James's POV
We laid like that for hours.

His head rested against my arm as I held him close to me. He was deep in slumber by now, but I stayed awake to watch him sleep.

How could someone be so unimaginably perfect?

Every time my mind wandered back to what we had just done, I couldn't help but get aroused. I wanted to do that with Killian every night for the rest of my entire existence.

I couldn't even remember when he had drifted off to sleep, but I could tell I had worn him out completely. I'd never seen him so tired. He barely had any energy left to clean himself up so I happily took care of that for him.

I had decided that I would clean him properly in the morning before his memorial service.

He stirred slightly in my arms now, mumbling something I couldn't understand. There was sweat dripping down the sides of his face and I sat up slightly in worry.

"No... no..." he murmured softly against me.

His eyes shot open moments later. They were completely filled with fear. "Killian." I whispered gently, and as if just those words had brought him back to me, his eyes slowly drifted closed again.

"I'm sorry." He murmured into my chest. I gently ran my hands through his hair, placing soft kisses on his forehead. I thought he had drifted back to sleep, but his voice called out to me moments later. "James?" He whispered.

"Yes, Kil?" I asked.

"Will you come with me to the memorial tomorrow?"he mumbled. A small smile rugged at my lips.

"Of course. Now go back to sleep, baby. We'll talk about this in the morning." I whispered back. He cuddled himself further into me.

Sleep found us both shortly after.

-

We both woke up late as fuck.

"Shit!" Killian hissed, as his eyes focused in on the time his phone read. He had moved to sit up, but during the night, we sort of rolled over to the edge of the bed.

So when he tried rolling out of my arms, he really just fell off the bed.

"Ow." He groaned. That woke me up instantly.

"You okay?" I asked him, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes. He pointed to his phone which now read 10:46am. It was accompanied by 16 missed calls from Sarah.

"Shit!" I followed in suit as both Killian sprung into action. I couldn't help but smile as he had some trouble with moving around due to our extracurricular activities the night before.

-

"We are gathered here in loving memory of Louise Korsakov. The people she touched, and the torches she lit ablaze with her unconfined personality, will forever touch and cherish those she held dear to her. We are grateful to be joined today by not only her AA group, but her very own son. We've come here to honor and treasure the life she had, and keep in remembrance how she lived, not how she died.

"Killian, if you would step forward?" The man who was speaking, who I guess was also Killian's mother's sponsor, called out.

I gave Killian's clammy hand a reassuring squeeze as he fumbled with his guitar case, before taking a seat at the stage besides a large portrait of his late mother.

She was almost a spitting resemblance of Killian. She had had his eyes.

"I'm not good at writing a speech, so I'm just going to sing a song in its place. My mother used to sing to me when I was very young. Music was one of her escapes. I hope it helps her soul rest well." He finished.

I glanced down at the pamphlet in hand as both me, Rosie, and Sarah waited patiently for the song to start. There was a slight pause while Louise's sponsor knelt down to say something to Killian.

I leant into Rosie. "So Killian's Mom was in AA?" I asked quietly. She nodded silently back to me.

"She got used to finding comfort at the bottom of a bottle. After Killian's father died, she lost herself. About 6 months later, she committed suicide." She replied. "Killian was the one who found her." My body froze completely.

I sat there. Stunned.
Completely stunned.

I hadn't even noticed I had let go of the pamphlet until it rustled to the ground at my feet.

The music began to play...

The guitar strings almost seemed to strum themselves as Killian played the instrument effortlessly... when his voice started on with the lyrics, I felt my heart break into a million little pieces.

Killian's POV
I took a deep breath in.

This was what she would have wanted, I told myself quietly.... so I began to sing.

This world will never be
What I expected

And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it?

My mind traveled back to the first night I had found my mother. She was laying on the kitchen floor, with a bottle of pills besides her.

I tried my best to get her up, but she was unresponsive.

This was the first attempt of many.

I will not leave alone
Everything that I own

To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late...

Even if I say

It'll be alright

My mind flashed back to weeks after the first attempted overdose. "Don't worry, mama." I whispered against her ear as she laid in her bed tired.

She was always tired then.
She never left her room.

Neither did the bottles of Jack Daniels.

Still I hear you say

You want to end your life

Now and again we try

To just stay alive

Maybe we'll turn it all around

'Cause it's not too late

It's never too late

I could feel my eyes burn as I remembered the night we were evicted. Mama was behind on rent three months.

She had brought me to a shelter off the corner of Main, and left me there alone with our belongings for three days as she went on a bender.

No one will ever see
This side reflected

And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it?

And I have left alone
Everything that I own

To make you feel like

It's not too late

It's never too late...

"You'll get better mama, and it'll be like it used to be." I whispered to her as we laid on the floor of a musty studio apartment together. This was all we could afford, after mama had spent every last scent of papa's life insurance on booze and drugs.

Even if I say

It'll be alright

Still I hear you say

You want to end your life

"Momma!" I cried, as I saw the blood pooling around her wrists in her bed. She hadn't come out of her room for weeks. I had only left to get some groceries, I thought to myself. I had only been gone moments. She was barely responsive now. She had lost too much blood.

Now and again we try

To just stay alive

"Momma!" I called again. "I can help you. Please, let me help you." I whispered.

"It's too late, baby. It's too late..." she whispered to me, as the last bit of life left her eyes.

Maybe we'll turn it all around

'Cause it's not too late

It's never too late...

James's POV
My body trembled as I witnessed a tear roll down Killian's cheek as he sang. His usual dead eyes were now more alive than they'd ever been. Every emotion  I had failed to see him express, was coming back in full force as the tears kept were dropping uncontrollably.

I heard Sarah sniffle besides me and I turned to her.

"This is the first time..." she whispered, her eyes wide.

"The first time?" I asked.

"This is the first time I have ever seen Killian cry."