A/N:
Released on July 4, 2018

Surprise, I'm back!

Sidenote: Happy 4th of July! Even though I'm probably not celebrating this year

I know it's been a long time. (A month...) But I have started writing chapters for Wattpad again!

I still can't write all of my stories, but I'd rather not explain it all again. The information on that is in the latest chapter of my update book "My Wattpad Life in 2018"

I was happily surprised when I finished this chapter this morning and saw that it was the first Wednesday of the month.

If I was still on schedules like before, this would've been an update day! So yay XD

Maybe I'll go back to having a schedule? But I'd only be able to update 2 of my books... So should I update twice a week like before? That would only give me until Saturday to finish the next chapter of "Beyond The Lens" which I have not started yet bc I still don't know if I'll be having a schedule this month.

Ugh. Someone please tell me what to do. I hate decisions. And I don't know if I'm ready to have a schedule again.

I'm supposed to be getting a job (actually I was supposed to get one at the beginning of the summer but I'm extremely lazy and want to sit at home playing games, watching TV, and writing) so I don't know how much free time I'll be getting this month.

So if I don't know what this month is going to look like, how do I make a Wattpad schedule!?!

*sorry for my rant*

Here's a long chapter for the long wait :)

Brace yourselves for the bumpy ride

*throws chapter at you and sneaks away bc I'm too lazy to run*

Word Count: 2773

-----

Chapter 21: The Nagging Voice in My Head

Even though I felt relieved that it had been a random vampire to attack me rather than an enemy of mine, I still had to remember to keep an eye out for any dangers coming my way.

So no matter how exhausting it was before, I had to resume scanning the thoughts of everyone around me as I re-entered the crowd and continued making my way towards the store I saw.

In between the random thoughts of others, I began hearing something out of the ordinary.

"Alicia."

I picked up my pace, attempting to get where I needed to be. It's ridiculous to listen to the voice when it had to just be my paranoia.

"Alicia."

As the voice whispered to me again in my head, my quickened steps started matching my breathing. I was growing more panicked by the second, and keeping up with my telepathy wasn't helping.

Other people's thoughts mixed in with the person whispering my name, dizzying me and causing me to almost run into the store.

My hands against the cool glass of the doors steadied me a bit, but it wasn't enough to rid me of the fear of being followed.

I disappeared into an aisle as quickly as possible, swerving directionlessly to hide from anyone who might be following me.

But the voice continued, getting louder.

"Alicia! Come on, just talk to me for one second!"

My breathing halted instantly when I finally regained my senses enough to recognize the voice.

My hand fell on an abandoned cart next to me in the aisle, relief making me weak in the knees briefly.

"Lucy?" I called out in my head to answer the voice who had been talking to me.

I couldn't believe that I had let paranoia get to me like that.

And after the last time I spoke to my little sister, I wasn't sure I wanted to know why she was reaching out.

"Who else would it be?" She snapped, slightly harsher than she'd meant to, based on the following awkward silence.

It helped remind me of our conversation the last time we were together. And just like before, when I thought of my first date with Zane, I was remembering his exact words.

But this time, I recalled how I felt and what I thought, as if I was reliving the memory.

"So you're just going to take off again." Lucy skipped right to the point. "You're going to bring Jake home, but not tell anyone what's really going on. Is it vampires again?" Lucy guessed accurately.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Lucy. Just know there's a good reason that I keep things from you, okay?" I had my bag packed with a few essentials, then I grabbed a few things from my bathroom.

I quickly shoved the bag with blood and clothes that I got from the hospital into my bag. Lucy must've seen, but she didn't question it because the blood was hidden.

Once I was ready to leave a minute later, I went over and hugged my little sister. "Take care of Mom. I'll bring Jake back, I promise. I love you."

Lucy pulled away from me with a frown. "If you really loved me, you would tell me the truth."

My arms dropped to my sides like dead weights and I stopped breathing. I couldn't even process the fact that she'd just said something so childish to me, something that hurt more than what my dad said.

"I can't tell you." I told her in a monotone, walking out the bedroom door and downstairs, out the front door with my bag in hand.

The ache in my heart from the memory doubled as if I was reliving it. If only that wasn't true.

I made a mental note to mention this "reliving my memories" thing to Zane to see what he knows about it.

"Hello? Alicia?" Lucy thought out to me snappily to gain my attention once again.

"Yeah?" I thought back to her, wondering why she would bother to talk to me so soon after the horrible exchange we had the last time we saw each other.

