Chapter Fifteen

Zachary was pacing back and forth. His hat was clenched in one fist by his side and he kept shoving his other hand through his thick black hair. Samantha couldn't make out what he was saying but she could hear his deep voice muttering as he strode left and right. Zachary's face was a tangled mask of rage and pain.

Samantha simply stood there beside that stream with pain in her heart and the feel of Zachary's kiss still lingering on her lips. Her mind was swirling with the shock and confusion of recent events. Riding along with Zachary, laughing, feel so at peace. Opening up to him, reliving the terrible events that had led to her life on the run. Zachary holding her so tenderly against him, those strong arms making her feel safe, secure, and protected. The hunger in his eyes, the fire in his touch, and the passion in that kiss as he had all but devoured her on the streambank. His assurances that he would keep her safe, that he wanted to stand at her side. Finally saying the name she had kept hidden for two and a half years—and now Zachary's reaction to hearing that name.

It was obvious that Zachary knew Clinton Matthews. But how? Had he met him during the five years he'd been chasing his family's killer? Was he friends with Clinton? No. No, she knew that wasn't the answer. Not only was Zachary too good a man to be friends with someone like Clinton Matthews, but his reaction to hearing that name certainly didn't invoke feelings of friendship.

So, what was it?

Samantha had to calm Zachary down if she wanted to find out. The man was as lost in his pacing and his thoughts as she'd seen him the day he'd burnt the farmhouse down. Saying his name once didn't seem to reach the man so instead, Samantha approached him, stood in his path and reached out her hands, placing them firmly on his chest to stop his pacing.

Zachary's dark eyes were tormented when they met hers. Samantha swallowed hard, hating to see the man so lost—and yet knowing his expression was matched by her own. "Zachary, what is it? How do you know that name?"

His free hand was suddenly on her hip, sending shockwaves that ricocheted throughout her body as firmly yet gently gripped her and pulled her closer. "That's the bastard that killed my family."

Samantha could not hide her shock. Her jaw dropped as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth. "He.. he was?"

Zachary nodded. He glanced out over the horizon and squinted at the midday sun. "Yeah. My pa came from money—a lot of money. He inherited everything his parents had when they passed young and he had investments in oil and the railroad that made that money grow. He met my mama, and she was a dirt floor poor farm girl from Kansas. She wasn't a bit impressed by all his money when he used it to try to woo her and she refused his advances. Pa claimed she laughed at him and it wasn't until she saw him taking care of her grandmother that she realized the man was more than just his coin purse. Once she opened up, they fell in love quick and knew each other less than a month before they married.

"When my mama's grandmother passed away shortly after that, she wanted to go somewhere else with pa and start their life together. He told her she could have whatever she wanted—whatever life she craved. Big cities, mansions, foreign counties, he offered her the world."

Zachary paused a moment as the ghost of a smile curved his lips. Samantha wasn't certain why he was telling her these things or what they had to do with Clinton Matthews, but she was happy to see Zachary opening up and discussing his family—she was humbled that he trusted her enough to let his guard down and do so.

"What mama wanted, all she asked her wealthy husband for, was a simple farmhouse, some cattle, some horses, some crops, and a garden full of flowers. So that's what pa gave her. And they built that life and that family and worked side by side to do it. They were married for twenty-three years and never had a cross word between them."

Samantha laid her hand on his cheek. "People who find that kind of love are blessed, Zachary. Your parents were blessed to have one another."

Zachary gaze lowered to meet hers. Those deep brown eyes spoke words that left her speechless just before he lowered his head and pressed the lightest of kisses to her lips—barely more than a brush of skin on skin that left her legs shaking and her heart pounding.

"They didn't get a happy ending though, Sam," he reminded her as he pulled away and walked back to that boulder, sitting down on it and staring down at his calloused hands. "I was nineteen when it happened. My sisters were ten. Susan and Sara were good girls—angels really. My parents had a boy between me and the girls but he didn't live more than a few days. My mama took it real rough and I think that's why they waited so long to have the girls. Clinton Matthews had asked around and realized my family was wealthy. He tried to befriend my pa to scam him out of money but my pa saw through him especially after my mama told him that Clinton made her feel uncomfortable. He sent the bastard on his way and we thought that was the end of it."

Samantha went to the rock and was going to sit beside Zachary but he was quick to grab hold of her and pull her onto his lap, wrapping his arms tight around her. Their bodies so close together caused a strange combination of heat and peace and swirl in Samantha's blood. She didn't pull away or argue that such contact wasn't proper. She didn't care about propriety. Sharing this intimacy with Zachary somehow felt natural, and she knew that while Zachary was physically very strong, he very much needed her to help him with his heartache.

