**Eeeeeek! WHO'S EXCITED! I know I am!!! So I know I posted the first UNEDITED chapter as a teaser in LOHO, but this one is edited and changed a little so read it anyway! Just for reference, the date in the story starts during the last week of December because it's taking place right after LOHO got over if that makes sense. ALSO! The updating schedule for SOMH is going to be different than LOHO because I will be updating on FRIDAYS instead of Mondays. If you ask me this question even though I've literally just addressed it RIGHT HERE, I will just delete your comment because that shit annoys me. Don't ask me a question I addressed in an author's note lol. Well I love you all and I hope you enjoy!

EVAN'S OUTFIT ABOVE**

Evan's POV

The clock ticked on the wall, reminding me of all the time I wasted loving him. Brandon. But was it really love? Now that everything's blown up in my face, I'm not sure I can confidently say that's what it was.

Maybe it wasn't, who really knows. It's over now, and that's pretty much all that matters. There was no point in wallowing in my own misery while eating my weight in ice cream. The tears would be worth nothing, just like him. I sat on the couch in Ellie and I's apartment, staring at nothing and everything as my mind raced with self-destructive thoughts. Maybe it wasn't love, but I cared deeply for Brandon. He was the first guy I ever let close. Or ever had the chance to let close, really. We didn't waste much time with the engagement, I was just so excited to wear his ring and call him mine, but I guess the thrill of sneaking around does that to a person. Makes you think you had feelings that you thought were one way, but now they seem different. Tainted almost.

I didn't move from my position on the couch when I heard our front door open. I did, however, pick up my phone and plaster a smile on my face so it didn't appear as if I was, in fact, wallowing in my self pity. Which is exactly what it was, but I refused to let myself accept that. It was only wallowing if there were tears and ice cream. Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

"Oh, Ev! I didn't know you were home! Mom and Aunt Kiara said you would be out getting lunch with Tansy." She said, a confused expression taking over her face as her eyebrows furrowed together.

"I did. I just got back." I lied as my smile turned tight lipped. Ellie was always able to call my bluff, I was just praying that this one time would be different.

"But it's only noon now?" She pointed out while glancing at that damn wall clock, her face even more perplexed than before.

"It was more of a brunch, really." I replied flippantly while picking at a loose thread in one of our decorative pillows, avoiding her accusatory stare. She opened her mouth to ask me another question, or more likely call me out on my bullshit, but her boyfriend stopped her with a single hand on her forearm as he tugged her in the direction of her bedroom. I finally took a moment to look at him and notice that he had a large stack of cardboard boxes and packing tape in his other hand. It was then that I remembered she was moving out today. She mentioned that he'd bought them some lavish five bedroom home that was half an hour away from my parents place, which ultimately meant she would be 45 minutes away from the apartment we shared. Well, used to share at least. Oh well. It was easier to wallow when you were alone - but, you know, only if I had ice cream and there were tears involved in the mix too.

I resumed my staring at the wall until I noticed there was a chip in the paint thanks to Ellie getting so excited during The Bachelorette that she accidentally threw her cup of hot chocolate at the wall, causing it to shatter everywhere and stain our fluffy white rug. A smile threatened to pull at the edges of my lips at the memory before it eventually gave up and allowed my blank mask to stay intact. Getting up, I made my way to our, my, kitchen and began the mundane task of preparing a cup of tea. Again, a ghost of a smile appeared on my face for a fraction of a second as I remembered how this habit came to be. When I was little, I was always hanging out in my dad's office with him. The running joke for the majority of my childhood was that I was just my dad's shadow because wherever he went, I went too.

It was during the winter time when he was working endlessly trying to close one of his biggest business deals to date which caused him to be stressed beyond belief. It was then that he started to really take up drinking tea. I was sitting on his lap, watching as he switched between desktop computer and laptop, frantically sending emails and adding information into a spreadsheet. I picked up his cup with shaky hands and took a noisy slurp of it's contents. He stopped what he was doing and watched me with amusement as my face scrunched up and I stuck my tongue out.

"Icky, daddy! Why do you drink that! Yucky!" I yelled dramatically while wiping my tongue on my shirt trying to rid my mouth of the awful taste. He laughed at my ridiculous behavior before pushing the cup away so I wouldn't spill it all over his important papers.

"It's Jasmine." He explained simply.