Maybe it didn't hurt her as much as it hurt me? Maybe she already got over it.

There was a long pause after I answered, while I pondered the option that she accidentally called out to me but didn't actually want to talk.

"What's up?" Lucy asked hesitantly, proving that she did have something to say. She just didn't want to say it.

"Are you checking up on me?" I replied incredulously.

She didn't have the right to check up on me after what she said, acting as if everything was fine.

"Well, we haven't talked since you left and I wanted to know what's up." She tried to casually start up a natural conversation, but both of us knew it wasn't going to work this time.

And I was the one who would point it out this time.

"Like, if I found Jake yet? I'm pretty sure you'd be the first person to know if I found him." I retorted, attempting to keep the anger out of my voice but allowing the sarcasm to stay.

The only problem with that was the fact that Lucy was feeling extra snappy and I had no clue that my sister could feel that way without extreme provocation from me coming first.

Usually she would only snap after a long conversation of her asking questions and me avoiding them to the best of my abilities.

"I figured the first person to find out if you found Jake would be that vampire boy. Isn't he with you?" Lucy accused, causing me to let go of the cart that I was using to keep my balance.

I stumbled a step, quickly glancing around to see if I caught anyone's attention with my strange behavior, but no one was in the aisle that I was standing in.

I moved on from there, deciding it would be safer for me to just walk around the store pretending to shop while communicating with Lucy.

"No, actually. He's not with me right now." I spat out, not exactly lying, which made it easier to not tell my sister the truth.

As I'd probably mentioned a million times before, I promised my little sister that I would never lie to her because she knows I distrust almost everyone but her.

I had always wanted her to trust me to be there for her, and she did because I promised no lies.

So I would get around that with half truths, topic changes, and vague responses whenever I couldn't tell her the truth. Anything to avoid lying to her.

"Oh yeah? So he isn't the real reason you left?" Lucy rudely demanded to know.

The tone of voice that she used, which I rarely heard from her, wasn't what hurt the most. Nor was it that she thought I didn't care about finding Jake.

It was the fact that she accused me of lying to her, after I had sworn I would never do that, and she had the nerve to confront me about it.

That meant that she had been doubting my need to find my missing older brother for a while now. To accuse me like that, it would've been troubling her mind ever since I left. Maybe even from the moment I told her I had to leave.

"Lucy, why in the world would you ask me that?" I fumed, furious that my sister would think that way about me.

"No, you didn't even have the decency to ask!" I thought out to her, accidentally projecting my feelings as well so she knew how her words affected me.

"First, his name is Zane, and you knew that! Second, I left to find Jake, just as I promised. I don't break my promises, and you should know that!" I snapped, unable to care that my emotions were out of control because I was so lost in my own blinding rage.

I felt how she flinched away from my anger. I could tell that was how she reacted because I knew her so well. Plus I felt her mind draw back a bit, like she wanted to pull away from our conversation.

She hardly ever saw me that way. Sure, since we were in each other's heads she couldn't see me. But the way my thoughts were headed, she could tell I was so angry that I wanted to hit something.

"I needed to know." Lucy thought to me. The softness to her words and the not far off apology made me clench my fists.

How could I keep being so angry while also hurting Lucile? She was my favorite person in the world.

Deep down, I knew I couldn't blame her for asking a question that seemed so cold, since I never really answered her other questions.

The only person I had to blame was myself. I pushed her to the point of desperation, to the point of accusing me of lying.

"Is he the real reason you left? Do you even want to find Jake?" Lucy repeated her concern, her tone much calmer than the first time.

"I want to find Jake. It's just become... complicated." I answered as vaguely as I could, just like always.

"I need you to explain this time, Alicia. Jake's life might be on the line." Lucy begged me to tell her.

I couldn't find it in my undead heart to say no.

"Zane is helping with my telepathy and with finding Jake. I need to be strong in case of a fight. But we got sidetracked because we keep getting new enemies attacking. But I am still looking for Jake." I informed Lucy, thinking of all of the obstacles we've had to overcome since I went out to find my older brother.

First Ash was attacked by two vampires that Storm sent to find us, which he still hadn't told us about. With his story about how he turned and then him almost getting killed, I'd forgotten all about his run in with the other vampires.

With that, the werewolf attack, the vampire hunters, and the telepath who I defeated in some dream he created, we had a lot to deal with.

"New enemies? You mean, theoretically? Or have they actually been attacking you?" She asked in a rush, worried about what had been going on.

