-Theo-

Would I ever run out of tears?

I cried my eyes out while holding Deon in my arms, trying to convince him that everything was going to be alright. I knew I was lying, even though I had promised I wouldn't lie to him.

Nothing was going to be all right.

We spent a long time on that cliff. We just stared at the sea without speaking much. The sun was setting, making the view even more breathtaking. The red glow around us made everything so beautiful, but the thought of not being able to return to that place with Deon was killing me inside, so it was hard to appreciate the amazing nature.

The drive back was filled with silence. Deon was deep in his thoughts, and he wasn't being himself. He seemed like he had given up and lost his will. I was scared he would do something stupid if I let him be alone.

"I want to make another deal," I said to him. "I won't hurt or kill myself, if you promise to do the same."

Deon looked at me with tired eyes and nodded. "Deal," he said shortly.

I wanted to believe him, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone wrong in him when we were at the cliffs. When Deon stopped his car in front of my home, I turned to look at him.

"Are you all right?" I asked quietly.

Deon looked at me and nodded. "I'm just tired. I'll be all right tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," he said and tried to smile.

"Okay then... I'll see you at school tomorrow," I said.

"I'll come pick you up," he said in return. "Don't make me wait."

"I won't," I promised and after hesitating a moment, I hugged him.

Deon patted my back awkwardly. "Just go already," he chuckled.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then," I said, getting out of his car.

I watched him driving away before walking to my home. My dad was watching TV in the living room when I stepped in, and I decided to go say hello to him. I wasn't sure why I wanted to do that all of a sudden. Maybe Deon's condition had made me realize that life was too short to hold grudges. My dad was at least trying to do better now – I noticed he had tried to clean up the place while I was out. It was really odd to see the living room so clean and without the empty beer cans lying around. The house didn't even smell that bad anymore.

"Hey, where have you been?" Dad asked, looking a bit excited. "I made dinner! It's just macaroni and cheese, but I'm learning! Tomorrow I'm going to try lasagna," he said, closing the TV.

"That's great, Dad," I said. "I was out with Deon."

"Out, you mean like on a date?" he asked. Now that was just weird. He looked at me like he had just asked about the weather.

"Uh, no... We are just friends..." I muttered awkwardly. "Do we have any vegetables?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what was good, so I bought a bunch of them..." he muttered, sounding a little embarrassed, and got up from the couch.

I followed him into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, and I had to step back in surprise.

"Are you going to feed the army or something?" I asked, staring at the double-door fridge that was filled with food. I had never seen it so full in my life – or without the beer.

"I kind of exaggerated," Dad said with a smirk. "Is there anything we can eat?"

I chuckled and stepped closer to the fridge. "Yeah, I just hope they won't get bad before we can."

"Well, I can make you lunch for school," he suggested.

"Or I can teach you how to make a chicken salad," I said.

"Really?" Dad asked, and he suddenly looked emotional. "That's great, son."

The word 'son' moved something inside me, but I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad feeling. I didn't know if I could ever get used to him being so nice and caring, but he was trying, and I wished he wouldn't change back into a mean drunk.

I gave him a small smile before turning to grab a whole chicken out of the fridge.

"You can make the salad, and I'll worry about the chicken."

It was actually pretty nice to hang out with him. I still wanted to keep my distance, but he looked glad that I wanted to teach him to cook. We made a huge chicken salad, and after an hour when it was finally done, I took three big lunch boxes from the shelf. One for me, one for Dad, and one for Deon as a thank you for taking me out. I put the rest of the macaroni and cheese into another lunch box and put it in the fridge. After that, we sat down to eat the rest of the salad.

"So, how's school?" Dad asked at some point.

"I guess I could do better," I sighed.

"You really should," Dad said between bites. "This is really tasty," he said in awe.

"It is, isn't it? I smiled.

"How about your... Um..." Dad said, staring at my bandaged arm.

"It's itching, so I guess it's healing. My ribs are feeling better too, if I don't strain myself."

"That's good to hear," Dad said, but he was looking worried.

"I'm not going to hurt myself anymore," I said with a firm voice.

After that, the conversation turned back to my grades. He was worried about how bad they were. I promised to do better. After we finished eating, Dad told me to go get some rest, and promised to clean the kitchen. I was glad for that. I was tired, both emotionally and physically. It had been a really, really long day.

When I stepped into my room, I saw my phone still lying in pieces in the corner. I sighed and went to pick them up. The screen was badly cracked, and I couldn't use it anymore, so I threw it into my trashcan. I wondered how many new messages it already had, and how long people would keep trying to send me new ones.

I pushed that thought out of my head and grabbed my bag from the floor. I started pulling out the schoolbooks and spotted the black notebook falling to the floor. I stared at it for a moment. My stomach twisted at the sight of it. I stared at it for a moment before carefully picking it up.

As I flipped through the pages, everything started feeling silly. I remembered Deon saying that I should be grateful to be alive, and I understood why. All my problems seemed so small compared to Deon's. I sighed and opened one of the drawers of my desk and hid the notebook at the bottom of it. I didn't need it anymore. There were much bigger issues in my life now.