"The princess?" I asked incredulously before leaning half of my tiny body over the desk and peering into the mug closely. His laughter echoed throughout his home office before he pulled me back down onto his lap.

"No, angel. It's Jasmine tea. Mommy likes it when I drink it and lavender tea because it helps with my anger." He explained. I scrunched my brows in confusion once again, completely enamored by such a concept.

"Mommy likes it when I eat my green beans, but that doesn't mean I do." I stated pointedly, a sassy undertone to my voice. Shaking his head, he kissed my hair without saying anything as my mom entered the room.

"I heard that you stinker!" My mom accused me playfully while wagging her finger in my direction. I giggled my head off as she approached us. She kissed my father sweetly before lifting me off of his lap and balancing me on her hip.

"You're getting far too big to be carried Evangeline. You need to stop growing." She murmured to me before blowing a raspberry against my cheek which caused my giggles to start up once again.

I was just five then. The more time I spent with him in his office, the more I started to pick up on his habits, and his shit mouth as my mother has started to call it. Jasmine tea being one of them as I got older, eye rolling the other. That went over really well with my teachers in middle school.

The tea wasn't something I liked the taste of at first, but over time it grew to be comforting as it reminded me of my father and the times we shared together. Taking the first sip of my prepared cup, I was disappointed when it did nothing to soothe my sorrows. Damn you, Brandon! He'd even managed to ruin my favorite hot drink. Setting the steaming mug down, I circled the rim of the glass with my index finger while once again staring off into space.

"Do you wanna talk?" Ellie asked softly from behind me. I jumped with a startled yelp as she caught me off guard. I held a hand to my racing chest while scolding her for sneaking up on me.

"To be fair, it's not sneaking up if you just weren't paying attention. Penny for your thoughts?" She asked, once again trying to get me to talk about everything that'd happened. I shrugged my shoulders in what I was hoping looked like a careless manner, but I knew my body was too tense for it to be conveyed how I wanted it to. She leaned up against one of the kitchen counters before staring expectantly at me.

"Ellie, stop giving me that look! I'm fine! God, if everyone would stop walking around me like I'm a fragile piece of glass that could break at any moment that would be great." I growled out, letting my anger get the best of me. Her eyes widened in surprise at my outburst, but I just cleared my throat and took another sip of tea.

"Evan, you don't have to pretend like you're-"

"I'm not pretending, okay? Everyone handles breakups different, and I for one have been pretty unaffected. Seriously, Ellie. Drop it." I demanded when I saw that she clearly wanted to say more. Sighing deeply, she nodded and pulled me into a tight hug. She pressed her cheek against my own as her hand rubbed my upper arm in a comforting gesture before she made her way back to her room to finish packing her belongings. I released the breath I hadn't known I'd been holding as I leaned my head against the cabinet behind me. What seemed like ten minutes later she reemerged, but this time Beckett was with her and had a hoard of boxes in tow. I guess time really does pass quickly when you're caught up in your own thoughts.

"We're, um, we're going to start loading up the car and heading out. Pretty much everything I need or is mine I have packed up. I'm going to leave everything in the kitchen and living room because I really don't need anything from there." And you don't need me anymore, either. I added silently as she shared an excited smile with Beckett. I watched with tears in my eyes as he refused to let her pick up anything, saying how it could be bad for the baby. She rolled her eyes at him as I recomposed myself, pretending to be busy with stirring my tea.

"Men. Can't live with them, can't live without them." She laughed before giving me a final hug and leaving me her key. The door closed behind her and the sound seemed to echo with the apartments newfound emptiness, but I knew it was just my imagination.

Sauntering into her room, which wasn't actually her room anymore, a pang struck my heart at seeing the place so lifeless. There was a sterile white comforter set on the bed, and all of the pictures that she had strung all over the walls for the past two years were gone. Scooting the bedframe over a few inches, I plopped onto the carpet in front of the wall, examining the dent my head made in the drywall when I fell off the bed one saturday night from getting too drunk off of wine. Laughter bubbled from my chest that soon turned to tears as I remembered how Ellie ran around the apartment with alcohol-glazed eyes while screaming about me having a concussion.

It hurt to think that she wouldn't need me anymore. No one did, really. Troy was getting married to the love of his life in a few months, Ellie would inevitably get married to hers, at almost 18 Brock was happy to stick his dick into anything with a warm hole, and mom and dad were perfectly content to have the house all to themselves whenever they got the chance to do god knows what. Then, there was me. I was going to be happily married.

