Louis didn't do some massive declaration; he didn't stroll down the halls with a rainbow flag as a cape. He was caught. He'd found a boy that he thought felt like he did, but turns out he changed his mind when they were caught by half the football team breathing each other's air to survive behind the gym. Louis was pinned as the gay who couldn't keep his hands to himself, and was punished daily for it.

Only two more years and he'd be out of this pompous sham of a prison establishment. Two more years and he wouldn't have to be afraid of who he was. Only two more years of living and breathing in this sorry excuse for a boarding school, and then- Freedom. Louis' thoughts were interrupted when he was forcibly knocked against the metal wall of lockers. Louis rolled his eyes and crouched down to pick up the book he'd dropped.

"Right where you belong."

Louis closed his eyes and took a long breath before standing back up and facing his foe. "Malik."

"Faggot."

Louis did his best not to cringe at the word. He'd heard it so many times since his big "coming out" last year, but a million times couldn't dull the sharp edge the word cut him with. Zayn must've seen the reaction because he smiled proudly.

"Suck any cocks this morning?"

"Nah, but mine's in need if you want to volunteer," he snipped.

Zayn snarled and shoved him back against the lockers, book falling once again to the floor. It was Maths anyway. Louis hated Maths. "What'd you say, fuck boy?"

"I think he asked if you wanted to suck his dick," a minion of Zayn's chimed in helpfully.

Louis smiled his brightest smile. "Thanks for the clarification, bud. What would you do without them, Zee?"

"Don't call me that. Faggots don't get to call me by my name." Zayn curled a hand in Louis' tee and yanked him forward. "Watch it or you won't be saying anything."

The bell sounded through the halls, thankfully dispersing the small hoard of mongrels and allowing Louis to trudge off to his first class. The day hadn't even started and his shirt was wrinkled. He was lucky he supposed. Usually, by now, he'd have at least one bruise.

Maths was awful. And Louis forgot a pen. But instead of asking for one, knowing the answers he'd get, he just tried his best to remember what the lesson was generally about and wing it when he did his work at home.

Geography was awful. He could barely remember how to get to the grocery store, much less where Nigeria was located on a map. Africa, by the way. Louis got that one wrong on the "I-just-want-to-see-where-your-knowledge-level-is-at" pop quiz.

English, his last class before lunch, was his only reprieve for the long day stuck in hell. He made sure to have a pen this time and sat at his usual seat for every year's English class, second row right in the middle. Front row was way too bold and all his favorite bullies sat in the back, so second row was his throne, so to speak, since the first time he had- The door swung shut softly and Louis' head snapped up at the sound of smart shoes on tile floor.

"Good day, class." A few murmurs of greeting resounded, but Louis didn't hear them. All he could see was Mr. Payne shrugging off his coat and hanging it over the back of his chair behind his bulky, wooden desk. Then he unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them up one at a time. Louis watched his deft fingers fold the fabric back so everyone could see the dark ink that marked Mr. Payne's forearms.

Tattoos were frowned upon at Westview, but Liam seemed to be the exception to every rule held at this school. Crabby, old teachers. Snobby accents. Pointless lessons. Detached demeanor. Louis had had Mr. Payne every year for six years now, known him for most of his young life, and each year it seemed he came back with more ways to make Louis' heart beat fast.

This year it was the new hairstyle. Shorter than Louis had seen it at the end of last year. Well-quiffed, but still looked soft to the touch. Louis was itching to find out for sure. He clenched his fist on his desk and looked down at the wood, chastising himself for letting his mind wander.

When he tuned back in, Mr. Payne was calling roll. "Miss Theson."

"Here."

"Mr. Tomlinson." Someone kicked the back of Louis' seat, foot wedging between the bottom and back of the chair and right into Louis' back. With his mouth open to answer, he yelped instead. Mr. Payne looked up from his roster and raised a brow at Louis. "Everything alright, Lou?"

"Louis, sir. I'm fine. I'm, uh-I'm here."

Liam afforded him a half smile. "I see that." He looked back down to his roster. "Mr. Winter."

