Pic of how Freya and Valerie look ^^

Collen POV 

After I left papa and ran to be alone, I realized that was a mistake because I'm scared, I shouldn't have run in a way that there isn't anyone so if something happens, I'd be defenseless with how I am right now. I changed directions mid-run and ran to the strong scent of where my mates have been living, the guest house. They are still at the packhouse so I'm safe from them seeing me when I shift back. I open the door and the strong smell of sex hit me and I threw up, right there at the doorway. I wiped my mouth and shifted, running back to the packhouse. I saw my mates laughing and having a good time which they should be doing. I may not be able to live normally but that doesn't mean they shouldn't. I ran into the hospital and went to my room, shifting and getting dressed, brushed my teeth, and went back out to the door of the hospital. 

"If you all want me home, have the decency to clean the house, it smells like sex and it made me throw up when I went home a little while ago!" I said loud enough over the music and chatter for them all to be able to hear me. The music got turned off and they looked at me.

"I can't tell you all not to do that but at least clean up when you're done and when I go home, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it and I certainly don't want to join. Don't sneak up on me, don't ask me questions about my time there, don't touch me unless I tell you that you can and I want to sleep alone. If you all can agree to those terms I will return home." I said and they all nodded and smiled at me.

"Anything you want Collen, we'll do it." Titan said and the others agreed. I nodded once.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and saw the kids playing ball still so since I set my terms knowing no one will come up to me without me knowing I walked over to them and Freya smiled at me, put the ball down and moved back. I ran to the ball and swung my leg back and kicked it, high and far, the kids all laughed and ran after the ball, kicking it back and forth, dribbling it and Freya had the ball and kicked it to me and she pointed behind me to the side and I noticed a goal set up with a kid guarding it and I dribbled the ball running to the goal and faked left making the kid go left and kicked it right and being me I pointed as I kicked and the kid went toward the right and caught the ball, making him smile wide at me. 

The other kids even both teams cheered at him catching the ball, I winked at him and he blushed and ran to the group of kids. We played soccer for a bit and I gotta say running around with twenty kids makes you tired. We all were laying in the grass catching our breath and I felt relaxed, happy to be home. These kids are amazing and I'll be damned if anyone hurts them again. They are all innocent babies no matter how old they are. 

"Collen?" I heard little Valerie call my name and I looked over at her.

"Yes, dear?" I smiled and she blushed, so adorable. 

"May we have a treat?" She asked shyly and I chuckled and nodded.

"Of course, come on pups." I said and we all got up and went to the table that had a lot of treats on it. The kids took their time and looked at everything and settled on the food they wanted. They also grabbed juice boxes. Freya and Valerie walked up to me and handed me an apple, banana, and a bottle of water. We took our treats and went back to our spot we were at earlier and ate. I asked them questions and they all were happy to answer and my mates eventually joined our circle and joined in on the conversations we were having. 

I know me being distant with them is putting a strain on our bond but I can't help it, I feel scared around men when I'm alone and I don't know if I'll ever be the same again. I know in my heart they won't hurt me, their my mates and they love me but my mind, it's on a whole other level. 

"Colly?" I looked over at Adriel and he was biting his lip before I would have found that to be a tease but now, I don't want to think about that.

"Yes, Drel?" I asked using his nickname I gave him when I was little without even realizing it. He smiled and I saw tears in his eyes.

"Can we talk, alone? I swear I won't touch you and we can still be in eyeshot of everyone but I want to talk to you if you want." He asked nervously and I thought about it for a few minutes and I sighed softly, we do need to talk so I stood up and told the kids I'd be back. Adriel walked ahead of me, everyone knows not to be behind me by now, not after I punched daddy when he came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder, I felt horrible about it but he understood and since then, people stay clear of the backside of my body when possible. 

"Here is good." I said when we were far enough away but I could still see everyone. He stopped and turned around, standing a little way from me. 

"First I just want to say I'm happy your home. The past six months weren't easy on any of us, that includes you as well so we are all relieved your home. I know it's going to take time for you to be comfortable and heal but time is something we have and we're all here, no matter what. Second, I want to apologize Colly, I should have told you I'm your mate when you were of age and the reasons aren't important now, I know that now and I will always regret not telling you. I remember my punishment from God and I remember the feeling of being lonely and lost, I think that's why I was given the punishment I was given, to make me feel how you felt for years and if that's the case, I will do anything I can to make it up to you because I didn't like feeling lonely and lost, not when I had you all along. I love you, Collen, so much." He said my name, he never called me by my full name in all my life. 

"I love you too Adriel, I have always loved you. It may not have been a mate bond love but I have in a way always loved you. You're also right, the reasons you didn't tell me aren't important, other things are much more important. Things like making sure those babies are safe, happy and healthy, things like me healing, my mates being happy, me not being scared to just be alone with one of my mates like I am now, those are important. Us, will take time Drel, that's a given but I need to know you won't lie to me again and that you won't not be there for me, I need all of you even if it doesn't seem like it Drel, I need you." I said and I felt the tears just pouring out and I could see he wanted to comfort me and I wanted him to, my heart did but my mind saw my torturers and I just couldn't tell him to hold me. 

"I'm so sorry Collen, I'm so sorry. If I could take back the past, I would in a heartbeat, and maybe you would have been here, safe and happy like you had said before, we would probably have had a family by now. I am so sorry." He said breaking down and even though my mind was screaming not to, my heart reached out and I hugged him, holding him and him tentatively putting his arms around my waist, holding me just as close, both of us crying out our pain and regret, his regret and pain and my pain. 

After we stopped crying I lifted my head from the crook of his neck and looked into his beautiful eyes and I felt myself relaxing and I slowly moved in and he stood there, waiting on what I was going to do, I wanted to kiss his lips but also didn't want to so I kissed his dimple on his cheek softly and he smiled, kissing my cheek.

"One step at a time but that was a big step. It will take time but we will be patient and wait for you. Do you accept me as your mate Colly?" He looked hopeful and I sighed softly. 

"Yes I accept you as my mate Drel, do you accept me as yours?" 

"Yes, with my whole heart and soul I accept you, Collen Jax O'Brian, as my mate." Once he said that Lazarus woke up and I felt complete and powerful. 

"Your wolf, he's awake!" Adriel said and Lazarus took control of my body and pushed me to the back of my mind.

Lazarus POV 

I looked into the eyes of my one true mate, my first mate of this lifetime and growled possessively and pulled him into my arms and kissed him deep and hard, feeling the sparks and connection strengthen each passing second. 

"Stop, Collen wouldn't want this." My angel said as he broke the kiss.

"Why wouldn't my human want us to be with our mate?" I asked looking into his eyes.

"You don't remember but he was kidnapped the moment he completed the mating with his mates and well just look into his mind and you'll know." So I did just as my angel had said. I closed my eyes and went deep into Collen's mind, seeing the moment he marked Xavier to the moment he was back home and everything in between. 

"Oh no. No no no. This can't be, how? What did they do to him?!?!" I roared and everyone submitted without realizing it and I saw nothing but red and one person is in my line of sight, Logan.