That thought alone had me thinking: what if I never walked in on him? Would I have ever believed someone had they told me about his infidelity? Would we still be together now? Would I still think what I felt for him was love? So many what if's that will never be answered. My sobs eventually turned to hiccups as I picked my phone up and dialed the only person I knew that could relate to me in this moment.

"Sweetheart, you haven't called me in forever? How's my pretty girl doing?" The loving, raspy voiced cooed from the other end.

"Grandma." I choked out, unable to fight off the fresh onslaught of tears. I heard her mumble a worried oh heavens under her breath before she muttered something to someone in the background.

"I'll be there in a jiffy sweetheart, don't you worry." She assured me before saying that she loved me and hanging up. Pulling myself back up to my feet, I carelessly grabbed the comforter off of the perfectly made bed and wrapped it around my body as I slumped towards the couch to resume my somewhat-wallowing - which I now had to identify as such because there were, in fact, tears added to the mix this time.

True to her word, there was a knock at my door about twenty minutes later. Clearing my throat and wiping at my tear streaked face, I checked the peephole before swinging to door open and letting myself be enveloped in my grandma's tight embrace. She cooed sweet words in my ear while stroking the back of my head before leading me towards the couch I'd just been sitting on. I had to laugh when she handed me three slices of her famous triple chocolate mousse cake. This stuff could end world wars, I swear.

"I heard what that little fuck did." She started off, causing me to choke on the bite I had just placed in my mouth. My grandmother was a lot like my mom in the sense that they both had vocabularies in which curse words didn't exist, it seemed like.

"You and your sister know that Grandpa and I split over a similar issue, but I've never told you the full story. What happened between Grandpa and I was very unusual. Your mother walked in on him cheating on me with his secretary, but it wasn't actually cheating, honey. He staged the whole thing, as he claims to this day, so that I would finally leave him and be happy. I never understood why he couldn't just grow some balls and be the man that our family needed him to be, but that's the coward's route he took out and that's the decision he'll have to live with for the rest of his life.

I loved him dearly and offered to stay and go to couples counseling to make things work between the two of us for your Aunt's sake, and for a while it actually worked. Unfortunately, I couldn't get over what he'd done and how he went about things. Not to mention, I goofed up pretty big with your mother in the process. She only started talking to me again after her wedding when you girls were born. The point to all of this is that you can't let yourself dwell on people who don't even deserve a second thought, sweetheart. There's a man out there that can give you the love and affection you deserve. You just have to grasp the moment and never let go when it comes. It took me years to get over the man I loved for 18 years, but I believe that you can move on." She finished her speech with a warm smile tucking a lock of my greasy, unwashed hair behind my ear.

"But that's the thing, Gran. I don't think I ever loved Brandon. Actually, I know I didn't. He never treated me even a smidgen of the way dad treats mom. I just think I idolized what he could have meant to me, but when I really think back to our relationship it just seems like I was really only enamored with the fact that he was my first boyfriend." I said, trying to accurately convey how I felt in the simplest way I could. She nodded with a small smile before leaning her head on her fist which was rested against the back of the couch.

"Then what's got you so caught up, dear?" She asked with concerned eyes. I released a deep breath before staring intently at my hands in my lap.

"I just...nobody needs me anymore, Gran." I whispered, voice thick with emotion. "Everybody has somebody, except me." I cried through a hiccup. She pulled me into another loving embrace before cupping my cheeks in her soft, boney hands.

"That is so untrue and you know it." She stated pointedly. "Your sister is only a short drive away from you now, it's not like the world is ending my sweets. Pick up your breeches and move on with life. Find someone else to spend time with, whether it be a new man or a new friend. You can't sit here and wallow in your self pity." She said knowingly, which caused me to laugh hysterically.

"And for the love of God, please wash your hair." She begged with a look of disdain in her eyes as she glanced at my long, dirty tresses. I laughed once again before nodding and kissing her cheek, a new feeling of vigor spreading through my body from her words.

I scrubbed vigorously at my scalp as I thought over my life. I'd been sheltered from practically everything, not that that was necessarily a bad thing. I've never had to experience any real tragedy. While my parents have always made me work for the things that I wanted in life, I've never had to go without the necessities. I'm tired of that life now. I was tired of staying in my perfect little suburban lifestyle box. I wanted to actually live, dammit!.

