Ellesmere very carefully levered up an eyelid and shut it again fast. A merciless sunbeam had squirted straight in, making her brain bleed. Her head felt like elephants were doing the merengue on her cerebellum.

The lovely effects of champagne were quite gone and only the nasty tastes were left in her mouth. The splitting ache in her brow and the impotence of not being able to clarify what had happened the night before.

Champagne and Benzerine, never again!

Her head hurting from trying to recall what had happened.

Suddenly it all came running back, " Oh man, what have I done. I never really meant any harm. All I wanted was have a good time." She thought to herself.

She felt quite embarrassed. She had acted like most of the strippers in a vodak bar. Though one part of herself was quite happy, finally she had gotten a chance to express her true feelings to Brian.

" Hope he understood me ? I don't want him to think l'm cheap or anything." She told herself, heading to the shower.

She was going to pay him a visit. Either way, she had plans to convince him to take her back. By hook or crook.

                    ~~~***~~~

His mind was as turbulent as the wind and burbulent as the ocean waves.

Childhood memories that seemed like airplane luggages. No matter how far he had travelled or how long he needed them to last, he was only left with two bags - pain and deception. Though those bags held a few hazy recollections; getting a star wars model on Christmas Eve with his dad and step mum as a little boy, being pushed on a swing set, the way it felt to be kissed by his mum as a little baby. It didn't seem enough to last a lifetime.

He remembered all the beautiful times. Having his first kiss on a rollercoaster, fighting with his friends over which of the duchess of Hazards were their girlfriends to dances in highschool.

Those were the good times. Happiness for him had been cut short ever since he left highschool. He had rejected other girls to be with Ellesmere but what did he get, nothing but betrayal.

And when he wanted to start over, she came pushing down the guard to his heart once again. How cruel.

" What's up, dude ? How'd it go yesterday ?" Errol Matias asked.

" Not cool dude. I was busy, you know." Brian replied, looking quite startled.

Errol Matias was Brian's closest friend and colleague . He knew almost everything that went on in his life. Part of  the reasons why Brian couldn't give up too easily when Ellesmere had left him.

" So I'm sorry for that. I better go get busy as well." Errol said taking his leave.

" Nah.... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way. It's just that am not in the mood and have got a lot on my plate." Brian said, throbbing his head.

" Not so easily though. You owe me a drink and lunch also." Errol said twitching a smile.

"Sure. Anything for you bro." Brian replied.

"So you haven't answered my questions but from what I see, it didn't go well." Errol said, eager to know what went on last night between Brian and Ellesmere.

" Good guessing." Brian said, narrating everything that happened since the minute he met Ellesmere.

"Woaw! Bro, so what you gonna do about it ? Do you want to be a bedmate or a lover ?" Errol said jokingly hoping Brian would respond.

" This is not funny. I am breaking  apart here. I don't want to have anything to do with her." Brian said.

"Ok then. Tell her straight to her face. If not you'd be stuck in between forever." Errol suggests.

" If she calls you, meet her. Come clean, pour out your emotions but make it very clear."

" Thanks man. You just helped me come together." Brian said with a smile forming on his face.

" What are friends for." He said giving Brian a gentle pat on his back then moving on to get his work done.

" Remember you owe me lunch."

Errol was right, if he ever wanted to put an end to this chapter he had to come clean. No more hiding in the shadows or blaming himself for everything, Brian thought to himself, smiling, going back to editing the  magazine drafts.

*********

Meanwhile, Ellesmere deliberated between calling by Brian's place or going on with her vacation. He would be finished with his work for the day , wouldn't he. She thought.

She wanted him badly and that was the truth. That was her feelings all too often. A forbidden feeling that always wracked her with guilt. Yet it always seemed so .... right, being with Davis.

How could she have let such a thing happen ? Why hadn't she realized her feelings sooner before reining them in the wrong direction before things ever reached this point ?

And what about Davis ? She couldn't leave him now, they had already gone too far.

