Chapter 4: Baby

When life didn't give you a choice, don't turn your back against it. Instead, make your own options.

Kinabukasan ay wala kaming kibuan ni Mom sa hapag. Hindi rin mapakali si Inang sa kaniyang kinauupuan. Maya-maya ay nilapag ni Mom ang kaniyang kubyertos at pinunasan ang kaniyang labi.

"Red."

I was startled when she suddenly called me.

"Are you interested in photography?" she asked.

I was stunned for a minute. This is the first time that she asked me about my interests. Happiness overflowed in my system. This feeling is surreal. Pakiramdam ko ay sasabog ang puso ko sa sobrang tuwa.

Tumikhim ako. "Y-yes, Mom. It is one of my hobbies." She nodded.

"Join in the Photography Club, then." There is a finality in her voice when she said it.

Pagkatapos ng mahabang katahimikan sa pagitan namin ay tumayo na si Mom. She went inside her room.

Wala sa sariling napangiti ako. I hope this is the start of healing between us. I have been waiting for this day for so long.

"Improvement?" nakangiting tanong sa akin ni Inang nang mapansin ang masayang disposisyon ko.

Tumango ako. "Sana nga po ay magtuloy-tuloy na ito."

"Mag-tiwala ka lang. Mahal ka ni Mama mo, Red. Alam ko," bulong niya na nagpalakas lalo ng aking loob.

I finished my food before going outside. Chalondra Amanda Salvador is standing proudly beside our exquisitely carved grand staircase. She looks like an antagonist directly pulled from an afternoon drama. She is wearing a white buttoned top and red plaided skirt. Her outfit was completed with her red stilettos. She looks classy and elegant. Her aura screams of power and authority.

"Sasabay ka sa akin. I will drive you to your school," sabi niya bago lumakad papunta sa nakaparadang red Mercedes E 450 Coupe.

Walang pagsidlan ang aking tuwa habang nakaupo sa front seat. Kung sinumang makakakita sa akin ngayon ay aakalaing nababaliw na ako dahil sa laki ng aking ngiti. Pakiramdam ko ay mapupunit na ang aking pisngi.

"Did I give you permission to smile like an idiot?" Mom uttered while driving.

The smile in my face immediately faded.

"S-sorry," nahihiya kong tugon.

Pigil na pigil akong ngumiti na baka mas lalong magpairita sa kaniya. I must behave if I want this to happen again. I feel like we have a normal mother-daughter relationship. I almost squeal when I thought about us, doing the normal things that mothers and daughters usually do like shopping, going to the spa and the likes.

"Don't forget what I have told you. I will know if you will disobey me again," she warned me.

Kumaway pa ako bago niya pinaharurot paalis ang sasakyan. Hindi ko maiwasang malungkot tuwing sumasagi sa aking isipan na baka magbago din ang trato niya sa akin at bumalik siya sa dati. I don't want to lose this feeling of contentment.

Ngayon lang ako pumasok sa school nang maluwag ang pakiramdam. Kahit na may pagkamalupit pa din si Mom, naiintindihan ko naman na naga-adjust pa siya. She is new to this, I know. There is still a gap between us but I know that eventually, we will get along well.

"Nagkasundo na kayo?" Nagulat ako ng biglang sumulpot sa aking tabi si Ieana. Nakatingin sa akin ang mataray nitong mga mata. Her shoulder-length hair danced as she went nearer to me. With her pink pouty lips, she smirked.

Nagkibit-balikat lamang ako at nilagpasan siya. Natigil lamang ako nang hinawakan niya ang palapulsuhan ko. I stared at her with an emotionless face.

"Patawarin mo ko, Red. I know that it is not easy to forget but please, forgive me," she pleaded, gone her bitch face.

"You're right, it's not easy to forget... so as to forgive." I left her with my ruthless answer. Tears are forming in her eyes but I don't feel conscience anymore and that scared me. I'm starting to be afraid of myself.

Pagkatapos umalis ng professor ay nagmamadali akong tumayo at dumiretso sa SC Office. Ngayon ko balak ipaalam kay Vaughn ang desisyon ko.

I didn't bother to knock and that made his chinky eyes widened. I sat immediately on the chair in front of him and smiled devilishly.

"No." That two-letter word is my decision. I will not run under his party list.

"W-what? I t-thought-" I cut him off.

"Sorry, but my decision is final. Have a great day ahead, Mr. President. Don't think too much about me."

I stood proudly and opened the door.

"Wait," he interrupted.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay na ikinalunok niya. Bumagal din ang kaniyang paghinga.

"I-I just want to s-say... sorry. For the pain that I've caused you," nakayuko niyang saad.

"Really?"

Nahalata niya ang panunuya sa aking tinig kaya mas lalong lumukot ang kaniyang mukha. Tila pinagsakluban siya ng langit at lupa.

Bumali ang aking ulo at mataman siyang tinignan. "Not enough." Acid is dripping in my voice.

Dire-diretso akong naglakad palabas ng silid na iyon. Nanghihina akong napasandal sa pader at napayuko. Nakakapagod din palang maging matapang. Sometimes, you don't have a choice but to be brave when you don't have someone to lean on. You're on your own and that makes you stronger. You are your own savior.

I composed myself and went to the garden- my favorite spot here in the campus. I sat under the tallest tree and sighed. The shades kept me from the heat of the sun. It's overwhelming that a simple tree can protect me.

"Alone again, miss?" The familiar baritone voice woke me up from my reverie.

He sat beside me as he sipped from his coffee.

"Tanghaling tapat pero nagkakape ka," komento ko.

Nagkibit-balikat lamang siya at tumingala. Natulala ako sa Adam's apple niya. Sh*t na malagkit! Ang hot!

"Am I really that handsome?" Napaiwas ako ng tingin nang bumaling ang kaniyang mata sa akin.

"Jerk," asik ko. Alam kong may hitsura siya pero naiinis ako. Hindi sa kaniya kundi sa sarili ko. Nakakahiya at nakita niya akong halos tumulo ang laway kakatitig sa kaniya.

"Baby..." he whispered.

Umawang ang bibig ko nang madinig iyon. Napansin niya ang pagkatigil ko kaya mas lalo siyang lumapit.

Ngumisi siya. "Speak up, Red. I want to hear your thoughts. What are you thinking?"

Naliliyo ko siyang tinignan. "Y-you-"

He cut me off and leaned closer. "I also think of you. All the damn time," he uttered.

Mas lumala ang nararamdaman ko lalo na at nagsimulang maglikutan ang mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan.