Chapter Twenty-Six

Eleanor slipped out the back door of The Hackney Saloon and Brothel. She needed sunlight and air and neither of those things were going to be found if she remained locked in her bedroom. It was nearing lunch and she had dressed in the most modest and decent pink short-sleeve blouse and black wool skirt she owned in an attempt to camouflage herself among the other townsfolk. With her blond hair pulled back on her head, a lack of paint on her face, and her modest clothes she resembled any other lady walking down the street.

Her stomach rolled. The nausea was not easing. Though whether it was the pregnancy, her own nerves, or a combination of the two—Eleanor couldn't be sure. Her reason for walking into town wasn't just air. She needed to stop at the apothecary and get the herbs necessary to end a pregnancy. Her pregnancy. Could she do it? She still wasn't certain. Did she have any other choice? She wasn't certain of that either.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Eleanor made her way to main street and headed for the doctors' office and apothecary. Lewis, the doctors' nephew, was standing behind the counter. He frowned when she walked in.

"Can I help you, ma'am? I don't believe I've seen you around before."

He had. He had even paid for her services a time or two. But he wouldn't recognize her outside of her work costume and make up out in the broad daylight dressed as a lady. "I was wanting to purchase some herbs," she replied, wringing her hands as she held them down in front of her. "I'm hoping you might have them in stock."

"Of course, ma'am. We carry a wide selection. Is there a particular herb you're needing? If you tell me what you need it for, I can help you choose the best herbal medication for you."

Eleanor shook her head. "I know what I need." She glanced around the storefront at all the bottles laid out for display. Her hands were shaking as she wrung them so tightly it caused pain. "I need some rue if you have some."

His friendly eyes widened slightly as he pulled off his glasses and wiped them with his shirt sleeve. "Rue? We don't get many requests for that herb, ma'am. It can be quite dangerous. May I ask what you're using it for."

Eleanor was not about to utter the truth. She licked her shaking bottom lip. "I have stomach issues from time to time and it helps with those."

Lewis shook his head, setting his spectacles back on his nose. "I don't know many doctors who are giving rue for stomach upset. It truly is a dangerous herb, ma'am. There are much gentler methods to soothe your stomach. Peppermint is often...."

"I don't want peppermint," Eleanor quickly snapped with a stomp of her foot, cutting him off and causing his jaw to drop. She swallowed hard and tipped her head. "Lewis, I want rue. Will you sell it to me or not?"

A shocked expression studied her closely for several moments. Then she saw recognition enter those eyes and she nearly turned and ran. "You're from the brothel, aren't you? Yeah, I recognize you."

Eleanor felt tears spring behind her eyes, though she fought them with everything she had. "Yes, Lewis. I work in the brothel. I hardly see how that has anything to do with this sale...."

"Rue is a very dangerous herb, ma'am. It can cause a lot of harm..." His gaze dropped to her stomach. "I beg of you to think through the choices you seem to be making."

Laying her hands on the counter, Eleanor stood her ground. "And I beg of you to use discretion. Will you sell me what I'm asking for or not?"

He shifted his feet, his face paling. "Perhaps you should talk to my uncle...."

"And will your uncle raise this child, Lewis?" she snapped in an angry hissed whisper. "Either sell me what I'm asking for, show me where it is and I'll get it myself, or be prepared to become an adoptive father when I drop this child on your doorstep. I have no other options—trust me when I tell you I have thought about it. It is all I have thought about."

The bell above the door signaled someone entering. Eleanor jumped to the side as and elderly couple entered the store. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Wynn," Lewis greeted, plastering a friendly smile once again on his face.

"Hi there, Lewis," Mr. Wynn replied in an aged and shaky voice.

Eleanor stepped to the side and folded her hands, lowering her head. Her mind was racing. Damn Lewis for making this so difficult. Why couldn't the man simply sell her what she needed and let her be on her way? Why did anyone have a right to judge her? Especially when they were offering no real alternatives or solutions.

She ignored the conversations going on between the Wynn's and Lewis. If they spoke to her, she had no idea. Her mind was simply too jumbled.

It wasn't until Lewis was suddenly in front of her, taking her hand and laying a bottle of herbs in her palm that Eleanor was pulled from those tangled thoughts and brought back to the present. "Eleanor, I'm sorry. All I ask is that you use caution. Rue can work but it can also be very dangerous. You only need a small amount in your tea. Don't use too much."

Eleanor glanced around and realized they were once again alone. A tear slipped down her cheek. "Thank you, Lewis."

He let out a long sigh. "Please don't tell anyone you got this from me and I won't tell anyone you were here for it. If my uncle found out I gave you rue he would be very angry."

"I can promise I don't intend to tell anyone," she vowed, swiping at her face. He simply nodded as she slipped the bottle into her pocket. "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not looking for charity..."

"Just go, Eleanor. I'm leaving town in few days. Consider it a going away present from me to you."

Eleanor wanted to insist but she also knew when to simply take something and keep her mouth closed about it. With one last whisper of thanks, she lowered her head and left the store. Eleanor didn't pause as she raced back toward the brothel.

She wasn't even paying attention to where she was going until she found herself running into someone. "Eleanor?" Samantha's voice reached her ears. "Are you okay?"

Eleanor forced her raging emotions down into her gut and managed a smile. "I'm fine," she assured the other women as they gripped each other to steady themselves. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Neither was I," Samantha laughed. "I was paying more attention to my stomach than my footsteps."