**

Parking my car, I didn't give myself a chance to lose the confidence high I was on. Barging into the run-down building, I didn't let the intimidating looks everyone was giving me scare me off. Sauntering up to the bar, I pulled out a creaky wooden stool before catching the bartender's attention and waving him over. Stepping up in front of me, he gave me a skeptical look before leaning forward with his arms resting against the sticky countertop.

"What can I get you?" He asked.

"I'll have a vodka cranberry, please." I said while sliding my card to him. He raised a single eyebrow while switching his gaze between me and my card. He finally shrugged his shoulders while muttering something under his breath as he turned away to charge me for the drink.

"You wanna start a tab?" He asked while handing back my plastic along with my drink. I pursed my lips while I thought about the question. I wasn't here to drink my sorrows away, but then again I really didn't know what else I would be here for, exactly.

"Uh, not right now. I might change my mind after a few, though." I joked before discarding the tiny black straw and taking a long swing.

"We don't get many of your kind around here, kitten. You lost, baby?" A deep, gruff voice asked from beside me.

"My kind?" I said unimpressed, an undertone of annoyance in my voice as I spoke. I refused to look at him, he wasn't worth my time of day.

"You know, the rich bitches that wipe their asses with hundred dollar bills and fuck the poolboys in their million dollar houses." I scoffed at his assumption of me before knocking back the rest of my drink in one go and motioning at the bartender for another. If I was going to have to sit here and listen to this all night simply because I was wearing a pair of nice boots and designer dress, I needed to be at least a little bit tipsy. I was reaching in my clutch for my card as the next drink was sat in front of me, but I could see the guy next to me wave him away in my peripheral vision.

"Put it on my tab, J." He said carelessly. The bartender shot me a look as I proceeded to slap my card back down on the sticky wood, ignoring what the tool next to me had said.

"Why don't you fuck off? I can pay for my own goddamn drink. You know, since I wipe my ass with money and everything." I retorted snarkily, throwing his own words right back in his face. He humphed under breath before muttering about me being a bitch as left me to sit alone once again.

"Smart mouth you got on you. A girl like you could get into real trouble down here with that kinda attitude." The bartender warned with a knowing smile. His amused attitude pissed me off enough to have me rolling my eyes at him against my better judgement.

"Maybe that's exactly what I'm looking for." I shot back with a challenging stare. He laughed at me as he continued to clean the glass in his hand before slipping it back into its place and settling himself in front of me.

"Want my advice? Go home. Whatever daddy did that pissed you off isn't worth what you could potentially get yourself messed up in in this neighborhood."

"I thought us 'rich folk' were supposed to be the judgemental assholes, but all of you seem to really outdo yourselves in that category." I commented with a scoff. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against the bar top and just studied me. I downed the rest of my second drink, which was just as nasty as the first one, before sliding the small cup back across the table to him.

"Another?" He asked, seeming to have a change of heart as he left the subject of me leaving the and going home alone. I nodded my head before muttering that I was going to use the restroom and that I'd be back. Hopping off the stool, I must've already been a little tipsy because I lost my balance and rammed right into somebody that felt more like a wall.

"Why don't you watch where you're fucking going, bitch." The guy sneered against the shell of my ear. There were warning bells going off in my head, but the alcohol dimmed them enough for me to react irrationally.

I whipped around before shoving at the guy's chest, effectively catching him off guard as he stumbled backwards a step or two. The quiet roar of conversation died down to nothing but a soft lull as everyone's attention was now focused in on the two of us.

"What the fuck did you just call me!" I demanded while trying to square up to him. Unfortunately, something my alcohol deranged brain didn't register, was that I just barely reached this dude's chest and had to seriously crane my neck to even get a glimpse of his eyes. There was nothing intimidating about me, at least not to this giant. He leaned down so close to me that I could smell the whiskey he'd been sipping on his breath.

"I said, watch where you're fucking going, bi-"

"I heard what you fucking said, asshole. I just wanted to see if you were fucking rude enough to say it again." I growled back. His eyes seemed to light up with amusement as he scanned the length of my body. Fuck this guy I thought to myself before proceeding to the bathroom, knocking my shoulder into his huge body in the process while calling him a dickhead under my breath. Had I not been drunk, I probably would've realized he was following right behind me.