~~~~~~ 

There's comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool, I'm holding my breath for you, and with no doubt in my mind, if you could then you would try, to crack my rip my rib cage open, and pull my heart right through
~~~~~~~~

My breath was jagged as I reached to the huge brick building, on a flat area of grass with stairs that show the door of entrance of education and taunting.

I walked directly up to it before turning my head a bit to see the sign that flashed information and it states that I was about five minutes early.

'good. Enough time to at least have a few drags of a cigarette.'

I put my head down in shame as if eyes were already watching every single step my body made. But no one was there and it was my mind beating me up on the inside and making me feel like shit, as everyone else does.

I should be called a bullied from all the things I said about myself under my breath, or repeated after my 'father' who called me worthless, from either pain or he forces me to repeat it. Like I believe it.
Thanks father, because it did.

I know I am. I am nobody. Well, an organism made out of partials that make me human. Like everyone else. Exept they are putting there own styles as I am a weak fucker that is silent and isn't as important as other beings are. I am the one that can be replaced out of billions.

I breathed in with fustration. It was the last few days or so before summer and my mind really comes to kick me in the ass.

I was at the side of the school building before I took my bookbag off of my shoulders and in front of me to unzip it. There I had scram to find the green cigarette box of something that keeps me going.

I pulled it out with a light blue lighter from a corner store and lit it up before putting the venomous, god knows what, to my mouth and taking a good drag, trying to think of all the shit I have to deal with.

'maybe if I just smile, it will all go away. Maybe people would like me and not see how much of a fuck up I am. It would be unnoted...then again they aren't great friends to make if they only like my mask.'

I looked out into the tamed field from the school. The grass was freshly cut and the  wooden benches freshly put together.

But something was off. Something was wrong.

What was that?

The shadow.

The shadow of a little girl.
It didn't have a figure and I knew that no one was really here or short enough to look like a three year old in a shape of an Easter dress.

It stood in the middle of the field and began to walk near me.

I stared at it long and confused as my body didn't know how to respond, as if it should fight or flight.

I looked as if i was a baby deer in front of a head light
"Scarlet... Scarlet..."
The voice called to me as if it wants to lore me somewhere as I heard other voices under the child's voice, unaudioble.

"Scar!"

I had chills run down my spine as a scream escapes my mouth and made me drop my cigarette with my lighter and box of cigarettes. As I turned from the shadow that I haven't seen before to see Henry with a famous grin.
I immediately punched his arm, trying not to wince myself.
"Fucker!"

Henry is every girl's guy. He is a dream boy. Handsome, sensitive, athletic, and so on and on. He has blue eyes like a crystal clear lake that you can swim in and drown in with emotion as his dirty blonde hair touches his eye a bit, shaggy. His lips seem kissable. But it is just the outside. He is smart. Really deep souled. And always been there for me as I was drowning, not that he knows about anything about home. But his face gives me a hope to live and carry on.

He stood confidently in a blue         shirt with kakis He flashed a toothy grin at me before responding, "what were you looking at belleze?" He nicknamed me in spanish, but forgot what it means over everything I have to deal with.

I looked back and saw the shadow gone. I shook my head at him before I bent down and grabbed my stress reliever.

"Nothing Henry, let's go to class"
me and him entered with students, in silence as if that declared something did really happen and I have no words to form in my throat and speak it out and let him hear the words of poetry of fear hidden under my tounge.