She shook her head as if to cast off her girlish foolishness.

Ring, ring ..... Ring. It was Brian calling. It seems our hearts are synchronizing. She thought before answering the call.

" Hey there. " Ellesmere said trying not to laugh too vividly.

" Hi, Ellesmere." Brian said, coughing to shake off his fragility.

"Brian! Is anything wrong?" She asked feeling quite puzzled.

" No, no, no, not at all. I just drove off from work and thought maybe you'd like to come over to my place for dinner. Is this a bad time or do you have plans already? " Brian said, drawing a long breath.

" Sure, I'd like to come over for dinner just tell me when." Ellesmere said with a smirk playing on her lips.

" Ok then. See you at 6, I'd send a driver to your place since you've never been in California before." Brian said.

" See you soon." She said with excitement in her voice.

Just about time. Ellesmere's ride pulled up in front of Brian's house, making an effort to smoothened her hair before getting out of the cab. The temptation was too great. She was looking good, she thought looking over her purple gown as if she was on a date.

Stepping out of the car with the door held open by the driver, she walked quickly up the steps of the front porch.

When Brian opened the door, he was wiping his hands on his kitchen apron with a smudge of flower on his cheek. "You are welcome to my home, Ellesmere." He said moving to the kitchen.

" Thank you. Smells nice in here." She said. The kitchen was as plain as possible, with nothing but a dining table, the cooking stove, an oven with nicely colored towels and decorated window curtains. Unlike most bachelor's kitchen,  dishes were piling up in the sink waiting to be washed. But the room was warm, friendly and inviting, richly scented with dinner set down on the table.

First, they talked into a cup of coffee. Brian stood while taking his to avoid any form of intimacy between them.

After a while, Ellesmere broke the moment of silence. " Am sorry, Brian. I don't know what to say, I guess you should know by now."

" I was hinting as much. Honestly, that's why I called you here." He laughed a little.

" I thought as much." Ellesmere sighed.

" True, I know the reason why you wanted us to meet. Sincerely,.... I can't be your lover .... I hope you understand. You put me through alot just to come back running into my life again." Brian said, hoping to control the salty teardrops wanting to fall down.

" I'm sorry again. I didn't mean to and I thought it through. I love you so much and you do as well. Lets  forget the past and move on. It will be like it never happened. Just forgive me that much." She said admitting much had changed in the past few years.

" I have forgiven you if not I wouldn't be here with you. It's true I love you and I know you do, but to forget the past is something I can't do. I'd prefer if we remain friends. I hope you can forgive me as well. Am really sorry." Brian replied, hesitating and glancing away for an instant.

Ellesmere was shocked to the core. The Brian, she knew will never have done or said that but it was right. She was careful to do nothing that might place their friendship at risk.

" So, then, I guess you are right. We can stay friends." She said.

" Yes you are right. Just know that no matter what, you are gonna hold a special place in my heart. Hope there's no hurt feelings, by the way ?" He asked hoping to clear all doubts.

Ellesmere looked at him, the pain lining her heart tugging between leaving or staying back. " Yes, you are right. I'd love you always, as a friend of course."

He ached to touch her, to reassure her that nothing really changed just the forbidden romantic feelings for one another and nothing more. " She's a strong woman. She'd be alright." He thought to himself.

Then, she gave him a rueful smile.
" You are a good cook."

" I can't daresay you mean that." Brian said with a sarcastic voice.

" Of course I do." She replied. " Well.... I should take my leave now."

He hesitated before replying, " I'm glad you stopped by."

" It was good seeing you again." She turned locking eyes with him before  glancing away again.

" Well, " he said again feeling awkward, " thank you, Ellesmere. Take care and give my regards to Davis and your father." He said waving her off.

He had been right. The barriers between their worlds were now impassable. The thought of being anything more than friends would be ridiculous.

Forbidden, that was what it was and will always be.

Finally now, he hoped he could start his life afresh. A new book. A new chapter. New friends. New people.