Louis wanted to turn and give the chair-kicker a piece of his mind, but just gripped his pencil hard and started doodling instead. He let the familiar sound of Liam's teaching voice, firm but excited, filter through his being. Louis thought that if Mr. Payne taught Maths, Louis might actually be acing it. As it was, he was handing out a syllabus of the novels they'd be reading and discussing this year and Louis looked over the list.

A bunch of old titles that Louis had seen a million times, when he went home for the summer, in his step dad's library. Classics like: Macbeth and How to kill a Mockingbird were predictably on the list, but about halfway down the list, one title caught his eye. The Scarlet Letter. Louis only vaguely knew the premise, but what he did know sounded a lot like his fantasies...and their consequences.

"This year I'm also the academic advisor for Clauder house, so if you're a member, stay after class for a minute." Louis perked up. Clauder house. He lived there. That's his house. Zayn's, too. Which he wasn't made to forget, but still. One more reason to be around Mr. Payne this year.

When the bell signaled the end of class, and most students made their way to lunch, Louis, Zayn, Oliver, and Ed stayed behind. Liam came around his desk and sat on the edge, hands curled around the wood he leaned on. Louis didn't want to drop to his knees in front of him. He didn't.

So he didn't. Instead he closed his notebook and went to stand in front of him like the other boys had. Louis walked all the way to the other end of the line so he didn't have to stand next to Zayn. Oliver slid a couple inches over when he saw him, like he thought gay was a disease and Louis was the host.

Liam tracked the movement idly before clearing his throat. "Since you boys are getting to the last stages of your time here, your future is becoming ever closer." Liam made eye contact with each boy. Louis wished his moment lasted just a bit longer, but it didn't. "I'm here to help you start deciding on what your next step will be after Westview."

"Do we have to be here? I don't need an advisor to tell me I'm taking over my dad's company," Zayn complained.

Liam gave him a sidelong glance, but ignored the interruption. "If you need anything, academic or otherwise, I'm here to help." Louis reveled in those two words. Or otherwise. He knew Liam meant them in a completely professional way, and he berated himself for thinking of Mr. Payne like that.

"Can we go?" Oliver asked and scooted just a tiny bit closer to Ed.

Liam offered him a long-suffering look before sighing and nodding. The other three had their things packed and bolted from the room, already missing lunch. Louis didn't mind taking a few extra moments to pack up.

"So, Lou. How are your other classes?"

Louis steeled himself against the tightening in his throat. "It's Louis," he snapped. "And fine."

When Louis turned back Liam had his coat on and his laptop bag on his shoulder. "I'm glad." He came towards Louis and placed a hand on his shoulder. "As your advisor, I'm here if you need anything."

Louis shrugged the hand off and walked around his desk to get by. "I'm good, thanks." He was out of the classroom before he could think over how rude he just was. It was Louis' new way. He didn't want anyone getting the idea that he fancied Mr. Payne, which he did, and start bullying him, which they did already. So he decided detached and distant were his best bets.

Only, Liam had known Louis since he came to Westview at the ripe old age of ten, and he'd been there when Louis cried because he missed his mum, and when he got his first F, and when he broke his wrists climbing the flag pole on a dare. Louis could see the surprise on Mr. Payne's face at Louis' response, but he blocked it from his brain and ran to grab a sack lunch from the dining hall before heading to his usual spot in the library for lunch.

***

Right after class and before football practice was prime time for Louis' beatings. Zayn cornered him behind the bleachers today, minions on hand and eyes dark. "Have a good first day back, fucktard?"

Louis set his bag down in the ground. "Best yet. It would've been better with you to keep me warm, but hey."

A low rumble came from Zayn's chest just before his fist connected with Louis' chest. Louis went with the hit, finding that it did less damage. He curled in on himself, but Beavis and Butthead straightened him up and held him against the metal supports holding up the rickety stadium seats. Zayn swung and landed a harsh blow to Louis' ribs, pushing the air from his lungs.

