Have you ever been so scared, that you felt like you were going to pass out, have a panic attack?
That's how I feel now, in bed stering at all the corners of my dark room.
I see a shadow move towards me.
Trying to get me, to finish what he started, to take me away from my dad,my room, my home.

I started to cry, whispering "please don't"  over and over.
But he doesn't stop, he gets closer, he reaches out to me and I do the only thing I can think of.

I scream as loud as I can, but he grabs me and starts shaking me, screaming at me to wake up, but I don't understand he's going to hurt me again, I started to cry harder and thrash around.

I bolted upright in bed, sweeting and sobing. Something grabbed me from behind and I screamed louder, it was to dark to see, I'm to sceard to open my eyes.
The shaking got worse until I opened my eyes and sore my dad shaking me.
I stopped screaming but keeped sobing, I huged him tightly, he stoped shaking me and huged me closer to him while he coes at me and rocks us back and forth telling me it's all going to be fine.
"It's going to be okay wolfy, it's all going to be okay"

After a while of me sobing on my dad's shoulder I started to feel tired after all that crying, I hated crying it hurts you're eyes, and mostly it makes me feel weak.
But I am weak..I've always bean to weak.

"Do you want to talk about it? " my dad wispered to me.
"Not now dad...but can you lay with me?."
"Of course sweetie" he picks me up and gently puts me down on my bed, I've always felt safe with my dad and he is the only person I will lay down with. 

And it was silence for a long time before my dad fell asleep. But me....I couldn't, not without having a nightmare, without crying I couldn't.
I know it hurts him, that I am unable to tell him why almost every night I wake up screaming and crying.
I'm to sceard.
That he will think I'm lying.
He will think I'm trying to get out of school.
And my bullies will know my weak spot.
The spot that can get me crying, shaking, cerling into a ball on the ground, hoping no one will penatrat my little ball.
I know I'm not getting any sleep now, so I Snuggle agenst my dad's back.
My dad is everything to me, my mom hated me and I never knew why, I was always a good kid, never doing anything bad, always did what I was told.
But for some reason that wasn't enough, I came home from middle school one day and she was home.
When I went in the kitchen to get water, it was like a switch went off, and she stabbed me.
A 10 year old little girl.
Her own child.
But my dad walked just in time, I was so happy his shift at work finished early.
He called the police and ambulance, I servived witch was a shock because I was always unhealthy thin, to small so fragile.
My Mother was arrested and sent to jail for 10 year's.
I haven't seen or heard her in 6 year's.
I have been bullied for it ever since they found out I was stabbed by my own mother, every day, every single day I get pushed around, hit and kicked in the stomach, back or my legs, never where my dad could see or anyone for that matter.
My dad doesn't know about the bulling and I don't want him to know.
I want my dad to be proud of me, so I will suffer in silence.
To keep him happy.
And with that though I stated to drift off to the land of Nightmares.

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Hi Humans  this is my first story and I hope you like it :)

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