about it. But strangely, he just felt a warm reassurance course through him. Nobody knew, and nobody had to know.

The memories from last night felt like he had watched it through a movie; through a screen, it had felt so unreal. The details were blurry and didn't take any shape, letting Nico's imagination do the work. But it was a little sad what kind of horrible scenarios your mind could create.

He finished eating his cereal quickly, not letting himself wonder about it anymore. Today, he would just a take the day off, take time for himself. He hadn't done that in a long time. Maybe today he could.

After quickly washing his bowl, Nico strolled back to his room, mindlessly scrolling through his playlist, trying to find the perfect song to start the day.

Opening the door to his room, he accepted the hearty breeze escaping the smallest slit in the window. He felt it brush over him like a wolf pouncing on its prey.

As swiftly as a cat, Nico sat down on his desk chair, feeling the rough material of the jacket hanging from off the edge digging into his back. He grabbed it and threw it on the floor, where it joined its brethren. 

Sighing, he faced his tall mahogany bookshelf, wondering what he was going to do now. He checked the clock. It was now 9:43AM.

Maybe he should just write in his diary. Nico embraced the thought. It was beckoning, but it felt weird knowing that since that wretched night his lips touched Percy's, his whole world had turned upside down.

He used to write in his diary every single night. And now, when was the last time he had written in it, signing his name in black ink like it was an unspoken promise? A week ago?

He couldn't help to let the guilt enter his heart gladly. And his parents... he felt like he had betrayed his trust. The upset, disappointed expression seared onto his father's face was burned in his memory, reminding him of his mistake. He felt the blood pounding in his entire body like his veins were boiling, trying to get rid of his poison.

Nico shivered. He shouldn't think about this now. The past was the past, and the best he could do now was make things right. 

He glanced furtively at his shelf again. Reaching out to take his diary, he felt his fingertips brush over the books stacked neatly next to it. The Mortal Instruments, the series he had grew up with, the series that set him in awe for the tales of the legendary Shadowhunters.

The brown-eyed boy shook his head. Maybe he could re-read the books later, but for now, his diary seemed to be tugging at his heartstrings, begging to be opened, begging to be written on.

Letting his nimble fingers close over the smooth black cover of the journal, Nico dislodged it from where it was safely hidden— wedged in between the thick pages of a big, uninteresting-looking book with small meaningful poems inside.

Nobody he knew was interested in poems— except him. So he knew nobody would bother to take a look at the thick novel. Taking the diary out, Nico flipped it open to a new page for a new entry.

He quickly grabbed a stray black pen from his table and started writing.

He wrote all about Percy. He wrote about all he could remember from last night.

He let his feelings, everything he had bottled up, spill from his open hand, clutching the pen, which was his messenger.

Sighing, he massaged his hand as small pricks of pain implanted in his muscles. Taking out the third book of The Mortal Instruments, City of Glass for a re-read, Nico ran his tired fingers on the old paper.

Yet even after spilling all his thoughts on the paper, there was still something bothering him. Nagging him in the back of his mind.

Nico just wanted to forget. But Percy? He wanted to remember.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.･:*

hello!!
sorry for the late updates, i just haven't been feeling it lately!

i hope u liked this chapter, feel free to comment or correct any of my grammar mistakes!
thank u for reading!

- deniiial