I Still Remember

I remember the first time I saw you, standing down the hallway from me chatting with your friends. The way the light from the windows hit you, made you stand out to me in some way. Your smile ever present on your handsome face as you joked.

Other groups of people stood around and close to you, some girls even stole glances in your direction yet, you seemed oblivious to their stares. You acted so freely, so carefree, as you stood there laughing with your friends, but I knew you saw their stares.

For you saw mine too.

I remember the first time we spoke, even if it were just about the work we did in class. It still somehow drew me in; you still somehow drew me in. How your eyes lit up about your favourite subject, or about what you liked doing. It seemed as if you glowed when you spoke of it.

Each of us had a strong personality, where you seemed timid at first I came to find that you were stubborn just as I was. Clashing together, our conversation which usually started out civil soon turned into arguments and debates, which were easily solved by logical thoughts which neither of us had in that moment.

Yet, we continued to grow close, our conversation often ending in fights were always engaging, always pushing each other. It seemed that we craved it, since we always came back to it.

I remember the first time I knew I was in love with you. And how scared I had been about telling you, even though I knew you loved me too. Having run away from you the first time you mentioned the word. Though the moment those words left my lips, I watched as a great big smile crossed that handsome face of yours, and as your eyes shone with love for me.

The love that I felt for you then swelled even more, as my heart seemed to skip a beat.

But life has a funny way of teaching you lessons, and one lesson I’ve learnt is that happiness surely doesn’t last forever.

For I remember the first day you saw her, your eyes once more having that fire in them that I hadn’t seen in some time. Her beauty captivating you as mine had at one point, and even though I knew it in my heart, I held on, for you promised me that it was just mere intrigue and nothing more.

But I should have known.

I remember the first time you spoke to her, for you seemed energized by the simple conversation as you relayed it me. Speaking of how engaging it had been and how it seemed to push you to the bounds. 

You spoke of how it was easy to talk to her, and how things just seemed so right, and so fun.

And I should have seen it then, I should have noticed the signs, but I fooled myself once again.

I remember the first time you fell in love with her. We hadn’t been in contact for a while, and yet the moment your number flashed on my screen I knew. Picking up that phone call was a mistake but I did it anyway, and the words you spoke broke my heart.

“I love her.” You said, but I had already known that. I had seen that happening long before I had come to accept it.

“I know.” I answered.

“I’m going to propose to her.” You said with excitement in your voice, a slightly nervous chuckle escaping you. I remained silent at your words, for it seemed as if my world had just turned upside down. For I had held onto hope, I had held on with all my might and it still didn’t work.

For you had once promised me forever, and yet that forever was a far cry from what I had now.

So now I sit here with a smile on my face, while my heart breaks inside. As I watch you standing there beaming from ear to ear while she walks down the aisle towards you.

I sit here and I smile, for you seem happier than before, as your eyes shine with so much love for her. As you watch her every move, captivated still by her beauty as you had been that day when you first saw her.

I sit here and I smile as I watch you marry the woman you love, a woman that isn’t me.

I sit here and I smile as I watch the man that I thought was my happy ending, get his happy ending but it isn’t with me.

Yet I sit here and I smile because I saw you, I spoke to you, and I loved you.

I sit here and I smile and I cherish the one thing that I know I can never lose.

Which is, I Still Remember the first day I saw you.

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This was inspired by the picture above.

Something I came across which I sent to someone I cared about, and we reminisced the days we first saw each other.

From that stemmed this in some way.

Hope you like it.