Thank you to all of you who are reading! It means a lot to me ^.^

I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep, and I awoke to the sound of someone nocking on my door. My eyes fluttered open at the sound of voices. "(y/n)! We're coming in!" A boy's voice said.

I didn't have time to think before the door opened, relatively quietly, and I saw Eren, Mikasa, and Armin walk into my room. Armin was holding a tray of food, and I felt my empty stomach bed. I tried to sit up, but my body shook with a fit of coughing.

Eren dashed forward and helped me sit up, propping a pillow behind my back. "Wow. Take it easy, or the captain's gonna get mad at us." He said while I coughed into my hand.

Once the coughing died down, and my chest was burning, I drew my hand away and saw it flecked with blood. Mikasa had a towel and wiped off my fingers, amazingly gentle. Armin set the tray of food down on my lap, and I looked down at the perfectly arranged food. He must've put it together.

"You missed it yesterday!" Eren said, and I looked up at him as he adjusted my pillow. He grinned at me, his eyes bright. "The captain beat the crap out of Jean when he came back! It was hilarious!"  he said, practically fall over with laughter.

Mikasa finished cleaning my hand and I looked up at her. "Why are you guys taking care of me? Did you pull the short straw or something?"

Mikasa shook her head. "We volunteered." She said.

I felt warmth go through my chest, and not the hot, painful warmth, but something happy and good. "Oh..." I said.

Eren put his hands on his hips. "And we get out of doing the morning chores Eyebrows decided to start adding in after breakfast!" Erin said.

It took me a second to realize who Eyebrows was, and then I started laughing. "Eyebrows..." I whispered through my laughs.

Armin smiled at me. "So when are you going to get better?" he asked. "Did the medic say anything?" he asked.

I looked at my food, lifting the fork that was meticulously set on a napkin. "She said that I was going to have to just heal over time." I said.

Eren pumped his fist jokingly. "Yes! If you stay sick in bed, we don't have to muck out stables like the others!" he said.

I laughed a little and Armin and Mikasa shook their heads. I looked down at the food on my plate, and I took a small bite of what looked like bread pudding. I wondered at the sweet food, the nicely arranged plate.

I looked up at the three. "Did you guys put this together?" I asked.

They looked at each other for a moment, small smiles quirking their lips. "No." Armin said. "The captain made it for you." He said. "I think he likes you." he said, grinning.

I almost chocked on the food, and coughed a bit until I could breathe, causing the others to laugh at my shock. "Wh-what?!" I said. "N-no!"

They saw my shock and the blush rapidly spreading across my face and thought it was funny. I looked down at my food and started eating it as fast as my injured body would allow. They continued laughing, and when I had finished my food, I looked up at them.

Eren grinned, pointing a finger at me. "So you do like him?!" he said.

My face was bright red and I looked at my bruised arms. I was quiet for a moment, and the three leaned in, waiting eagerly for a response. "M-maybe...?" I whispered.

Eren jumped up, startling all of us. He ran out of the door, making a whooping noise and ran down the hallway yelling, "I am so telling Hanji!" like a gay guy.

My face was red, and Armin took the tray off of my lap. "I don't know how safe your secret is going to be with Hanji, seeing ass he and the captain are friends." He said.

I sighed, exasperatedly, and slid down into my pillow, smashing the sides down over my eyes. "No! I don't even know if I do!"

"Then why did you say 'maybe'?" Mikasa asked, one of her eyebrows raising. She and Armin looked at me for a moment, their eyes boring hole into me, the staring making me feel uncomfortable.

I buried my face in my hands. "I don't know!" I said. I didn't know why I was acting like this. Wasn't I supposed to be closed off? Wasn't I supposed not to trust anyone?

I wasn't like this before my squad died in the attack and when I got hurt. I used to be your classic, loud, crazy cadet like all of the others. I laughed and drank with everyone, and I had even fallen in love with one of the people of my squad.

But all of it had changed in the attack. All of my squad wiped out, my friends, my lover, and my happiness; I became a completely different person after it, and I knew if I became close with people, learned to trust them, I would get them killed. But I wanted to trust and love again, and maybe that's why I liked the captain.

I could tell that something dark had happened to him in the past, maybe even before he became humanity's strongest. Maybe that's why I was drawn to him; I felt as if we were the same. I had had a pretty crappy life before I had joined the 104th three years ago.

But I couldn't get close to anyone. Never. I would only get them hurt.

"(Y/n)?" Armin asked, his eyes worried.

I shook myself from my daze and looked up at him, all of the happiness in my chest gone. "Yeah?" I asked, my hands beginning to shake a little.

"You looked like you were somewhere else for a minute there." The blonde said.

I clenched my fists, my eyes hardening. "I'm fine." I said.

The two left a minute later, their whispered escaping through my wood door. I wished that I had never opened up to them, because now they would think we were friends when we were far from it. I looked up at the wall, seeing the cracks in the wooden planks that they had used to build it.

