***

It was a long drive to San Francisco, a city that I had never personally visited and one that was so drastically different from Gotham that I knew it would not be easy to transition to my stay here. I could only wonder exactly how long I would stay here, the only thing that I did know was that I would stay here as long as Rachel, Gar, and Jason needed me.

"This is like... totally awesome." Gar exclaimed as he rushed out of the elevator taking in his surroundings with a sense of childlike wonder. He had always made it clear that being a hero was a sort of dream of his and the main reason why he wanted to leave his friend at Doom Manor.

"I guess you can call it that." Rachel replied in a relatively bored tone as she too looked around our perfectly polished surroundings. Since what happened with here father only a couple weeks ago I noticed that Rachel seemed incredibly withdrawn and not the girl she was before Trigon. I could only imagine what she went through, in truth it was still difficult for me to completely wrap my mind around what we went through. It was especially difficult to forget. I knew I would have to talk with Rachel soon, but now didn't seem like the time.

"Trust me Rach this is going to be awesome." He replied unfazed by her indifference as he continued to smile brightly.

"Doubt that. So fucking stupid." Jason muttered bitterly as he walked away luggage in hand, this seemed to snap Gar out of his trance as a new wave of excitement seemed to wash over him.

"I want first pick of the bedrooms!" Gar declared as he ran after Jason his own limited belonging in hand. Rachel slowly walked behind them, surprisingly carrying the same miserable energy as Jason who wanted to return to Gotham.  A sentiment that I currently shared.

Now it was only Dick and I who remained in the large living room with the high glass window that looked out into the San Fransisco bay. The view was admittedly beautiful but so different from the gothic architecture that Gotham had to offer that I once again found myself going back to the city that I loved. 

There were so many words that needed to be said between Dick and I, a conversation that I was not ready to have just yet. I could feel his hesitation behind, the tension that seemed to grow anytime that we're alone together. If we were going to spend so much time around each other it was a conversation that needed to be had, but one that I was not prepared to have  just yet. Instead without a word I followed the children into the hallway with all the luggage that I packed in hand. This place had multiple rooms all seemingly the same so I chose a room at random, luckily that random room had a perfect view of the bay.

We had arrived late afternoon and although I wanted to begin unpacking to distract myself from the millions of thoughts that were running through my mind I was too restless to be locked within these four wall. For so long I spent nights on the rooftops of Gotham and now falling in a normal routine seemed impossible. With an irritated sigh I stepped out of my room into the quiet hallway, the children were probably in a deep sleep from the long drive and although I wished I could do the same I found myself exploring different rooms in the building.

It was twenty stories high and it would be impossible go through the entire building in one night. Ultimately I found myself in a room that held what simply looked like meaningless objects, it varied from scraps of metal to masks and weapons. Slowly I realized that they had to be little trophies from all the Titan's adventures.

"It looks like you Titans liked collecting trophies." I stated as I turned to face Dick who was currently leaning against the doorway with his hands in his jean pockets. His eyes held an expression that I couldn't read and as he stepped closer to me is was difficult to guess what he was thinking.

Dick came to a stop behind me, so close that his chest was pressed against my back and I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck. I had to admit to myself that it was difficult to keep my breathing even with him this close, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of moving way. This caused annoyance to build up inside of me, because Dick knew exactly what he was doing.

"Wally's souvenirs. Mostly from Doctor Light, Psimon, Shimmer, Mammoth and Gizmo." Dick named looking straight ahead. There was a melancholy in his voice that was hard to miss, it was clear that he seemed to miss his time with the Titans. It clearly wanted to go back to what possibly was simpler times, and I wondered how different Dick was when the Titans still existed. I couldn't even be bothered to ask who Wally was though I could assume it was either Kid Flash or the archer Speedy. "We called them the Fearsome Five."

I took a moment to think it any of the names that he listed were familiar to me, but the ridiculousness of the names was too much to ignore. Some part of me want to tease him for it, but that would open a door that should remain closed. A long time ago it became clear to me that it was a lot easier to fight with Dick than to love him. Maybe that was why my words were laced with cruelty that he was familiar with. "Who gave them that name? A twelve year old?"

"Thought you would have been well acquainted with them." He countered though there was no bitterness or judgment in his words. In fact he seemed to simply be teasing me as his lip slightly curled from the attempt to suppress a smile. This wasn't the reaction that I expected or maybe he was simply choosing to ignore my tone.