"A fucking slut is what you are."

He wasn't. He'd never even had sex, or anything really. That one good snog sesh was the last time he'd gotten any action, excluding the one time he felt up a girl's boob and then washed his hands after. "Only for you, Malik." Louis knew. He knew his mouth was making things worse. But he felt like if he just let them beat him, without a single snarky comment or moment of quick whit and they'd take all his pride. He'd rather go down in a blaze of frivolous banter.

Zayn hit him again for the remark. By the time practice started, Louis was sore and his chin would have a decent bruise to color it. He'd blame it on a fall during practice, if Coach asked. Not that he'd have any reason to trip, considering none of the other players came within five feet of him. Louis was pretty sure the coach only kept him on because he could play a fair portion of the game on his own, and win. He liked when they played teams from out of town. They didn't know him, didn't care about his sexual orientation. They'd check him and foul him all the same.

Only problem was when Louis got back in the locker room. He went to his locker and pulled out a towel and shampoo before heading to the showers with his eyes low. He went to the handicapped stall, his usual, and hung his towel over the tile half-wall before disrobing. Showers were always quick, just in case anyone of the team got any clever prank ideas. He used his shampoo as body wash and rinsed off hurriedly before wrapping himself up in a towel.

He held the front of his towel firmly in his grip as he pattered back to his locker and grabbed his clothes he'd worn to class. He defaulted to the handicapped toilet stall to change and was out of the room as fast as possible. He realized as he walked away that, starting up again, he'd have to change in the shower so no one saw the bruises.

***

A new school year didn't mean much. Same lessons, different words. Same food, different menu. Same bullies, different slander. But the one thing he was glad hadn't changed was the way Mr. Payne's eyes lit up when he talked about books.

They were only reading excerpts from the first novel off the list, thank God, so they were half done with it only a week into lessons. Still, Liam talked about it as if all his students had read the thing cover to cover and wanted to delve into the satirical aspects of each character. Louis wouldn't mind, so long as Liam kept gesturing like he was performing a magic trick.

Class was always hard for Louis. He had to make sure to keep a balance between looking at Mr. Payne, his teacher, and staring at Liam, his crush. He knew if he refused to look at all, he would get called out for not paying attention, but if he gawked, the entire class would know; worse, Liam would know. So, Louis measured his time carefully, looking when he thought Liam wasn't, and "writing notes" for the rest.

Liam released class about ten minutes early because it was pizza day in the dining hall and he was a sympathetic man. Louis was buzzing about getting there before the rush, grabbing a good slice, and hiding away in the library. Those plans halted when his locker door was slammed shut on his hand. Louis cried out and cradled his hand to his chest, his mouth quickly covered by one of the minions. They turned him around and Zayn pushed him back against the lockers. Louis would be bored with the monotony of it all if he wasn't worried about the pain of it all.

"Finally, a little private time."

"Been waiting," Louis taunted when the minions uncovered his mouth.

"I bet you'd love it."

Louis pushed against the boy's chest. "Shove off, asshole."

The sidekicks pushed Louis back against the lockers and one of them pinned Louis' shoulder to the cold metal. Louis felt his heartbeat pick up. He looked between the three of them and then settled on Zayn, who was closing in on him with a sneer.

"Don't pretend like you're not gagging for it. Little faggots like you love when better, stronger men make them take it."

Louis struggled, but the other friend came and pinned him down from the other side. The blue-eyed boy looked down the hall one way and the other, begging for the bell to ring and students to flood the area. Nothing happened.

The bully reached forward and grabbed Louis' dick through his tight jeans. "You'd let me have it, wouldn't you? Bend over like the little slut you are?"

Louis kicked a leg out, nailing Zayn in the shin. He spat on him, the saliva landing on the bigger boy's shoulder. "Don't fucking touch me!"

The raven-haired boy rose back up to full height with a dangerous curl to his lips. "You'll pay for that, fuck boy." Zayn raised a fist back and clenched his fingers tight.

"Let him go, Mr. Malik."

