We pulled into the hospitals parking lot and I had a pain in my gut " Luke why are we here" I asked but again he said nothing.

Who...

We walked inside and went to the elevator stepping in I felt worse because Luke still hasn't said anything.

The doors opened and I was greeted by all the guys they looked sad I looked around and noticed someone missing.

EVAN!

I ran up to Tyler making him look at me " Where is he" I said with a shaky voice and when he looked me in the eyes my tears finally left my eyes.

" He is in surgery right now he got in an accident last night after you guys fought" he said.

I let go of him and back up my world felt like it was spinning.

Tyler grabbed me and pulled me into his chest and I let everything out I was crying and screamed.

He held me tighter and I felt another hand rubbing my back " John I'm sorry" Luke said.

It's all my fault.

I fell to the ground on my knees crying harder than any other time I have ever cried before.

I should have never run away.

I was scared I shouldn't be scared of Evan.

No I wasn't scared of him it was that stupid flashback.

Why did my life go to shit.

Why didn't I die and I just have to live and constantly be reminded of how fucked up I am.

Is this a sick joke am I a toy that god is using.

" John please calm down" I heard Lui's voice gentle next to me then arms wrap around me.

" Were here for Evan but John were all here for you as well" he whispered in to my ear.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest.

Why is life so cruel.

He started to slowly rub my back whispering shh's in my ear.

Everyone went silent the world went silent.

It was as if everything in the world was silently watching me watching me suffer in pain.

Why me.