Chapter Eleven

Sabine and her parents arrived in London a few weeks later as February arrived. They’d planned on travelling as soon as possible, however they’d received another letter from Emilia asking if they’d delay a trip until February to give Kitty a little time to adjust. Daniel had said that adjusting would not take ‘a little time’.

Sabine had spent most of the time with Connor in the stables. His words consoled her and his presence comforted her. In those weeks, she had stopped feeling so upset and saddened, and instead remembered Captain Aubrey for the wonderful person he was, and she that she had been lucky to call him ‘friend’.

Dressed in a black satin gown that was tightly cinched at the waist, she and her parents walked through the gates of Ethridge.

The door opened before they could reach it, and Mr Carter welcomed them, taking their travelling cloaks without his usual professional banter.

Sabine could feel the sadness on the walls of the great house. The maids kept their heads down and the footmen did not make eye contact. Little J emerged from the drawing room accompanied by her brother, both wearing their mourning clothes, and their mourning expressions.

Little J immediately came over to hug Sabine tightly. Pulling back, she looked to Daniel and Jane. “Mama and papa are upstairs with Kitty … she doesn’t talk much. Grandmamma is here as well, she arrived a few days ago.”

“How is Kitty?” Jane asked carefully, coming over to give her niece a kiss on the cheek.

“She’s not Kitty anymore,” James said sadly. Sabine sometimes forgot that James and Kitty were twins and that even though they didn’t get along all the time, they shared a special connection that only twins could.

“She appears to have melancholia,” Little J sighed. “Come into the drawing room, I’ll ring the bell for Mrs Norris to make you something to eat, you must be famished after your journey.”

They spent the rest of the day conversing with Little J and James, as well as Catherine who had joined them in the drawing room. Every so often either Emilia or Sebastian would enter and give them a report on how Kitty was progressing.

According to Emilia and Sebastian, Kitty had improved when it came to eating and bathing, but she wasn’t talking often and she refused to leave her bedchamber.

Sabine desperately wanted to go upstairs and see her but her aunt and uncle had barred it – they didn’t want her to be overwhelmed.

The following day, as they sat down to luncheon, Catherine rose from her seat abruptly. “I’m going to go and see Kitty,” she said firmly, holding a finger up to her son before he could protest. “I’ll invite her downstairs so she can be with everyone. Staying alone is not healthy.” With than she disappeared out the dining room door.

“Let’s just eat, everyone,” Sebastian said, gesturing to the several platters of cold meats, fruit and cheese before them. Sabine pulled some fruit onto her plate and began to delicately slice it.

“Are you alright?” her mother whispered to her.

Sabine furrowed her eyebrows. “Why are you worried about me?” she asked.

“I am always worried about you – you are my daughter,” she said simply. “This is a very trying time, I want to know you’re coping.”

Sabine nodded. “I am fine, mama,” she promised. And she was. She was alright. She was in a place where she could remember her friend fondly. This was a place that Kitty would not be in for a very long time.

The family continued their quiet conversations for the best part of twenty minutes. Wine was repoured and plates were restocked, but the absence of Catherine and Kitty’s empty chair were very evident in their minds.

Without warning, Emilia rose from her chair and quickly hurried from the dining room, her thick, black skirts making a rustling sound as she moved.

“I can’t imagine what she’s going through,” Sabine heard her mother say to Daniel. “To watch a child in such pain …”

“I know,” Daniel breathed. As he did so the doors to the dining room opened once more. Sabine looked up instinctively and dropped her fork as she saw three women enter.

On Catherine and Emilia’s arms, Kitty walked … or rather waddled … in. She looked positively ghastly. Of course, she was still beautiful, but compared to her usual appearance, Kitty’s face was frightening. She’d lost weight around her face, which made her cheekbones look more prominent, it was ironic considering she’d gained weight around her swollen stomach. Her eyes were dull, and she had bruise like shadows underneath them. Her pink lips were pursed as she surveyed her family, all of whom were staring at her, the men standing.

“Kitty,” Sebastian said, smiling. “I’m so glad you’ve joined us. We’ve all missed seeing your pretty face every day.”

Kitty appeared sad and confused at her father’s statement. “Thank you, papa,” she replied. Sabine could tell that Kitty did not really know what to say.

