"Wha-what...?" I ask, bewildered, the whole room turns tense, and surprised.
"Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Mark repeated, sounding more curious than before. I gaped, in complete shock.
What should I say??
"Yes, I do." I said without thinking, I immediately was terrified. The tension unknotted ay my answer, but it didn't intense my heart.
"Oh, too bad." Mark chuckled.
What did I just say!?
"What...?" A broken whisper sounds from behind Me, and I pale noticeably when I turn my head to see Jhope looking at me, the rest of Bts behind him, his face is blank, as if he hasn't processed what I just said, but his eyes look like they're in excruciating pain.
Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit!!!
"Oh, hey guys, you're back. We were just asking if (Y/n) was dating someone, and-" No, please don't say it again...!! "-he says yeah, he is dating someone." BamBam said cheerfully, clapping me on the shoulder.
"So, are they female or male?" BamBam asked me, grinning at me like 'You sly dog' and everyone turns to look at me, why do they keep looking at me? Jhope is still looking at me too, he looks like I just shattered his heart. I think I shattered my own...I already lied once...I'll look like a huge jerk if I confess now...but its the right thing to do.
"M-male." I blurt without thinking.
Damn it (Y/n)!!!
I see Jhope's expression shatter completely. All the feeling and emotion in his eyes fell apart, leaving an empty, detached expression. My own heart ripped to shreds. How could I...how could I have done this...?
"Awe, cute! Congrats!!" BamBam Said, patting my shoulder again, and Got7's manager came in, encouraging them to hurry up and saying that the van was here for them and they need to go.
"Goodbye (Y/n)! Nice to meet you! Congrats and good luck." Mark called and winked at me slyly. I paled even more as Got7 slowly left the vicinity, calls of goodbye sounding around us, some to me, some to Bts, or a mix of each. But I wasn't paying much attention, I was too busy getting more and more angry at myself.
"Hey, you okay, (Y/n)? You look furious." Jin asked me, concerned.
"Oh, why do you ask?" I reply, avoiding his question and trying to relax the muscles in my face.
"Well, I'm just wondering." Jin murmured, he seemed like he had backed off from me some, but I'm not sure how, because he was acting normal.

~*~

We finally made it back to Bts' dorms, or rather, my new home. I felt a clench of guilt squeeze my heart tightly, making it difficult to breathe.
"G-Guys...uh. where's the bathroom..?" I asked, pretending to feel sick.
"You okay? It's over here." Rap Monster asked me, gesturing for me to follow him as he leads Me around the halls.
"Here, this is the bathroom." Rap monster said, patting my back before turning around, I looked behind me, the exhausted Bts members were all fairly quiet and reserved, mostly laying on the carpet or sofa and napping, Jhope had been very quiet since I lied...but he was still mostly normal...
I slipped into the washroom, and locked the door, with shaky hands, I pulled my razor blades from my pocket, and my handy two sided screwdriver. Kneeling down, I carefully open the cabinet under the sink, and find a box of shaving razors.
Pulling out one, I twist off the screws holding the razors, and slowly I get the three razor blades and roll up my long sleeves.
I hurt Jhope...
5 cuts
I'm a liar...
12 cuts
I should die...
Countless cuts

Tears streamed down my face as I felt my chest fill with self loathing. With self disgust.
I glared at my pathetic reflection in the mirror, and felt the blood seeping from my sliced arms, I look down, and the cuts rowed up my arms and back down, the cuts were diagonal, horizontal, vertical, overlapping and by themselves on both arms.
I went to the tub and let them bleed into the sink, a knock on the door making my heart jump to my throat.
"You okay, (Y/n)?" Jhope's voice sounded through the door, a wave of guilt washed over me, and I wiped my new tears away with my old ones.
"Y-Yeah, I'm okay!" I lied, praying it was convincing.
He hesitated a second, and the doorknob wiggled, and fear rushed through my veins. I desperately pulled out my bandages from my backpocket and hurriedly wrapped it around my arms to stop the bleeding, or at least staunch it. Before I remembered the door was locked.
"(Y/n)? Why is the door locked?? Are you okay!?" Jhope cried, worry and fear in his voice.
"I-I just feel kinda nauseous, I'm okay, Hoseok!" I assure him and tie the bandages, confident they're tied properly, and I stuff my razors in my jeans pocket, and the remaining bandages in my backpocket, pulling my sleeves down to hide the bandages spotting in blood. I clean up rushedly and look around the bathroom, quickly washing the blood out of the tub until it was all gone, making sure no evidence was left. I swing the door open suddenly, and see Jhope with a scared face, his fist knocks on my forehead and his mouth opens, then he registers that the door is open.
"Oh! Oops, sorry." He smiles slightly, relief easing the muscles in his face, guilt immediately stabs me.
"Are you okay, (Y/n)?" His eyes glance at my arms and my heart jumps in my chest, and I plaster a smile, laughing a bit, and I scratch the back of my head.
"Yeah! Of course I'm okay."