So, Samantha laid her head against his chest, looked down at the water bubbling past, and waited for him to speak again. "I had been gone playing poker and drinking and spending time with paid women—just like most nineteen year old boys do if they get a few days away from their parents. When I came home, I knew right away something wasn't right. It was mid-morning and my mama should have been out in her flower gardens. She was always humming or singing while she weeded and pruned them—she took a lot of pride in those things. My pa should have been tending to the horses. The girls should have been running around chasing chickens or playing jump rope. There should have been laughter, talking, humming, singing, happiness.... But there was nothing. Just this heavy, oppressive silence that chilled me to the core. I never imagined it would be anything as bad as it was. I just thought maybe they were ill or someone wasn't feeling well. I put Blaze up in the barn and headed inside."

His arms around her tensed. His voice was tight. His brown eyes simply stared at the grass but she knew they weren't seeing the blades swaying in the breeze. They were seeing the past. "I don't need to give you details on what I found. I don't want you having that in your head and you saw enough. Just by seeing the scene, I knew they'd been killed the night before—and if I'd have been there instead of out being foolish I could have saved them..."

"Don't do that," Samantha quickly interjected, raising her head. His brow raised as he turned his gaze down to her. "Don't blame yourself, Zachary. You couldn't have known the evil that lived inside that man or what he would do."

"But if I had been there..."

"You'd be dead." She knew her answer was blunt but she also knew it was the truth. "I saw enough to know he surprised your parents—you would have been just as surprised. And I'm sure he wasn't alone. Do you know how many people Clinton Matthews and his men have killed trying to get me? I carry that guilt, Zachary, because had I just gone with him..."

Anger flashed in Zachary's brown eyes and possessiveness deepened his voice. "He won't ever touch you, Samantha. And nothing he's done is your fault."

Samantha trembled, some primitive force within her appreciating that this strong, able man was now on her side and she was no longer alone with her fear. She offered a gentle smile and pushed a lock of dark hair from his brow. "It's not yours either."

He simply stared hard at her a moment, fighting some unseen, unheard battle within his mind. Finally, he let out a long sigh and laid his forehead against hers as his eyes closed. "Thank you."

Silence reigned for several long moments as they remained there. Eyes closed, brows together, breath mingling. A curious bee buzzed around their heads and Zachary waved it away with a grumble. Finally, he raised his head. Samantha rested herself once again against his chest. "Zachary, how did you know know that Clinton Matthews was responsible?"

Zachary snorted. "The bastard left me a note telling me he'd done it and letting me know he'd done it because my ma and pa had insulted him by refusing his friendship. Him and men that ride with him took my families lives and took more from my mama as well as my sister's innocence, all because that bastard had his pride wounded."

Samantha swallowed bile. She had known that Zachary's family had been killed but she hadn't realized that his mother and sisters had been raped as well. What kind of man saw ten year old girls as anything more than innocent children?

"Did you go to the law?"

"I tried. First thing I did was ride into town. That's why the rumors started. I was covered in blood and full of rage as I rode down main street. The lone survivor of the Marston family massacre. I must have killed them myself."

"That's absurd. How could anyone that knew you think you'd harm your own family? I haven't known you long but I've known from the start you were good. You're no killer."

Zachary's expression became guarded. "I have killed, Sam. I have taken a lot of men's lives. And it wasn't always fair fights. When you're chasing men like Clinton Matthews and those that run with him, you can't afford to fight fair."

"You are a good man, Zachary. A good man who was forced to do things he shouldn't have been forced to do. I'm going to guess that the law was no help because they're afraid of Clinton Matthews?" When Zachary nodded, Samantha sighed. "I know because I tried to get help as well. No one would help me and I tried Sheriffs, US Marshalls, anyone I could think of but no one cared. The moment I said his name, they let me know they couldn't help and walked away."

"Fucking cowards."

Samantha laughed, though it wasn't an overly humorous one. "My thoughts exactly."

After several more moments of simply sitting curled together upon that rock, Zachary rose up without a word and sat her on her feet. He stepped to Athena who had been busy munching grass and placed her reins in Samantha's hand. "We'll head back to town. From now on you stay at the hotel. You don't leave for any reason and..."

Samantha squared her shoulders. "No."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean no? I'm trying to keep you safe..."

"I won't hide away in fear anymore. I lived my life that way for too long and I can't, I won't, go back there."

