Spending too much time alone without anything to do means getting caught up in past memories and regrets, however there is nothing I can do except do that. I have already texted Chris to get me some information about the newly appointed professor, Moore.

With nothing more to do, I lay in Jayd- my room, after changing into a pair of cotton shorts and a T shirt.

Memories assault my brain.

Memories that make me question everything I believe in right now.

At times like these, I miss Sarah even more than usual. She was a person who always had the best of advises. She never took a side, just pointed out each and every thing and let you decide for yourself.

She was mine, and Jay's anchor.

A beep rings through the apartment, alerting me of someone's entrance.

Jayden's newly installed lock system working perfectly.

I rise up, definitely not going out to see who it is as I think to myself how will Jay react if he got to know that the person who made this remarkable system is none other the one who has had my back for most of the past two years. I hardly think Chris will receive a pat of appreciation on his back. May be a bullet to the back, but not a pat.

A pair of icy blue eyes greet me as I wander towards the kitchen.

I supress a shiver as his eyes follow me from where he stands, till I reach my destination. I tell myself, it is due to the coldness of tiles below my naked feet instead of the resurfacing emotions I have for this man.

I hate that there is a have in the earlier sentence.

Unable to take it, I clear my throat awkwardly as I take a glass of water to drink, pausing to see him enter before passing it to him and taking out another one for me.

How do talk to someone who you have spent around a decade loving, and a pair of years hating?

Yeah, there should be hand book for that.

"So..." I take another sip from my glass, the feeling of his eyes on me yet not leaving, "What are you doing here today so early?"

"If I didn't know any better, I would assume you are attempting small talk here."

My head whips up at his playfully smug tone, sneering as I see a half smirk on his face. "And since you do know me better, what do you think I am trying to do?"

I blanch when I see him casually shrug, "Well, I would say you are confused with me here. You know, because you have already decided that you would avoid me, as well as the confrontation that will follow, but because you are alone and don't want to think anymore..."

Fuck if he isn't right.

But I can't let him know that, can I?

I roll my eyes, annoyed that my body relaxed as soon as I heard his voice. "Ok Mr. I-know-all, answer the primary question."

He gives me a deadpan look, before turning as he drew out some stuff from pantry and collecting a pan from across the kitchen before answering, not bothering to give me a glance, "Well, your friends informed me that it's been a while since they have left and all they have seen you eat is a burger. And I thought, why not spend some time with my girlfriend, who I thought has been dead for two years."

I flinch at his taunt, understanding where he is coming from, yet not ready to give him the benefit of doubt.

"Well, since you have decided to be so kind, it might be wise of you to not probe into topics that you are not ready to hear about."

He turns around to face me, an eye brow raised and arms crossed across his chest, making his biceps bulge, "So what do you propose I do?"

That stops me immediately.

Honestly, I was ready to fight, I still am. I had everything ready, each word and each accusation ready but this is not something I expected. His calm voice. His peace- offering.

Him giving me reign without bringing up his side.

I sigh, nervous at what my heart wanted, knowing I am about to follow it, despite it being ridiculous.

"Let's be normal... Civil at least."

He nods once and gets back to his cooking. I sit at one of the stool near the middle island, keeping my elbow on the top and my face in my hands as I stare at the back of the man that I love.

He moves around the kitchen effortlessly and familiarity.

A few minutes later, he settles across me with a bowl of potato chips and two glasses of Pepsi, a small smile on his face.

"For old times sake."

I let out a chuckle, unable to deny that it warms my heart to know he still remember our old habits and peeves. We used to munch on these while we waited for the food to be ready. It was our go to food for the longest time ever.

I shake my head as my laugh dies down. "Man, those days were crazy..."

"Don't blame the days, princess. It was you and Sarah that were crazy."

I gasp mockingly at his teasing, "Oh, how rude of you Jay, to blame us poor girls. And as if you were any different."

He rolls his blue orbs, with playfulness making them lighter. "I get to be excused. I mean, I was always with you two to make sure you don't get into too much trouble."

