Cas decided to take me out to lunch today since we had a half day at school.

"We don't talk anymore." he said as he picked at his burger.

I shrugged, "what do you mean?" He just shrugged and dropped the subject.

"What's that?" he pointed at a bruise on my shoulder.

"Hmm... oh, it's from Lucifer." Lucifer being Cas' cat. He was the single fattest cat I had ever seen in my life. Cas gave me an odd look so I elaborated. "He tripped me when I was trying to feed him. Smacked it on the counter. Hurt like a bitch, too."

"Language. And it kind of looks like a hand mark..."

"Right?" I said with fake excitement. "So instead of telling people my cat Did it I can say I got in a fight, and won of course. Makes me sound a lot cooler."

Cas laughed, "well, that's one way to look at it."

I hated lying to my dad but I couldn't possibly tell him the truth. After the night on the cliff when I though Azazel was going to push me off I feared him more than usual. Who knew what he would do to my dads if I told them the truth?

***

"Mika?" I slowly pushed her door open. She looked up at me, so I walked in and sat on her bed. "I want to say sorry for earlier. You were just trying to help..."

She put an arm around my shoulders, "it's fine, Dee. I can only imagine how you feel. I just can't stand to see him push you around."

"I'm thinking about leaving him... after we go out for dinner tomorrow..."

"Good." she grabbed my iPhone and went on YouTube. When she found the song she wanted she sent me back to my room to listen by myself.

When I got to my room I sat on my bed and pressed play.

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gon' to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again
Heed my lecture.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gon' to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt,
she said, "This doesn't hurt",
she said, "I finally had enough."

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
He's coming round again.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gon' to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt,
she said, "This doesn't hurt",
she said, "I finally had enough."

By the end of the song I was sobbing. It hit me that no matter how much he said he loved me that if he actually did he would have never hit me. No matter what I did, no matter how mad he was.

It hurt to have to let him go. For six months he was the kindest man I knew, other than my fathers. For six whole moths he was sweet and loving. He genuinely cared for me.

What if it had all been a game? what if he never loved me? was he just trying to gain my trust?

Those questions sent new waves of sobs through my body.

I guess I would never know. I would just have to cling to the hope that during those six months he really cared for me and something happened that caused him to change.