All three bullies jolted at the firm sound of an older man's voice. Louis' eyes snapped to his savior. Mr. Payne came walking down the hall towards them with steady, imposing steps. The two friends released him and Louis ran out from the middle of them to stand next to his teacher. Zayn gave one more narrowed look to Louis before the three of them turned and ran off.

Liam sighed and turned to look down at his student. "Alright, Lou?"

"It's Louis, Mr. Payne," he spat. "And I don't need your help. I can handle Zayn."

Liam crossed his arms over his chest and raised a knowing brow. "I know your name, Mr. Tomlinson. I should after years of dealing with your attitude," Liam returned just as haughtily. "I was asking if you were okay."

"Fine."

"If those boys bother you again, you can come to me."

"And be the boy that narks? No thanks."

Liam put a hand on Louis' shoulder. "It's okay to ask for help, Louis."

Louis shook his hand off. "Yeah, okay." He grabbed up his book bag from the floor and shouldered it before turning to leave. When he stopped and turned back, Liam was already halfway down the hall. "Mr. Payne?" Liam turned back. "Thank-" The shrill bell sounded through the halls, drowning out Louis' gratitude. But Liam smiled all the same before he kept walking, chiding children to slow down in the hall.

***

Stupid. Louis yanked on his hair and opened up the locked notes app on his phone.

Mr. Payne saved my ass today. Too bad he didn't ruin it while he was at it. I'm pretty sure he thinks I hate him. Which I do...n't. Don't. Fuck! Why does he have to look like that? And be so nice? It's like being the only out and proud kid in school wasn't enough. Here, have a smoking hot fantasy teacher as well. Yeah thanks, God.

Louis saved the entry and locked his phone before tossing it on his bed. He sank down onto his pillows with a muted groan. The images of Liam walking down the hall, the stern look in his eyes when he'd saved him flooded Louis' sleep-deprived young mind. The hand on his shoulder. The nickname. Fuck, the nickname.

Louis slid his hand under the waistband of his shorts and dragged his fist over his perpetually hard dick. He turned his face and buried a moan in his pillows so he didn't wake his roommate, jacking off to Liam's big, brown eyes, imagining them wet with tears as he swallowed Louis down. He arched into his fist and came with a shudder.

***

Louis had his first advising session two weeks into the year. He sat across the desk from Mr. Payne in his office. Liam had his folder open and papers pulled out. He was dressed in his usual attire for school days: slim trousers, well-fitting button up and his long jacket hung on the back of his chair.

Liam leaned across the desk to set the papers he'd pulled out down in front of Louis, and Louis had to avert his eyes to his lap when he noticed the way his shirt tightened around his bicep. "Here's your marks, and your audit." He sat back in his seat and crossed an ankle over his knee. "You're well on your way to finishing here. And with decent marks." Liam smiled conspiratorially. "Despite that F in civics a couple years back."

Louis pushed his fringe back from his eyes and feigned boredom. Liam sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. Louis cursed the way all the muscles in his arms and chest shuffled as he did so. "Ace."

Liam pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes before dropping his arms and foot and leaning his elbows on his desk. "Are you okay, Lou?"

"Louis."

"I've always called you Lou. Since you were ten."

Louis hated being reminded that Liam knew him practically in diapers. There was no way he saw him as anything other than a kid. Which was fine. Just. Fine. "I'm not ten anymore."

Liam nodded and laced his fingers together, sitting back and dropping them to his lap. "No you're not. You're...how old now? Fifteen?"

"Almost sixteen," Louis snipped.

Liam just nodded again. "Fifteen."

Louis knew Liam's age. Twenty-eight. He'd started just a year before Louis did, as an aid, and with the younger children. He'd been given a harder curriculum and an older age the longer he taught here, meaning Louis literally grew up with him. "And you're old."

Liam laughed, a bit taken aback at the blunt statement. "Maybe to you. I'm half the average age of the teachers around here." Didn't Louis know it. He was one of the few young ones; attracted all the girls (and Louis), loathed by old Ms. Frink simply because he was a looker.