"Oh please... You enjoyed everything as much as we did and you know it" I very maturely poke my tongue out at him, in response to which he snaps his jaw at me. I laugh at his ridiculous attempt to bite me.

I stand and lean forward, arms out stretch as I flick his nose.

He blinks in disbelieve as I grin at him, but as he narrows his eyes at me, I turn and dart out of the kitchen. I hear his stool shift on the floor and then his footsteps following me. Advancing rapidly.

I barely make it to my new room before I am swiped off my feet as his arms wrap themselves around my waist and lift me up.

A giggle escapes me.

He leans in, his face nudging into the crook of my neck, as our laugh dies down and I am made aware, painfully so, of the erratic beats of my heart. My body melts in, as his tightens around me and for some moments everything is alright with us again.

"This is not civil Jay."

I am proud that my words come out clear, not expecting them to do so when I opened my mouth to speak.

"I know, Princess. I just need this. You have no bloody idea how difficult it is to believe that you are still here... With me."

His warm breath dances on my cold skin, making me shudder and his voice, soft and low. Almost as if he is afraid to speak loudly and shatter the atmosphere.

So we stand there, each in their thought.

Me, struggling to come to terms that maybe, just maybe Chris and Mason have been right all along.

Maybe spending the last couple of years hating him and blaming him was not worth it.

Maybe I should give him a chance.

After all, when has this guy ever given me a reason to doubt him.

And him, struggling to come to terms of me still being a reality.

And maybe something else.

But we stand there, for few more seconds. Minutes. Whatever time it took. Lost to the world and deep in thoughts. Wrapped in the arms of him, seeking the comfort for each other.

One that is readily provided.

Our peace is broken by the timer in the kitchen, and soon we find ourselves sitting across each other again. Talking and laughing.

"Man, I am telling you... Michael has turned into the worst."

I laugh, not able to stop the snort at the thought of Michael, straight laced Michael to be such a playboy. "Like you are any better."

My words were playful, though once spoken, they made me realise that I don't want to know the answer to it. If it is an answer that will follow. The mood sombre, we take a pause. I bite my lower lip, fully prepared to supress a wince in fear of his answer.

"I... I am not gonna lie Lynnie. After we found yo- I mean the female body with your phone, exactly where the note said you will be. We all assumed it to be you, after a week or so. And man." He breaks off, gulping his drink in one go before continuing.

"I was in a dark place. I drank, and I smoked. Anything I found, and yes, there were one or two times in that haze when I thought it was you and I kissed someone. But nothing further."

Relief and jealousy floods in me.

Obviously I was jealous. No matter what, the man in front of me is someone I have loved since the day I knew what love was. Scratch that.

He made me realise what love was.

Yet I feel relief. Yes he may be lying, but I don't think he will. He kissed when high, thinking it to be me and never went further, even though he thought I was dead. What else can I ask for?

"Oh," I speak, wiggling in me seat, "I am honestly relived, though how did you stop on just kisses, if you thought they were me."

He raises his eyebrow in question, and I roll my eyes, "You know, I am experienced with you. And you are extra grabby when drunk, to me at least. If you thought that those were me, when drunk. I don't think it would have stopped just there."

He shrugs casually as if talking about weather, "It took one kiss from someone else to know that they are not you. And when its not you-"

"-not me, you turn into angry drunk."

I complete, totally ignoring the thudding of my heart on the first part of his line, or the way he so casually said it as if it was common knowledge.

"Exactly. One thing after you that did change in me was. I was not just an angry drunk now. Then. Whatever. I was a ticking time bomb," he shakes his head regretfully, "and drunk me had less control. I had fucking water-boarded someone when I was sober for his phone ringing in the middle of a hallway."

My mind flashes to the day Ace told me how he had seen him do worse.

It looks as if, the man I knew was lost to the world when I was not there.

And this only solidifies what Chris and Mason already have said.

He wouldn't do that to me, ever.

*******************************************

A/N: Eeeeeeee!!!!! Ash finally gets it! Are you guys happy? or not?

Anyway, my lovely readers. 

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Love, Rupanshi.

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