I was tired of crying.

I was tired of pitying myself.

I was tired of seeing those wussy humans enjoy what my mate worked so hard for. The creation of the humans was the beginning of something new. They were the dawn. They were the start.

And I hated them. I despised them with a passion. I don't care if there was a Noah's Ark part two. Fenris knew how to swim anyway and I can crash in one of underworld's apartments or even in Lucifer's castle. If the Christian God was gonna drown the world I pray that he would replace water with piss.

MY PISS.

They conquered our lands. They filled the space that was reserved for us. They signified our loss. They reminded me of why Lucian even sacrificed himself.

There were so many points in my life where I just sat on my bed one morning thinking of why I was even living. For what reason do I have to walk in this endless nightmare? For what reason do I have to even open my eyes and witness the sun to rise up again in the skies? For what reason do I have to even vote on the next election? Why was I breathing? Why was I moving? Why was I crying again?

I was lightless.

I was pathless.

I was lonely.

I had no more tears to shed for the many years of longing for him.

My heart became numbed and scarred all over from the number of centuries of being emotionally wounded. I always tried to take my life but a part of me had Lucian's voice nagging in my head. Fenris was also there trying to heal me and comfort me but my human part was already giving up.

It had already given up.

Yet even with all my negativity Fenris blossomed with a brand new passion every day. He never lost hope. He never became forlorn. He became stronger each day and he never failed to present me an image of our mate being in our arms again. Even if my diseased pack thought of Fenris being impaired and useless, they didn't know how robust he was. I believed in my wolf just like how he had conviction in me.

We had a dream.

It was a beautiful one.

It came from our calmest fantasies.

It was brought about the years of learning and living.

It was simple yet I wanted it more than all the riches in the world.

I dreamt of going back to the time when we were all complete. When our family was complete. I didn't mind if I lost all my fancy clothes. I didn't mind if I lost all my luxuries. I was already fed up with it. I hated the way the cameras point at me. I hated changing my identity every now and then just to not get caught and dissected by those nosy wussies. I hated studying something new for another degree. I was drained from showing a bogus smile just to earn money which I don't even need because I know the pin to Samael's bank account. Lucifer told me.

I just...

I just wanted to be free from all the modernization. I want to go back to the old and simple way of life where magical forces battle another magical force and a monster attacks another monster in a battle of dominance. I don't want to live in the social norms created by humans and prophets and leaders. I don't want to be considered as a taboo although I know that Samael didn't give two fucks about it and Lucian as well. He didn't care what other people thought.

And when I realize that, a smile always appeared on my lips and I get energized again. Lucian loved the simple way and I know that he would much rather prefer to live near the beach in a small house filled with our children. He wouldn't make me buy top designer clothes or the best food in the best restaurants. He preferred to be nude and he preferred everything raw.

I desired to be in an accepting environment free from the honks of cars and the sound of televisions and radios. Although I do love my T.V. but I prefer the sound of the birds and of course the sound of my mate munching on his carrot. Hm...I'll even take a pet manticore just to be reminded that there was a much better world before. When you get as old as me, you'd desire for something less lavish. You'd desire for peace. You'd desire for a more restful life with the ones you love.

"Caleb, let's check on our mate! Can I cuddle with him? The dodo won't mind?" Fenris asked making me chuckle.

"I'm sure he won't. Take my place then," I urged him.

I shifted in front of the other men and Fenris stretched his front legs forward. We went to check on Raphael and Lucian every now and then just to find them still sleeping. We were all impatient on who gets to spend time with the little toddler who was surprisingly a bundle of sunshine and all innocence. If you would compare this little toddler with the adult Lucian, there was a huge contrast between the two of them but with some similarities.

Toddler Lucian was as fetching as the adult Lucian. He was untamed with his words and says whatever he wanted to say and he was definitely like Lucian when he wanted to destroy someone's image in one glimpse of an eye.

I'll set an example. Before we decided to let Lucian visit the heavens to see Raphael's marriage, we had a little quarrel. Slade didn't want the chicken here.

Well we all didn't want him here but Thomas told us to be more considerate.

It was another word in the dictionary in which I would have the pleasure to piss on.

And such small quarrel led to this and to another and thus Slade challenged Samael into a battle of comparison.

The mbolo king had risen once again.

"I cannot believe this..." Thomas chuckled and plopped his ass beside me on the sofa.

Lucian was sitting on my lap and I had to cover his eyes to protect him from the vile images of the two's exposed dicks. Sevor was leaning against a wall while he watched the two quarrel with a cup of coffee in his hand. He didn't seem to be in a hurry to stop them for he was always suddenly involved in the fight. I noticed that he was fond of coffee now. How many cups of coffee did he have already?