"Still old," Louis held fast to that thought. Too old for you.

"Yeah, maybe," Liam allowed. "Anyway. Why don't you hit me with any questions or concerns you might have? Anything at all." Louis knew Liam was pressing the Zayn issue. But Louis wouldn't bite.

"Got nothing."

Liam looked disappointed before schooling his features together and sucking his teeth. "Alright, then. This was just a preliminary meeting. When it gets closer to mid-term exams we'll have another session, and you can set up a meeting whenever you need me."

Louis nodded absently. He just wanted to get up and sprint out the door to breathe in some non-Liam-filled air. "Is that all?" Louis started to grab his papers, but Liam slapped a hand down on them.

"Louis."

He hated when Liam said his name like that; like he was exasperated to have to deal with him. It made him feel every bit the child he was. "Yes, Mr. Payne?"

They sat stoic, neither budging, until Liam released the papers and waved him off. "Fine. Go on, Mr. Tomlinson. I believe drama practice awaits."

Louis got out of there as soon as possible. He shoved the papers in his locker and ran off to the theatre. The drama teacher, Mrs. Mastesis, welcomed him after he explained where he'd been and he climbed on stage. These kids weren't his friends, but here, at least, he felt safe. They didn't sneer at him or call him names when he was three feet away. Here, his talent outweighed his predisposition.

This school year they were writing, producing, and designing an original play to be performed at the end of term assembly on the last day, along with two nights of ticketed sales the week before Winter break. Louis was both elated and dreading doing a newly-written play. It meant tons of new ideas and a chance for him to shine, but it also meant that the resident English professor would be called upon to help with editing and proofreading. He and the two other writers had a sit down meeting with Liam to go over the script next week and Louis was meant to plan a one-on-one as head writer not long after that. It's like the universe wanted him to lose.

Currently his two co-writers were slaving over a piece of dialogue about the main character's infatuation with the forbidden fruit boy-next-door, Louis' character, and Louis could only relate. A few others were milling about, preparing the theatre for a new year, but most students wouldn't be attending rehearsals for a couple more weeks, once the play was finished being written.

They spent the next hour and half writing and re-writing that one scene, stuck on how the girl should approach the boy. They wrote it multiple ways and hated it. If that wasn't a metaphor for Louis' situation, then what was?

***

Thinking back on it, taking the short cut between buildings after drama practice was dumb on Louis' part. When Malik and crew cornered him and shoved him against the stone wall, Louis knew he'd fucked up.

"Told you I'd make you pay for kicking me."

Louis lurched to try and run, but a minion wrapped an arm around his chest and snapped him back against the wall, hitting his head against it and making Louis groan in pain. He curled his hands into fists and spouted, "Then I'd love to see the punishment for when I punched you in your fat, ugly nose."

Zayn huffed out a sharp breath and swung his fist into Louis' stomach. "Little twink's got a big mouth." His friends cackled darkly and spread Louis' arms out from his body, holding his wrists to the wall. "Bet I could put it to good use."

Louis should shut up, stop being cheeky. He should scream for help, or placate them and hope they get bored and go away. "Wouldn't give me much to work with, I'm sure," is what he said instead.

The fire in Zayn's eyes grew and Louis knew he'd royally fucked up now. "On his knees."

Louis' eyes went wide. He'd never thought Zayn would do any real harm. "No. No!" The friends pulled him down by his wrists and then planted a hand on each shoulder. "Zayn, please." Louis shied away from the bully, but Zayn grabbed his chin and made him face forward again.

"Not so mouthy anymore, huh? Where's your savior now, fuck boy?" Louis went to actually cry for help, pride be damned, but Zayn quickly shoved two fingers in his mouth. "I'll give you plenty to work with." Zayn had one hand undoing his belt and his eyes on Louis' lips, still around his fingers.

The minions had a firm hold on Louis' wrists so Louis did the first thing he could think of. He bit down hard on the intrusive digits and yanked the two boys forward by their grip on him at the same time. Zayn retracted his fingers and stumbled when one friend knocked into him. Louis pushed the other into the mix and shot off from the ground.