And that is why I tried not to tell her things. Because if I told her what really went on in my life, she'd be extremely worried. Plus, the whole me being a vampire thing would probably make her hate me.

"We've already handled it, Lucy. There's nothing you can do. Besides, I'm doing this to find Jake." I reminded her once again as I continued shuffling around the store, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

"And you really need to have a vampire with you? It's dangerous!" She claimed, not even knowing the half of it.

If only she knew that I was the reason that I'd put my friends and myself in danger, because I'm a telepathic vampire that Storm wants to get a hold of.

"Like I told you at the house, Zane is my friend. He helped me and now he's helping me again. He's not a bad guy." I swore to my sister, but she wasn't buying into it that easily.

"What does he want in return? Why is he helping you?" Lucy interrogated, aggravating me beyond the point of more pointless explanations.

I stopped moving, even stopped breathing as I filled with the earlier rage that almost caused me to say something that I'd regret.

"Are you questioning Zane or me? Because it seems like both. I said that he's helping me, so now are you doubting my ability to know who's good and who's bad? If you're asking me these questions because you don't trust me, then I suggest you leave me alone. I don't want to hear it." I ranted, only realizing at the end that I probably looked weird standing alone in the grocery store empty handed, staring off into space as I telepathically spoke with my little sister.

As I finally found the aisle with water bottles, the whole reason I went out of the house alone in the first place, the silence made my head pound and my heart ache.

"I should go check on Mom... She's been anxious since you left." Lucy thought hesitantly, doing exactly as I said by leaving me alone.

But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Lucy, the only family I'm close to, to reassure me that she wasn't doubting me or thinking that I was lying to her.

I wanted her to console me and tell me that she had always and would always be there for me.

Instead, she confirmed that my little sister, who I had sworn to protect and almost died to keep her secret from Storm, had lost faith in her big sister.

"Bye, Alicia." Lucy sent me one last thought.

And it broke my heart.

But like usual, I pushed away the hurt I felt to get the job done.

Looking at the selection of water bottles, I saw the kind that my mom would always buy. So I quickly turned and grabbed a different kind, not wanting to be reminded of my family.

After paying for the water bottles and shoving them in my backpack, I hurried out of the store.

Then would've been the perfect time for literally anyone to attack, because I didn't care at all.

I closed off every thought around me, including my own, to block out the overwhelming feeling that I was losing my sister. My best friend. My only friend.

I could hear every heartbeat around me, and adding thoughts to that might've caused me to go off the deep end.

Once I made it out of the city and started running like crazy through the woods to Ash's old house, I didn't feel any better by getting away.

Because then I was utterly alone with my thoughts that were trying to crush me.

How could I let this happen? How could I let my relationship with Lucy shatter like that?

Maybe it would've been better for me to have told her that I was turned into a vampire. At least then I wouldn't have had to avoid the truth for so long. She wouldn't be able to even look at me if she knew what I was.

Then it would've been her fault that we weren't talking, and not mine. I wouldn't be feeling this horrifying guilt that I'd done something wrong, when really, I'd only been trying to protect Lucile.

Like any big sister would do.

When I sensed that Zane was waiting on the steps for me, I could no longer contain my emotions as tears welled up in my eyes.

The moment Zane saw me, he launched himself forward and wrapped his arms around me.

We stood like that in front of the old house as tears silently fell down my cheeks.

When I could speak, Zane asked me what was wrong and sat me on the ground next to him as I poured out everything that Lucy had said and implied.

Zane had never seen me like that, with tears streaming down my face, because I always put up a wall between myself and my stupid emotions. But I couldn't bring myself to care about hiding it that time, when it felt like I was losing her.

Zane pulled me closer, one arm around my waist and the other rubbing my arm reassuringly, whispering in my ear to calm me down.

Once the tears stopped falling, Zane made a promise that I should've made to myself before all of that happened. "Alicia, I promise you that when we get back to your house, I'll help you tell Lucy the truth."

Looking into his deep blue eyes, I knew that he'd do anything to keep me from feeling that way again. The wrinkle of his concerned gaze made it obvious that he hated seeing me hurting.

I dropped my head on his shoulder and nodded, too upset to make up excuses not to tell Lucy. Like I had been doing since I was turned.

I shifted in my spot so that I could put both of my arms around my boyfriend and properly bury my face in his shirt, inhaling the wonderful smell that was Zane Elias Byne.