Eleanor noticed the definite change in the woman. For the first six months that she had known Samantha, the woman had always seemed scared, pale, small, and withdrawn. She had never seen her smile or act free spirited or happy. Samantha was all of those things now. Eleanor's heart cried out with happiness for her friend—at the same time as it cried out with sadness over her own situation.

"Gavin and I were going to go to the diner for lunch. Would you like to join us?" Samantha offered.

Eleanor saw the small, quiet, bespectacled post office clerk standing behind Samantha. She was surprised that Zachary's overprotectiveness had allowed Samantha to wander from his sight. "Where is Zachary?"

"At the farm working." Samantha waved her hand. "Will you join us for lunch?"

Shame colored Eleanor's cheeks. "I'm not allowed to dine with everyone else, Samantha."

Eleanor's eyes were drawn to Samantha's hips and the gun belt that rested there as the other woman adjusted it. "I'm willing to put my foot down and insist they allow you to."

"A gun?" Eleanor laughed lightly, surprising herself.

Samantha put her hands on her hips. "Yep. Zachary seems to appreciate how I look in leather and iron."

Gavin let out a quick laugh which he attempted to then camouflage by a cough as his cheeks reddened. "He did seem to have a hard time saying goodbye to you this morning."

It was Samantha's turn to redden. "So, what do you say, Eleanor?"

Most days Eleanor would agree to fighting the unfairness of town but today she simply didn't have the strength of mind or spirit. Samantha seemed to recognize her signs of exhaustion. Her expression softened. "How about I go order us some lunch and you and I can go sit under the tree behind the post office and eat together?"

"But you were going to eat with Gavin..."

"Don't worry about me," Gavin insisted. "I can take my lunch into the post office and get some work done while I eat."

Eleanor was tempted to still say no. She didn't have much of an appetite and she knew that Samantha was going to push her to speak... But she also did not want to push the other woman away—Eleanor needed her friendship.

"That sounds good, Samantha."

"Great!" Samantha reached out and wrapped Eleanor in a warm hug, surprising her and nearly causing her to break down in tears right there as she held her back. "I'll get us something to eat and we'll sit down and have some woman time. I think we could both use a bit."

***

Samantha was worried about Eleanor. As the two women sat down together beneath the shade of an old oak behind the post office, Samantha couldn't help but notice that she seemed tense, sad, worried, and distracted. Eleanor had always been vibrant, beautiful, and confident—she seemed a shell of her former self. What was wrong with the woman?

"How have you been, Eleanor?"

"Fine," the other woman quickly replied, picking at the piece of fried chicken on her tray.

"Are you sure?" Samantha frowned. "You don't seem fine."

"I've been a bit sick lately," Eleanor admitted. "Stomach issues and I haven't been working much. But I'm beginning to feel better."

"Did Thomas do something to you?" She pointed at the healing bruise on Eleanor's arm. "Is that from him?"

Eleanor rubbed at that bruise and nodded. "Yes, but it was before Zachary's warning to him the other day. He hasn't done anything to me since. He's even been allowing me to take some time from working while I've been ill."

Samantha took a bite of her own chicken. "Well, that's good I suppose. You know you can talk to me, right? I would help you anyway I could if you needed help."

Eleanor smiled, the expression so sad it made Samantha's heart ache for her. "I remember not too long ago when it was me begging you to let us girls in and open up."

"Our roles have reversed it seems," Samantha agreed. "You can talk to me, Eleanor."

Eleanor reached out and laid her hand over Samantha's. "I know." Her gaze caught sight of the delicate golden chain around Samantha's neck. The necklace disappeared into Samantha's shirt. Golden jewelry was expensive—and not something Eleanor had ever seen Samantha with before.

Samantha glanced down, following Eleanor's gaze. She smiled and pulled the heart shaped emerald from under her blouse. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Where did you get that?" Eleanor gasped because it was indeed beautiful.

"Zachary. His father gave it to his mother and Zachary gave it to me—it's to symbolize our engagement."

"Engagement?" Eleanor's eyes widened.

"Yes," Samantha's cheeks reddened as she took a sip of tea. "He asked me to be his wife last night and I agreed."

Eleanor leaped forward and pulled Samantha into a hug. "I am so very happy for you, Samantha! I was worried about Zachary at first—worried that with his history and temper he might hurt you." Eleanor pulled away and smiled. "I can see now I was wrong. Zachary has been so good for you."

Samantha was happy. So happy. But that did not take away the worry she felt for her friend. Something was wrong with Eleanor—and it was clearly not something she was going to open up about it as they sat here eating their lunch.

After several moments of both women quietly eating, Samantha cleared her throat. "Maybe your Zachary will come soon, Eleanor. And he'll give you the strength to open up and fall in love and have a different life."

Eleanor pushed her food away, brought her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she stared off into the distance. "Whores don't get to fall in love, Samantha. We don't deserve that life."

Samantha's heart ached and she knew that Eleanor was wrong. Eleanor was a good woman. Caroline was a good woman. Most of the girls from that saloon, the ones that Samantha had spoken to at least, were good women.

"Everyone deserves that life, Eleanor. Everyone deserves love and happiness."

Eleanor sighed as a tear slipped from the corner of her blue eye. "I wish I believed that, Sam." 

A/N: Poor Eleanor. Maybe things will get better for her soon. There will be Zachary/Samantha time next chapter of course but I'm also thinking it might be time to start having a bit of Timothy/Eleanor interaction. What do you all think? Thank you for reading and commenting! Y'alls support means the world to me! 

Love ya

Nicole