"I didn't play with sidekicks." I replied, a sharp edge in my tone that Dick didn't miss this time.

He looked back at me in disbelief and as a hint of anger sparked in his eyes. I felt satisfied with this reaction because this was a routine that I was familiar with. Him being angry and disappointed at me was so much easier. "I don't understand if you clearly don't want to be here why did come?"

His question actually left me speechless for a moment as I wasn't completely sure of the answer myself. I wanted to go back to Gotham because it was a place where I felt like I fit in. San Fransisco, this building, everything the Titans stand for was the opposite of who I was. "I don't know."

"I think I have an idea." Dick replied as he took a step closer the look in his eyes completely changing from moments before. I could see that familiar look in his eyes, that hope that he always seemed to want to associate with me. It was a look that I have always been determined to crush knowing that I could never be that perfect hero that he wanted me to be. And I definitely wasn't going to pretend to be something that I'm not to measure up to him or his expectations.

"Well, you're always wrong so that's not very comforting." I replied dryly before walking around him and out of the room. The anger and irritation I felt only moment ago seemed to completely disappear as I walked into the kitchen. I was so deep in my own thoughts that I didn't realize that Dick had followed me and I couldn't even remember why I came here in the first place. Looking out the window the moon was already at its peak, it was late and it was best to simply go to bed but for some reason I didn't move.  Choosing to stand in the kitchen with Dick in silence.

"I don't want us to be like Bruce and Selina." Dick declared firmly, reminding me of the conversation that we had in my loft back in Gotham.  A conversation that was left unfinished but was clearly still haunting the both of us. Turning around I met Dick's eyes who were also absent of the anger from moments before, instead there was a pleading in them that cause a tightening in my chest.

"Neither do I." I replied truthfully as their back and forth routine was one that seemed tiresome, of course that wasn't the case now as Selina had successfully disappeared. Bruce claimed that he had been searching for her for years, but it was now beginning to become clear to me that Selina didn't want to be found.  That she had moved on, something that I had failed to do. For all of Bruce's shortcomings I knew he would always be there when Dick or Jason needed him.

As much as I hated to admit it to myself I was confused and lonely. In that aspect I was nothing like Selina loneliness didn't suit me very well, it made me impulsive and reckless.

There was a long moment of shared silence where although  nothing was said there were so many emotions and unsaid words that were felt. Dick seemed deep in thought for a moment before taking a single step towards me determination shinning brightly in his eyes.  "Chey if we're going to work together you have to know..."

"I know." I stated immediately as I turned away from him. Dick was someone that I knew ridiculously well and right now he was wearing his emotions on his sleeve. It was so different from the emotionally closed of Dick from a couple of weeks ago who was someone that I had to learn to move around. Now I wasn't sure how to best approach this situation when this more open version of him was so determined to share what he felt, it was so much like the Dick I first met when we were younger that I felt a sense of panic speaking to him now. "I know."

"Then let me say it."

I shook my head not wanting to hear his words and feel the weight of them. Once he said those words I knew there was no taking them back and it would only complicate this whole situation we were in. How could we possibly live and work together if those words were voiced out loud? I knew for me it would be impossible. "You don't have to."

"I still have feelings for you. I always have and it's been torture having you around these last couple of weeks and not be able to tell you." Dick stated his tone serious as I felt him move closer to me, yet I still refused to meet his eyes knowing that if I did I would completely lose myself in them. "I know you feel the same way."

Turning around I met his questioning eyes against my better judgment. Like I expected any reasonable though seemed to disappear as I reached out and placed hand on his chest. It was a gesture that was so familiar to us, something that I did often on the Gotham rooftops. An action I did to assert my control over him, only now it was my desire to be closer to him that me closing the space between us. My eyes never left Dick's as I felt my heart beating wildly in my chest with yearning. "Us together is a terrible idea."

"I disagree." He replied firmly and I didn't know which one of us leaned in first. It hardy mattered as Dick's lips touched my own and I was reminded of how strong my feelings for him actually were. In fact it was slightly ridiculous how much my feeling hadn't seemed to change in the eight years that I've known him.