*****

The next morning, I woke up feeling excited to see Deon again. I rushed to the shower, making sure my bandages didn't get wet. It was a hard task, but I somehow managed to keep them dry. After I stepped out of the hot shower, I glanced at myself in the mirror.

There were a couple of new bruises between the old yellow ones. Sean had managed to punch me a few times over the past week while Deon wasn't watching my back. I wasn't angry at Deon. I understood perfectly why he had tried to be so cold to me. I sighed when I remembered he wasn't going to stay with me for long, but then I forced myself to think of something else. I'd end up crying if I thought about it.

I looked out of my window after stepping out of the bathroom. It looked chilly outside. It rarely snowed in our city, but the air could get really cold. For the first time in a long time, I was glad about it. I needed to hide my scars, and it was easy when I could just wear a hoodie. I needed to find something else to hide my arm with during summer. If I lived that long.

That thought stopped me in my tracks. It was suddenly clear to me what I should do when Deon would die. He was the only one worth staying alive for, so when he would be gone, there was no reason for me to live anymore.

I would go with Deon when it was his time.

My weeping soul fell silent, my aching heart stopped bleeding, and I accepted my fate gladly. I would stay by Deon's side right until the end, and beyond that. That thought soothed me better than anything else. Ever since my mom died, I hadn't felt anything so comforting than that single thought.

I had found my peace at long last.

*****

"What's this?" Deon chuckled when I sat down in his car and gave him his lunch box.

"I made chicken salad for you," I said and offered him a large paper cup. "And some breakfast."

Deon peeked into the cup. "What's this?" he repeated his question with a suspicious look on his face. "It looks like vomit..."

I shook my head. "It's a veggie-fruitie! I made it for you. It has all kinds of fruits and vegetables in it. It tastes really good, I promise."

Deon didn't say anything. He looked at me like he was asking, 'do I have to?' and I nodded. He sighed, closed his eyes with a frown, and took a huge gulp.

His expression changed when he moved the cup away to see its content again. "Not bad," he said with an almost shocked voice. "It's actually really good."

"I told you," I said with a smile and buckled up my seatbelt. "Drink up, it gives you more energy than a cup of coffee."

"Don't tell me I have to give up coffee too..." he muttered and drank some more. "Veggie-fruitie... You just made up that name, didn't you?"

I shrugged. "Well it has vegetables and fruits in it."

Deon chuckled and drank the whole cup empty. "Thank you," he said with a smile.

"I know it's not much, but if it gives you even one more hour..." I trailed off. "It's worth it, right?"

Deon looked at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes before he started the engine. "I think you're right," he finally said with a smile. "I will do anything to have one more hour."

I smiled, feeling glad that he didn't say what he really wanted. We both knew that one fruitie didn't change anything. I just couldn't sit back and watch while my only friend died away. I had to at least try to do something, and making healthy food was the only way I knew how.

"You don't have to start feeding me, you know?" Deon said after a while.

"Just let me do this, OK?" I said quietly. "I need to do something..."

Deon sighed, but nodded. "If the salad is as good as your veggie-fruitie, I can't wait for lunch break," he said, obviously humoring me.

I gave him an appreciating smile.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said suddenly and searched something from his bag. "This is my old phone. You can have it since you broke your old one."

I stared at the smartphone he was offering to me. "I can't take it..." I objected.

"Just take it. I have no use for it," he said, and I took the phone hesitantly.

"Thank you," I muttered, studying the white, lean phone in my hands.

"There's a sim card inside already, and my number," Deon said, and I thanked him again, putting the phone safely inside my own bag.

Soon after, we arrived at school, and I started feeling nervous. I wondered if the posters of me were still on the walls. It was a ridiculous thought – the teachers had probably found them as soon as they had stepped out of their classrooms – but I was still afraid.

"Come on," Deon said, stepping next to me. "I could use a cup of..." he trailed off when I looked at him with pleading eyes. He bit his teeth together and continued behind his teeth, "...water?"

"Water is good," I smiled at him, and he sighed.

"I wonder what else you're going to take away from me," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder when we walked inside the school.

I was glad to see there were no posters left anymore. I could still hear some students snickering at me and pointing at us when we walked towards the first class. Deon, as always, didn't pay any attention to them, unless he heard someone calling me bad names. Whenever that happened, he turned to glare at the person who spoke, staring at them until they ran away with fear in their eyes.

"They better run," Deon snorted. "As long as I'm alive, I will not let them harass you."

I leaned my head back to see his face. He looked at me with a wide smile, and I felt a slight jolt in my stomach. He still had his arm around my shoulders and I noticed how small I was in his arms. My head barely reached his chin.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he said and ruffled my hair.

We walked through the crowded hallways, and Deon held me closely by his side the entire time. I felt safe and warm with him, and I wasn't afraid anymore. Once we stopped next to our homeroom class, Deon leaned against the wall, pulling me right next to him. His arm never left my shoulder, and I felt happy.

We were drawing some disgusted looks from others, but no one dared to say anything in front of Deon. I felt so content I didn't even realize leaning my head against his shoulder, almost closing my eyes.

And I wondered if Deon's scent had always been so nice.