"Why don't you join them? I'm sure you'd win," I teased the fairy. Thomas would tell me how it was hard for his husband to take in his cock because it was enormous and I asked the size. Let's just say that I couldn't imagine him fucking someone with that...whale.

That dick was a killer.

"You think your mbolo is big?!" Slade spat his famous line.

Samael stared at him with a bored expression. "Are we going to do this again? Get it in your iguana brain that mine is bigger!" the ex-reaper retorted. "You can't have someone give you a head if there isn't any to begin with!" he added exasperatedly.

Thomas cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, life is so short to quarrel about short dicks," Thomas stated with a gentle smile. "Why don't we-"

"YOU THINK YOUR MBOLO IS BIG?!" Slade angrily questioned the fairy.

Oh you did not.

"Oh Lord," I murmured and smacked my face. Lucian removed my hand from his eyes to take a peek and he let out a giggle as he brought out his tiny wiener from his pants.

"Slade onii~ Wew (we're) the same!" he giggled making us all burst out of laughter. Well that was a hit to Slade's gut of pride. Even Sevor spat his coffee out to laugh at his twin's shame.

Will the mbolo King rise up once again?

I was still bamboozled by the shrinkage of my mate but at the same time, I was absolutely shaken from how adorable he was when he was little. I bet our pups would look so adorable with my handsome sperms and Fenris's charming muzzle. I won't let the other four contaminate Lucian with their genetics. If that happened, their offspring will look like blob fishes and they will put my mate to shame!

Fenris scurried towards the bedroom with much excitement and glee. We have never felt this way until the little boy in the arms of the fairy came into our doorstep. It was too good to be true that I was scared of what would happen next. I knew that faith wouldn't give Lucian in our territory without a price.

And what we saw just proved that my instincts prepared me for the worse. It gave me another scar in the chest and I felt weaker when I felt Fenris in terror. Raphael was in heavy breaths as he tried to catch the blue glitters of our fading mate. Fenris jumped over the bed and did the same as we tried to desperately keep the little toddler from disappearing. His fading laughter was our greatest disaster.

"No no no! Caleb, our mate is going away again! Why would he leave Fenris and Caleb again?! Did Fenris do something wrong? Fenris sad!"

I couldn't reply to him. I was too lost for words. I didn't know what to say at this point. Devastation after devastation and just when we met him again, desolation came after that. I was left in a blank state of not knowing what to do anymore at this point. Why would the goddess give me a mate who would only leave me?

Was I angry at Lucian?

Yes.

I was so angry at him.

I was so angry at him for hurting me this badly.

I was so enraged at him for being so lovable that I couldn't get away from him no matter how hard I tried.

Fenris was upset. I was upset. Our emotions merged together that the pressure was becoming unbearable. Fenris' whines and whimpers got the attention of the others who came barging inside the room. Lucian's laughter resonated as we all tried to catch the glitters and put him back.

And yet again we failed with Lucian's games. No matter how hard we try to catch him, he just kept on running away from us. I shouldn't blame him because it wasn't his fault but...

I just can't help but blame him because I loved him so much. I loved him so much that it hurt me that he wasn't here with me.

Nothing was left of the toddler and his absence sparked a new argument between Raphael and the other two.

"What the hell did you do? Do you have to screw everything up?! What the fuck did you do?!" Samael screamed angrily and shoved Raphael out of the bed.

The angel didn't reply and just stared at the space where Lucian lied before. Thomas materialized in front of Raphael and used his body as a shield against the infuriated Slade and Samael. Sevor and I sat in silence. We didn't know what each other of us were thinking but we shared the same sting. I only noticed that Fenris left the physical state when I realized that I was looking at my hands as my tears dropped one by one in this slow torture.

I still had them.

Lucian still managed to harvest tears from me when all he had done was fuck me up inside and out.

"It isn't his fault! Stop with this blaming you two!" Thomas scolded.

"What do you mean that it isn't his fault? It's obvious that it was his! Look, Lucian's gone again!" Slade roared and tried to sneak a punch at Raphael in which Thomas had caught.

Both Sevor and I were knocked out of our stupor by our emotions when a plant suddenly sprouted out of nowhere on the grassy bed. Its petal like leaves were closed. It had a short and thin stem and its colorful leaves were hunched together in a tight closing as if it was protecting something.

Everyone hushed when Sevor called their attention. "Stop, look," he stated firmly.

The other three crowded again around the bed and we stared intensely at the plant. This was a clue. I knew it was. If Lucian wanted to play this game then I will play in it. I won't lose to anyone. This was all I had. I had nothing to live for besides this.

The leaves unrolled and revealed a small article of something unknown. It was golden yellow in color with intricate designs. "It's a piece. It must be a part of something. Maybe it's a fragment of a sphere," Sevor stated.