I turned over, burying my face into my pillow. I really wish I had died that day. If I said anything to anyone, they would tell me that I had so much to live for, but what joy was there in living if every waking minute I was thinking about how I had screwed up?

There was a faint nock on the door and I mumbled from my pillow. "Go away." I said, loud enough for whoever was trying to disturb my pity party could hear.

"(Y/n) (l/n)? This is Commander Erwin." A deep voice said, and I wanted him to go away. But the door opened anyway and I heard multiple people walk in. I turned over and sat up, wincing a bit. I looked up at the three standing before me: The Commander, Levi, and a woman I knew as Hanji. I found myself blush a little at her obnoxious hand movements towards Levi. Luckily, for her sake and for the sake of body, she was behind him and he couldn't see her so I wouldn't have to beat her up.

"Hello, (y/n)." Erwin said. "I'm sorry I haven't made the time to make your acquaintance, but I've been busy." He reached a hand down to me and I took it, my small hand dwarfed in his. I could see his eyes flit over the bruises on my arms, and I pulled away from him, trying not to seem to rude.

"I've been informed of you condition and I apologize for putting you into training." He said.

I shook my head, my face blank. "It's okay, Commander. It's partly my fault." I said.

He stood straight, and then bowed his head a little. "Glad to meet you." He said.

"And my name's Hanji!" the woman with glasses askew. "Eyebrows, Shorty, and I go way back!" she said, the two men behind her looking annoyed at their chosen nicknames. She leaned in towards me, taking her glasses off. "I'd simply love to study your wounds! I'm fascinated to see what kind of injury the titans inflicted on you-"

My eyes grew wide as memories started flashing, and I squeezed my hands around my blankets, my fingers shaking. "Hanji." Levi said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "That's enough." He said, his flat voice firm.

I looked up at him as the woman stopped talking at machinegun speed, our eyes meeting for a moment. He held our gaze until I looked down at my quivering hands. "Let's go." Erwin said, and he dragged a complaining Hanji out of the door. The wood clicked shut and I kept staring at my hands.

Levi lightly touched my shoulder and I flinched as his fingers met a few of my stitches. "(y/n)?" he asked in his deep, stony, voice as I moved away from him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I looked up at him, my eyes cold. 'If I get close to anyone, they'll end up getting killed!' is what I wanted to scream at him. But he would think I was crazy, or more than I was. "It's nothing, Captain." I said.

He looked at me for a second, and then leaned in quickly, wrapping his strong arms about me. I was surprised for a moment, and then I could feel tears brimming in my eyes and I held onto him. I buried my face into his shoulder and silently shook, the pain of my shattered ribs and bloodied chest forgotten.

*          *          *

The next week-and-a-half passed relatively quickly, and I healed pretty quickly. My growing love for the captain continued. He had started bringing me my meals after the first day, which made Mikasa, Eren, and Armin sad. All of the food was perfectly arranged on the platter, and I found myself eating it quickly, trying not to blush as Levi watched me.

He'd started bringing his paperwork into my room and would fill it out while I practically climbed the walls with the need to get out. A few days before, when I was out of my bed stretching, I had walked to the door, trying to escape my room without Levi noticing.

But he had seen and stood quickly, grabbing me around the waist, careful of my injuries, and threw me gently onto the bed. I had started laughing and he showed one of his infrequent smiles.

I had said, "But Levi! If I don't practice, I wont be as good at the 3d maneuvering gear! How will I kill titans if I don't remember how to change blades?" I asked.

He had looked at me, the tip of his pen in between his lips. "You won't forget." He'd said.

"But what if there's a titan attack? What will I do?" I had asked.

He'd scratched something on his papers and turned the page over, reading something. "I'll protect you." He'd said, and I remember my cheeks heating up.

I'd flopped down, my face red, and stared at the sealing. "Fine."

I opened my eyes, and I hadn't even realized that I'd fallen asleep. I looked around, rubbing one eye, and saw light pouring in from the window. That was right. It wasn't morning, but I had fallen asleep in the middle of the day.

I got out of bed and walked to my dresser, taking the absence of Levi to quickly change and practice. I slowed as I began buttoning my standard white shirt. The medic who had been taking care of me, and currently, the only Survey Corps medic assigned to Erwin's command, was absent. She had gone to the inner wall to help with an outbreak of a virus. Before she had left, she had told me to take extra care of myself and not get into any trouble, because she wouldn't be there to patch me up.

I shrugged as I slipped my white pants over my hips and started with the straps. My gear was hanging in the closet and I grinned at it. It was brand new, and polished to perfection by Levi. I fixed the gear to my straps and whistled as I finished with the buckles and made sure everything was on right.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a loud bell that sounded like one thing; the alarm bell that signaled a titan attack. My eyes grew wide, and my fingers fell from tightening my gear. The titans were attacking.