"Samantha.."

"No." She stood her ground. "I already gave Clinton Matthews two and a half years of my life. I won't give him anymore. I have to have a life, Zach. I didn't die when my father did..." Her voice broke. "I have to have a life."

Zachary growled, turned his back, stormed away a few steps, and then came back. "Fine. You can leave the hotel but never alone. Only with Timothy. And I'll be back as soon as it's done."

Samantha frowned. "Where are you going? When what's done?"

Zachary put his hat on his head and adjusted the rifle on his back. "I won't let him hurt you, Sam. I'm going after him and I'll do a better damn job of it this time."

Samantha could not believe her ears. Zachary had lost his mind. She shook her head and met his gaze full force. "No. You won't be doing that."

Zachary seemed taken aback for a moment. He yanked his hat back off and let his arm drop. "Don't be thinking that because I showed some weakness with you, you can tell me what to do, Samantha. I won't be talked out of this."

"Why?" she demanded, throwing up her hands.

Zachary seemed equally as frustrated. "Because I won't let him take anything else from me.... Or from you. You should understand that."

"If you don't want him to take anything else from us, then don't waste any more time chasing him."

"Goddammit, what do you expect me to do, Samantha? Stay here and twiddle my damn thumbs until he shows up to take you?"

She let out a tired sigh. "Zachary...."

"No." Zachary turned his back. "Let's get back to town."

He hefted himself into Blaze's saddle and urged the horse back toward town. Apparently, Zachary Marston had decided he was done with the conversation. Slipping onto Athena's back, Samantha followed after him while letting her thoughts wander.

When they arrived back in town, not another word had been spoken between them. Zachary stopped at the hotel and motioned for Samantha to get off Athena. She did. He hitched both horses and headed inside, with Samantha simply following his lead.

Standing outside her hotel room door, Zachary finally met her gaze. His brown eyes were haunted. Conflicted. "I'll be back when it's done Samantha. I'll have Timothy move into the room next to yours. Don't be going out alone..."

"I told you I'm not doing that, Zachary." Samantha insisted.

Zachary growled. "Well why the hell not?"

"I've already explained that to you. I have spent two and a half years running and hiding and I am done. I want to have a life—preferably a life with you—and I won't let him take that away from me."

Zachary's throat worked as he swallowed hard. "For us to have that future, he needs to be dead."

"Why?" Samantha crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to hold her sadness and her desperation inside of her. If she let them free, she would once again be sobbing and Samantha did not want that to happen.

Zachary's fists clenched. "You know why."

Samantha softly kicked the rug at her feet with the toe of her boot as she kept her gaze on the floor. "Zachary, I want a life with you. I think we could have something quite special between us—something like what you described your parents having. But we can't have that if you live your life for vengeance. I won't sit here wondering if you're ever going to come back or if you're going to die. I refuse to do that to myself."

Samantha didn't dare look up as silence reigned. She didn't want to look at Zachary—if she looked at him, she would lose control of the tears she was carefully holding back.

Zachary's voice was tight and thick with emotion when he spoke. "I will do what I have to do to keep you safe, Samantha, whether you're happy about it or not."

Samantha nodded. She went to her door and opened it. Stepping into the room, Samantha stared at the cream plastered wall. "Then I guess you have a choice to make, Zachary. You can either stay here with me, take care of what's growing between us, and build a life together." That sounded so good—why would he possibly choose anything else? "Or you can spend your time chasing devils and let Clinton Matthews steal your life from you like he has so many others—and he won't even have to kill you to do it."

Zachary was silent. He did not say a word for a long while. Samantha wanted to scream. Why was this a hard decision? Hadn't Clinton Matthews stolen quite enough away from them? "I'll do what I have to do," he repeated, his cold voice causing Samantha to wince.

She heard the door close and when she turned around, Zachary was gone. Samantha went to the bed and curled up upon it, bringing her knees into her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She stared at the sunlight shining in the window and the dust motes dancing around in the rays.

Samantha was so tired. For a day that had started off so promising with its laughter, tender touches, and passionate kiss, it sure had went to hell in a hurry. Clinton Matthews had stolen her father, her home, her sense of safety, and two and a half years of her life thanks to his obsession with her. And now, she was losing Zachary—because of his obsession with Clinton Matthews.

A/N:  Poor Sam. Poor Zach. I'm a monster. Truly. Where do we go from here? Zachary out chasing devils and Samantha trying desperately to continue to build a life without him there? We shall see how things unfold.