"Perk up"

"Be happy"

"Why are you always sad?"

"Oh look, it's the emo kid!"

That's what they always said to me. Being depressed and all, it's kind of expected. That doesn't mean that words don't hurt me though. And by the way, I'm not emo. I just don't act like one of the popular people.

Also, being happy is difficult for me and you can't just tell someone to be happy and in an instant they're all sunshine and flowers. It doesn't work that way. I try my best for the fans though. Also for Mingyu, my best friend. Mingyu and the fans make me happy. Still not as happy as the average person, but as happy as I can get.

Maybe if someone loved me I would be happier. Not fan love. Not friend love. The kind of love that makes your heart beat at an irregular pace and makes you nervous just thinking about that special person. That's the kind of love the I want. The kind of love that I need.