"Then where are the other pieces?" Samael asked and grabbed the piece from Sevor. "We have to find it. If we are going to rob the biggest banks, kill the President of the United states, take down a fucking twinky factory then we'll do it. I don't care what it takes!"

A strong and massive shake of the ground disrupted the continuity of our conversation and the small article reacted to it as Samael felt it vibrate. The piece rose up and our eyes followed it. I can feel my body tingle as the building that we were in started to fall to the side. How strong was this earthquake?

The piece suddenly flew out of the window as if it needed to go somewhere and Samael was fast on his feet as he chased it out and crashed outside of the window.

"We need to get out of here!" Thomas shouted over the loud sound of the earth trembling. He poofed us out of the structure with his dildo wand and transported us somewhere in China.

"Why are we in China?" I asked him. It was a good thing that Thomas didn't forget to put me in some clothes before warping us in an alley slightly hidden from the busy streets.

"It was the first thing that I thought of. I always wanted to visit China," he sheepishly stated.

"What now? What do you think is that piece?" Sevor questioned.

We were all silent before the traumatized Raphael spoke. "It can either lead us to Lucian or trick us into distancing away from him." That was true. But we should take every chance we can get. If I can't find Lucian now then that failure indicated that we were never meant to be even though we were mated.

"Don't you think that we have to follow the reaper? We can't just leave that thing in his hands!" Slade huffed in an annoyed tone.

"As harsh as it sounds I don't think anyone of you would be useful now," Thomas replied in an insensitive way.

Well that hurt.

Sevor immediately smacked his brother's mouth shut before he could even start another quarrel.

"He's right; Samael is more immortal than we can ever be. We will just get in his way of following it," Sevor agreed.

That was another kick to the balls.

Though we were too prideful to admit it, Samael was stronger than any one of us. He always was even before the creation of Adam and Eve. It took all of us to stop him from killing Lucian and I knew that he was holding back even then. He was faster; he was stronger though I was smarter. I still had some advantages against that wussy.

"Fenris sad...Mate is gone again. We'll we find him soon?"

I swallowed the pain in my throat and tried to stay optimistic for my wolf. He was always there for me and I had to do the same for him.

"We'll find him Fenris. We will."

Raphael wiped his swollen eyes and deep within me I felt bad for him. I don't blame him at all. We were all exhausted. And I trust that he would accompany us in our journey for searching for the truth. I gave the angel a pat on the back and nodded at him. This was no time to be weak.

"You're here to stay?" I asked him.

Raphael's gaze looked softly into mine. There was despair in his expression. "Yeah I am. I won't leave anymore."

I knew that and I believed in him. If he wasn't here to stay then he wouldn't have left his bride in the altar without returning his vow.

We decided to stay in a cheap hotel for the night as we watched the news. It was in Mandarin but we were able to understand it. We were multilingual after all. The earthquake killed thousands of people and destroyed establishments and other properties that were worth 150 billion dollars. That was just one state and we watched the news report the other states that were affected.

Seven hours had already passed and we were all getting impatient. What the fuck happened to that fucking unemployed moron?

Thomas's phone rang and I lowered the volume of the television. He answered it with a friendly and charismatic hello before his expression brightened. "You're in Skagit County? We'll be right there," Thomas replied and ended the call.

"Samael is in Washington," he told us.

"What's he doing there?" Slade questioned.

"The piece must have led him," Sevor replied the most obvious answer. Sometimes I wonder if Slade got less oxygen supply in his mother's womb that made his brain dumber but I had no energy to tell him that.

Thomas once again warped us out of the hotel before leaving our payment on the table. Skagit County huh? That was near the Skagit valley where the Tulip festivals were held. It was near a vast amount of beautiful nature and now that I thought about it, the toddler Lucian came from Arizona which was also filled with nature.

We arrived in front of an orphanage where Samael was already waiting. His hand was shaking vigorously as he clenched on something tightly with a painful grin.

"Took you long enough," he stated. "This thing kept on vibratin' like a fuckin' vibrator in some twink's horny ass."

"Why are we here? Care to explain you Sheisse (shit?)"Sevor rudely requested. Samael grinned at us before urging us to look at someone who was about to come out of the small house. Fenris yipped excitedly for the second time and I had to prepare myself again for another incoming heartbreak that I was sure that was about to occur any time soon.

It was a child. It was a blonde child that looked older than our lovable toddler that we had at home who decided that it was funny to have the adults panic over his absence. I estimate that his age would be 5-6 years old. He was malnourished and he didn't possess the look of a child who loved to play. His expression was dull. He looked blank. It was like life left him and made him fend in a dead body.

"You're kidding me," I murmured in disbelief. How many Lucians were there?

"His name is Zinan meaning the second son," Samael informed us as he scrolled through his phone. He gave us his signature smirk that became even more confident. "Well gentlemen, we got ourselves another one."