Chapter 25: Us

I hid from Death. I sought for Life and then, I found you.

Huminahon ako kalaunan, nang makauwi na. We are both unusually quiet today. Siguro ay dahil sa dami ng iniisip at dahil na rin sa bigat ng napag-usapan.

"P-pasok na ko. Uh... t-thanks," nakayuko kong sabi.

Bumaba siya at sinundan ako pero tumigil din nang matapat sa gate namin. I pouted and thought of a nice way to finally say goodbye to him. Napansin niyang nag-aalinlangan ako kung papapasukin siya kaya marahan siyang umiling.

"I will not stay longer. Don't worry."

I nodded and sighed heavily. I am not yet ready to introduce him to Mom now that our relationship is still blurry. We don't know where this will bring us but I have faith in him... in us.

"Drive safely, alright? T-text me when you are already home," I uttered with sleepy eyes.

Napagod ako ngayong araw at parang hinahatak na ng antok pero gusto pa siyang makausap kahit saglit. Tumango siya at tinawid ang distansya sa pagitan namin. Kinabig niya ako palapit sa kaniya at hinalikan ang aking noo.

Umaawang ang bibig ko at napapikit. "Good night. I love you. Always," he whispered gently.

Nanatili pa ring nakapulupot ang kaniyang mga braso sa akin. I loved how he can make me at peace just with his words. Kahit noon ay ganito siya, he speaks his mind when it comes to me. And I loved him deeper for that. I want to know everything about him and it frustrates me every time I feel like it's being clingy. I think it's not healthy for both of us but I'm really dying to know him deeply.

I hugged him back and rested my head in his chest. Naramdaman ko ang malalalim niyang paghinga. I don't want to break the calming silence. I just want to stay like this with him forever. But we both need rest.

Kumalas ako at hinarap ang kaniyang mga matang nakatitig sa akin, kanina pa ako pinagmamasadan. Nalunod ako roon. Sari-saring emosyon ang nakita ko sa kaniya at bumundol ang sakit sa aking dibdib nang tumusok sa akin lahat ng iyon. I looked away and gasped for air.

"You go now. I will wait for your message," I murmured with finality.

Nang suminghap siya ay napalingon ako. Fear and pain flickered in his eyes. Sumikip ang dibdib ko, nararamdaman din ang sakit na tulad ng sa kaniya. How crazy our feelings can get? But I love every moment with it. For once, I felt alive even though my heart is twisting in pain. I love every pain this feeling brought me. It brought me to him and it's more than enough for me to live.

"A-am I... losing you?" mahinang tanong niya na nagpabagsak ng damdamin ko. Nahabag ako sa nanghihina niyang mga mata. We are both scared of the same damn thing and it's... hurting and calming me at the same time. We both fear of losing each other. 

Bumagsak ang mga luha ko habang nakangiti ko siyang pinagmamasadan. "N-no. You will never lose me. Remember our promises? It's still intact within me." I sobbed harder but still smiling. Naestatwa siya at pinanood ang bawat pagbagsak ng aking mga luha.

He reached for my eyes and I closed them. The darkness swallowed him whole but I can still feel him, pouring all the emotions he has for me. Nanlambot ako nang maproseso iyon. If I die, I will lose him but not this feeling of peace and being alive.

Nakatitig lamang ako sa kisame at hinihintay ang message ni Magnus. Namumugto pa rin ang mga mata ko pero hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa aking labi. I am contented with what have happened even though we are still don't have a proper label. I don't want to rush everything. I want things to come naturally.

"Red? Are you asleep yet?" I heard Mom behind the door.

Lazily, I opened it for her. A creepy smile was plastered on her face. She arched her brows and poked my cheeks, teasing me about something I don't know.

I frowned. "What is it?" Nagkibit-balikat lamang siya at pumasok sa aking silid. Sinara ko ang pinto at pinanood siyang tinititigan ang mga frames. Karamihan doon ay picture namin ni Dad at ang kaisa-isang picture ko kasama si Mom ay noong ipinanganak niya ako. Kuha iyon sa ospital at karga-karga niya ako.

Natulala siya doon kaya nagsalita ako. "By the way, Mom, I'm sorry if I didn't tell you na gagabihin ako. I was with a friend—"

"Yeah, I know. Your friend already told me that you were with him. Hmm," putol niya sa akin na halatang nanunudyo.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at pagod siyang nginitian. I love her but sometimes she is annoying. Especially when she talks about my 'love life that's in drought'. Yeah, whatever.

"Magnus, isn't it? Tinawagan niya ako at sinabing nasa plaza mall kayong dalawa," kwento niya na pinagdiinan pa ang mga nahuling salita, talagang ipinipilit na may kung anong mahiwagang mayroon sa amin ni Magnus.

He lied. Hindi niya sinabing iba ang kasama ko. Natulala ako pero natauhan din nang pumalakpak si Mom sa aking harap. Ngumisi siya at tinaas-taas ang kilay.

I chuckled and hugged her. She combed my hair softly that made me close my eyes. "He's courting me," I whispered.

"Hmm. Not a surprise anymore."

Doon ako nagulat kaya napaupo. With eyes wide open, I stared at her as if what she had said was a big joke. How did she know? I did not tell her anything.