At first the kiss was gentle just like the first but it wasn't until his tongue entered my mouth our restraint crumbled as we both seemed to pull each other closer. My back suddenly hit the marble counter as Dick's lips left my own as the trailed down to my neck. He continued to mark every inch of my exposed skin before expertly sliding his thigh between my legs creating some desperately needed friction between the two of us.

"I've missed you." He muttered against my skin, his voice still noticeably deeper than usual. Pulling away from him I met his eyes full of lust that certainly matched my own. Everything about this moment felt right, even if moments before I thought I would regret this. And maybe I would but it wasn't the case now, where I felt that I never wanted to be away from Dick again.

"I want you." I whispered against his lips because after so long there was still no one else who she desired to be with.

"Here?" He replied with a chuckle a slight smirk on his lips, I knew he was simply teasing me. After all we were far from alone and even though it was late into the night the reality was that one of the kids could leave their bedrooms in any moment and the last thing I wanted was for them to find us like this in the kitchen. Instead of returning his playful look with one of my own I leaned forward brushing my lips against his neck beginning to mark his skin like he did mine moments ago. "Your room is closer."

***

It was definitely an odd feeling being held in Dick's arms after so many years. If I was being honest with myself this was something that felt inevitable, ever since Dick Grayson came back into my life he reignited feelings that I spent so many years attempting to suppress.

However, like I before I was overcome with the thought that this wouldn't last. That just like before things between us would go horribly wrong. The reality was that I was nothing like insecure girl that I was before and maybe that's when things between us went wrong. But what about the time in-between then and now when I thought that I finally knew who I was, maybe I was also lying to myself the because even now I felt different from the woman who enjoyed being around some of Gotham's most dangerous criminals.

My head rested on Dick's shoulder while my hand rested on his chest feeling as his heartbeat slowly regained as a regular rhythm. We fell into a long moment where no words were spoken and although I wasn't looking up at him, I could feel his calm as he slowly traced meaningless shapes on the bare skin of my hip.

"What's wrong?" Dick asked after a long moment of shared silence that we both seemed to use to gather our thoughts, though his seemed much more clear.

"Nothing" I muttered because in many ways it was true. There was nothing wrong with this moment and it was my own thoughts that wanted to destroy it. The reality was that there was nothing else that I wanted than to be in Dick's arms and pretend that our troublesome history didn't exist.

Slowly Dick shifted into a position where he was looking directly in my eyes. The room was dark but I knew how brown eyes so well in the darkness that it was like the barrier of darkness between us didn't exist. Reaching forward Dick cupped my face in his hand, running his thumb gently across my cheekbone. "That look isn't nothing."

"I just... I don't understand," I began at a surprising loss of words. I didn't know where to begin or even if I should apologize. After so much pain I was sure an apology would never be enough. Dick seemed so calm, like what just happened between us was the most natural thing in the world and here I was overthinking what happened. Maybe I hadn't changed as much as I thought and was still plagued with insecurities. "I was so cruel to you that last time we saw each other. How could you want this?"

Dick smiled and all my worried seemed to disappear as he wrapped an arm around me pulling me closer against him. "You know the answer to that."

I did. He didn't need to say it because it mirrored what I felt. Being here now it felt absurd to try to deny it. But could what he felt for me ease what I had done? Although I still had so many questions I didn't want to ruin this moment, and he seemed ready to move on. Moving on is what I needed to do too.

Without a moment of hesitation he leaned forward capturing my lips and sending me back to the state of euphoria that I was in only moment ago. Returning his kiss I ran my finger through his dark hair before reluctantly pulling away to meet his eyes again. "What were you thinking of?"

"Of you." Dick replied simply like the answer was obvious. It surprised me how she seemed much less tense than he was when we first found each other again. He was once carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and now he was a lot more like the Dick that I remembered. Like when we were younger and he looked at me like he was now, like I was all he needed. "Always of you."

He was smiling again and it was impossible not to return his smile as I pulled him into another kiss. Knowing that he was mine again helped me realize that maybe he was all I needed too. That now that we didn't have so many obstacles we would be just fine.

***

A/N: It finally happened! It only took two books, but I hope it was worth it. They both had their obstacles and their inner demon to tackle before they could be together. We also can't forget that Chey got herself in some very deep shit in the past, something that we will continue to explore in the flashback chapters. But Chey and Dick are together now, and they will definitely need each other for what's coming their way. Christmas chapter coming next.... maybe?