~Infidel And Famished Love.~

"Search, Search and Search.
I kept searching for happiness while the pain kept residing in my life" ~ Shravya

************

'Don't look.'

'Don't look there.'

'Don't look.'

Shravya's inner self kept chanting as she slumped against the cold bars of her golden cage. Her knees folded against her chest and she pressed her forehead against them, trying not to look at the horrible sight, the room was displaying.

On seeing her explicit portraits and paintings around the room, her heart was pounding in her chest. Her whole frame was shivering not because she was feeling cold. She was shivering because of disgust, loathe, and weakness. And the smell of blood that envelopes her every second was enough to make her situation worse.

"Can you give me another pose?" She heard Zaid and gulped her sob back. Slowly her head raised and she glared at him with her red, swollen eyes. Her cheeks were flustered due to crying too much and some dry blood was still visible on the side of her face.

"It will be better if you would add a smile on your face," Zaid spoke, staring at her with a twisted and weird admiration. Diverting his eyes off her, he put his attention back on the canvas. His eyes glittered with admiration on seeing her painting which was yet to be complete. But still, he felt satisfaction. The same thing he didn't feel for a long time

"You don't know how restless and angry I was," He mumbled. "But now you're here, so I'm in peace." A sadistic smile appeared on his lips as his fingers professionally held the paintbrush and again began working on the canvas.

'Don't listen to him.'

'Don't look anywhere.'

Chanting again, she chewed on her bottom lip, staring down as she swallowed every sense of despondency, which rose within her. Her toes curled, feeling the soft mattress under them as she encircled her arms around herself.

She was feeling scared.

He was scaring her.

The moment she woke up, she found herself in a big golden cage, placed in a huge room, which was filled with her portraits, including the nude artworks too.

She was feeling trapped in the cage and suffocated by the surroundings around her. She was trying to be brave and strong but now, acting brave and strong felt impossible to her. Instead of becoming strong, she was breaking every second. She was feeling broken, weak, and helpless.

"Hazel for your eyes. Dark brown for your stunning curls and red for your lips." His fingers kept moving the brush on the painting as he moved his gaze on her timid frame.

"Blood's natural red color will be perfect for your lips. Right, sona?" He spoke but his quiet and deep voice sent shivers down her spine.

Blood.

Does he use blood in these paintings?

"Blood would give an impressive look but why something still seems to be lacking here?" His eyes narrowed as he stole a glance of the art and looked at her.

Heeding him she couldn't stop panicking.

Her fists clutched around her nightgown as her breaths appeared to be lost, her vision becoming frigid and blurry as she looked at him, deducing his steps shifting closer to the cage.

"Sona, do you know what's lacking?" He questioned, his coal-black orbs staring at her with intensity as he slowly made his way towards the cage, in which she was locked.

She kept on gaping at him, warm tears rolling out of her puffy eyes as her chest heaved up and down, lacking air.

If this kept going she might have a panic attack.

She tried to coward herself more onto the cage's bars as he unlocked the cage and entered inside." No..do...don't come... here," she wailed loudly, her voice raspy and trembly as she instantly jumped up to her feet and backed away, taking every bit of space the cage provided.

The cage's soft white mattress succumbed under his feet as he ambled deeper and stood in front of her, providing almost no space between their chests. Raising his hand upward he grabbed the rigid bar, behind her. Her shoulders almost scrunched together, feeling extremely tiny in comparison to him as his frame slightly hovered over hers.

Her back was unusually hit against the cold bars as she tried to back away but unfortunately, there was no area left. "Step back," she sobbed, her hair sticking to her face as tears slide down her cheeks. Her eyes widened and locked with his as she went on with staring at him, in horror.

He watched her with a reluctant smirk on his lips. Her whole body shivered, feeling terrified when his fingers reached up to put her tresses behind her ear.

"You know what?" His finger lightly traced her cheek as he towered over her. "Someone once said that the hunt for love starts from pain. I accepted every inflicting pain in the hope to find love, in the hope to be loved. I endured everything but still, I don't know why," he whispered, his mouth near her ear and lips almost touching her earlobe.

"This love is so infidel. It has destroyed me. It has made me weak and famished...famished for you, famished for your love and famished for your body." His arms traveled to her waist and trapped her shivering foam in their embrace when her legs almost gave up in supporting her.

Her chin rested on his shoulders as he tightly wrapped his arms around."Let... let me go Zaid. I don't want to be he...re," she pleaded, her hazel orbs showing dismay and acquiescence as tears uncontrollably streamed down on her cheeks.

"Call me greedy and esurient but I can't let you go. Can't you become mine?" His voice reached her ears and she hardly dug her nails into his back because of the resentment, which rose within her.

"This will never happen...NEVER!"

"I will never accept someone like you. I will never forgive you, for what you did to me."

"What do you think you did to deserve me?"

"You did nothing except destroying me. You gave me nothing except pain. And I hate you, Zaid Grover."

"I HATE YOU!"

Her loud wails echoed inside the room as she struggles in his hold, to get herself free.

His fingers tugged in her locks and he slightly pulled her head back, to make her face him. "I even love this hate. I will love everything you will give me. Be it pain, suffering, hate, loathe, or anything. I will cherish it as long as it would be from you." His hold loosened around her and she instantly shifted, to another corner. Her teeth gritted together as he again reached out in her way, where she stood in full defense mode.

"Why did you move away - wait! Did you just guess what the painting was lacking?" He asked, his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed in enthusiasm, stepping closer to her.

"I said step back!" She shrieked, kicking him in the knee as his arms reached out to grab her. Although the kick wasn't hard yet still, he slightly stumbled back.

"You're making me excited," he chuckled, regaining his posture and stoping her when she tried to punch him.

'SLAP!'

With her free hand, she slapped him hard.

His face turned in the distinct direction and he chuckled again, again facing her as he grabbed her both wrists and tightened his grip, twisting them behind her back.

"Leave me you bastard," she cried out in pain but suddenly she fell, her chest hitting the fluffy mattress when he abruptly freed her.

"The painting was lacking your real beauty, your bareness." He hovered over her. His one hand pinned her arms upon her head as the other one clutched her nightgown in a tight grip, all ready to tear the fragile fabric apart.

Trepidation took over her and her heart comes to be thudding in terror as she recognized his intentions.

He wants to paint her naked!

"Your nakedness is your raw beauty. Don't hide under this piece of cloth," he purred in her ear as the tearing sound of her nightgown replaced her cries. "At least not from me."

She flailed and kicked, trying to protect the fragile piece of her dignity. But she failed in doing so when he entirely ripped that cloth off her body and dumped it in a corner.

"Show me the real you. There was no beauty in that cloth. It was nothing but a thing, which covered you," he spoke, his hand caressing her chest as she tried to breathe deeply while gasping for breaths.......

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I'm sad for Shravya 🥺

Q- Please give me a small review of this book because I'm suffering from writer's block and need some suggestions...