Disclaimer; I do not own Yuri on Ice, nor any characters unless stated. This book does not follow the original storyline, also meaning their ages have changed. Every new character introduced has an age next too it.It also may contain sensitive subjects such as anxiety, depression, and swearing/mature content. Please read at your own risk. Enjoy my little Katsudon bowls~ Porki

{-Yuri Katsuki- 18 -Male}

I looked at my reflection in my phone. The bags under my eyes were big enough to hold my entire house, and my face was pale enough to blend in with the snow.

Speaking of, I should probably help shovel the snow like my mother asked. I'll do it later.. Who am I kidding, I won't. I wanna go skate today. I've been locked away in my room since I got home. Curtains closed, lights off, and any source of light blocked out. My mom would bring me food, but I only ate one of the meals. Obviously it was the pork cutlet bowl..

I'm such a pig.

I sat up from my bed, barely making any sound as I did. I placed my blue rimmed glasses onto the bridge of my nose, pushing them up fully with my index finger. I sighed and stood up, walking over and putting on my jacket.

~Timeskip brought to you by sexy pork cutlet bowls~

I slid onto the ice smoothly. Yuki had let me in before the rink opened because she figured I just wanted some alone time. Which was true.. I don't want people seeing me when I skate anymore..

I positioned myself in the stance Victor had begun in as I began to copy one of his dances. I imagined having all the fame and fans he had. Being loved and looked up at.

I wish I could have that. But I never will. Instead I rot away in my room. I become more pale, more skinny, and more ugly. I didn't socialize.. Well.. Unless you count talking to myself, calling Phichit.. Oh, and talking to my.. other 'friends'... Those ones understand me.

As I finished my copy of Victor's skate I suddenly heard clapping and squealing. My face turned a dark crimson shade and I could hear my heart beating at my eardrums.. My whole body flushed with a warm sensation as I turned to see the source, Yuuko.

"Y-Yuuko! I didn't know you were w-watching!" I mutter as I glide towards her, my face still burning red. "Yuuri! That was amazing!" She shouted, cupping her hands together. "It wasn't that good-... W-Wait, are you crying?!" I rubbed my eyes hastily. "Yes! That was wonderful!" She pulled me into a bone crushing hug as I continued to blush madly.

When she finally let go I mustered up a little smile. "I-I have to go now Yuuko.. Thank you." I rushed off, changed into my shoes and ran home, tears pricking my brown eyes.

I rushed into my house, my parents trying to get my attention but I continued to bolt to my room until I crashed into something. I had landed right on top of it. By now I could tell it was only a statue. My head rested on it as the sound of my heavy breathing filled the hall.

I soon realized that someone might see me and quickly sat up, continuing to rush to my room. I slammed my door shut and threw my skates to the ground, pressing my back against the door as I slid to the ground slowly. I panted slightly, cursing myself for letting myself eat so damn much, especially with my disorder.

I walked to my dresser, pulling out clean clothes. I peeled off my damp sweaty clothes and threw them to the ground, walking into the bathroom in my room, forcing myself not to look in the mirror.

~Timeskip brought to you by how my joggers just got stuck to a fucking drawer djsjsj~

I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep doesn't come easily to me, and when it does it doesn't stay too long. I'll admit I have a bad case of insomnia, which I hate. It gives me time alone, but with my thoughts. Especially at night.

I have no one.

No one to hug or be loved by.
No one to cuddle with every night. No one to help my when I'm scared or having a panic attack. No one to stop me when I hurt myself. No one to care for me.

No one.

I just want that one person. I want them to be how they're described when I was little.. Someone who's always there for you. Someone who will always love you for who you are. They'll always be there for you, no matter what!

I smiled faintly, looking around my room at my posters.

I can't wait until I get that kind of love.

My smile fell a bit as I remembered all the bullies and people who said that a pig like me could never be loved. I sighed, trying to deny the depressing thoughts that began to fill my head.

My heart beat began to accelerate as the thoughts of getting beat up run through my head. My head began to throb as I sat up quickly. I began to freak out a bit. Why am I freaking out though? I dropped out of school, the bullies can't get to me now, right?

I stood up and rushed to the bathroom getting a small cup of water and gulping it down quickly. Still hyperventilating a bit I sat down, easing my trembling legs. I sighed and sat on the floor for a little.

After I calmed myself down I went back to my bed. My breathing was still a bit odd but I kept it somewhat stable. I picked up my phone and checked the time. 3 AM.

I wonder if Phichit is up at this time...

I shouldn't bother him at this time.

But I really need to talk to someone.

I held my breath in anticipation, holding my pillow tightly. My finger hovered over the call button until I was scared shitless by Phichit's loud as hell ringtone. I answered quickly, but a bit too quickly for my liking..

"Hey hoe, you up?" Phichit whispered into the mic.

This is one of the things I like about our late night conversations. It's the only time of the day when he's not screaming in my ear calling me a hoe. But what I hate is that he does like ASMR when he talks, all in my ear... Still calling me a hoe. He's kinda like my brother. Which is nice.

"No I picked up the phone in my sleep dumbass." I replied sassily.

"Well damn.." I heard him shift, "someone's on their man period." I could practically see him rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, why are you up?" I rolled onto my back, running a hand through my hair.

"I had to pee."

"Ew, why'd you call me then." I said jokingly.

"Hey, you asked hoe. And I was bored. Why are you up?"

I rolled my eyes at my 'nickname'.

"I had a bad dream." I lied

"Oh. What was it about?" He asked with concern.

"I can't remember.." I said simply.

"Oh.. Well if you remember you can always talk to me," he yawned. "Anyways I'm tired.. Night Yuri!"

"Night hoe."

-
Hdhhwjszj I finally did it and I'm kinda tired now. This is actually kinda fun for me to write so I'll probably work on this often. If you liked it please leave a vote or comment or anything! Thanks for reading! ~Porki