Demi

I woke up to Wilmer's hand gently tracing patterns on my back under my shirt as I laid on his chest. I turned my head to look at him and blushed when I realized he was already looking at me.

"Good morning." He murmured, and leaned down to kiss me, smiling against my lips as I held his head there for a bit longer.

"Good morning." I sighed, once he pulled away, then pushed myself up so I could kiss him again.

Wilmer sighed and smiled at me, "Did you want to try again? The small stuff?"

I bit my lip and nodded, "I guess so."

He chuckled and leaned in, kissing me gently, but with growing passion. I knotted my fingers in his hair and pressed my body against his, letting out a groan when I felt his morning hard-on brush my thigh. Abruptly, a flash of heat shot through my body and I pulled away, breathing hard.

"Are you okay?" Wilmer said, obvious concern in his voice.

I closed my eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine." I looked over and groaned when I saw him shirtless with an obvious bulge underneath his boxers, "Go put a shirt on or something."

I felt him move but I felt him closer to me, not farther away, "Tell me what's wrong, I can fix it."

"No you can't." I groaned, "Just please go away."

His head hung and he leaned in to kiss my cheek but I turned my head away. I didn't want his lips on any part of my body right now. He sighed and kissed my neck, making me shut my eyes and bite my lip, then got up and went into the closet. Once he was gone I sat up and rubbed my face, I wasn't planning on feeling these things until much, much farther into the future. I hadn't been this horny in months. I didn't know how I was supposed to even look at Wilmer right now considering all I wanted to do was jump his bones. With a groan, I got up and walked to the closet door, and knocked. It opened, and Wilmer stuck his head out.

"Are you knocking on our closet door?"

I bit my lip when I saw he still hadn't put a shirt on and nodded, "I wanted to make sure you weren't naked or anything."

He glanced down, "And if I am?"

I stepped back, "Then I'll just... uhm... I'll leave you alone too... yeah...."

Wilmer laughed and stepped out of the closet, thankfully wearing jeans and reached for my waist, "What has gotten into you?"

I squirmed out of his embrace and ran backwards into the closet, shutting the door in front of me and locking it. I took a deep breath and sat down, rubbing my face.

"Uh Demi? I still need my shirt."

I closed my eyes and groaned, "One second!"

I changed quickly and opened the door, smiling timidly at Wilmer who didn't look amused. "What is going on with you?"

I shrugged, "Nothing, I'm fine." I was speaking much too quickly for him to get a word in. "I'm going to my mom's today so I'll be there. I'll see you later, love you."

I went to walk out and he just stared and me, "Okay... see you later."

I grabbed my purse from the bedside table and my phone and smiled, "Bye." Wilmer stepped in front of me and I jerked back, looking up at him expectantly, "What is it Wilmer?"

"Don't I get a goodbye kiss?"

I stepped forward and went to peck his lips but he wrapped his arms around my body and kissed me deeply causing my entire body to erupt in fire. Every molecule of my being burned for him and I instinctively pulled him closer, my hips gravitating towards his. My head cleared and I tore myself away from him, yelling goodbye over my shoulder as I ran out of the house.

What is wrong with me?

~*~

"I can't handle these feelings right now Riss, there's no way." Instead of going to my mom's I headed to Marissa's apartment to vent.

"Dems, you can't shut him out and think he's doing something wrong. You're attracted to the guy, he's your husband, it's normal. I know you think this is a bad thing but it's not. It's your body telling you that it's ready, your mind just has to follow suit. But you need to talk to him about everything you're feeling or else you guys can't move forward."

I rubbed my face, "I just can't be around him right now. I just... I can't start having those flashbacks again. What if we're having sex and all of a sudden I start screaming?"

Marissa shrugged, "This is something neither of you have ever had to deal with before. I'm sure there were times when you were so self-conscious you didn't want to sleep with him, right?" I nodded, "I'm not saying this is the same thing at all, but you two have dealt with issues in your sex life before and I'm sure you can get through this one."

I looked down, "I don't want to go back there just yet. Can we watch movies and eat takeout or something?"

She smiled, "Absolutely."

~*~

When I woke up, Marissa's house was dark. We had fallen asleep after eating lunch and when I checked my phone it was nearly nine o'clock. I had fourteen missed calls from Wilmer.