Tumawa siya na parang naisahan niya ako. I projected a sad face. "Magnus told me. He asked for my blessing and I willingly gave it to him," she said while smiling like she is so proud of what she has done.

Then, suddenly, she sobbed. Bumigat ang dibdib ko at nangilid ang luha. She's trembling. "You're now a fine lady. But I'm still scared, Red. Please, don't leave me, alright? I love you, anak," she pleaded. Tumango ako at niyakap siya kaya medyo nahimasmasan. She kissed me good night first before leaving.

Then, I'm alone again. I embraced the silence, thinking that it would embrace be back. I need the pain of loneliness. I want all of it. I need to prove to this world that my life is worth living despite the pain it has. Everything is worth it. I love every moment of my damned life.

Nagitla lamang ako nang tumunog ang aking phone sa panibagong message. Magnus' number appeared on the screen. I opened his message immediately.

Magnus:

I'm home. Sleep now. You're probably tired.

Dahil na rin sa antok ay nakatulog na agad ako pagkatapos mabasa iyon. Kinabukasan ay pumasok ulit ako dala-dala ang mabibigat na libro. Mabuti at natapos ko lahat ng assignments at mga na-missed kong tasks. Gumising pa ako ng madaling araw para magawa ang mga iyon. I hate catching up when it comes to studies. It's stressing and tiring.

Naglalakad ako ng bigla kong makasalubong si Magnus na may dalang bouquet ng roses. Inilahad niya sa akin iyon pero nang makitang marami akong dala ay natawa kami pareho.

"Let me..." Binuhat niya ako ang mga libro ko at kinuha ko naman sa kaniya ang bouquet.

I smiled and uttered a simple, "Thank you".

He stared at me and nodded. "Okay. I love you, too," and he chuckled.

Hinatid niya ako sa klase ko at pagkatapos ay umalis na rin kaagad. Recently, I just found out that he is a law student. Nakakapagtaka nga at nitong nakaraan ko lang nalaman iyon. Napansin kong makahulugan ang titig sa akin ni Hera kaya napailing ako. Ngumiti siya at nginuso kung saan umalis si Magnus.

"Wow. Flowers. Hatid. Label na ba ito?" Humagikgik siya.

Napapikit ako at sinita siya dahil napatingin sa amin ang iba. Kumunot ang noo ko nang magbulong-bulungan ang mga iyon.

"Hindi ba si Magnus at Jazz pa rin? Akala ko sila kasi nakita ko silang magkasama kahapon."

"Gano'n din ang alam ko. " Sumulyap 'yong isang babae na may highlights ang buhok sa akin. "May mga malalandi talaga sa paligid, 'no? Wrecker."

Hindi ko nagustuhan iyon. Maging si Hera ay namula sa galit at handa nang sugudin iyong babae pero pinigilan ko siya. Umiling ako at umayos ng upo. Iniwasan ko ring magkatagpo kami ng tingin noong babaeng nagsabi noon dahil ayaw ko ng gulo.

"Stop it, Hera. Don't mind them. They don't know anything," pigil ko sa kaniya.

Umirap siya at inis pa ring binalingan ako. "They are obviously accusing you of something you are not, Red! Bitawan mo lang ako at susupalpalin ko ang mga ito! Mga pakialamera! Hindi nila alam na 'yong akala nilang anghel ay may sira sa ulo, " madiing bulong niya, nanggagalaiti pa rin.

Nagtaka ako doon. Sinong anghel ang tinutukoy niya? "Sino?" tanong ko. Lumapit siya sa akin at kinuwento ang lahat ng nalalaman. Natigalgal ako roon. Hindi ako makapaniwala.

She frowned. "Hindi mo alam? Kalat 'yan dati pero pilit na itinatago," she whispered.

Hanggang sa natapos ang klase ay bad trip kaming dalawa. Ako ay pinipigilan ang galit samantalang si Hera ay binubugahan ng apoy ang mga babaeng iyon kapag nagkakasalubong ng tingin.

"Hey, Red! It's me, Glyde! From the Photography Club?" bungad sa akin ng isang babaeng may suot na weird headband. It's an ear of an elephant and what made it more scandalous is its size. It is far bigger than the ordinary.

She chuckled. "It's a dare. Again. Anyway, we had a meeting last time but you're not here. Absent ka kaya hindi mo alam ang napagusapan. But don't worry I'm gonna tell you."

Tumango ako kaya nagpatuloy siya. "Nakarating sa amin na mayroon kang blog, tama?" Nalaglag ang panga ko doon. "We want to feature it in our magazine. If you will allow it?"

Suminghap ako at tinagilid ang ulo, naguguluhan kung paano nila nalaman. "S-sinong... nagsabi sa inyo?" utal kong tanong.

She shrugged. "I don't know, either. Sky only told us about it."

Kahit bigla pa rin at tuliro, tumango ako kaya napangiti siya. "Alright! I will tell them. Let's just meet soon, okay? Bye!"

Nakatitig lamang ako sa sahig habang si Hera ay nakikipag-usap kay Vaughn sa 'di kalayuan. Nag-angat lang ako ng tingin nang may tumapat sa akin.

It's Pheliz and she has dry tears on her cheeks. Nanginginig siya habang inaabot ang kamay ko.

With her lips trembling, she uttered, "C-can we talk? It's about... Magnus."