The boys were after him in an instant, but Louis ran, now screaming for help. By now all the kids were gone to their dorms or after school activities for the day, but hopefully a teacher or two was still packing up to leave. He was only a few feet from the end of the alley when he felt a hand tighten on the back of his shirt. He thrashed and screamed, but was pulled to the ground and then a heavy weight was on top of him.

"Don't fight me, Lou."

"Get off!"

"Louis?! Louis!"

"Help!"

Liam came running into the alleyway and pulled the bully off of Louis' smaller body. The three instantly took off, but Liam ignored them in favor of helping Louis stand up. Louis straightened out his clothes and hissed when he felt the sudden rush of pain, now that the adrenaline was gone.

Liam put a hand gently to the fresh skid mark decorating Louis' cheek. "Come on," he put a leading hand between Louis' shoulders. "Let's go back inside and I'll clean you up."

Louis turned away and walked back to get his bag. Liam followed. "I'm fine. It's just a scratch." Louis pushed past the teacher. "Why does it always have to be you that finds me?"

Liam caught up and walked next to his student. "I don't know, but I'm glad I did. Those boys were really going to hurt you, weren't they?" Louis wanted to snip off some comment to deflect from his personal embarrassment and sudden lack of confidence, but he didn't have the fight in him. He just nodded instead, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. Liam let his hand come to Louis' shoulder again and squeezed comfortingly. "They won't get away with it. I'll talk to Headmaster Powers, have them removed."

Louis pushed on Liam's chest feebly and sniffled through his unshed tears. "No. Don't. Everyone will know it was because of me."

Liam guided Louis back inside to his office. Louis slumped into the plush chair behind his desk and swiped at a fallen tear. "So what? No one likes those boys. And you shouldn't have to be afraid to go to school and live on these grounds."

"I'm not afraid," Louis parroted his life-long motto easily.

Liam came back to sit on the edge of his desk next to his chair with a few supplies. "I know you're not. You're the bravest kid I've met, Lou."

"It's Louis."

"I know."

Louis finally looked up into Liam's eyes and sighed. "Thanks for," he waved his hands towards Liam's general form, "whatever."

Liam just chuckled and opened an alcohol wipe. "No problem." He turned the chair with Louis in it so he could reach the swollen cheek. "It doesn't look bad. Just don't want it to get infected." Liam's hands were gentle and Louis couldn't breath with how close their faces were. Liam pulled Louis' chair between his legs and started cleaning the wound more thoroughly. Louis' hands clenched on his lap and he cheated his eyes up to the ceiling.

Liam got to a particularly dirty spot and Louis hissed at the sting. "Sorry, sorry," Liam apologized and brushed Louis' fringe back off his face. Their faces were mere inches apart and Louis could practically hear his heart pounding in his chest. Before he could stop himself he surged forward and pressed his lips quickly to Liam's, only for a moment. But the moment seemed like forty years when Louis pulled back and saw the surprise written on Liam's face. Louis rolled the chair back, mouth open in shock from his own actions, and stood.

"I'm sorry," he fumbled his words. "I don't know-that was bad. I'm sorry," he repeated and grabbed his bag to leave.

"Lou," Liam called his name, and Louis froze, but didn't turn around. He heard footsteps and held his breath as he felt the heat of Liam's body behind him. Then Liam's lips were right next to the bruised scrapes on his cheek and something was slipped into his hand. Louis held the contents up to look at them and saw a gauze bandage and a small packet of antibiotic ointment. "Don't let it get infected. I would hate if that face got scarred."

Louis shivered and let his eyes fall closed as Liam's warm breath fanned over his neck. But then he was cold again and he opened his eyes to see Liam with a hand on the doorknob. He opened the door to his office and stepped aside.

"I'll see you in class, Lou."

Louis gathered his wits and stopped next to Liam at the threshold. "It's Louis." He walked out and heard Liam's soft, "I know," before he exited the building and headed back to his dorm.