"Shit." I cursed, looking for my shoes and purse through the blankets.

"What's going on?" Marissa said, jolting awake.

"We fell asleep! It's nine o'clock and Wilmer's been calling me!" I shrieked, finally finding my other shoe and putting in on as I hopped on one foot. "I've got to go, thanks for today, I needed it."

I drove home, breaking a ton of traffic laws, and finally pulled into my driveway where I was surprised to see just Wilmer's car. Knowing him he would've called the police by now.

"Wilmer?" I called out, as I ran inside the house, "Wilmer I'm home!"

I heard footsteps and suddenly he had me in his arms, grabbing onto me in desperation, "Thank God." He whispered, "You're okay. Are you okay? I was so worried."

I held onto him tightly, "I'm fine baby I'm so sorry I was at Marissa's and we fell asleep. I'm sorry." His upper shoulders were vibrating slightly and when he drew a ragged breath I realized he was crying, "Are you crying?"

"I thought..." He broke off, "I thought they found you again."

I shook my head and smoothed his hair, "No, I'm okay. Everything's okay."

I felt him nod, but neither of us let go of each other, Wilmer kept taking slow, choking breaths as he tried to calm himself down and I rubbed his back, kissing his cheeks and his shoulder, desperately whispering reassurances in his ear.

"I'm okay baby, I'm fine."

At last, he pulled away a bit and cupped my cheek, his too-big hand covering nearly half of my face, "Are we though? Why did you even go to Marissa's? I thought I was doing something wrong."

I shook my head, "I don't want to have this conversation right now."

Wilmer swallowed hard, "Do you want some time or something? Do you want to take a break?"

"What?" I froze, "What are you talking about?!"

He shrugged and looked down, "You looked like you pretty much had your mind made up today when you woke up, so I didn't know if you had like, fled the country or something."

I took a deep breath and shook my head, "No Wilmer, I don't want to take a break or some time and I definitely don't want to flee the country. I am perfectly fine right here." I squeezed my arms around him tighter to prove a point.

"Okay." He whispered, and stroked my cheek, "I'm fine right here too."

Hesitantly, I leaned up and kissed him gently, letting my fingers move through his hair. Wilmer kissed me back, immediately deepening the kiss and walking me backwards until I hit the wall and it was habit to jump as he caught my thighs and wrapped them around his waist. I kept kissing him, it felt good to finally give into the desires my body wanted. Today had solidified my mind that I wanted him. He would never hurt me, this is Wilmer, my Wilmer. This is my husband. I let my tongue swipe his bottom lip and soon we were fiercely making out, our hands not stopping as we explored the other's body. Wilmer carried me, bumping into things and tripping slightly into the bedroom, both of us laughing breathlessly. At last we made it, and he fell forward onto the bed, moving over my body as I ran my hands over his chest and down to the edge of his shirt which I promptly ripped over his head, groaning as I felt his muscled abdomen. He kissed down my neck and kept going, lifting up my shirt as his lips left a trail of fire on my stomach. I reached down and tore my shirt off, groaning as Wilmer began to hastily unbutton my pants but got stuck on it, making me laugh.

"I can't get it." He laughed, and I shoved his hands away to help him, but found I couldn't get it unbuttoned either.

"What the hell?!" I giggled, sitting up so I could look at it, Wilmer kept kissing on my neck as I desperately yanked at the button, and finally it let go. "Got it!" I practically yelled, then pulled them down and reached for Wilmer again, both of us now partially naked since Wilmer had removed his pants when I was trying to get mine off. I shimmied out of my underwear and he unclasped my bra, both of us laughing when he couldn't figure out the front clasp. This was why I loved sex with Wilmer. It wasn't always hot and heavy, or desperate. Sometimes it was full of laughter and loving kisses and confusion and banging into things. Sometimes when he held my waist it tickled and I laughed so loud I couldn't even concentrate on the sex part. We never had perfect sex but it was never not amazing.

"Are you okay?" He suddenly whispered, kissing my nose, "You're sure about this?"

I nodded and cupped both of his cheeks, "Absolutely, one hundred percent."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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-Rachel