A/N: *trigger warning* this chapter briefly discusses sexual assault. So if that's triggering to you I advise skipping this chapter.

I slid my lip gloss over a slightly swollen lip. I took a deep breath an I heard the door bell.

I was leaving Azazel tonight and it scared me more than anything. At least we were going to dinner so it would e public. He wouldn't hurt me in public. I hope.

"Bye, Daddy." I kissed Cas and Dean's cheeks and walked out the door with Azazel.

When I noticed we were heading the wrong way from the restaurant I spoke up. "I have other plans. Better plans." he said simply.

Fuck. This could potentially ruin my plans.

We pulled up to our cliff and he got out to slide into his back seat. I did the same and realized he had blankets laid across the back seat.

He leaned against the side. I took a mental note that I hated mustangs. Since it was only a two door it would be a lot harder to escape if need be.

He wrapped his arms around me sweetly. I physically relaxed into his hold so it didn't seem like I was on edge. But I didn't let my mental guard down.

"I just want to say sorry. I've been a real dick the past few weeks and I know I don't deserve it but I hope you forgive me."

He's lying, he's lying, he's lying. I mentally chanted. He doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it.

"It's fine." I said and kissed his cheek, hoping he couldn't see through my act.

Apparently he didn't because he just pulled me to him and kissed me. It was such a sweet kiss I wondered if he was being honest. Then mentally chastised myself for thinking that.

After a few moments his kissing turned a little more aggressive and he reached to pull off my shirt. That's when I pulled away.

"I don't want to go too far..." I muttered as I scooted as far from his as the small space allowed.

"Babe, it's almost been seven months." He complained. "Is it the whole religious thing?"

I shook my head and looked nervously down at my hands, "I just dont... I don't like it."

He gave a sharp laugh, "you're a virgin. How would you know?"

"I just don't get sexually attracted to people. I'm asexual." I shrugged.

"You've gotta be fucking with me." He pulled me closer despite my protests. "You just don't know what it feels like." he ripped my shirt harshly off my body and did the same with my pants. "I can fix that."

He pushed me harshly into the seat as he removed my under and unzipped himself.

I just laid there and let him do what he wanted in fear of being hit. I tried to focus on the radio and not what was happening to me. But the song didn't help.

Shut up slut, you love it

Shut up slut, you love it

Shut up slut, you love it

The singer repeated. I started crying more until I heard more of the lyrics.

Cause revenge ain't gonna kill you, honey

Revenge is just gonna give you shit

And I told you because I found the reasons why you're

miserable

And it's not my fault

Sorry sugar, you can't fix this

I'd stop now if I were you

You screwed yourself

That's when it hit me.

I hadn't done anything wrong. Absolutely nothing. It was all his sick messed up mind that did this. And I wasn't going to get revenge. I was just going to let go and be the bigger person. I needed to put my mental health before my "boyfriend."

Now, if my daddies wanted to get revenge: that's a different story.