Whilst wearing her nightgown, she was helped to her seat beside her mother. Emilia and Catherine resumed their seats and the family began eating again, though this time silently. Sabine noticed several looks shared between the couples of the table – her own parents, her aunt and uncle and Annie and Joseph. Perhaps, once married, one had the ability to read the mind of their spouse. They all looked as if they were worried and uncomfortable.

“Do not walk on eggshells around me, please,” Kitty murmured from a few chairs over. “Carry on as if I were not here.” Reaching out to a fruit platter, she pulled off a small bunch of grapes and began to eat them slowly.

To Sabine’s surprise, her mother spoke up. “Kitty,” Jane said soothingly. “We do not want to pretend that you are not here, I think we’re just trying to be supportive. It would be disrespectful of us to just carry on talking.”

Kitty looked up at Jane with a hint of admiration in her eyes. “I appreciate that you all have come so far to be with me, but you will not be helping by just sitting there silently. Please, just continue,” she urged.

As Kitty said that, she found that conversation did indeed return to the room.

“How have you been, my dear Sabine?” Catherine asked Sabine.

Sabine smiled at her grandmother and shrugged, an unladylike gesture, but not one she was scolded for. “Well, thank you, grandmamma, and yourself? How is the farm?”   

“Very lonely without you all with me,” Catherine said lightly. “So, are there any new gentlemen sniffing around your skirts?” she chirped.

Sabine blushed, trying to put any thoughts of Connor out of her mind. “Not in that sense, grandmamma,” she lied. “I am courting someone but I won’t be marrying him.”

“No?”

“No,” Sabine confirmed.

“Should you want to, you can come and live with me on the farm and never marry. I would prefer that all my grandchildren did that … I’ve already lost Annie,” she chuckled. Pausing, she then looked sadly at Kitty who was still silently eating her grapes. “I suppose I should not joke about such things,” she said regretfully.

“It is a sensitive issue,” Sabine agreed. As she said it, she heard her name being called.

“Sabine.”

Turning her head, she immediately found the source. Kitty. Leaning on the table, slouching over a little, Kitty did not look like the daughter of an Earl, however, she was communicating. “Yes?” she said in a surprised tone.

“How are you finding the new stable hand?” she asked.

Taken aback by the casual conversation she was beginning, Sabine didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t truthful about Connor – that was obvious – so she had to continue on with the façade that she had created regarding her opinion of Connor.

“He is very knowledgeable,” she replied, attempting to sound as if she was forcing the kind comment. “Papa made a very wise decision in hiring Mr McKenzie.” That was an honest response. Regardless of his methods, Connor was very clever when it came to equine behaviour and management. His passion for training and racing horses was inspiring and if and when he succeeded it would be revolutionary. Besides, had he not been hired, Sabine never would have met him.

“Uncle Daniel doesn’t seem to agree with your response, Sabine,” Kitty commented.

Sabine turned to her father and saw the amused expression on his face. The conversations stopped and all eyes were suddenly on Kitty as she joined in to a conversation.

“It is a rare day when we do not hear some complaint about Mr McKenzie,” Daniel replied. Looking at Sabine with a rather amused look on his face. “I would have thought that you would have gotten to know him by now. Hasn’t he been teaching you to ride like a man?”

Her parents’ were surprisingly accepting when it came to that revelation. They saw it as a new challenge for Sabine, so long as she didn’t ride into town with her legs either side of a horse, they didn’t mind.      

“I was perfectly content with the lessons, papa, however his insistence on using Scottish colloquialisms to describe me continue to irk me,” she said, sounding annoyed. In actuality, she adored his Scottish colloquialisms. He was so tough and hard, but with every accented word he let a little bit of himself out with them. Seeing the humour on the faces of her family members, Sabine decided to take the façade a little further. “I feel as if I am one of the dogs when he calls out ‘lass’.” Her very poor imitation of Connor’s Scottish accent resulted in the eruption of laughter across the table.

A wide smile spread across her face as she saw that Kitty, too, started laughing. Seeing that sight made her happy. If Kitty could still laugh, then it was possible that she could still be happy, at least one day.

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I know this one's short, but next chapter will be where Sabine tells her parents ... :D

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